


Young girl, get out of my mind

by SilentRain91



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Anya is Lexa's cousin, Clarke is a teacher, Clexa Endgame, Eventual Smut, F/F, Lexa has a motorcycle, Lexa/Octavia/Ontari brotp, Ontari is not bad in this story, Raven is a teacher, Romance, Slow Burn, Some Fluff, Some angst, Underage Drinking, Very slow slowburn, camping trip, chemistry builds slowly, rebel!Lexa, very slow, when I say slow burn I really do mean slow burn, who has a son, who is dating Raven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 51
Words: 153,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7400851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentRain91/pseuds/SilentRain91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Good morning, students. I’m Miss Griffin. Now since this is the first day of this school year and I don’t know all of you yet, how about you all briefly introduce yourselves?” </p><p>When it’s Lexa’s turn to introduce herself she rolls her eyes because this is childish. She had vaguely listened to other students introducing themselves, but she didn’t care to truly listen. It’s doubtful there would be any new students, and if there are, she isn’t interested. She turns her face to look at her teacher. “Wow, well hello, gorgeous blonde. It looks like heaven lost an angel.”</p><p>Student/Teacher AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First impression

**Author's Note:**

> (DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY FICS. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR ANY OF MY FICS TO BE POSTED ANYWHERE EVER!!)

“Hey, my little guy,” Clarke coos. She scoops Aden into her arms. “Mommy needs to go to work soon.”

“Mommy.”

“Let’s get you dressed. I know it is early, baby.”

Clarke smiles at the way Aden is rubbing his eyes, still sleepy. She has to get him dressed so she can drop him off at the daycare before going to work. Being a single mother isn’t always easy, but she loves Aden so much and she wouldn’t trade him for the world. It wasn’t easy to be pregnant during her last year of her studies. In the end it worked out because she got through it and found herself a job as a teacher at Arkadia.

She had gotten pregnant after she went to a party where she got overly drunk. It’s all a blur because she can’t recall who had made her pregnant and she’ll likely never find out. Some could say it was a mistake she made, to get so drunk, but she knows that Aden will never be a mistake in her eyes. All that matters now is that she has a beautiful son who makes her happy.

“Who is the most beautiful boy in the entire world?” Clarke coos as she lifts Aden up. “You are.” She blows a raspberry on his tummy and smiles as her son giggles. “I love you so much.” She stares into his green eyes, eyes he didn’t get from her. He has sandy blonde hair and his cheeks are slightly chubby.

Aden looks up at his mother and places one of his tiny hands against her cheek. “I wuv ew mommy,” he says with a small voice.

Clarke feels her insides melting, so happy to hear Aden saying it back to her. It’s something her son has been doing recently, since she keeps telling him she loves him multiple times every day. She’ll never get tired of hearing Aden saying it back.

“You’re all ready for daycare. Niylah will be happy to see you again.”

“Ni-Ni!”

“Yes, baby.” Clarke peppers Aden’s cheeks with kisses. She knows her son likes Niylah from his daycare and the woman always takes good care of Aden. The first day she brought him to daycare, she had cried. It was before she got a job as a teacher and she was working in a coffee shop. Each time she has to bring her son to the daycare, it feels like giving half of her heart away.

Clarke smiles on her way to the daycare, but her smile falters slightly when she knows she’ll have to leave Aden there now, for the entire day. Her son is taking this much better than she is, because he’s such a brave little guy.

“Hey, Niylah.”

“Hello, Clarke,” Niylah says with a warm smile. She holds her arms out for Aden. “Hey, Aden,” she coos.

Clarke kisses Aden’s cheeks and hugs him tight. “I love you so much, I will pick you up after work,” she whispers before handing him to Niylah. “Take good care of my little guy.”

“I will,” Niylah promises. “Aden is in good hands.”

Aden smiles and claps his hands together. “Ni-Ni!” he shouts happily.

“I have some new stuffed animal friends that are waiting to meet you.”

Clarke sniffles a bit when she leaves. Aden is growing up so fast. She can barely believe he will be two years old soon. Back in college she didn’t think that at age twenty-six, she would be a single mother, although so far she has been doing well. She’s renting an apartment, which isn’t much, but it’s enough for the time being and her job as a teacher at Arkadia will help her to save up more money. What matters most to her is Aden and she wants to give him a bright future.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa slams her alarm the moment it beeps. She’s not in the mood for this. When she rolls around to sleep more, she’s disturbed by knocks on her door. “Go away,” she grumbles.

“It’s your first day of school, Lexa. This is your last year at Arkadia. Come on, get up.”

Lexa sighs when her door swings open. “I’m not interested to go, Anya.” She pulls her blanket over her head to add to her point.

“Get up,” Anya insists. She walks over to Lexa’s bed and pulls her blanket away. “If you don’t get up now I’ll drag you there myself.”

Lexa hates this whole situation, she hates it so much. Anya is her twenty-eight year old cousin, who she lives with since she is seventeen and she can’t live alone yet. “I don’t want to go to Arkadia,” she says stubbornly.

“You had no problem going the previous years,” Anya says matter-of-factly, knowing Lexa used to be a good student who always strived to be the best. “You should get going, so you’re not late.” Her cousin is usually one of the most punctual people she knows.

“That was before you hooked up with one of my teachers,” Lexa retorts. “Everyone at school is going to know and it’s going to be awkward. I have to deal with sitting in her class and calling her Miss Reyes.”

“Don’t be rude, Lexa. Not everyone has to know and besides, all the students have to call Raven Miss Reyes, so stop complaining and get dressed for school.” Anya is frustrated by how bad Lexa has been taking this, because she happens to like Raven a lot. She assumes this would be a bad time to tell her cousin she has been talking with Raven about her possibly moving in.

“Fine,” Lexa mutters, feeling even more frustrated now. She doesn’t like how awkward it is when Raven is all blunt and casual when she’s around, yet at school Raven is completely different and it’s weird.

Anya silently waits in the kitchen while Lexa gets dressed. When her cousin walks out, she sees that Lexa is clad in black leather pants, black combat boots and a plaid black and dark grey shirt.

Lexa picks up her helmet and her backpack, heading out the door. “Hey, O,” she says, greeting her friend who’s waiting outside.

Octavia smiles and walks up to Lexa. She’s wearing black jeans, sneakers and a band shirt from Slipknot. “Ready to go to school?” she asks her friend, already sensing the answer would be no.

“Eh, I guess,” Lexa replies and shrugs. She puts her helmet on and grabs her motorcycle. “Hop on.”

Octavia grins and wastes no time to hop on. She digs how Lexa has a motorcycle and how she offers her a ride to school. It sucks for her friend that Anya is dating one of their teachers. She met Lexa in her first year at Arkadia. They were both new and didn’t know anyone back then, so they kind of stuck together and have been friends ever since.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is wearing comfortable jeans, black heals and a blush pink blouse which compliments her skin. She is sitting behind her desk, papers neatly stacked, while she waits for her students to walk in. Her briefcase is next to her on the floor and she can’t help but feel slightly nervous. This first day of school is important. Not only will she get a first impression from her students, they will also get a first impression from her, which can be either good or bad. In the long run she hopes everything will go as smooth as possible.

One by one, the students walk in, although some are slumping and clearly detest the fact that it’s Monday morning.

Clarke decides to wait until they’re all settled. She sees a girl walking in with brown hair, clad in leather pants and a plaid shirt. The girl looks like she couldn’t care less about being here and if that’s true, she hopes she’ll be able to change her mind. There is something about the girl that makes her curious, but she can’t quite place it.

“Good morning, students,” Clarke greets them when they’re all finally sitting down. “I’m Miss Griffin.” She sees that the girl has taken a seat in the back and doesn’t even look at her, which is not a promising start. “Now since this is the first day of this school year and I don’t know all of you yet, how about you all briefly introduce yourselves?” She knows they probably feel too old to do so, but she would like to hear their names. It can be helpful for the students as well, in case there are any new students.

When it’s Lexa’s turn to introduce herself she rolls her eyes because this is childish. She had vaguely listened to other students introducing themselves, but she didn’t care to truly listen. It’s doubtful there would be any new students, and if there are, she isn’t interested. She turns her face to look at her teacher. “Wow, well hello, gorgeous blonde. It looks like heaven lost an angel.”

Octavia’s jaw drops and she nudges Lexa. “What the hell?” she whispers lowly, surprised her friend said that to their teacher. This is not how their first day should begin.

Lexa awkwardly clears her throat when realization sinks in that she said that out loud. Half of the students look shocked, while the other half are cheering. “I’m Lexa and that’s about all there’s to say, unless you want my phone number, then hey, by all means,” she says bluntly and winks at Miss Griffin. Since she already made a rough start, it doesn’t matter to her if she adds more to that.

Clarke is stunned, not believing this is happening on her first day. It looks like she has a rebel in her class. “Lexa, take your seat here in the front, I want to make sure you’re paying attention to my class.”

“More like to your ass,” Lexa mumbles to herself. She should keep her thoughts more to herself, but it’s like Miss Griffin brings it out in her.

“What did you say?”

“I said I like your class, Miss Griffin.”

Clarke makes a mental note to herself to keep a close eye on Lexa. The girl is rude and if she doesn’t nip this behavior in the butt, more students might act out. She will not tolerate this and no, she’s not blushing because Lexa called her gorgeous and an angel. Talk is cheap anyway and the girl is merely trying to get a rise out of her, perhaps because she’s new.

“Settle down, students,” Clarke says sternly, wanting order in her class. “Open your books on the first page.”

Lexa spends the entire class staring at Miss Griffin. She likes her sunshine golden locks and those sparkling blue eyes. Thanks to her previous comments, she’s in the blonde’s vision. What a good way to start her first day of this school year.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When it is lunch break, Lexa is standing in the hall near her locker, pressing Costia against it. She hasn’t seen the girl throughout the summer. The summer has done Costia well, it has brought more of her freckles out, which is kind of cute.

Costia stares into Lexa’s eyes. “You changed, Lex,” she says softly, almost apologetically.

Lexa shakes her head. “I haven’t changed, I’m still me,” she says, disagreeing with Costia. Okay, she may have changed some, but underneath her layers she’s still the same girl she has always been, only tougher. Despite being a bit of a rebel, she has soft edges, which she only shows to those who deserve to see those sides of her. “I’m still the same girl I was before.”

“You weren’t such a rebel before. It’s like you’re seeking out trouble now and it isn’t you.”

“I am who I am and if you don’t like me, then fine,” Lexa grumbles and moves away from Costia. She’s not going to waste any more time if it’s no use. “Last year you were into me and now you barely look at me.” She’s not going to let herself be all hung up on a girl who won’t give her the time of day.

“I’m sorry, Lex.”

“Forget it.”

“Hey, Lex,” Ontari says with a sly grin. “We’re saving you a spot in the cafeteria, you coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there, Ri. Where’s O?”

“She’s already there, waiting for you.”

“Okay, cool,” Lexa replies and looks one last time at Costia. “It’s a shame it didn’t work out, you were sort of cute, oh well.” She gives up and follows Ontari into the school cafeteria. Costia is too much of a good girl anyway and she likes her girls a bit bad.

Octavia smiles when Lexa walks in. She ushers the girl away who had been whispering sweet nothings into her ear. “You made quite the first impression with our new teacher.”

“I wasn’t that bad.”

Ontari laughs at that. “You really were bad, Lex.” She shakes her head and plops down near Octavia. “Ohh, you have grapes, give me one.”

Octavia swats her hand away. “You can only convince me by trading.”

“Boo, you’re supposed to share with your besties,” Ontari replies. She sees Lexa snatching a grape from Octavia’s plate, without her friend complaining or even batting an eye. “Hey, no fair, you let Lex steal from your plate all the time.”

Octavia chuckles and tosses a grape at Ontari, who tries to capture it in her mouth. She holds another one up for Lexa. “Catch it, commander.”

Lexa forces herself not to roll her eyes at the nickname. Her friends have been calling her commander for a few years now, because of how strict and commanding she sounded at times. She’s not the only one with a nickname, all her friends have one, or well, her closest ones at least. Octavia goes by grounder, a name she received after getting constantly grounded due to getting into small trouble, like going home late. Ontari goes by arctic, because of how icy she can be.

Octavia prepares to duck when the grape bounces against Lexa’s forehead and a spoonful of peas is being launched at her.

“You’re both wasting food again,” Ontari notes. “I’m so not going to share my chocolate pudding.”

“As one of your dearest friends, I feel offended,” Octavia says while holding a hand to her chest. “Tsk, you have to treat us better than that, arctic.”

“You can have half of my pudding if I can have a few more of your grapes.”

Lexa pouts slightly. “If O gets half, then what do I get, Ri?” She wouldn’t mind having some of that pudding as well, because it looks delicious. As if she’d ever say no to chocolate.

“Okay, Lex,” Ontari replies and slides it halfway across their table. “We can split it three-way,” she offers, being nice and sharing with her best friends.

Lexa smiles wryly. “I’d like me one of those.”

Ontari shakes her head and laughs. “I’m so not hooking up with you again,” she states dryly, not planning to go there again.

“What?” Octavia asks, thoroughly shocked. “You two hooked up? How don’t I know about this? You bitches are supposed to tell me everything.” She can’t believe those two hooked up behind her back and haven’t told her. They tell each other everything, like they always have.

“It was one time,” Lexa explains calmly. “We went to one of those college parties and got drunk. Stuff happened, no big deal.” It was not much more than a clash of teeth and tongues, which was awkward afterwards since they’re friends.

“When did that happen? How come I wasn’t invited?”

Ontari grins smugly. “You were grounded at the time, so there was no point to invite you.” She recalls how Octavia had landed herself getting grounded for a month and it sucked.

“That’s not a decent excuse. I have a window, I could have climbed out.”

Lexa scoops a spoonful of chocolate pudding into her mouth. She should have known she should have asked Octavia to tag along, despite being grounded. The three of them have a few things in common, one of them being they can be rather lacks when it comes to rules.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Raven is holding out a cup of coffee when Clarke enters the teachers’ lounge. “Hey, how’s your first day going so far?” she asks curiously, hoping it’s not too bad, although the look on her best friend’s face says otherwise. “That bad huh?”

Clarke accepts the cup of coffee from Raven. “It appears I have a rebel in my class, but I’ll deal with it.” She blows into the steamy cup and takes a sip, careful not to burn her tongue. “Have you ever had Lexa in your class? I wonder if it’s simply because I’m new.” She can’t say for sure if Lexa only behaves that way in her class or if the girl does that in every class.

“Ah, Lexa, I see. She’s going through something, could be a phase. You know how I’m dating Anya, right?”

“Yes and I’m happy for you everything has been going so well with Anya.”

“Anya is Lexa’s cousin. They live in the same house,” Raven explains. “Lexa is not happy about me dating Anya, so she has been acting out.”

Clarke sort of gets it now, since Raven is one of Lexa’s teachers as well. “That must be hard on her, to know you’re dating her cousin and then she sees you at school,” she says thoughtfully.

“Perhaps, but it’s not the same as dating someone’s parent. It’s not like I would suddenly be her mother. Anya has yet to tell Lexa I might be moving in though, so be prepared for a ticking time bomb.”

Clarke hopes for Raven’s sake that it doesn’t end on a bad note. Her friend deserves happiness and Lexa should come around about it. “Well, you do like explosions,” she says teasingly to lighten the mood.

“Not that type though,” Raven laughs. “Anyway, how’s Aden doing?”

“He told me he loves me this morning.”

“Awe, that’s so adorable,” Raven says with a smile. “Did he say it in his own cute way again?”

Clarke smiles brightly now that she’s thinking about Aden, the little light in her life. “He did. It was difficult to drop him off at the daycare, but he’s such a brave little guy and he didn’t cry.”

“It helps that Aden has a connection with Niylah. She adores him and oh hey, isn’t she single?”

“Raven, no,” Clarke replies sternly, not liking where Raven is going with this. “I’m not going to date Niylah.”

“Just think about it, she’s good around Aden so it could work out.”

“I told you, Raven, no dating. For now I want to concentrate on my career and my son.”

“Okay, fair enough,” Raven replies, deciding to let it go. She won’t press the matter if Clarke isn’t up for dating anyone. At least she suggested it, so the idea is out there.

 


	2. Unbelievable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa goes to the park after school, where she meets someone. 
> 
> Clarke can barely believe her eyes and ears.

Raven watches as her students trickle in and she can see Lexa briefly looks at her, before looking away again. This is going to be a fun year, if the girl will continue to dislike her. She hopes Lexa’s grades won’t suffer under it, because that would be a shame. Since the girl seems to want to keep it silent that she’s dating Anya, she thinks that perhaps Lexa will behave in her class. All her students need to be treated equally, so she won’t treat the girl differently because she’s dating her cousin.

Lexa sits down in the back, next to Octavia and Ontari, with the intention of sitting in the back for the rest of the school year. She’s never been much of a front row kind of girl anyway, but in Miss Griffin’s class she probably will be, thanks to her big mouth. Not that it’s an issue, because at least she’ll have a good view then.

Octavia knows Lexa pretty much dislikes Raven, because of the whole their teacher dating her cousin situation, but personally she doesn’t mind Miss Reyes. Raven is one of the cool teachers, and those are rare.

“Hello, students,” Raven says as she turns to face her class. “It’s good to see all these old faces again and some new faces as well. I want you all to pick a lab partner, which you will keep for the rest of the year.”

Lexa glances at Octavia and Ontari, unsure of what to do. At moments like this it sucks that they have to choose.

“I’ll team up with Costia,” Octavia says, knowing Lexa likely won’t and Ontari never really liked the girl. “You two can be each other’s lab partner.”

“Are you sure, O?” Lexa asks. She wouldn’t want Octavia to feel left out or anything and it sucks the three of them can’t work together.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s fine,” Octavia replies earnestly. She doesn’t mind having Costia as a lab partner and it’s a plus that girl tends to get good grades. “Yo, Costia, you’re my lab partner,” she calls out to Costia, who is sitting on her own, all shyly.

“Looks like it’s you and me, Ri,” Lexa says, nudging Ontari. She wonders what grade she’ll end up getting for this class. It’s certainly not a class she likes and it’s frustrating that Raven is her teacher. As long as Miss Reyes stays out of her hair, she can try to do the same. “Don’t burn my eyebrows.”

“Hah, last year you burned mine.”

“That was only half of your eyebrows, so that doesn’t count.”

“If you burn them this time, I’ll retaliate, Lex.”

Lexa laughs and shakes her head. “You wouldn’t dare.” Her voice is strong and she raises one eyebrow to make her words stronger.

“Lexa and Ontari,” Raven says. “Stop talking, you are disrupting the class.” She glares at both of them, aware how those two have a lack for rules.

Ontari has a lopsided smile on her face, not caring less for authority. Miss Reyes can reprimand them all she wants they’ll still be who they are.

Lexa barely contains rolling her eyes. “Sure thing, Miss Reyes,” she replies with a fake sweet voice. Ugh, it’s so fake she might throw up. Ontari and she weren’t even interrupting the class all that much.

Raven can’t wait for this day to be over. She knows Anya will likely ask how it went and if Lexa behaved during her class. It can be difficult to say something about the girl, since that only strains their connection more. If she tells her girlfriend how Lexa talked during her class, it would cause drama that she doesn’t need. Anya would reprimand her cousin for it, which would lead to Lexa acting out even more.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa tosses a helmet to Octavia, ready to go drop her friend off before she goes home.

“You’re going home already?” Ontari asks surprised. “We could chill at the park. What do you say?”

“Yeah, I’m up for it,” Lexa replies. She goes home whenever she feels like it anyway, no matter how late it gets. “O, you down?”

“Ugh, I’m supposed to go home directly after school,” Octavia sighs. “Yeah, let’s go to the park.” She wants to hang out with her friends rather than going home already. It’s still early anyway, so it’s no big deal, although she might get grounded again.

Lexa hops on her motorcycle and braces herself for Octavia to climb on. It’s a good thing she works out at times and her friend isn’t that heavy anyway, so she can handle keeping her feet steady while Octavia gets on her motorcycle.

Ontari puts her helmet on and grabs her own motorcycle.

“I wish I’d have a motorcycle,” Octavia huffs. “It sucks that I’m not allowed to have one.” Her mother doesn’t even know Lexa still gives her rides, because according to her mother it’s a coffin on wheels. Once she’s old enough to be on her own, she’ll get one anyway. It’s so not fair Lexa and Ontari have one while she isn’t allowed. Her friends have easier homes, since Lexa lives with her cousin Anya and Ontari lives with her older brother Roan.

“Once we’re a bit older we can look for a place together,” Lexa says assuring Octavia she’ll have a motorcycle someday. She has talked a few times with her best friends about renting a place together once they’re older, so they’re not stuck to rules anymore, even though they don’t pay much mind to rules to begin with. “I’ll help you pick out a good motorcycle someday.”

“Ready to go?” Ontari asks, giving some gas to let her friends know she’s ready to leave.

“I’ll race you,” Lexa replies. She notices Miss Griffin walking over the parking lot, seemingly in a hurry. Maybe tomorrow she’ll actually want to go to school, thanks to her attractive blonde teacher. She wonders why Miss Griffin is in such a hurry, sure leaving school makes people want to hurry, but it’s like the blonde is hurrying to see someone.

When Ontari speeds up, Lexa quickly hurries after her.

Octavia places her hands behind her, slightly leaning back, enjoying how the wind blows through her hair. At first she used to wrap her arms around Lexa’s waist, but she’s long used to it now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke can see Lexa speeding away and she hopes the girl won’t get herself hurt, and of course she hopes Octavia and Ontari won’t get hurt either. It looks dangerous for them to go so fast. From what she’s seeing, they might be racing, which isn’t a wise thing to do. There’s no way she would ever get on a motorcycle, those things are scary and dangerous.

She’s glad school is over, now she can go pick Aden up, who probably had a good day with Niylah and his friends at the daycare. Not seeing her son for all those hours she has been working is hard, but she needs to get used to it. A part of her feels like she’ll never get used to it. She has missed Aden so much and she can’t wait to hug him and tell him how much she loves him.

“Hey, Clarke,” Raven calls out as she runs up to Clarke. “Do you want to eat dinner at my place?”

“That sounds nice, but I have to go pick Aden up.”

“I can walk you, if you don’t mind,” Raven offers. “Once you pick him up, you can follow me to place. I could make spaghetti, Aden loves spaghetti doesn’t he?”

“Well he does like spaghetti,” Clarke admits, knowing Aden likes it. “But I think it’s mostly you who likes it.”

“True, I do like it. So what do you say?”

“Okay, but you have to behave while I pick him up,” Clarke warns. “Don’t try to set me up on a date with Niylah.”

Raven lifts her hands up in surrender. “I’ll behave.” She’s still tempted to try to set Clarke up with someone, but since her friend is so reluctant, she won’t. Niylah seems like a good match, because that woman is wonderful with Aden and Clarke needs someone who will love him as much as her. “How did your first day go? Not too tired?”

“I’m a little bit tired. It’s slightly more draining than I expected it to be,” Clarke admits, having slightly underestimated how it would exhaust her to teach. “Overall it hasn’t been bad. Most students seem polite and behave. I had to reprimand a few, but nothing I couldn’t handle. How about your day?”

“My day was decent. I only really had to reprimand Lexa and Ontari for talking in my class. Other than that everyone behaved.”

“I heard some rumors that you’re one of the cool teachers.”

Raven laughs. “Yeah, some students like the way I teach, but it isn’t for everyone.” She knows Lexa’s clique isn’t a fan of her at all, although she has an inkling Octavia might like her class, but the girl hides it.

“When do you think Anya will tell Lexa you’ll be moving in?”

“I’m not sure, but it should be sometime soon. I already told my landlord I’ll be moving out when the month is over, so Anya has four weeks tops before breaking the news to Lexa.”

“That’s soon. Have you packed anything yet?”

“Yeah,” Raven hums. “I’ve already packed some boxes, but I still have quite a bit of packing to do.”

“I could lend you a hand,” Clarke offers. “Once you move, I can help as well.”

“I appreciate it,” Raven replies grateful. She can use all the help she can get, so she doesn’t have to move everything on her own with Anya. Not that she has all that much stuff, but the more helping hands the faster it goes. “I think Anya will ask Lexa to help, but I’m not going to count on it.”

“She’s a teenager, eventually she’ll come around. We used to be teenagers once too, remember?”

“Ah yeah, I remember our good old days in high school and college. You grew up the fastest though.”

“Well yes, I did.” Clarke knows Raven has a point, because she did grow up quite fast. “When I was pregnant with Aden, I had to make sure I would be responsible.”

“You sure proved you are. I remember how after you had him, you didn’t go to parties anymore and you didn’t drink or anything.”

“I don’t regret the way things went. Aden comes first. Parties and drinking aren’t important.”

“What will you tell him when he grows up?”

Clarke knows what Raven is referring to and she has no idea what she will tell Aden. It will be tough to explain to her son who his other parent is, since she doesn’t know who that would be. “I haven’t thought much about it, but what I do know is that I don’t want to make him feel like he was an accident or a mistake, because he’ll never be anything of the sorts in my eyes. I know getting pregnant was unplanned, but I love Aden. Once he’s old enough, I might tell him it was a donor.” She’s slightly worried that one day, her son will desire a second parent.

“Hmm, I can see why you’d go with that story. It makes sense. I’m sure Aden will always know you love him. You pretty much smother him with love.”

Clarke smiles and enters the day care, where she spots Aden playing with Niylah. “Hey, baby, I’m here,” she calls out to her son, while crouching down and holding her arms open.

Aden turns around, recognizing his mother’s voice and runs into her arms. “Mommy!” he shouts happily and wraps his tiny arms around her neck.

Clarke picks him up and kisses his cheeks. “I missed you so much, my little guy,” she whispers. “I love you.”

“I wove u, mommy.”

“Oh my god, you’re so adorable,” Raven coos. She ruffles Aden’s hair and smiles at him. “Ugh, Clarke, can I have your son? He’s so cute.”

“No, you can’t have my son.”

“Hey, Clarke,” Niylah says while she approaches. “Aden has been really good today. He helped a few of the other children to build a tower with blocks.”

“Hello, Niylah,” Clarke replies. She looks at Aden and presses her nose against his cheek. “You built a tower?” she coos.

“A towel with Ni-Ni.”

Raven pries Aden out of Clarke’s arms. “Hey, Aden. Who’s my favorite kid in the whole wide world?” She places him on her hip, ready to walk out.

Aden smiles at Raven. “Waven,” he says while stretching his arms out.

Clarke chuckles while Raven walks out with Aden. Her son is loved, and not only by her. She waves at Niylah and goes outside, before her friend disappears with Aden.

“Don’t walk so fast, Raven,” Clarke sighs as she hurries to catch up. “Where are you going? That’s the wrong direction.”

“It’s still a bit early for dinner,” Raven replies. “I’m taking Aden to the park to go see the ducks.”

“If you lose my son again, I’ll kill you.”

“I lost him once and it only lasted a minute. Besides, this time you’ll be there too.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa stalks over to a bench at the park, after she parked her motorcycle. She’s smiling while Octavia and Ontari follow her.

“Don’t look so grumpy, arctic,” Octavia teases. “Better luck next time.”

“It wasn’t fair of the commander to take that sharp turn,” Ontari retorts, feeling slightly defeated because she lost the race. “I bet if you’d have a motorcycle, you’d end up being last, grounder.”

“Hah,” Octavia fake laughs. “No way, I bet I could be first.”

Lexa shakes her head. “You can both keep dreaming, but there’s no way you can beat me. I’m a motorcycle champ,” she says, sure of herself. “No matter how much you try, I’ll win.”

Octavia opens her backpack while they sit down. “I’ve got some snacks, want some?” she offers while holding them out to Lexa and Ontari.

“Mhm, thanks,” Ontari replies while accepting one. “You always bring the goods.”

“Course I do.”

Lexa accepts one as well. She leans back on the bench and enjoys the warmth, kissing her skin. “I should have worn a top instead of plaid then I’d be able to get a tan.”

“You already have a tan,” Octavia points out. “Be lucky you can get one, I’m always pale.”

Lexa eats the snack she’s been given. When she’s done, she watches how Ontari drops her plastic on the grass. “No littering our place,” she says with a strict tone. While shaking her head, she picks it up, not wanting their favorite spot to become a mess of garbage. She holds her hand out for Octavia’s plastic as well, so she can toss it in the garbage bin.

“The great commander, friendly for the environment,” Ontari teases. She laughs when Lexa flips her off. It’s typical for her friend to always do that.

Lexa walks away from the bench, to the nearest garbage bin to dispose the plastic. When she turns around, she sees a toddler running directly towards her, clearly not watching where he’s going. The little kid barrels into her and simultaneously, she holds her hands out to steady him, so he wouldn’t fall. “Whoa, little guy, be careful,” she says. “Hmm, where’d you come from?” She picks the kid up and assumes he can’t be older than two at most.

“Aden!”

Lexa looks around, assuming the kid must be Aden. “Let’s see where your parents are,” she says to the kid. “Are you Aden?”

Aden nods.

“Well Aden, I’m Lexa.”

Aden wraps his arms around Lexa’s neck, holding on tight.

“Whoa okay, didn’t your parents teach you not to trust strangers?” Lexa asks, even though she knows she won’t really get an answer. It surprises her how the toddler, Aden apparently, holds on to her while they don’t even know each other. She has to stop her jaw from dropping when Miss Griffin approaches her with a concerned look.

“Oh Aden, I was so worried,” Clarke says. She gulps when she sees her son is clinging to Lexa, her rebel student. “He was with me one second and gone the next.”

Lexa narrows her eyes and nods coolly. “I’m guessing this little guy belongs to you then?”

“Yes, he’s my son,” Clarke replies and stretches her arms out. “Can I have him back now, please?”

Lexa peels Aden’s arms away from her neck and hands him to Miss Griffin. “You should teach him to be wary of strangers, Miss Griffin,” she says calmly.

Clarke can’t believe her ears as she hears Lexa telling her that. “Thank you for finding him, Lexa.” She wants to go away now, because this is awkward.

“He barreled into me,” Lexa says dryly, since she didn’t really find him. “Cute kid though and he’s beautiful, but I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, now does it?” She winks at Miss Griffin, but acts casual when she sees Raven approaching as well. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school, Miss Griffin.” She caresses Aden’s cheek with her index finger for a second. “Bye, cute kid.”

“Bye, Lessa.”

Lexa is glad she just turned around because she’s quite sure she’s blushing right now. She never thought she’d like kids, but that was adorable and made her melt. It’s good to know Miss Griffin has a son, but that means there’s probably someone in the blonde’s life.

Clarke is speechless about what just happened. It is unbelievable Lexa made a comment towards her again, so shameless and she can barely believe Aden said bye to the girl.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah Lexa has a soft side. :)


	3. First lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was a bit distracted yesterday so I didn't update, but I finished the chapter now, so here it is. :)

“Did I just saw Lexa holding Aden?” Raven asks, baffled. “What did she say?”

“Aden barreled into her,” Clarke explains. “She didn’t say much.” She doesn’t feel like relying everything to Raven word for word, especially not since her friend is dating Anya, who is Lexa’s cousin. There’s no point to possibly get the girl into trouble. “I’m glad Aden is okay.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Raven apologizes. “He was right next to us one moment and then he wasn’t. He’s getting fast.” She should have kept a closer eye on him, but it all happened in the blink of an eye.

“It was my fault as well.” Clarke feels bad that she lost Aden for a moment, because she’s supposed to be responsible for him and he could have gotten hurt. Lexa may be a bit of a rebel, but she seemed kind towards Aden. “Spaghetti at your place then?”

“I knew you’d want my awesome spaghetti.”

Truthfully Clarke just wants to leave the park, because she can still see Lexa staring, along with Octavia and Ontari who are looking at her as well. She wonders if their clothes are a part of their rebellion. Lexa looks nice with her black leather pants, black and grey plaid and those combat boots. Octavia seems to be fan from some sort of band from which she’s wearing a shirt along with black jeans. Ontari apparently has a thing for spikes. During her class she noticed clearly those three stick together.

Aden smiles when he wraps his arms around his mother’s neck. He sees Lexa on a bench and waves at her.

“Aden can help me to taste my tomato sauce,” Raven says. “He’s going to get his face covered with sauce again, like last time,” she adds, giggling a little.

“That wasn’t so funny, Raven,” Clarke counters. “He even had sauce in his hair. I don’t know what you do to my son sometimes.”

“Aw come on, Clarke, Aden loves me.”

“Maybe so, but he loves me the most,” Clarke retorts. “I’m his favorite.”

“Well that’s just not fair. You’re his mother, so of course you’re his favorite. I call dibs on being his second favorite though.”

“I have a newsflash for you, Raven. I’m quite sure Niylah is his second favorite.”

“Yet you still don’t ask the woman out,” Raven quips, wondering why Clarke is being so stubborn about dating. “If you’d date someone, it can be easy now that Aden is still little. For all he knows, he can grow up thinking your other half is his other parent.”

Clarke can see which logic Raven is trying to point out, but she doesn’t want to date someone for the sake of offering Aden a second parent and letting him grow up with that idea. If she likes someone at some point, she will see where things go. Niylah is kind and sweet, and yes, she is good with Aden, but that doesn’t mean she wants to date her. To date someone it is important they would get along with her son, but that doesn’t mean she will date just anyone who’s sweet around Aden.

“Dating Niylah would be like dating Aden’s babysitter and I don’t think I want that, Raven,” Clarke finally replies, sighing deeply. “So for the last time, you should drop it because it won’t happen.”

“Not even one date to see how you feel then?”

“Raven,” Clarke groans, not interested to keep hearing about this. She’s not planning to date Niylah and that’s final. Raven needs to let it go.

“Okay fine,” Raven relents. “I’ll shut up.”

“Finally.”

“Hey, I’m your best friend, that’s fucking rude.”

“Raven! Don’t curse when Aden can hear you, I don’t want him to pick up words like that.”

“Right, sorry,” Raven apologizes. “My bad.” She knows she has to watch her language around Aden and usually she does, but she slipped up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Octavia has a shit eating grin when Lexa returns to their bench. “Does Miss Griffin have a kid?” she asks, referring to the toddler that ran into her friend.

“Yup, she does,” Lexa answers dryly, not bothering to explain much. She shrugs a bit and sits down. It sucked that Raven was around as well otherwise she could have said more to Miss Griffin. If she makes the comments she does with Raven around, then it won’t take long for Anya to know and she doesn’t want that.

“Yikes kids,” Ontari comments, never having been a fan of children. “That kid wasn’t looking where he was running at all.” She saw how he completely ran into Lexa, all clumsy, sloppy and young.

“Miss Griffin doesn’t look so old to be having a kid,” Octavia says, slightly surprised Miss Griffin has a child. “I bet she’s easily our youngest teacher, maybe mid-twenties at most.”

Lexa purses her lips when she sees Aden waving at her. Feeling unsure of what to do, she winks at him, because if she waves her friends won’t shut up about it. She knows Octavia and Ontari well enough. When she sees Aden’s lips curling downwards into a pout, she quickly looks away. She’s not going to let a child manipulate her to wave. A wink is more than most get.

Ontari nudges Octavia’s leg with her foot. “How’s it like to have Costia as your lab partner?” She asks curiously. “I bet you’ll be stuck with her for the rest of the year now.”

“Eh, she’s not that bad,” Octavia replies with a shrug, not disclosing that she likes Miss Reyes’ class and that it’s good Costia gets good grades all the time. “I’ll live with it.”

“You took one for the team.”

Octavia laughs. “This means you both owe me, bitches.” She definitely plans to claim something for it in the near future.

“Ugh okay, next time I slip into a college party, I’ll take you with me.”

“I can live with that. What about you, Lex?”

“You seemed shocked Ri and I made out once at a college party. I can make out with you and call it even.”

Octavia’s eyes widen. “Are you serious?” She asks, shocked and unsure if Lexa means it. Sometimes her friends joke around and other times they’re serious, but she knows Lexa has got a reputation as a lady-killer, so it might be a genuine offer.

Ontari grins and burst out in laughter when she sees Lexa smiling, while Octavia looks close to horrified. “Good one, Lex.” She holds her hand up to high-five her friend. “O was totally buying it.”

“Hey, I was not,” Octavia defends herself. “I wasn’t sure.”

“I give you rides on my motorcycle, so I’d say that makes us even,” Lexa points out. “If it’s really that annoying for you to be stuck with Costia as a lab partner, you can take my motorcycle for a spin.”

Octavia smiles and holds the palm of her hand out. “Gimme your keys.” She wants to take Lexa up on that offer right now, especially since her friend might change her mind later, knowing Lexa’s motorcycle is her pride.

Lexa fishes her keys out of her pocket and slams them into the palm of Octavia’s hand. “One round and be back in five minutes. If you crash it, I’ll cut you,” she says warningly. Friends or not, if there’s even as much as a scratch on her motorcycle, Octavia will pay for it and not only with money.

Ontari watches on in disbelief as Octavia runs along with a big smile on her face. “I can’t believe you’re actually letting her ride your motorcycle. I’ve literally seen you threatening to cut people’s fingers off for touching your motorcycle.”

“O knows what’s at stake if she crashes my motorcycle or something,” Lexa replies coolly, not bothered by Octavia borrowing her motorcycle for a bit. “And she’s our cute friend, so that helps.” Even though her friend tries to be tough, she sees Octavia as cute.

Ontari grins devilishly. “Her mother would freak out if she’d see O riding your motorcycle. I bet she’d be grounded for the rest of the year.” She can picture Octavia’s mother popping a vein.

“Good, let’s hope she stops by her house then.”

“You’re so evil, Lex. I’m digging it.”

“I’m not half bad.”

“Who are you going to date this time? Seen anyone interesting? I still can’t believe you hooked up with Costia last year. She’s such a nerd and you can easily get half of the school.”

Lexa doesn’t mind nerds and she doesn’t need to date a rebel. It might lead to conflicts if she’d date a rebel, since someone has to keep her balanced. “I don’t think I’ll go for a high school girl this year. I’d rather have someone a little older.”

“Ah college girls,” Ontari replies knowingly. “Yeah, I’d like one of those. I think O is going to hook up with that chick that was kissing her neck in the cafeteria.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Lexa says, disagreeing. “She’s been pining after Atom.” Octavia seems to be into Atom, which she doesn’t understand, but that’s simply because she’s a lesbian and guys don’t appeal to her at all, not even in the slightest.

Octavia runs back, out of breath and tosses Lexa her keys back. “That was fucking awesome!” She shouts, thrilled because her friend allowed her to do that. “If you ever owe me any favors again, I’m all up for borrowing your motorcycle.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Anya is relieved when Lexa finally comes home. She had been waiting for her and dinner was starting to get cold.

Lexa wordlessly sits down at the kitchen table and picks up her fork. From the look on Anya’s face she can tell the food is likely cold and that her cousin had been waiting for her. Hanging out at the park with Octavia and Ontari has been nice, and having a cute kid barreling into her was a nice plus. It sure helps that Aden is Miss Griffin’s son, but then again, there must be someone in the blonde’s life.

“I have to tell you something, Lexa,” Anya says, deciding to bring it up now, since she has already been waiting to tell Lexa and telling her at the last moment wouldn’t seem right.

“Hmm, what?”

“Raven will be moving in with us at the end of the month.”

Lexa drops her cutlery. “You’re kidding, right?” She asks, hoping Anya isn’t being serious right now, although her cousin looks quite serious and rarely jokes about anything. “Why?”

“I’m not kidding,” Anya replies calmly. “Raven and I have been together for a while and we decided it’s time for her to move in with me, so we can live together.” She has a good feeling about her future with Raven and can see herself marrying her one day.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit fast?”

“Listen, Lexa, Raven will be moving in by the end of the month, period,” Anya replies with a stern voice, not planning to argue about this. “Whether you like it or not, it’s happening.”

Lexa sighs and knows it would be futile to even try and change Anya’s mind. Her cousin is completely hooked on Raven for some reason. They’re so gross together and okay fine, just because Raven will be moving in doesn’t mean she has to like it. Once she’s a bit older she’ll be moving out anyway. When she graduates high school, she might go to college where she’ll live in a dorm and after that she’ll look for a place with Octavia and Ontari.

“It would be nice if you’d help to move some boxes,” Anya says, knowing Raven and she can use all the extra hands they can get. “For now we don’t have much help yet.”

“I already have plans,” Lexa half-lies. She’s not fully lying since she often hangs out with Ontari and Octavia, or even with others. It doesn’t interest her to help Raven moving in.

“Raven was going to ask Clarke to help and I’m asking you. It’s only one weekend at the end of this month. I’m your cousin, Lexa. You refuse to help out your family?”

Lexa would help Anya with a thing or two, but helping Raven moving in is not one of those things. “Who is Clarke?” She asks, assuming it must be a friend of Raven or something. Maybe it’s some type of muscled guy.

“Clarke is Raven’s friend,” Anya explains and realizes Lexa knows Clarke only as a teacher. “Miss Griffin,” she clarifies.

“Oh.” Now that Lexa thinks of it, that makes sense since Raven and Miss Griffin were in the park together. It’s interesting to know the blonde’s name now and perhaps she can pull some more information from Anya. “Maybe Clarke’s partner can help,” she suggests it as casually as possible.

“I don’t think Clarke has a partner,” Anya replies, recalling how Raven told her about Clarke who is a single mother. “It would be nice if you’d help out, Lexa.”

“Fine,” Lexa huffs. “I’ll help.” It’s interesting to know Clarke doesn’t have a partner. It puzzles her, since Miss Griffin has a son. Perhaps Clarke is divorced or broke up with Aden’s father or whatever else it is.

Anya is pleased that Lexa will be helping out and that her cousin didn’t turn it into a big argument. Raven will appreciate the extra help and perhaps over time, her girlfriend and Lexa can bond a bit. It would be nice if they would get along.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke watches on as her students leave her class, which thankfully went quite well. Every once in a while she had to silence a student or reprimand slightly, but all in all, it has been okay. She frowns when she sees Lexa is rummaging through her backpack, rather than getting up and leaving. It makes her wonder if the brunette is looking for something.

Lexa closes her backpack and takes her time to walk over to Miss Griffin’s desk, glad to see all the other students have left. Next time they should leave a bit faster, so she doesn’t need to sit there, ruffling through her backpack.

Clarke places her hands on top of her desk and looks up at Lexa. “Can I help you with something, Lexa?” She asks, wondering if perhaps the brunette has a question about what she has been teaching.

“I’m struggling to understand your teachings,” Lexa blatantly lies, having no trouble with Miss Griffin’s teachings whatsoever. “I suppose I could leave it be and flunk, but it would be a shame to flunk your class, _Clarke_.” A smile tugs at the corner of her lips when Clarke gasps.

Clarke quickly clears her throat, trying to compose herself. “How do you know my name?” She whispers, wondering how Lexa can know that, since she hasn’t shared her name and she wouldn’t share her name with a student. Not that her name is an important secret, but sharing it wouldn’t be in her plans. “You should call me Miss Griffin.”

“Raven is dating my cousin,” Lexa replies casually, aware Clarke probably knows that already. “Okay, Miss Griffin. Well, I guess I should go to my next class. Will you be teaching here again next year? Flunking wouldn’t be fun, but on the plus side, I’ll see you again for another year after this one.” She knows she’s stacking lie after lie and she hopes Clarke will fall right into her trap.

Clarke tries to ignore the fact that Lexa knows her name. If the brunette will call her Miss Griffin here at school and be respectful, then there won’t be an issue. It had taken her by surprise so much that she forgot Lexa is approaching her due to not comprehending her teachings. “You believe you would flunk my class, Lexa?”

Lexa tries to slip back to who she usually is. “You know what? Forget about it," she says abruptly. “Who cares about grades anyway?” She turns around, ready to walk out and leave it at that, slinging her backpack nonchalantly over one shoulder, seemingly careless.

“Lexa, wait,” Clarke rushes to say. The grades of her students are important and she can’t ignore the fact Lexa tried to seek out help, so she can’t let the brunette walk out and dismiss it all.

Lexa smiles mischievously while standing with her back towards Miss Griffin. She purses her lips together and turns around. “What?” She asks, snarling, wanting to sound annoyed.

Clarke knits her eyebrows together at the tone of Lexa’s voice. “Your grade matters. I wouldn’t want to see you flunking my class,” she says earnestly, wanting all of her students to pass. “I suggest you get a tutor.”

“Miss Griffin, with all due respect,” Lexa begins with a slightly icy tone. She steps closer towards Clarke’s desk and places her hands on it, flattening them. “I wouldn’t want some other student to tutor me, because that might be screwy and who’s to say they’d tutor me right? So thanks, but no thanks that would be a waste of my time.” She pulls her hands away and walks up to the door.

“I can tutor you, Lexa,” Clarke offers. “Your grade is important.”

Lexa sighs deeply and pinches the bridge of her nose, but inwardly she’s glad her plan worked. “Fine, I’ll give you a chance to tutor me. When?”

Clarke writes her address down on a piece of paper and walks up to Lexa, handing it to her. “You can come over to my place after school.” If other students struggle as well, she can do the same for them. It’s not prohibited by the school to tutor a student and she can only truly tutor at her place, since she needs to watch Aden at the same time.

Lexa crumbles the piece of paper and slips it into her pocket. “Yeah whatever, bye,” she says coldly and walks away, to go to her next class.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is tricky and sneaky. 
> 
> Clarke is clueless.


	4. Tutoring session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa goes to Clarke's house to get tutored.

Octavia is relieved when their day is finally over. She walks up towards Lexa, ready to catch a ride. Today she thought a lot about yesterday, when her friend had allowed her to take her motorcycle for a spin. It had felt so great and she loved the way the wind blew through her hair, wild and free. Catching rides with Lexa is great too, but not as satisfying as it was to personally ride a motorcycle.

Lexa shakes her head when Octavia walks up to her. “Ri, can you give O a ride this time?” She asks, knowing she can’t because she’ll be going to Miss Griffin’s place to be tutored, which Octavia and Ontari don’t know about. For now it’s something she’ll definitely keep to herself, since they’re not the type to get a tutor. When one of them gets a bad grade, they simply shrug and don’t care.

Octavia frowns. “You always give me a ride, Lex.” She’s used to ride with Lexa all the time, and not with Ontari, so it’s odd to her that it’s different this time.

“Not today, grounder,” Lexa replies curtly. “I’ll see you both tomorrow at school.”

Ontari passes a helmet on to Octavia. “Hop on, O,” she says, tapping the space behind her.

“See you tomorrow, bitch,” Octavia says with a smile to Lexa. She climbs onto Ontari’s motorcycle, wrapping her arms around her friend’s waist.

“See ya, commander,” Ontari says with a wink, ready to take off. Lexa is probably going to meet up with some chick, possibly a college girl. It wouldn’t surprise her if her friend would do that, especially not after their talk at the park yesterday.

“I’ll message you both later,” Lexa promises. She settles down on her motorcycle and takes off without another word, on her way to Miss Griffin’s place. It’s unnecessary to be tutored for Clarke’s class, but she wants to spend some time with her, to see what Miss Griffin is like.

“Okay, cool,” Ontari replies, laughing lightly because Lexa can’t hear her anymore. Geez, her friend sure is eager to go somewhere. “Alright, O, off we go. Hold on tight, because I’m not going to slow down.”

“Give me all you got, Ri.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke opens her door when the doorbell rings and as expected, it’s Lexa, although she wasn’t quite sure if the brunette would show up after she had accepted her address so carelessly. “Hello, Lexa,” she says while stepping out of the way so Lexa can step inside.

“Hello, Miss Griffin,” Lexa replies formally, choosing to act like a regular student. She waits patiently for Clarke to invite her in, even though she can see the blonde has stepped out of the way, silently indicating she may enter.

Clarke notices Lexa’s hesitation to enter. “You can come inside, Lexa,” she says while waving her hand to emphasize her words.

Lexa keeps her lips pursed while she enters Clarke’s apartment. Her eyes don’t leave the blonde as the door is being closed and when Clarke walks, she follows her. Anya probably thinks she’s spending time with Ontari and Octavia, which she would have been doing if she wouldn’t have been here right now. It’s possible her cousin will find out, since Raven is friends with Miss Griffin. Even if so, it’s not a bad thing. Anya will be happy that she seems to care about her grades and not question possible other motives.

Clarke points towards her couch where Lexa can sit. “Do you want something to drink?” She asks, since she’s going to get herself some water anyway.

Lexa can think of certain things she would like to drink. A glass of wine, some beer, champagne, yeah those sorts of things, but it is doubtful Clarke would give her alcohol. “Anything is fine,” she replies, shrugging.

Clarke walks up to her kitchen to get water for them both. She hears Lexa opening her backpack, taking her book out. Perhaps if she can get through to the brunette, others such as Ontari and Octavia may follow, which would benefit everyone. She wants her students to do well.

Clarke opens her refrigerator, reaching for a bottle of water. She recently got home, barely five minutes before Lexa arrived at her place. It’s new for her to tutor someone, but so is teaching and so far her first two days went without any problems. There was a small hiccup here and there, although not something she should be worried about. Hopefully having Aden around won’t be too difficult to tutor, but she knows her son is a sweet little angel.

Right before Lexa had arrived, she placed Aden down in the kitchen with a few toys. Now that she walked into her kitchen, she left her door open. She grabs two clean glasses from her cupboard and fills them up with water. If she tutors Lexa for an hour, she can cook her dinner afterwards and at the same time it will ensure the brunette is going home on time to have dinner as well.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is sitting on Clarke’s couch, placing her book on the table in front of her when she feels a small hand on her leg. She turns her face, knowing exactly who the hand belongs to. “Hello, Aden,” she whispers to the smiling kid. “Do you remember me? Lexa.”

Aden places his other hand down on Lexa knee as well. “Lessa,” He coos happily, smiling brighter. “Up.” He holds his arms out, reaching out to Lexa. “Lessa, up.”

Lexa smiles at the adorable little guy. “Okay, fine, come here you cute little cupcake,” she coos while picking Aden up and plopping him down on the couch next to her. If she thought that would have been enough, she was thoroughly mistaken.

Aden crawls on his hands and knees, on top of Lexa’s lap, wriggling himself between her arms.

“You have some nerve,” Lexa whispers quietly. She can hear Clarke in the kitchen, putting glasses down. “You must think you’re really cute, huh?” She places Aden on her right knee and holds one arm around his tiny body so he won’t fall.

Aden giggles when Lexa bounces her leg.

“You’re going to grow up to be quite the lady charmer, or boys, who knows,” Lexa says thoughtfully, thinking about how it’s all possible. “All they have to do is look at you and they’ll melt. I won’t melt though, oh no, your little cuteness factor won’t get through to me. You with your toothy innocent smile and your chubby cheeks.” She stops talking when she hears Clarke returning.

Clarke is surprised to find Aden sitting on Lexa’s lap. “I hope water is okay,” she says as she places the glasses down on the table. It puzzles her how the brunette doesn’t say a word while her son plays with a lock of her hair. She sits down on her couch, ready to tutor Lexa.

Lexa can feel Clarke’s gaze on her and clears her throat. “This isn’t what it looks like,” she hurries to say, not wanting this to look like as if she’s being cute with Aden.

“Let me guess, Aden magically managed to barrel onto your lap?”

Lexa slightly opens her mouth, not having expected Clarke would tease her, but she quickly composes herself and clenches her jaw. When she hears Miss Griffin chuckling, it does something to her. “I have opened my book where your class today had begun.”

“Okay, that’s good,” Clarke replies, turning her attention to the book now. She had hoped to break some of the tension and to break whatever ice caps Lexa has around her, which make the brunette be so aloof. “I’ll explain everything again, and if there’s a part you don’t understand, you can tell me and then I’ll go over it again in more detail, okay?”

Lexa responds by nodding. While Clarke explains what she already knows, she grasps Aden’s hand that was tangled in her hair, bringing it down to his lap. Her hair is not to play with, well not in that sense anyway. She can feel the kid turning around, not sitting still. Out of concern that he’ll fall if he keeps shifting, she draws Aden closer to her chest and lightly rests her chin on his head.

Clarke is reading through a page in the book, explaining every bit, hoping Lexa will understand it. In a week or so, she plans to give a test and it would be great if all her students pass it, although that may be wishful thinking. When she looks at the brunette for a second to see if she understands it, she’s surprised to see Aden is snuggled up closer to Lexa.

Lexa arches her eyebrow when Clarke stops explaining and simply stares at her. “Is something wrong?” She asks plainly, trying not to be rude.

“Have you ever babysat any children?” Clarke asks curiously, since Lexa seems comfortable with Aden and given the brunette must be about seventeen, it wouldn’t be so strange.

Lexa’s first response is to laugh, because seriously, she and children? Ha, no. Children aren’t her thing, they’re little machines with boogers that need to be fed and who cry a lot. She wouldn’t even watch anyone’s pet, so let alone someone’s child. It confuses her how Clarke frowns. “Oh, you’re serious? No, I haven’t babysat any children.” She slips her mask back on and tries to look disinterested.

Clarke doesn’t know what to think when she sees Aden standing up on Lexa’s lap, stumbling and about to fall, when the brunette in the blink of an eye wraps her arms around him, preventing him from falling. At the very least Lexa is gentle with Aden, so the brunette has potential to be a babysitter, although there are other factors that play a role as well for someone to be a decent babysitter.

Lexa lifts Aden up and carefully places him down onto the floor, so he can play with his toys. “How old is he?” She asks, seeing Clarke isn’t continuing to tutor her right now. This might as well be the moment then to ask some questions and perhaps fair too, since the blonde just asked her one.

“Aden will be two soon.”

“You don’t look old,” Lexa says earnestly. “Did you have him while you were in college?”

Clarke is slightly taken aback by that question. “I’m twenty-six,” she replies calmly, assuming that isn’t old indeed, but still, she certainly is old enough to be a teacher. “I was pregnant with Aden during my last year in college.”

“That must have been difficult with your studies and everything. Plus, college kids tend to party a lot. I’m guessing you weren’t exactly drinking back then.”

“It was quite difficult, but I managed. I didn’t drink back then and I still prefer not to.”

“I can’t even imagine what that’s like.”

Clarke is expecting the next obvious question, where Aden’s father would be. It’s what people tend to ask her once they find out she has a son and so far Lexa hasn’t asked yet, but given what she has been asked, it’s bound to happen.

Lexa takes notice of Clarke’s sudden silence, which gives her an idea what the blonde might be thinking.  “Could you explain page fifteen to me? I don’t quite understand it,” she lies, simply wanting to change the topic and getting back to the tutoring that she doesn’t need.

Clarke snaps out of her daze, not used to people not asking her about Aden’s other parent. “Yes, page fifteen.” She skims through the page, thinking about the easiest way to explain it to Lexa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Mommy,” Aden whines while stretching his arms out to be picked up.

Clarke lifts Aden up and places him on her lap. She knows tutoring won’t be ideal with her son, but this is the best she can do. If it would be too difficult, she will help Lexa to find a different tutor.

“I should go,” Lexa says feeling like Clarke should spend time with Aden now who seems hungry. “I understand it better now, thanks for your time.” She takes her phone out of her pocket to check her messages.

 

 **Grounder:** We’re at the park, going skateboarding. You coming or what?

 **Arctic:** Get your ass over here, commander. Grounder already fell twice that klutz.

 **Grounder:** I fell once cuz I tripped, but the second time was because of a cute girl, sue me for having eyes.

 

Clarke checks her watch and sees that it hasn’t been an hour yet, but if Lexa wants to go she has no power to tell her otherwise. It feels like the brunette is leaving because of Aden, which is understandable but not necessary.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school, Miss Griffin,” Lexa says respectively as she types a quick text to Octavia and Ontari, before pocketing her phone again. “Perhaps you can tutor me again some other time?”

“In the weekend would be easier, if that suits you,” Clarke replies thoughtfully. “I can have someone babysit Aden in the weekend.”

Lexa doesn’t feel bothered by having Aden around, because he’s a cute kid and she doesn’t even need to be tutored so Aden can be distracting all he wants. “That’s not necessary, he’s no trouble.”

“If you want, you can come over Saturday around two in the afternoon for another tutoring session,” Clarke suggests. It could help Lexa prepare for the test she will be giving all her students soon, for which she hopes they will get good marks.

Lexa thinks about Clarke’s suggestion and doesn’t exactly like it. Her weekends are always spent with Octavia and Ontari, sometimes others as well. Friday night she’s probably going out, so going somewhere so early on a Saturday afternoon is not an option. “Well actually,” she says as she takes a step closer towards the blonde. “Saturday evening would be better. We could order pizza or Chinese if you’d like.” She stops, standing right in front of Clarke now.

Clarke swallows hard as Lexa’s deodorant hits her and she realizes the young girl is standing close, too close. “I hope you’re not suggesting what I think you are suggesting, Lexa,” she says as calmly as possible, hoping her voice sounds steady.

A playful smile appears on Lexa’s face. “You can think whatever you want to think. See it the way you want to see it,” she says bluntly, adding a wink. “Saturday evening at six then?” Clarke should be pleased she would come over on a Saturday evening, because she’s fickle about spending her evenings with people who aren’t her friends. “And the food is because I would like to have some dinner, you know? Or well at least, that’s me. I could skip dessert, but skipping dinner wouldn’t be healthy.”

Clarke mentally scolds herself for what she said. Of course they would need to eat some dinner. “Okay, Lexa, Saturday evening at six,” she replies, taking a step back to put more distance between them.

Lexa nods and grabs her backpack, ready to head out so she can meet up with Octavia and Ontari who are waiting for her. They’ll probably wonder where she has been and she’s not sure what she’ll tell them yet.

“Lessa!” Aden calls out. He runs up to Lexa and wraps his arms around one of her legs.

“Aden, sweetie,” Clarke says softly as she crouches down next to Aden. “Mommy is going to make you some food.” She holds her arms out, hoping he will let go of Lexa now, who must be irritated at this point.

Lexa looks down at Aden, who is looking up at her with a gleeful smile. It’s endearing how his smile brightens more when she bends down to pick him up. She gives Aden a hug, feeling a bit awkward about hugging a child. “Bye, Aden,” she whispers.

“Bye, Lessa.”

Lexa puts Aden down again. When she looks up, her eyes meet Clarke’s. “Your son is quite the charmer. I can see who he gets it from.” She winks, opens the door and walks out.

 **Grounder:** It is lame being here without you. Bitch, what’s taking you so long anyway?

 **Commander:** Learn how to skateboard, loser.

 **Grounder:** Love ya too! As if you wouldn’t fall if you’d see a cute girl. One time your knee was bleeding because you were thirsty as fuck.

 **Arctic:** There’s a girl here and she looks like your type. It’s a booknerd, like Costia. Get your ass over here!

 **Commander:** Calm your tits, I’ll be there soon.

 **Arctic:** If you’re not here in five minutes I’ll be all over her.

 **Commander:** Knock yourself out.

 **Grounder:** The commander saying no to a girl? Damn, who got your ass whipped?

 **Commander:** One more word and you’ll be walking your ass to school instead of riding with me.

 **Arctic:** Ay, she ran away from me.

 **Commander:** Should I be surprised?

 **Grounder:** Ha, Ri that derp. ‘Hey sexy, come here often? Cuz I can show you around.’

 **Arctic:** At least I didn’t fall on my fucking face!

 **Commander:** I’ll be there in five. Don’t scare any more girls away you two.

 **Arctic:** Now you’re speaking our language again ;)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are a bit slower now, because I've been distracted and have other things going on. 
> 
> I'll try to update at least once a week. :)


	5. Place your bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this update took forever. Better late than never though. :)

Lexa grins when she arrives at the park and sees Octavia and Ontari leaning against a bench with their skateboards, a third already awaiting her.

“There you are,” Octavia says when she spots Lexa. “Four minutes, not bad.” She’s impressed, but not surprised because she knows her friend and Lexa is fast.

“Told you I’d be here in five,” Lexa replies, feeling pleased with how fast she is. When she’s on her motorcycle, it’s like gliding over the streets, like she becomes one with it.

Octavia passes the third skateboard on to Lexa. “Show us what you got, commander,” she says, adding a wink. “Ri, who are you staring at?” She asks when she sees Ontari staring at someone. Wanting to look for herself, she turns around.

Lexa’s attention is caught as well, so she takes a look. “Isn’t she in our class?” She asks while looking at the girl they’re now all staring at.

“Yeah, she is,” Ontari replies, licking her lips. “Luna.”

“Yup,” Octavia chimes in, recognizing the girl. “I heard she’s gay.” She picked up some rumors here and there, but that’s all she knows.

“Dibs.”

Octavia and Ontari turn their eyes towards Lexa, both raising one eyebrow.

Ontari’s lips twist into a smirk. “I’ll give you ten dollars if you can get her phone number,” she says, daring Lexa to get Luna’s phone number.

“I bet Lex can totally get her number,” Octavia says, sure of Lexa’s skills. “Ten dollar she gets it.”

“Prepare to lose twenty dollars, Ri,” Lexa says teasingly yet confidently. She places her skateboard down and jumps on it, making her way towards Luna.

Octavia and Ontari watch from a distance to see what Lexa will do and how it’ll go.

Lexa bumps into Luna on purpose. “Oh my, how clumsy of me.” She smiles briefly at the girl and whips her skateboard up with her foot. “Wait, you’re in my class,” she says casually. “Luna, right?”

“Yes, that’s me,” Luna replies with half a smile. “And you’re the famous Lexa.”

“Famous, eh?” Lexa asks, partly surprised and partly not surprised at all. She does have quite the reputation being the rebel she is. “You’ve heard about me then.”

Luna smiles a bit brighter. “I believe the whole school has heard about you.”

“Do you like motorcycles?”

“Hell yes, they’re awesome.”

Lexa winks at Luna, pleased to hear the girl say that. “Now you’re speaking my lingo.” She fishes her phone out of her pocket. “How about you give me your number and I’ll take you for a ride sometime, does that sound any good?”

Luna doesn’t hesitate to take Lexa’s phone and type her number in it. She’d be a fool to reject the most desired girl in their entire school. “There you go.” She hands Lexa her phone back.

Lexa pockets her phone again, pleased to have Luna’s number and to be ten dollars richer soon. Ontari has got to step up her game, because this was way too easy, but hey if her friend likes to lose money, then she’s all for it. “I’ll see you around, Lu,” she says dryly, putting her skateboard down again. “You can call me Lex if you’d like.”

“Cool,” Luna replies with a smile, knowing Lexa only lets her friends call her that. “I’ll see you, Lex.”

Lexa skateboards her way back to Ontari and Octavia. “Cough it up, Ri,” she teases, holding her hand out. “A bet is a bet.”

Ontari groans and reaches for her wallet, handing ten dollars to Lexa and another ten to Octavia. “That went way too easy. I bet Luna is eager to get it on with you.”

“You should have known that already,” Octavia says, cutting in. “Even some of the straight girls said they wouldn’t mind spending some quality time with Lex, if you know what I mean.”

Lexa waves that last comment off. “They’re just in denial. As for actual straights, that’s too messy. They play curious little games and it doesn’t pan out well.” She wouldn’t waste her time on straight girls, because that’s a recipe for disaster. “I bet O can score a phone number before you can, Ri,” she says as she waves the ten dollars she won from Ontari around. “Bet you ten dollars.”

“Fuck, you’re on,” Ontari replies confidently, prepared to win her money back. “O, you down for that bet?”

“Yeah bitch, you’re going down.”

“Ha, you wish.”

“Ten dollar says I can get a phone number before you can.” Octavia grabs her wallet and teases Ontari with the ten dollars she recently won. “This will look even better when I win ten more dollars from you.”

Lexa is amused by all of this. Even if Ontari wins, she’d just be winning back the money she lost and not gain anything. If she loses, Octavia and she will be another ten dollars richer. Either way, she won’t be losing any money. It’s tough to say who would score a phone number first, since it depends on the crowd. Ontari is rougher, blunter and abrupt, while Octavia can play herself off as innocent and sweet.

Ontari makes her way to the first girl she sees, not wasting any time to win the bet. “Hey, I lost my number, can I have yours?” She asks bluntly, cutting directly to it.

Octavia laughs when the girl Ontari approached hurries to get away. She walks up to a girl who is rollerblading, her hair in a ponytail, looking far too innocent. “Hi, I’m Octavia,” she introduces herself with a warm smile. “I noticed you rollerblading. It’s a good day for that. Personally I skateboard way more than I rollerblade, but I enjoy both. Have you ever tried to skateboard?”

“I’m not good at it,” the girl replies shyly, smiling a bit and avoiding looking into Octavia’s eyes.

Octavia smiles and tries to seek out eye contact. “I could teach you sometime, if you’d like. It’s easy to pick up, really. Well at first I used to fall a lot, but hey, I’ll hold your hand and it’ll be okay.” She’s pleased to see the girl blushing even more. “I can text or call you if you give me your phone number. We could have a milkshake or a smoothie afterwards.”

“Are y-you asking me… out? On… a date?”

Octavia is endeared by the girl’s shyness. “As a matter of fact, I am.” She hopes her clothes don’t scare the girl too much, because she’s really not that scary at all, although she’s a bit of a rebel. “Here, you can type your number in my phone.”

The girl accepts Octavia’s phone with shaky hands. “I erm…”

“Are you okay?” Octavia asks, getting concerned now because she has never seen anyone this nervous about being asked out.

“I… forgot…” The girl stutters. “I forgot my phone number.”

Octavia feels herself melting on the inside. “How about you give me your phone and I’ll send a text to myself, then I have your number and you’ll have mine. That sound any good?”

The girl nods and hands her phone to Octavia.

Octavia smiles and sends herself a quick text with the girl’s phone. “You have a beautiful smile,” she whispers, but realizes that’s not helping when the girl blushes harder and appears visibly more nervous. Deep down she feels a bit for this girl and bet or not, she will take her out on a date sometime. It would be cruel to leave the girl hanging.

Lexa is laughing out loud when Ontari groans and hands ten more dollars to Octavia and ten more to her. “You were being way too blunt, Ri.”

Octavia had been too occupied with the shy girl to pay attention to Ontari after she had been turned down for the first time. “How many girls did you approach?” She asks curiously, wanting to know.

“Just a few,” Ontari mumbles, not wanting to go into detail. It has been embarrassing she lost this bet since she definitely can do better.

“Try seven,” Lexa suffices, not exactly helping Ontari.

“It was easier for you, commander,” Ontari retorts. “You approached Luna who’s probably so into you anyways. I approached strangers. Besides, bet you ten dollars I can pick up a college girl this weekend.”

“A college girl you say?” Octavia asks, interested. “That I have to see and I’m so going out this weekend, grounded or not.”

“If you keep betting with us, O and I will never have to work,” Lexa teases, enjoying how Ontari keeps losing bet after bet. “Extra money is always welcome.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Anya smiles while twisting her hand in Raven’s shirt and pulling her close. Their lips meet in a hungry, ravishing kiss. “Mhm, I missed you,” she husks before kissing her girlfriend again.

“I missed you too,” Raven whispers against Anya’s lips. “By the end of this month, we’ll finally be living together.” She’s excited about it, barely able to wait to wake up next to her girlfriend every morning.

Anya brushes a lock of Raven’s hair behind her ear. “Lexa will be helping us to move all your boxes and everything here by the end of this month. Maybe her friends will help out as well.”

“It would be nice if they’d help as well, but I won’t count on it too much. There’s not much stuff to move though and I was thinking maybe I could bring a box over every time I come here, so it’ll be lesser at the end of this month. Is that okay?”

“Of course, babe. More than okay even,” Anya replies, happy about Raven moving in soon. “I’ll be sharing everything I have with you.”

“Mhm, I like the sound of that.”

“I’ll be sharing my bed with you.”

Raven smiles and wraps her arms around Anya’s waist. “Keep talking, I like where this is going,” she says, insisting her girlfriend to go on.

“We should practice.”

“Yes, let’s start with your bed.”

“Our bed,” Anya corrects Raven. She grabs her girlfriend’s hand and tugs her along.

Raven wordlessly follows Anya into what soon will be their bedroom.

Anya shuts the door behind them and pushes Raven up against it, latching her lips onto her girlfriend’s neck. She sucks on Raven’s pulse point, planning to leave a hickey there.

“Babe!” Raven shouts and reluctantly pushes Anya away. “Not there, I have to be presentable at work.”

Anya pouts slightly like a puppy who just lost its treat. She grasps the hem of Raven’s shirt, lifting it over her head.

Raven leans her head back against the door while Anya leaves a hickey on her breast. When her girlfriend pulls away, admiring her work, she wastes no time to undress Anya and to have her back meet the bed.

Anya moans when Raven bites her neck while pinning her hands above her head. With each move she grows more aroused. She’s eager to have some friction.

Raven takes notice of the way Anya is moving her hips. She smirks and presses her knee between her girlfriend’s legs, giving her some of the friction she desperately needs. “Soon,” she promises, intending to take her time to pleasure Anya.

Anya pulls her hands free and weaves them through Raven’s hair, forcing her girlfriend to lean down to kiss her. Once their lips meet, she moves her legs, hooking them around Raven’s legs and flipping them over, leaving her on top.

Raven grins while they continue to switch positions, playfully fighting for dominance. That’s what they get for both being rather dominant in bed. Sometimes she lets Anya have her way, but not that easily.

Anya squeezes one of Raven’s breasts while flicking her tongue around the nipple of her girlfriend’s other breast. She hums pleased as Raven’s moans pick up, creating a rhythm she likes. Her free hand finds its way between her girlfriend’s legs, where slick wetness awaits her.

Raven breathes faster and coaxes Anya’s chin up, wanting to kiss her.

Anya bites Raven’s bottom lip and revels at the way her girlfriend moans into her mouth. She’s so turned on right now and with every breath and moan she hears from Raven, her own wetness increases.

Raven’s breath hitches in her throat when Anya rubs against her leg. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” she whispers.

“Mhm, so are you, babe,” Anya whispers back, knowing she’s not the only one who is wet. “I want to taste you.”

Raven moans louder at the thought of Anya between her legs, tasting her. “Let me taste you first,” she says, unable to wait much longer for a sweet taste of her girlfriend.

Anya shakes her head and holds Raven’s hips down. “Later. I’ll have my way with you first.”

Raven is about to protest, but before she can say another word Anya is flattening her tongue against her center. “Mhmm, fuck. Yes, just like that,” she says, moaning and encouraging her girlfriend to go on. “Fuck, this feels so good.”

Anya thrusts two fingers inside of Raven while keeping her tongue on her girlfriend’s clit.

“Fuck, you’re too good at this,” Raven says and bites her bottom lip to keep from moaning louder. Anya sure knows what she’s doing, as usual and of course once her girlfriend is done, she’ll gladly return the favor, twice. “Mhm, fuck.”

Anya and Raven both jump up when they hear the front door slamming shut loudly.

Raven blinks a few times. “Ah, so Lexa is home then,” she says, putting two and two together.

“It appears so,” Anya replies. “She won’t come in my bedroom. You’ll just have to keep silent.”

Raven’s eyes widen when Anya pushes her down again while covering her mouth with one hand.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s heart nearly combusts when Aden keeps staring at the door, placing his tiny hands against it.

“Lessa,” Aden says while tilting his head to the side as if he’s confused why the door isn’t opening to reveal Lexa. “Lessa, Lessa, Lessa.”

“Aw, my little guy,” Clarke whispers as she picks Aden up and places him on her hip. “You want to play with Lexa?”

Aden nods gingerly. “Towel with Lessa,” he says and claps his hands together.

“You want to build a tower with Lexa?”

Aden nods and his eyes grow a bit bigger.

“She’ll be back this weekend,” Clarke says. “You can build a tower with Niylah tomorrow.”

“Ni-Ni!”

Clarke smiles as Aden’s face lights up. She knows her son loves to play games with Niylah. “Do you want to build a tower with me?” She asks, offering to spend time with him. “We can build a tower and then it is time for your bath. After your bath it’s story time.”

Aden claps his hands together and wiggles his legs around. “Stoly! Stoly!” He coos happily.

Clarke kisses Aden’s cheek and puts him down so they can build a tower together. When Lexa comes around over the weekend to be tutored, she can ask if she wants to build a tower with her son. It’s unsure how the brunette will react, because it’s tough to read Lexa.

Aden plops down, grabbing the blocks that are laying around.

“We’re going to make a very big tower,” Clarke says, holding her hand up next to her hip. “This big.” She sits down next to Aden and helps him to build the tower. Her son is her top priority and no matter what, he will always come first.

Aden coos when their tower is high and he pushes it over, making all the blocks fall around them.

“Oh no, our tower,” Clarke gasps lightly, faking a shocked expression. She pulls Aden close and tickles him. “Bath time, my little guy," she whispers, standing up and lifting her son above her head. “Ah my tiny hero can fly!”

Aden laughs and stretches his small arms out in front of him while Clarke holds him up. “Mommy, I fly!” He coos proudly.

“Yes, you’re my superman,” Clarke replies happily. She holds Aden above her head, all the way to the bathroom. “Prepare for landing," she says as she slowly lowers her son, carefully placing him down. “I’ll get your superman pajamas for tonight.”

Aden throws his plastic ducks in the water while Clarke collects everything for his bath.

Clarke smiles as she counts four ducks. Aden used to have five, but he gave one to Niylah at some point, as a gift because he likes her. She watches as her son fondly looks at one of his ducks and pushes it to the side. “Who is that duck for, Aden?” She asks curiously, feeling like he’s keeping it for someone. To add to her question, she points her index finger at the duck. “Who are you going to give this duck to?”

Aden looks up at his mother. “Lessa,” he whispers while staring at the duck, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

“Aw, you’re going to give one of your ducks to Lexa?”

Aden nods heavily.

“Okay, bath time now.”

Clarke hopes her son won’t get too attached to Lexa, since her student won’t be a constant person is Aden’s life. So far her son is rather attached to Niylah and Raven, which is okay because he sees both of them frequently. Lexa will only be around the few times she’ll tutor her, which likely won’t even last the entire school year and even if it does, after that her student will be gone and she wouldn’t want Aden to be sad about that. Certain things are tough to explain to her son, such as why someone suddenly isn’t around anymore.

During his bath, Aden keeps glancing at the duck he’s keeping aside for Lexa, as if he’s trying to make sure it is still there.

Clarke sings a song while Aden plays with his ducks. She wonders how her son is getting attached to Lexa so fast, since they barely met at all and Aden isn’t one to like anyone that fast, definitely not in a way where he’s already keeping a gift aside. Her son’s childlike innocence melts her heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure when the next update will be, since I'm not writing as much anymore, but I do plan to finish this story eventually. 
> 
> Patience is a virtue. :)


	6. Bittersweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to write this chapter, but here it is. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Hello, Miss Griffin,” Lexa says politely when the door swings open.

“Hello, Lexa,” Clarke replies, smiling. She runs a hand through her hair. “Please come in.”

“I can’t possibly say no when you say it nicely like that,” Lexa retorts with a playful wink. She brushes lightly past Clarke, entering her place.

“Lessa!!”

Lexa barely has the time to kneel down when Aden runs up to her. “Hey, little man,” she says while trying to keep her balance on her feet.

Aden grins and holds one hand behind his back. He proudly reveals the duck he kept for her.

“Oh my,” Lexa says, pretending to be surprised, although she is a bit. “Is this for me?” She smiles when Aden nods and accepts the duck from him. “I have always wanted one of these.”

Clarke’s heart melts to see Aden so happy and she’s genuinely surprised Lexa isn’t used to babysit children, since she seems to be a natural. It’s confusing how at school the brunette is a rebel, yet at her home she sees a whole other side of her.

Lexa ruffles Aden’s hair and thanks him for the gift. She turns around, feeling busted with Clarke’s eyes on her. “I’m ready to be tutored,” she announces nonchalantly, wanting her teacher to peel her eyes away. Not that she minds being looked at, but being soft around Aden makes her feel vulnerable.

Clarke doesn’t react until Lexa clears her throat. “Right, yes,” she says as she walks over to her couch. “I made a few cards with questions on one side and the answers on the back,” she explains while reaching for the stack of cards on her table. “They can be helpful.”

“I appreciate that,” Lexa replies politely, a bit amazed Clarke went through that trouble for her. Definitely not a good time to let her know she doesn’t even need to be tutored. If the blonde would know this is merely an excuse to spend some time together, it will send a bad signal. “I’m not sure if I can do the whole question thing though.”

“How about if you get a question right, you get a cookie?” Clarke suggests, wanting to motivate Lexa to give this a try. “I baked cookies earlier.”

Lexa quirks her eyebrow. She likes where Clarke is going with this, although she has a better idea than cookies. “No, I’ll pass for that,” she replies abruptly, watching the blonde’s face morph from hope to something close to despair. “How about if I get a question right, I get to ask you a question?”

Clarke is a bit confused and wonders if Lexa is testing her. “Okay, we can each take a turn to grab a card and-”

“No, no,” Lexa interrupts, cutting Clarke off. “I meant, when I get a question from the cards right, I get to ask you a question that’s not on the cards.”

“Oh,” Clarke replies, not sure what to think now. “Okay, we can try that.” As long as she can get Lexa to cooperate it’s okay. She takes the first card and reads it to Lexa.

Lexa grins when she answers it right. “I studied,” she lies, assuming Clarke must have thought she’d get it wrong. “What kind of flowers do you like, if any?”

“Flowers, hmm,” Clarke says, thinking about it. “My favorites are roses.”

“Red roses?”

“I will answer that when you get the next one right,” Clarke retorts with a small smile. She can hear Lexa grumbling lightly, but she ignores it and reaches for the next card.

Lexa knows the answer, but she decides not to give herself away by suddenly getting everything right. Her story about needing to be tutored needs to make sense, so she gives the wrong answer. For the next four cards, she answers wrong on purpose. With the fifth card, she answers right.

“Red roses do look nice,” Clarke says. “But they aren’t my favorite. I like white roses, because they look pure.”

Lexa smiles every once in a while when she decides to answer a question right and gets to ask Clarke one. She’s learning more about the blonde and the more she learns, the more intrigued she becomes.

Questions are exchanged back and forth for about an hour when Lexa calls it quits.

“Do you like thai?” Lexa asks curiously. “We could order that,” she suggests. “It’s getting late and I’m a bit hungry.”

“Thai sounds good,” Clarke replies. “I’ll call the order in.”

“Okay, but I’m paying.”

“Lexa, I cannot let you pay,” Clarke says thoughtfully. “I’ll pay for it.”

Lexa shakes her head. “Consider this a thank you for tutoring me,” she says, insisting to pay.

“Only this one time,” Clarke relents, not feeling too great to let Lexa pay. “All I want is for you to pass my class. That’s all the thanks I really need.”

“Well you get that and dinner, so relax and enjoy,” Lexa says calmly. “You told me you baked cookies, so you’ve got dessert.”

Clarke grabs her phone and dials the number to order their food.

Lexa walks to the corner of the room where Aden is playing with a few toys. “Hey,” she whispers to him. “You have a lot of blocks. Which one do you find the prettiest?”

Aden points his finger at a few blue blocks.

“I like blue as well,” Lexa whispers. “It’s a pretty color for sure.” She looks back to check if Clarke is still talking on the phone. When she sees she is and isn’t paying any mind to her, she turns her attention back to Aden. “Your mommy has blue eyes. She is beautiful, isn’t she?”

Aden smiles and pushes his blue blocks towards Lexa. “Towel,” he whispers. “Lessa, towel.”

“You want me to build a tower for you?” Lexa asks. She chuckles lightly when Aden makes a serious face and nods, as if this is top secret. “I’m going to need all your blocks. This tower is going to get high,” she whispers as she stacks the first few blocks.

When Clarke hangs up, she lingers quietly, watching Lexa build a tower with Aden. Seeing them interact with each other pulls at her heart strings every time. She is tempted to ask the brunette to be her son’s babysitter for when she needs one. Rebel or not, there is a certain softness to Lexa, which she has been noticing.

Aden coos when Lexa lifts him up to put the last block on the tower. He kicks his feet and laughs when the tower collapses.

Lexa puts Aden down again. “High five, little man,” she says, kneeling down in front of him. She picks up one of his tiny hands to show him how it is done. “High five,” she repeats as she moves his hand. “It’s easy just like that.”

Clarke scoops Aden in her arms and kisses his cheeks. “Your tower was so high,” she says impressed.

Aden reaches his hands up to Clarke’s face. “Pletty eyes,” he says, smiling.

“Aww, my little guy,” Clarke replies, smiling and hugging Aden closer to herself. “Where did you learn that?”

Lexa looks away and acts as if her nose is bleeding. “They’ll be here in thirty minutes with the food?” she asks, changing the topic.

“In twenty minutes,” Clarke corrects.

“Okay good, I’m hungry.”

“I will be in the kitchen for a while to feed Aden if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Lexa replies. “The kid needs to eat and I don’t think he’d like thai.”

When the doorbell rings, Lexa opens the door right as Clarke walks out of the kitchen with Aden. “I got this, Miss Griffin,” she says reassuringly. She smiles politely at the delivery guy and fishes some money out of her wallet.

Clarke walks back into her kitchen to set down plates. “Would you like something to drink?”

Lexa puts the food down on the table. “Yeah, anything is fine,” she replies. “I can’t stay much longer,” she says quickly. “Hate to cut this short, but I have somewhere to be in an hour.”

“That is okay, you’ve been here long enough. You’re free to go when you want to.”

“I’m leaving once we’re done eating,” Lexa explains. Her friends will be waiting for her to party. “I think for the upcoming test I’ll be fine.” She doesn’t want to plan more tutor moments yet, since she likes to hang with her friends.

Clarke nods with a small smile and concentrates on her food. She looks at Lexa every now and then. When the brunette spills some sauce over her chin, she gulps when Lexa brings her finger up to her chin, collects the sauce and puts her finger in her mouth.

Lexa catches Clarke staring at her. She licks her finger clean and pops it out of her mouth. “Did you want some?” she naughtily asks.

“No, thank you,” Clarke replies firmly, shutting it down. She mentally scolds herself for staring at Lexa and even more so for being caught staring. “I have napkins.”

“I’m good, no need for napkins.”

The rest of their dinner takes place silently, almost painfully so.

Lexa gets up once she’s done. “I’ll see you at school,” she says, winking. “Dessert will be for another time.”

“I can give you a container with some cookies,” Clarke offers. “Then you can take them with you and eat them later.”

Lexa shakes her head. She ruffles Aden’s hair. “Be good, little man,” she says. “Later,” she says to Clarke.

Clarke sighs as she watches Lexa leave, puzzled by her behavior.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Lex, there you are!” Octavia shouts when she sees Lexa arriving at the party. She laughs and walks up to her friend. “You’re going to be in for fun, Ontari has been turned down by four college girls so far.”

Lexa laughs. “That bitch should take it easy. I’ll teach her how it’s done,” she replies.

“Luna has been looking for you.”

“Cool, where is she?”

“She’s hanging out with Ri,” Octavia says, pointing her finger to their right where Ontari is talking to a college girl. “I’m going to grab something to drink.”

“Grab a drink for me too, Grounder.”

“You’ve got it, commander,” Octavia replies. “Two drinks coming up,” she adds with finger guns.

Lexa walks up to Luna, tapping her shoulder.

“Hey, Lex!” Luna shouts excitedly. “It’s good to finally have you at the party.”

“Yeah,” Ontari chimes in. “We got a lil worried you wouldn’t show up.”

“And miss you being turned down by college girls? Nah.”

“Ouch,” Ontari replies, laughing. “I’ll get one at this party, you’ll see. I recall you saying you’d hook up with a college girl,” she teases, nodding her head towards Luna.

Luna wraps her hand around Lexa’s wrist. “Too late, she’s at this party with me,” she says, slightly possessively.

Lexa smirks and kisses Luna’s cheek. “Yup, I am,” she confirms, digging the confident turnout.

“Hmm,” Ontari says, sizing Luna up. “Yeah fuck it, I approve.”

“You better,” Lexa retorts. “Let’s get you a girl,” she says as she scans the college girls. “How about that one over there?” she asks, pointing at a girl. “She looks like fun.”

“I like her tats,” Ontari hums in approval. “Yeah, I’ll give it a go.”

Octavia pushes a drink in Lexa’s hand. “Here you go,” she says with a smile. “They need to crank the music up.”

“Nah, what they need is decent music,” Ontari says. “This ain’t a tea-party.”

Lexa pulls Luna closer to herself. “I’m going to let them play something else,” she says, agreeing with Ontari. “You with me?” she asks Luna.

“Fuck yes,” Luna replies eagerly. “Good luck, Ontari.”

“I don’t need luck,” Ontari says, waving it off. “Mark my words, by tonight I’ll hook up with a college girl.”

“I believe you Ri,” Lexa says, supportively.

Octavia sips from her cup while Lexa walks away with Luna. “I still can’t believe you hooked up with Lex,” she says, shocked and surprised.

“One time, O,” Ontari replies, sighing. “Just once. If you wanna hook up with me to be even, just say so.”

Octavia laughs. “Nah, I’ve got my eye on someone. You can go get yourself a college girl.”

“You’re planning to hook up with Atom?”

Octavia shrugs. “I might, I’m not sure yet.” She hasn’t thought much about it yet. “College people are interesting. They’re not too happy when they know we’re not eighteen yet though.”

“They don’t need to know. Besides, we’ll be eighteen soon enough, it’s no big deal.”

“I think Lexa is going to get along fine with Luna,” Octavia comments, watching Lexa winking at some guy while the music is being changed.

“Luna is better than Costia, that’s for sure.”

“Costia doesn’t seem so bad,” Octavia replies, disagreeing.

“Costia is a total nerd. It sucks you’re stuck working with her for the rest of the school year.”

“I don’t mind,” Octavia says, not bothered in the slightest because she knows Costia gets good grades. “Anyways, let’s party, that’s what we’re here for.”

“Ten dollars I’ll be kissing with a college girl before this night ends.”

“You’re on, Arctic,” Octavia replies, grinning. “I bet you twenty I can kiss one before you can.”

“Prepare to cough up thirty dollars, grounder,” Ontari teases confidently.

“Not a chance.”

Lexa returns with extra cups. “Now this music is better,” she says approvingly. “Why are you two still standing here like plants?”

“We’ve got a bet going,” Octavia replies. “Do you want in?”

“Let’s hear it.”

“Ten dollars Ri can kiss a college girl before the night ends, twenty I kiss one before she does.”

“Sounds like you’ll have to cough up sixty dollars, O,” Lexa says, chuckling as Octavia looks shocked. “I’m betting on Ri.”

“Seriously?” Octavia asks, not believing her ears. “I won the last bet from her, I can win this one too.”

“That was at the park, which is more your scenery really,” Lexa explains. “This is a party with tons of college girls, which is more Ontari’s scenery.”

“Fine, you’ll both lose the bet then.”

Lexa spends her time at the party with Luna, getting reasonably drunk. She’s amused when Octavia grumbles as she pays up, having lost the bet and what amuses her more is that Ontari is too busy making out to collect her money. “Told you so,” she says to Octavia.

“Next time,” Octavia says, sure of herself. “I’m so tired ugh, my parents are going to be pissed if I don’t go home.”

“It’s not a good time for me to drive,” Lexa says thoughtfully, shaking a bit from drinking. “I’m crashing here. Tell them you’re staying with me or something.”

“They think I’m studying,” Octavia says while nervously sending a text. “I think there was something wrong with my last cup, my head is spinning.”

“Maybe you drank a bit too much,” Lexa replies. “The drinks I’ve had seemed fine.” When Octavia topples over, she catches her. “Okay, maybe there was something in yours.” She groans as she scoops her friend into her arms. “Lu, help me carry her up to a room.”

Luna grabs Octavia’s legs, helping Lexa carry her.

It takes them a little while to get up to one of the bedrooms.

Lexa opens the door and drops Octavia on the bed. “You can sleep next to her, I’ll sleep on the floor,” she suggests. It takes her a bit of convincing before Luna accepts.

As the night passes slowly, Lexa keeps a watchful eye on Octavia to make sure she’s okay.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Raven huffs when she tries to hoist up a box that’s on the heavy side. From the corner of her eye she sees Lexa, kicking some stuff around. “Lexa, hey,” she says calmly to get her attention. “Would you mind helping me with this box?”

Lexa refrains herself from rolling her eyes. “Whatever,” she replies uninterested. She walks over towards Raven and helps her with the box.

“Only a few more boxes to go,” Raven says optimistically. “We’re almost done.”

Anya helps to lift the box in the trunk of the car. “How many boxes are left?”

“Just a few, babe,” Raven replies, smiling before kissing Anya briefly. “Living with you is going to be amazing.”

“Mhm, it will be.”

“Yay,” Lexa says sarcastically. “I can’t wait to have one of my teachers living with us.”

“Be nice,” Anya says, sighing.

Lexa grumbles and turns around. When she sees Clarke carrying a box she walks up to her. “Need a hand?”

“Yes, please,” Clarke replies gratefully, smiling slightly. She stops for a while, looking at Anya and Raven who are smiling and kissing. “They look so happy together. It’s beautiful.”

“Uh yeah,” Lexa says as she sees the look on Clarke’s face. She can tell how the blonde years for something like that. “You’ll have that too someday, you know?”

Clarke snaps out of her daze. “What?” she asks a bit confused. “No I… I just... they look happy together, that’s all.”

“Okay,” Lexa says dryly, letting it go. “Are we going to get this box to the car or are we going to keep standing here?”

Clarke says nothing and starts walking again, a bit embarrassed by how she was staring and how Lexa caught her thoughts easily.

A loud noise makes Lexa smile. She waves briefly at her friend. “Hey, Ri!” she calls out.

“Hey, Lex!” Ontari shouts back. “I brought Luna.”

Lexa grins when Luna gets off of Ontari’s motorcycle and runs up to her. “Hey, I thought I wouldn’t see you until tonight,” she says, surprised. “It’s good to see you.”

Luna wraps her arms around Lexa and kisses her. “I know, but I was hanging out with Ontari and she offered to drop me off, so I was like yeah sure why not,” she explains. “Are you done here?”

“Yeah, toats. They’ve only got a few boxes left, but they’ll have to handle those because I’ll be out of here.”

“O is waiting for us at the park,” Ontari says. “I told her we’d be back in ten minutes.”

“Sure thing, Arctic.”

“We all know the commander can race well.”

“Fuck, you’re on,” Lexa replies, grinning. “It sucks grounder doesn’t have a motorcycle.”

“I bet O will have one someday, maybe she’ll be good at it, who knows.”

“Yeah maybe she’ll even kick your ass.”

“Ha, you’re funny, Lex.”

Anya sighs slightly, but she understands that Lexa wants to spend time with her girlfriend. “Thanks for helping out, Lexa,” she says gratefully, since at least she tried.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lexa replies dryly, waving her hand. “See you all later.” She grabs her helmet and climbs on top of her motorcycle. Once she’s set, she waits for Luna to get on behind her before taking off.

Raven laughs while loading the last box into the trunk of the car. “She’s taking it quite well so far.”

“She’s been hanging out more with Luna lately,” Anya says.

Clarke quietly listens as they talk and she knows now that the times she saw Lexa kissing Luna’s cheek at school wasn’t plainly a friendship thing. It still puzzles her how sometimes the brunette can be sweet one moment and then change the next, keeping her rebel act up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when I'll write the next chapter. Things like please etc won't make me write a chapter faster. It takes time and patience. I'm just a regular person. 
> 
> This is a slow-burn.


	7. Well this is awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter early, so here it is. 
> 
> Enjoy. :)

“Good morning, Lexa,” Anya says with a big smile when Lexa slumps out of her bedroom. She had been waiting for her cousin to get up and now that she finally is up, she wonders if Lexa slept with her clothes on, since her hoodie and her jeans does look a bit ruffled.

Lexa blinks her eyes a few times, still sleepy. She sees Anya’s goofy smile and Raven’s even goofier smile, and how they’re both wearing an oversized shirt. “Morning,” she mumbles.

“I’ve made eggs and bacon,” Raven says. “Would you like some, Lexa?” She points at the kitchen table. “There is orange juice, milk, coffee,…”

Lexa shrugs a bit. “Yeah, I guess,” she replies indifferently. It doesn’t really matter what she would have for breakfast.

Anya nudges Lexa with her shoulder. “Raven has been preparing this all for an hour,” she whispers. “Try to be nice, Lexa.” She appreciates all the effort her girlfriend has been making and the least her cousin can do is be polite.

Lexa pulls a chair back and sits down. It sucks that Raven lives here as well now, because living with a teacher is weird and there’s no way she’ll be happy about it. Her cousin hasn’t been thinking this through, but it’s whatever, not like she has a say about anything.

“Eggs?” Raven asks while holding out a pan.

Lexa nods and watches Raven scoop it on her plate. “Thanks,” she says and adds a fake smile. “You’re too kind to make this extraordinary breakfast.” Anya wanted her to be nice, so there she has it.

“Lexa,” Anya warns, glaring at her cousin with her eyes. She doesn’t like the tone in Lexa’s voice.

Raven sighs and places her hand on Anya’s shoulder. “It’s fine, babe,” she whispers. She knows Lexa isn’t happy that she moved on, but this is about the relationship she has with Anya.

Lexa had gotten home late after spending her Saturday night out, so she didn’t sleep much. When her phone buzzes, she checks it to see who the other early bird is.

 

 **Grounder:** Meet up at the park, say noon?

 **Commander:** Sure, I’ll be there.

 **Arctic:** Wtf you two, I’ve barely opened my eyes.

 **Grounder:** Chill, arctic ;)

 **Arctic:** You binch.

 **Commander:** I’ll pick Lu up.

 **Grounder:** I want a ride too. Ri, pick me up.

 **Arctic:** K, I’ll pick you up, cuz you’re asking nicely.

 **Grounder:** Love you too!

 **Commander:** I’ll see you both at the park.

 **Grounder:** Halfway through my cereal.

 **Arctic:** I’m still in my bed, lemme get a shower first. It ain’t even noon yet.

 **Commander:** I’m about to have eggs and bacon.

 **Arctic:** Damn, I want that.

 **Commander:** Teach made it.

 **Arctic:** Is she trying to poison you yet?

 **Grounder:** Bitch, you better pick me up soon I’m getting nuts in here.

 **Arctic:** Fine, I’ll roll out my bed.

 **Commander:** Talk later.

 

Anya clears her throat and stares at Lexa. “Are you done?” she asks impatiently while holding out a plate with bacon.

“Yes, relax,” Lexa replies. “I was chatting with my friends.”

“We are trying to eat breakfast. Put your phone away.”

Lexa lets out a short laugh. “You’re not my mother,” she says, frustrated. “I’m putting it away already anyway.” She puts her phone down, feeling aggravated. “Happy now?”

Anya tightens her grip on her fork. “Ecstatic.” She loosens her grip when she feels Raven’s hand squeezing her knee.

Lexa shovels her food up so fast she’s pretty much inhaling it and not chewing much. “What?” she says when Anya stares at her again. “I’m in a hurry, meeting up with Luna and my friends.”

“Don’t be home late,” Anya says as Lexa stands up, kicking back her chair. When the chair falls down, she sighs and puts a hand in her hair.

“Relax,” Lexa says as she puts the chair back in its place. “I’ll be home for dinner.”

“Lately all you seem to do here is sleep and eat, you’re barely ever home.”

“Fine, I’ll eat elsewhere,” Lexa mutters, pulling her hoodie over her head. She doesn’t need any of this. So what if she isn’t home much?

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Anya cares about you,” Raven says, hoping Lexa will understand.

“Stay out of this,” Lexa replies coldly. “I don’t need any of you to mother me.” She makes her way out of the door, reaching for her motorcycle. Anya isn’t her mother and neither is Raven, so they should stop acting as if they are.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“They like the bread crumbs,” Clarke says sweetly. She smiles while Aden tosses another handful of crumbs into the pond for the ducks. “Aw they’re so happy.”

Aden coos as he watches the ducks eating the bread crumbs. “Look, mommy!” he shouts happily.

“I see, baby,” Clarke replies, pulling Aden close to herself. “Mommy sees.” She opens the bag so he can grab more bread crumbs.

Aden looks over his mother’s shoulder. “Mommy,” he whispers while pulling at her shirt. “Lessa.”

Clarke turns around and sees that Lexa is walking over to a bench with Luna, Octavia and Ontari. “Lexa is not alone, little guy,” she whispers. “Now is not a good time.”

Aden pouts, not understanding.

“Another time, baby,” Clarke says. She gently strokes Aden’s back, trying to soothe him.

“Lessa now.”

Clarke has to pick Aden up when he tries to wiggle himself free.

“Lessa!” Aden shouts loudly. “Lessa, Lessa, Lessa!”

“Shhh, Aden,” Clarke hushes, rocking him in her arms. “No shouting.” She chews on her lip when she watches Lexa’s head snap up towards them, along with the heads of Luna, Octavia and Ontari.

Ontari narrows her eyes. “Is that… our teacher?” she asks confused.

“Yeah,” Octavia chimes in. She nudges Lexa with her elbow. “Oi, that kid is calling you.”

“How does that kid know your name?” Luna asks. “Is that her kid?”

“She has a son,” Lexa replies calmly. “He barreled into me here at the park once.” She’s not planning to tell them about the tutor lessons she had. “I’ll be right back.”

“You’re serious?” Octavia asks, surprised.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Lexa assures them. “Just relax.” She turns her back on them and runs up to Clarke and Aden.

“Hi,” Clarke says, slightly embarrassed when Lexa runs up to them. “I think Aden missed you a bit.”

“Yeah…” Lexa sighs slightly and rubs the back of her neck. “I’m here with my girl and my friends. What’s up?”

Clarke knits her eyebrows together. “What’s up? I um... I’m just at the park with my son.”

“Cool, I’ve got to run again. I’ll see you at school,” Lexa says, a bit apologetically. She clicks a key chain from her small collection of key chains. “This is for you, Aden,” she whispers as she hands it to him. She cups the shell of his ear to whisper quietly without Clarke hearing. “Now we are friends, okay buddy? But my other friends want to play now. I’ll see you later.”

Clarke is a bit surprised Lexa gave Aden a key chain, but she’s happy to see him smiling. “Thank you for saying hi, Lexa.”

“I kind of had to since the whole park probably heard him shouting,” Lexa replies coldly, not going along with this sentimental stuff.

“Right… of course,” Clarke says, slightly hurt by Lexa’s sudden change of attitude. “I’m sorry about that.”

Lexa hears the small crack in Clarke’s voice and regrets the coldness of her words. “He has a healthy pair of lungs,” she says, softer this time. “I do have to go now though, but it was nice seeing you both.”

Clarke nods sadly and decides to take Aden elsewhere, to avoid drawing attention like that. She takes out her phone and calls Raven, who picks up after the second ring. “Hey, can I come over in a few minutes?” she listens to her friend’s positive reaction. “Okay, I’ll be there soon, with Aden.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, sweetie,” Raven coos when she lifts Aden up. “He keeps getting bigger,” she says to Clarke.

“He’s been growing up fast,” Clarke replies, agreeing. “He’ll be two soon, I can barely believe it.” She still remembers the day he was born as if it just happened a day ago. “It’s nice to see you again, Anya.”

“Likewise,” Anya says politely. She holds one of Aden’s tiny hands. “Children are adorable,” she coos, smiling at Raven.

“How was it at the park?” Raven asks curiously.

“We have been feeding the ducks,” Clarke replies, smiling at the memory. “Aden got distracted when he noticed Lexa. She was at the park with her friends and he kept calling out for her, shouting even.”

“Oh so that’s where she is,” Anya says wryly, glad to at least know where Lexa is hanging out. There could have been worse places.

“Wait,” Raven says abruptly. “How does Aden know Lexa? It can’t be from that day he ran into her, can it?”

“I have been tutoring Lexa.”

Anya frowns at that. “You have been tutoring Lexa?” she asks, confused. “She has never had a tutor.” She knows Lexa isn’t a fan of school, but as far as she knows her cousin passes.

“That’s weird,” Raven pitches in. “Her grades usually seem fine.”

Clarke is confused to hear all of that. “She was experiencing difficulties with my class and I tutored her for a while,” she explains, trying to make sense of it. “Her test results for my class have been positive ever since.”

“I’m glad she’s making an effort,” Anya says as a final conclusion. She had no idea Lexa was being tutored and not that it is an issue in any way, but her cousin didn’t need to hide that from her.

“Mhm, yeah,” Raven agrees. She bounces Aden on her hip, making him smile.

“Would you like some coffee, Clarke?” Anya asks politely. “I also have cookies.”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

Raven gently puts Aden down so he can walk around. “I’ll make the coffee,” she offers, wanting to help. “Milk? Sugar?”

“A bit of both,” Clarke replies. She turns around while Anya and Raven prepare the coffee and the cookies, to see Aden walks into a room, from which the door is half open. “Aden, honey, come back.” She walks up to the room to get her son out of it.

Aden giggles while he points his finger at a night stand.

Clarke grasps Aden’s arm. “You can’t go into someone’s room like this,” she whispers. She looks around and realizes this must be Lexa’s bedroom, if the duck on the night stand is any evidence of that. Not wasting another glance, she lifts Aden up and leaves the room. “I’m sorry about that,” she says, apologizing to Raven and Anya.

“It’s okay,” Anya assures Clarke. “Aden is a young child, he didn’t know.” She’s aware Lexa wouldn’t like it, but she’s not going to make a big deal out of a toddler entering a room he shouldn’t. “Would you like to stay over for dinner tonight?”

Clarke isn’t sure if she should do that, since she would like to get a few things done at home before the weekend ends.

“It would be a nice way for us to pay you back for helping me move my stuff,” Raven says, trying to bribe Clarke into saying yes.

“Okay,” Clarke says, giving in. “Not too late though, I don’t want to keep Aden up too long.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa’s jaw drops when she sees Clarke and Aden sitting around the kitchen table with Raven and her cousin. She’s not used to being around them all at once and it is a struggle for her to know how to act. The smile on Aden’s face and the way he stretches his arms out tell her enough that he wants her attention and she doesn’t want to be seen as soft.

“Good to see you made it home for dinner,” Anya comments.

“Great, now I have to eat dinner with two teachers,” Lexa groans. “Fun times,” she adds sarcastically.

“Lessa,” Aden says while clapping his hands together to draw her attention.

Lexa briefly ruffles his hair and sits down for dinner. She can’t wait for this to be over and she regrets that she went home so early. If she had known Clarke and Aden are here, she would have waited a while longer to go home. She doesn’t say a word while she fills up her plate.

“How was your day, Lexa?” Raven asks politely. “Did you do anything fun?”

“My day was fine,” Lexa replies coldly, wanting to be left alone.

“I could make pancakes tomorrow for breakfast.”

“I’ll grab breakfast on my way to school.”

“Lexa…” Anya warns, glaring at her.

“Thanks though,” Lexa adds, getting frustrated. She doesn’t need Raven to try anything to make her like her. Living with a teacher is weird and it sucks.

“The food is great,” Clarke says, wanting to break the awkward tension. “It was very kind to invite Aden and I.”

“You’re welcome to visit us anytime,” Anya offers. “Aden is an adorable little guy,” she says while smiling at him. “It has been lovely to see him.”

“Stay cute,” Raven whispers to Aden. She smiles at Anya and leans her head against her shoulder.

Anya catches the look of distaste from Lexa. “Did the tutor lessons help you, Lexa?” she asks, changing the topic.

Lexa freezes and rests her fork on her plate. This can only mean that Clarke told them and that wasn’t supposed to happen. The last thing she needs is for word to travel how she as a rebel, was being tutored. It was merely an excuse to get to know Clarke a bit better, that’s all it was. “I guess,” she replies, shrugging. “I’m done eating and I have some stuff to do, so excuse me.”

Clarke watches how Lexa runs her hands through her hair, gets up and disappears in her room. She feels bad that she told Anya and Raven about the tutoring, since it appears the brunette may feel embarrassed about it. “I should go home so I can put Aden to sleep,” she says calmly as she gets up. “It was kind of you both to have me here.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow in the teacher’s lounge,” Raven says with a smile.

“Don’t be a stranger, Clarke,” Anya says. She holds the door open for Clarke so she can leave with Aden.

“I won’t,” Clarke replies. “I’ll see you both later.”

Loud music begins to play, much to Anya’s annoyance. “Lexa!” she shouts loudly. “Turn your music down!” She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs deeply. “I’m sorry about that, Clarke.”

“It’s okay it’s not your fault.”

“Sometimes I don’t know what’s going on with here or why she is being so angry.”

“We were teenagers once,” Raven cuts in. “Those years can be hard. It’s obvious she doesn’t like having me around because I’m her teacher, but it feels almost as if she sees me as an evil stepmom or something.”

Anya laughs lightly at that. “That does seem to be the case. I do tend to mother her sometimes,” she admits.

Clarke exchanges a few more words with Anya and Raven before finally leaving with Aden. She wishes the dinner would have been a bit smoother, but it isn’t easy when Lexa appears grumpy. If Lexa’s behavior continues to be off she might have a word with her at school, but only if it would affect the way she acts at school and in her class. She is halfway on her way home when someone taps her shoulder, causing her to turn around.

“Lexa,” Clarke says, surprised. She had no idea she was being followed and from the looks of it, Lexa must have been running. There are a few beats of sweat on the brunette’s forehead and her hair is a bit messy.

“Hi,” Lexa replies, breathing heavily. She holds her hand up, signaling Clarke to wait a moment while she catches her breath. When she tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear, she feels the blonde’s eyes following her every move. “It was nice to have you over for dinner. I wasn’t in the best mood. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me tomorrow after school? To let me make up for it.”

Clarke can tell Lexa wants to make amends, even though it isn’t necessary. “I appreciate your offer, but I have to pass,” she replies respectfully. While tutoring her student, she can accept eating or drinking something, but she cannot possibly accept something like this. “I can’t go out with one of my students.”

“Yeah fair enough,” Lexa says awkwardly. “I didn’t mean going out,” she backtracks quickly. “You do know I have a girlfriend, right? I’m not asking you out, I was asking you to have some coffee.”

“I shouldn’t have implied,” Clarke says, admitting her mistake. “Regardless, I can’t accept going somewhere with a student.”

Lexa slightly regrets she ran after Clarke to invite her for something like that. “Dinner at my place then? Whenever you want,” she offers. There’s no harm in inviting a teacher over for a family dinner.

“I’ll think about it. I have to go home now, Aden needs to sleep.”

Lexa looks at Aden, whose eyes are drooping. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school,” she says, turning out. “Bye.”

Before Clarke can say anything else, Lexa is already running away. The longer she knows the brunette, the more puzzled she is about her and what scares her a bit is that she wants to solve the puzzle to find out who Lexa is, what makes her tick. There is something about the brunette that intrigues her.

 


	8. Misunderstood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here is the next chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Lexa’s cocks her eyebrow and stares Octavia down. “You’re wearing spikes?”

“Slipped out of the house before my parents could see,” Octavia explains. “I’ll wear whatever the hell I want.”

“Good call,” Lexa agrees. She tosses Octavia a helmet. “You ready to go?” She hops on her motorcycle and waits.

“Would you mind if I drive? I really wish I’d have my own motorcycle, it would be so cool.”

“Maybe you’ll have one when we go to college. Now hop on or walk, your choice.”

“Boo!” Octavia replies disapprovingly. She groans and hops on, knowing Lexa won’t relent.

Lexa takes off and speeds up, racing on their way to school. When she arrives, she spins around the parking lot before parking her motorcycle. She waves when Ontari arrives.

Ontari whistles at Octavia. “I’m digging your spikes,” she says, giving her a thumbs up. “And your leather jacket,” she says to Lexa.

Lexa acknowledges Ontari with a nod. She brushes her hair over her right shoulder.

“I’ve got a few joints,” Ontari whispers while revealing a cigarette pack that holds a few joints. “Want one?”

Octavia holds her hand out. “I’ll have one.”

Lexa reaches into her pocket. “I have a lighter,” she says, showing it to them. She helps her friends to light their joint and then lights one for herself. “How did you get these anyway?”

“From the college girl at the party, I saw her again last night with some of her friends.”

“Heyyy!” Luna shouts happily while running up to Lexa. She wraps her arms around her waist and kisses her cheek. “You’re smoking joints?”

“Mhm,” Lexa mumbles. “Want some?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

“Suit yourself,” Ontari grins. She blows out her smoke, causing Luna to cough which makes her laugh.

Lexa grips Ontari’s wrist. “Not cool, Ri,” she says disapprovingly. She hands her joint to Octavia. “I’m going in with Lu. See you guys soon, yeah?”

Ontari rolls her eyes. “I was just teasing,” she says innocently. “Yeah, see you soon.”

“See ya, Lex,” Octavia says. “I’ll be right in once I finish my joint.”

“Oh shit,” Luna says, gasping. “You might want to put that out,” she warns, nodding her head towards one of their teachers arriving.

“Fuck,” Ontari mutters as she quickly puts it out. “We’ll save it for later.”

“After school we can go somewhere,” Lexa suggests. She holds Luna close as Clarke walks by with Raven. “Act casual,” she whispers to her friends.”

“What up, teach?” Ontari calls out. She laughs with Octavia and pulls her hoodie over her head. “Rude, they don’t say shit,” she says when their teachers enter the school building.

“Early menopause probably,” Lexa comments.

“They’re what, ten years older or something? I don’t want to have a stick up my ass like they do when I reach that age, that’s for sure.”

“Ugh, I agree,” Octavia chimes in. She glances at her watch. “Only two minutes left. Dammit.”

Lexa rolls her eyes and pulls Luna along. “Another boring week at school to go.”

“We should make things a bit fun,” Ontari says. 

“We could pull the fire alarm,” Octavia suggests. “Seeing everyone run like there’s a fire would be nice and it would save us from a boring class.”

“Nah,” Lexa says, shaking her head. “We did that last year.”

“I say we pull a prank on Miss Reyes,” Ontari says with a smirk.

Lexa grins and nods, oh yes, she’s totally in for that.

“She doesn’t seem so bad,” Octavia says quietly. “Don’t give me that look, Lexa,” she sighs as Lexa’s eyes drill through her skull. “I mean as a teacher, she’s sort of okay.”

“Maybe that’s why you teamed up with that Costia nerd,” Ontari comments.

“No way, I’m not a nerd.”

Ontari grips Lexa’s forearm for a moment. “O, you can go in with Lu, we’ll be right there,” she says calmly. “I just need a moment with Lex.”

“Okay, but the bell will be ringing soon,” Octavia replies, warning them. “Let’s go,” she says to Luna.

Lexa puts her hands in her pockets. “What do you want to talk about?” she asks, not having a clue.

“Miss Reyes moved into your place since this weekend, how do you feel about that?”

Lexa shrugs. “It’s whatever,” she says dryly. “I don’t care.” She looks away, wanting to avoid this.

“Lex, I’m one of your best friends,” Ontari replies, sighing slightly. “It’s fine if you don’t like it, because you don’t have to like it. Sure your cousin owns the house and whatnot, but you live there too and having to live with a teacher is uncool.”

Lexa slumps her shoulders down and leans against the brick wall of the school building. “It sucks and it sucks that I haven’t been asked how I feel about it,” she says sadly. “Anya is making me want to run up the walls, always telling me to be nice to Miss Reyes.”

“You’ve been going through a lot of changes and that shit ain’t easy.”

“Yeah,” Lexa scoffs. “Tell me about it.” She groans when the doorbell rings. “Sounds like we’re going to be late.”

“Anya used to be chill,” Ontari says, tapping from her memory. “Maybe you should have a word with her.”

“That would be pointless, she won’t listen,” Lexa replies while putting her head back to lean more against the brick wall. “After this year I’ll be off to college, we can share a dorm.”

“Don’t knock it till you try it, that’s all I’m saying,” Ontari advices. “We can toats share a dorm with O, assuming we’re going to the same college.”

“Of course we’re going to the same college, Ri.”

Ontari grasps Lexa’s hand. “Let’s go, Miss Griffin will be waiting,” she says while pulling a bit. “I know it sucks, but we’re going to have fun after school.”

Lexa wordlessly follows Ontari to class. She thinks about what she has been told and in some way it does make sense that maybe she should try to talk with Anya. In the past she got along great with her cousin and she used to think the world of her, but lately their relationship has been strained.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke clears her throat when Lexa and Ontari stumble inside her classroom, five minutes late. “I expect you both to be on time,” she says with a strong voice.

“Chill,” Ontari replies, holding her hands up. “We were having a conversation.”

“You can have save that for another time,” Clarke replies disapprovingly. “I will not tolerate you talking back to me. Now both of you, sit down.”

Lexa stares briefly at Clarke, wondering why she is so pissy. So what if they’re late? It is only five minutes. “Won’t happen again,” she says coldly, clenching her fists as she walks to her desk.

Clarke nods approvingly and grabs her ruler from her desk. “Now who can answer this question?” she asks as she slams the ruler against the school board, where two minutes ago she wrote something down. “Lexa, how about you answer,” she says, ignoring the students who are willing to answer. Now is the time to test if tutoring Lexa actually did pay off and according to Anya, she is smart enough.

Lexa wiggles her pen between her fingers, wondering why the hell Clarke picked her when half the class is sticking their hand up like a bunch of ass kissers. “I don’t know, Miss Griffin,” she replies dryly. “How about I don’t answer?”

Clarke shushes her students when there are a few oooh’s and aaaah’s going around. “Strike two,” she says sharply. “One more and you will get detention,” she warns, hoping Lexa will take her education seriously.

“Bowling is kind of neat,” Lexa whispers to Octavia and Ontari who chuckle in response.

Clarke watches Lexa’s little clique. “Ladies, that is enough!” She decides to have a word with Lexa later on, to ask her why she acts out like this and when the brunette entered her classroom with Ontari, she could have sworn she smell something funny. Now she’s hoping that Lexa isn’t on drugs, which would be a step back.

When the class is over, Lexa crosses her arms when Clarke asks her to stay a bit. She sighs deeply and watches everyone else leave. “Not that your class isn’t interesting, but I do have another class to attend,” she calmly points out.

“Is everything okay?” Clarke asks concerned. She leans against her desk and tries to seek eye-contact, but Lexa is barely looking at her.

“Yeah, everything is fine,” Lexa replies quickly. “Can I go now?”

Clarke shakes her head. “Not so fast,” she answers calmly. She takes a deep breath in and slowly breathes out again. “Your behavior today has been worse.”

Lexa rolls her eyes as she awaits another pointless lecture or whatever.

“It must have been a big step for you to have Raven move into your house,” Clarke says softly. She can see she is getting Lexa’s attention now, who is looking at her with big eyes, like a deer caught in headlights. Normally she would refer to Raven as Miss Reyes towards students, but there is no point since the brunette already knows Raven          as more than a teacher.

“It kind of was,” Lexa admits. “It’s strange to have a teacher live at my house.” She knows that technically it is Anya’s house, but she lives there too and it would be nice if her cousin wouldn’t have made all those rash decisions.

“It will take some time for you to adapt to this new situation you’re in. Acting out will not improve your situation, it will lead to you being misunderstood. I know you want everyone to think you’re some kind of rebel, but there is more to you than that. You are a good student, don’t let this ruin your education.”

Lexa scoffs at Clarke’s words. “You don’t know anything.” She slings her backpack over her shoulder. “You’re my teacher don’t try to be a counselor. If this talk is about my education, you’re wasting your breath.”

“You’re carrying all this anger inside of you and the way you’re dealing with it isn’t healthy. I have seen a softer side of you.”

“Don’t try to change me, because you can’t,” Lexa replies sharply. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? I think I know what you’re getting at. You’ve seen me being all sweet and whatnot towards Aden and that makes you think all of this. Well teach, sit down and prepare to be taught a lesson.”

“Excuse me?”

“Fine, stand then, but listen,” Lexa insists. “Here’s a lesson for you, Miss Griffin.” She walks up closer towards Clarke’s desk, facing her. “I have tried to be kind to Aden because children, especially young children are still shaping themselves and their world. Even when someone doesn’t particularly like children or even strongly dislike them, they should still show them kindness, because children are affected by each word and action. When Aden gives a gift, I’ll respond as if it is the most amazing thing someone has ever given me and that reaction will give him a positive feeling. Perhaps you do see me as soft around him, but why wouldn’t I be? The world is harsh enough with enough darkness and it’s important he can keep those little lights for a while longer.”

Clarke is taken aback by this ‘lesson’ she is getting from Lexa and just as she thinks the brunette is done, she goes on.

“You’re a good mother, I can tell you are,” Lexa says admiringly. “Even when you’re in a bad mood or whatever the hell it is, if he makes you a drawing, you’ll smile and express how much you adore his artwork. It will motivate him to keep growing and to draw more. Now this is one example of many, but you get where I’m going with this. I don’t have any experience with being a babysitter and I don’t plan to ever have that, but I do know that being soft and kind towards children is important.”

Clarke brings her hand up to Lexa’s face and catches her teardrop with her thumb before she can stop herself. Now she sees it, now she sees that what the brunette has been acting out isn’t necessarily anger, but pain.

Lexa lightly squeezes her hand around Clarke’s and moves it away from her cheek. Her eyes harden and she stops herself from shedding any more tears. “I have another class to attend,” she whispers softly.

“If you ever need to talk, my door will be open,” Clarke offers. “I do care about your education, I won’t deny that, but I also care about your general wellbeing.”

Lexa clears her throat and walks up to the door. “I will see you later,” she says quickly and leaves. As she shuts the door behind her, she scolds herself for showing this kind of vulnerability.

Clarke needs a moment to sit down, so she plops down on the chair behind her desk and rests her elbows on her desk, with her hands in her hair. She’s still trying to figure out the mystery puzzle Lexa is and sadly she had been a bit wrong. It seemed to her as if the brunette was acting out, perhaps to maintain her status as a rebel at school, but now she knows it is more complicated than that. She has a feeling this goes even deeper than Raven having moved in with Anya. The way Lexa talked about children raises concerns in regards to how long the brunette has been walking around with pain.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Some idiot nearly hit me with his car on my way home,” Lexa says frustrated while she takes her seat to eat dinner. She’s always careful, but some asshole was stepping on his pedal right as his light turned red and nearly scooped her up since it was green for her. Seriously, if she hadn’t quickly turned her wheel, she would have been hit. “He missed me by a hair.”

“You have to be careful, Lexa,” Anya says while she fills up her plate. “I told you before to watch out with your motorcycle.” She sighs deeply and looks at Lexa. “You’re always racing and doing dangerous things, and then this happens.”

Lexa feels frustrated, since she wasn’t the one making a mistake. Sure she often races and appears a bit reckless, but this time she was simply passing through a green light at a normal speed. “I could have ended up in the hospital if he would have hit me.”

“I’m glad you realize that,” Anya replies. “Maybe now you’ll learn to be careful next time.”

Lexa absentmindedly moves her fork around on her plate. “I got a test result back today,” she announces, briefly looking up at Anya and Raven. I passed it, quite a good score actually.”

“Mhm, okay,” Anya mumbles while chewing her food. She smiles for a moment and continues to eat.

“Actually I got a second test result back today as well,” Lexa lies quickly. “I failed it.”

“You should study more, Lexa,” Anya replies, sighing and shaking her head. “Your education is important, you need good grades to get into a good college.”

“You’re mothering me again.”

“I’m not trying to mother you I’m trying to help you.”

“Help me?” Lexa scoffs. “Yeah, you’re superb at that, I must say.”

“We both know you can do better,” Raven chimes in.

“It wasn’t my fault I nearly got hit by a car,” Lexa says as she feels her anger boiling up. “When I said I got a test back with a good score all I got was a miserable mumbled okay, but when I’d fail a test I don’t fucking hear the end of it!” she shouts, slamming her fist down on the table. “It is always education this and education that. You’re both amazing at emphasizing the negative.”

“Lexa!” Anya shouts back, warning her. “Don’t slam your fist on the table like that. You’ve been so angry lately and it is getting out of control.”

“I’m done eating,” Lexa hisses. “You never listen and you say you’re not mothering me, but you’re not much different than she was,” she says coldly, feeling pain seep through her with every word.

Anya gasps and drops her fork, making it clatter on her plate. “Lexa…” she replies, hurt to know she is being compared to Lexa’s mother. It makes her think about all her actions and where she must have gone wrong to make her cousin feel that way.

Raven softly puts her hand on Anya’s shoulder, unsure of what just happened. She doesn’t know what Lexa’s mother was like, because she never asked and it wouldn’t be her place to ask anyway. “Are you okay, babe?” she whispers when Lexa enters her bedroom and slams the door shut.

Anya shakes her head and gets up from her chair. “I have to talk with Lexa for a moment,” she replies quietly. “I’m sorry about all of this.”

“Okay, you can have a word with her,” Raven replies calmly. “I’ll wash the dishes.”

“You don’t have to do the dishes on your own. I can help later.”

“I live here too now and I don’t mind doing the dishes. You need to talk with Lexa, it’s important.”

Anya kisses Raven and walks up to Lexa’s room, knocking on her door. “Lexa, can I enter?” she asks calmly. She waits for a response, but there isn’t any. “I just want to talk with you for a moment,” she tries again. When there is still no response, she enters her cousin’s room, which appears empty. She looks around and notices the window is open. Two seconds later she hears Lexa’s motorcycle taking off.

Raven hears it too and runs up to Lexa’s room where Anya is sitting on the bed. She says nothing and sits down next to her, placing her hand on her knee.

“I fucked up,” Anya whispers through her tears. “She was right, I never listen to her. I haven’t been there for her like I should have been, I’ve been blind. And now… now she’s gone.”

“I’m sure she will come back,” Raven whispers. She allows Anya to lean against her shoulder and strokes her hair. “There aren’t many places she could have gone to. She’ll probably be with her friends.”

“I need her to come home and I need to talk with her. Lexa is the only family I have left and she means a lot to me, but I haven’t been good at showing her that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon more will be revealed about Lexa's backstory. All within due time. 
> 
> Also, don't write Anya off too fast as someone who neglects and whatnot.


	9. Switching sides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here is the next chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Lexa takes a deep breath and knocks hardly on the door. “Hey,” she says when the door swings open. “I’m here for Ontari, can I come in?”

“Hello, Lexa,” Roan replies. He moves out of the way a bit so Lexa can pass. “She’s in her room.”

Lexa silently enters and walks up to Ontari’s room. She slowly knocks three times before opening the door. It’s what she always does with her friends, three slow knocks is their signal for being at each other’s door. She sees Ontari lying down on her stomach on her bed, reading a magazine.

Ontari looks up for a moment and taps the empty space next to her. “Nice to see you here,” she says when Lexa plops down next to her. The way her friend sighs and her face falls worries her. “Rough time at home?” she asks, assuming that’s the culprit.

“Anya never listens to me,” Lexa replies coldly, still bothered by it. “All she cares about is my education. She’s lost in her little world with Raven and I don’t fit in.”

Ontari gently rubs Lexa’s back. “Love seems to be blinding her. Maybe she’ll open her eyes this time.”

“I compared her to my mother because I felt angry,” Lexa says sadly. She didn’t mean to compare Anya with her mother, but she felt hurt and it slipped. “She’s not like my mother, but there are a few things which bother me.”

“You’re welcome to stay here for a while, if you’d like.”

“I appreciate that, Ri,” Lexa replies gratefully. “Will your brother be okay with that?”

“Roan sees you like a sister, he’s not going to mind,” Ontari says reassuringly.

“Sometimes I wish I’d have a sibling.”

“You’ve got me and Octavia, we’re your sisters,” Ontari says while closing the magazine she was looking at. “Blood isn’t everything.”

The door opens, making them both look up.

Ontari groans when Roan stares at them. “Ever heard of knocking?”

“Nope, never have,” Roan teases. “Must be some foreign concept for sure. What do you reckon, Lexa?”

“Sorry bro,” Lexa replies apologetically. She slings one arm around Ontari. “I’m on her side.”

“That’s my gal,” Ontari says with a grin while hugging Lexa.

“Ouch,” Roan replies, laughing softly as he holds a hand to his heart. “Do you want to drink anything?”

“She’s staying over for a while,” Ontari announces bluntly.

“Use protection, girls,” Roan says with a wink. He ducks when a pillow is being thrown at him.

Lexa chuckles when Roan closes the door, without returning the pillow. “Your brother is fun.”

“Sometimes he can be, but other times he’s a total dick,” Ontari laughs dryly. “Oh and that pillow I threw at him?”

“Mhm yeah, what about it?”

“That was yours, so if you want a pillow you’ll have to go get it back from him.”

“Evil bitch,” Lexa laughs while she pushes Ontari.

“O is going to be jealous you’re crashing at my place.”

“You know her family isn’t a fan of having any of us over, so yeah.”

“I’m second best now?” Ontari asks, raising her eyebrows. “You’ve got some nerve calling me evil then.”

“I love you and Octavia equally, I won’t choose. Staying over here is better, O would have to sneak me in.”

“She’s going to be psyched once we go to college, so she can escape her strict household.”

“If she finally gets her hands on a motorcycle by then, we can have fun together,” Lexa says, thinking about it. “How about for her birthday, we take her to a shop to get a decent second-handed motorcycle?” she suggests. “We could pitch in and help her to tweak it a little.”

“Her birthday doesn’t happen for a few more months, but sure, I’ll start keeping money aside,” Ontari says, agreeing with Lexa’s idea. “Once she has her own she can stop asking us to use our motorcycles.” She can imagine how excited and hyper Octavia will be. “It’s funny you’re thinking about her birthday already, since ours happen before hers.”

“Ugh, don’t make me feel old again,” Lexa groans.

“You’re going to be eighteen first and you should totally throw a party.”

“I know I turn eighteen in January, but you turn eighteen like three weeks later,” Lexa retorts. “Seriously Ri, I’m not that much older than you.”

“Haha yeah and O that sucker has to wait until June.”

“I bet she’s counting down already,” Lexa says, sure of her words. “Not that I blame her for that, I’m counting down too. Once I’m eighteen, I can live wherever the hell I want.” If things are still not going well at home when she turns eighteen, she considers moving out.

“September is done with, so it’s not much longer,” Ontari points out matter-of-factly.

A few knocks on the door interrupt their conversation.

“Come in,” Ontari calls out.

“I made some hot coco,” Roan says after opening the door. “Do you want it with the tiny marshmallows or without them?”

Lexa chuckles at the apron Roan is wearing. “Hot stuff?” she mocks, reading the print on his apron.

“I’m a handsome guy, Lexa,” Roan replies.

“For sure,” Lexa says with a serious tone. “If I wasn’t a lesbian, I might have almost dated you.”

“Charming,” Roan says with a wink. He tosses the pillow at Lexa and smiles when she catches it.

“You know we like the tiny marshmallows in our hot coco,” Ontari says, wanting to skip past this weird moment.

“I didn’t bring anything to sleep in,” Lexa sighs. “And I didn’t bring clothes to wear tomorrow, and I definitely didn’t bring any school books.”

“You can borrow clothes from me,” Ontari says, offering a solution. “As for books, sit your ass down next to me and we’ll share.”

“You’re a life saver,” Lexa says with a playful dramatic tone. She could go home to get her things, but right now that’s the last place where she wants to be and she needs some time.

“Does Anya know you’re here?” Roan asks, slightly concerned.

Lexa shakes her head in response.

“I’ll call her to let her know.”

“Roan,” Ontari groans. “Don’t be such an adult.”

“Anya is going to worry,” Roan calmly explains. “If I let her know Lexa is here, then at least she’ll know her cousin is safe.”

Ontari wants to comment again, but Lexa cuts her off. “That’s fine, you can call her to let her know.”

Roan puts the hot coco down and walks away to call Anya. If Ontari would go somewhere, he would also like to know where she went and he feels like calling Lexa’s cousin is the right thing to do.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke smiles at the way Aden coos while looking at his superman pajama. “Who is mommy’s superman?” she asks sweetly.

Aden points at himself and smiles back.

“That’s right, baby,” Clarke replies happily. “You will always be my superman,” she whispers while hugging him close. “I love you so much. It’s time for bed.”

Aden tugs at Clarke’s shirt. “Mommy,” he says with a whining tone. “Stoly.”

“Yes, I’ll tell you a bedtime story,” Clarke reassures him. She picks Aden up and carefully puts him in his bed.

Aden puts the key chain he got from Lexa next to his pillow.

Clarke sits on the edge of his bed to tell him a bedtime story. “Once upon a time there was a superhero named Aden,” she whispers softly. “He was very strong and liked to fly with his bird friends.” She smiles as his eyes droop the further she goes on with the story, and at the way he has one of his hands on the key chain, as if he wants to make sure nobody will take it away from him.

Aden yawns and fully closes his eyes.

Clarke silently gets up from his bed and kisses his forehead. “Sweet dreams, my little angel,” she whispers softly. She tiptoes out of his room and slowly closes the door.

With a look on the clock, she sees it is barely 8pm, so she decides to sit on her couch for a while and watch a movie.

The movie isn’t necessarily uninteresting when she is halfway into watching it, but she can’t stay focused. Her mind keeps drifting to earlier today, to her conversation with Lexa and how fast her reflex had been to catch the brunette’s tear. She wants to help Lexa and by helping she doesn’t mean tutoring her, but confronting the brunette hasn’t been a good tactic. All her students matter and she cares about every single one of them.

She hopes that it doesn’t have to come down to giving Lexa - or any other student – detention. The year will be more pleasant if everyone cooperates and tries their best. During a briefing with other teachers she has been told a school trip is coming up and she is unsure how the students will respond. The school trip will take place around Halloween and they will go camping for three days. She can imagine not every student will be excited about camping.

She has a few weeks left to figure out what she’ll do with Aden, since it’s not an option to back out of the school trip. Tomorrow when she brings her son to the daycare, she will ask Niylah if she can watch him during those three days, since that feels like the best option she has. Of course she will pay extra for that.

It’s close to midnight when she decides to call it a night and go to bed. Tomorrow she has to see if she can convince Niylah to babysit Aden during those three days and she will have to inform her students about the school trip. After school she needs to go buy a tent and a few little gadgets that will come in handy to go camping.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Octavia stares confused when she walk out the door and sees that Lexa and Ontari are waiting for her. “I was just going to walk to your place,” she says to Lexa.

“I crashed at Ri’s place,” Lexa explains. “Figured we’d pick you up before you’d go there for nothing.”

“You could have texted me, you know,” Octavia replies dryly.

“We should hurry before your mother sees us,” Ontari says. “We all know how happy she is about you being on a motorcycle.”

Octavia puts her helmet on and grabs Lexa’s hand, who pulls her up on her motorcycle behind her. “Thanks,” she says gratefully.

“Bet I’ll arrive first,” Lexa challenges Ontari. “Ten dollars.”

“No way,” Ontari replies, laughing lightly. “I’m so not betting with you on this one, you’re always faster.”

“I thought you enjoy losing bets,” Lexa teases.

“Fuck you, bitch,” Ontari laughs. “One of these days, commander.”

“I admire the way you dream.”

Ontari speeds up when Lexa takes off, trying to at least keep up with her.

When they reach the parking lot of their school, Lexa can see Luna is waiting for her. “Hey,” she says softly as she takes her helmet off.

“Mhm, hey,” Luna whispers before kissing Lexa. “I like your clothes.”

“They’re mine actually,” Ontari comments.

“You’ve got a good taste then.”

“Hear that, Lex? I’ve got a good taste,” Ontari says amusedly. “Your girl said so.”

“She’s not wrong,” Lexa replies. “You do have a good taste, Ri.”

“What about my clothes?” Octavia asks, showing off her skinny black pants and her rammstein shirt.

“No spikes today?” Lexa asks surprised. “Your outfit looks fine to me.”

“My mom caught me yesterday when I got home and she freaked out about the spikes,” Octavia explains. She mimics her mother’s facial expression, wide eyes and dropped jaw. “I told her I want to dress however I please.”

“Your mom needs to relax,” Ontari says. “How did that go for you?”

“Grounded, two weeks.”

“That’s shit,” Lexa says, feeling bad for Octavia’s situation.

“Way to go, grounder,” Ontari teases.

“Enough about me,” Octavia says, waving them off. “What’s up at your place, Lex?”

“I had an argument with Anya during dinner,” Lexa explains. She leans against the wall of the school building and tells her friends the whole story of what happened.

“You’re right,” Octavia says. “Anya doesn’t listen to you.”

“You could come to my place too, if you’d like,” Luna offers.

It did cross Lexa’s mind to go to Luna’s place, but she wasn’t sure if it would have been okay for her to stay over during the week, so that’s why she went to Ontari, knowing she’s welcome there anytime. “I’ll remember that, Lu.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning, students,” Clarke says loudly while they take their seats.

“Good morning, Miss Griffin.”

“I have news to share with you all,” Clarke begins. “There will be a school trip around Halloween.” She can see she is slowly getting everyone’s attention. “We will go camping for three days and activities will be organized.”

“There goes our annual Halloween party,” Ontari groans quietly.

“That sucks,” Lexa whispers, agreeing with Ontari. “It’s pretty much tradition.”

“What is this camping stuff anyway? Are we some kind of girl scouts now?”

Octavia laughs, but quickly masks it by coughing when the teacher stares at her.

“I will hand out permission slips,” Clarke explains as she takes them out of her briefcase. “A parent or a legal guardian needs to sign this, so you can go camping. Those who do not get them signed will be expected to attend school. A substitute will be provided.” She doesn’t want them to think that not going camping would give them three days to stay home.

“Great,” Ontari whispers to Lexa and Octavia. “Either we do that camping thing or we have school.” She thought if she wouldn’t go, she could go party instead.

“I say we go camping,” Octavia whispers back. She won’t tell her mother the part where if she doesn’t go camping, she’ll have school instead.

“We can split a tent,” Lexa whispers. “I still got that big one at home.”

“Silence,” Clarke warns, glancing at Lexa, Octavia and Ontari. “There is also a list about the items you need and the items that are prohibited,” she explains further. “Keep in mind that this is not some kind of vacation.”

“Cellphones prohibited,” Lexa reads aloud. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I assure you it is not a joke,” Clarke replies firmly. “No cellphones during the school trip.”

“You can’t seriously expect us not to bring our phone,” Ontari complains bluntly. “It’s three days.”

“Three days without your phone won’t be the end of the world.”

“Can’t we have our phones when it gets late?” Octavia tries.

When more students begin to argue, Clarke has heard enough of it. “By tomorrow you will all write me a five-hundred word essay about the meaning of the word prohibited,” she says firmly. “End of discussion or it will turn into a thousand words essay.”

Lexa grumbles quietly and snaps her pencil in half.

“Open your books where we left off,” Clarke instructs. She sees Lexa is sharing Ontari’s book. “Lexa, where is your book?”

“At home,” Lexa replies dryly without looking up.

Clarke wants to say something back, but she bites her tongue when it dawns on her that Lexa doesn’t seem to have her backpack with her. She sighs silently and decides not to ask about it, at least not in front of the whole class, which would be disrespectful. It worries her that the brunette may not have spent the night at home.

Lexa glances up when she’s surprised she didn’t get a reaction back, catching Clarke’s gaze in the process. She’s not sure if their eye-contact lasted for five seconds or five minutes when the blonde clears her throat and says something to the whole class.

When the class is coming to an end, Clarke signals for Lexa to stay for a bit and with the way the brunette sighs she can tell the silent ‘not again’ that’s written in her eyes.

“I’ll be in the cafeteria soon,” Lexa says to her friends, assuring them it’ll be fine.

Ontari lingers at the door for a moment, quickly glancing at Miss Griffin and then at Lexa. “I’ll keep a spot for you at our table,” she replies. “See you in _five_ minutes,” she adds, mostly to tell the teacher she’s expecting her friend back fast.

Lexa nods and contains her laugh when Octavia drags Ontari along to leave. “I will have my book with me next time,” she says calmly to Clarke. “This won’t happen again.”

“This is not about your book,” Clarke replies softly. “I noticed you didn’t bring your backpack with you today.”

“We all forget stuff sometimes, right? Won’t happen again.”

“What you said yesterday was important and you were right,” Clarke says. She doesn’t buy Lexa’s excuse about forgetting things, since she doesn’t believe the brunette forgot her backpack. “How do you feel at home?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa lies. She wonders why Clarke even asks her that.

There’s a knock on the door right before the door swings open.

“Hey,” Raven says. She was wondering why Clarke wasn’t in the teacher’s lounge yet. “Lexa, Anya has been worried about you.” She shakes her head and walks up to Lexa. “Roan called her last night to let her know you were spending the night with Ontari. It would have been nice if you would have personally informed her. She wanted to talk with you when you ran to your room while we were having dinner.”

Lexa fidgets with the hem of the shirt she is wearing and tries to stay calm, but it isn’t working well.

“It was harsh of you to compare her with your mother,” Raven goes on. “Anya cares a lot about you.”

“You have no right,” Lexa replies with a bite in her tone. She pushes past Raven and walks out of the classroom.

Raven shakes her head and turns to Clarke. “The way she has been acting lately is unbelievable.”

“You were out of line, Raven.”

“What?” Raven asks shocked. “Clarke, you can’t be serious.”

“It’s not your place to say those things to her,” Clarke replies, letting Raven know she is being serious. “As a teacher, it was unprofessional of you to mix your home life into this.”

“You’re my friend, why aren’t you on my side with this?”

“Because you’re wrong, Raven. Being your friend doesn’t mean I automatically agree with everything you do and say. You’re not Lexa’s parent or guardian in any way and you had no right to say those things to her.”

Raven shakes her head. “I can’t believe you’re siding with Lexa,” she says, shocked.

“I’m going to eat my lunch in the teacher’s lounge, while you let this one sink in,” Clarke says calmly. With that, she leaves the classroom and remembering Lexa doesn’t have her backpack, she hopes the brunette will have something to eat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't write Raven off just yet. Nobody is perfect, people make mistakes. :)


	10. Talking it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy. :)

Lexa angrily sits down next to Luna, seeing she saved a spot to her. She can feel her friend’s eyes on her, who are sitting in front of her next to each other.

“Bad moment with the teacher?” Octavia asks, picking up on Lexa’s body language.

“It wasn’t about not having my book with me,” Lexa replies, sighing.

“Then why did she make you stay a bit longer? Was it about the stuff you said during class? Cuz that wasn’t just you.”

“Miss Griffin said she noticed I don’t have my backpack on me,” Lexa explains. “She asked how things are at home.”

“That’s probably her way to connect some dots,” Ontari comments. “Maybe she cares or something.”

Lexa sighs and shrugs. “Who knows, perhaps she does,” she says indifferently. “Raven walked in.”

“Oh no,” Octavia says, hearing the edge in Lexa’s tone.

“What happened?” Luna asks, concerned.

“She was meddling with stuff about my cousin and about things I said yesterday.”

“What the fuck!?” Ontari replies, shocked. “Who the hell does she think she is?”

“Yeah,” Octavia agrees. “She’s not your mother or anything.”

“It’s whatever now,” Lexa says, dismissing it.

“I’ll share my lunch with you,” Luna says sweetly to Lexa. “You can have half.”

Lexa shakes her head. “You don’t have to do that, I’m good.”

“You can have some from mine as well,” Octavia offers.

“Yeah, Lex,” Ontari pitches in. “Take some from mine too.”

“Okay, fine,” Lexa relents. She wouldn’t mind waiting until after school, but she knows they’ll be persistent about it.

“Here you go,” Ontari says while handing Lexa a sandwich.

“Catch,” Octavia says as she holds an apple up. When Lexa seems ready, she throws it.

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Lexa says gratefully. She smiles when Luna hands her a bottle of Gatorade. In response she fists her shirt and pulls her closer to kiss her.

“Damn, she gets a kiss and we don’t,” Ontari teases, winking subtly.

“Oh hush,” Octavia says. “You already made out with Lexa once.”

“Shut up, O,” Lexa groans when she sees Luna giving her a questioning look. “That was one time, let it go.” She sighs and pulls her girlfriend close. “We were both drunk, it happened before we were together.”

“Half the school is interested in dating you,” Luna whispers.

“They can keep dreaming,” Ontari says reassuringly. “When Lex has a girl, she has a girl and that bitch is loyal as fuck.”

“Always the charmer, Ri,” Lexa comments, although what Ontari is saying is true. “You got nothing to worry about, Lu,” she confirms, wanting her girlfriend to hear it from her as well.

Octavia reads the list about the camping trip again while eating her lunch. “I can’t believe Miss Griffin is making us write an essay about what prohibited means,” she says, sighing. “Ugh five-hundred words, what the actual fuck.”

“I’d say she still barks more than she bites,” Ontari reckons. “That essay is total bull.”

“I’m not going to write one,” Lexa says with determination. “And I’m taking my phone with me. I mean, what will they do? Search us?”

“True that,” Octavia agrees. “We can put our phone in our bras.”

“I can get us some weed,” Ontari says. “That college girl can sell me some more.”

Lexa takes a bite out of her apple. “I’m down.”

“O?”

“Ditto that,” Octavia hums.

“I’ll pass,” Luna says. “It’s not my thing.”

Ontari smirks. “Okay, none for miss goodie two-shoes,” she says, shaking her head. “More for us then.”

“Does it bother you when I pass?” Luna whispers, asking Lexa.

“No, you do you,” Lexa whispers. “You don’t have to do exactly what we do or try to be like us. You’re good the way you are.” She wouldn’t want Luna to say yes if it would only be in order to fit in.

“We should get a couple of beers,” Octavia suggests.

“As if you’d be able to get them,” Lexa laughs. “I’ll get us a couple.”

“Fine,” Octavia sighs. “Ri brings the weed, you’ll bring the beers and I’ll bring us some of those small firecrackers. We can use them to spook some of the students,” she says sneakily.

“I could bring candy,” Luna offers.

“Hah, cute,” Ontari comments. “And then what? You’ll show up in a pink dress?” she teases. “Ouch!” she hisses when Lexa kicks her under the table. “Dammit Lex.”

Lexa winks at Luna, wraps one arm around her waist and pulls her onto her lap. “You know our code, Ri,” she says playfully.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ontari replies, groaning slightly. “Don’t mess with the commander’s girl.”

“I wouldn’t mess with yours either,” Lexa assures Ontari. She turns Luna around on her lap so they can kiss. Some of the loud cheers from the school cafeteria make her smile against her girlfriend’s lips.

“I wouldn’t mind some candy,” Octavia nonchalantly announces, nudging Ontari to talk.

“We should shop for our camping stuff together,” Ontari suggests. “You bitches better get that permission slip signed. I’m sure Roan will sign it, no problem.”

“I’ll tell my mother it is super educational or something,” Octavia decides. “In that case she won’t mind one bit and at least I’ll be out of the house for three days. Miss Griffin can say whatever she wants, but it sounds like a vacation to me.”

“It’ll be a relief to be gone for three days,” Lexa says, agreeing with Octavia. “Totally a vacation.” She realizes she’ll have to talk with Anya and get her to sign for the trip, which shouldn’t be an issue. “I need a favor from you guys.”

“Yeah?” Ontari asks.

“Name it and it’ll be done,” Octavia says.

“After school I need you to stall Raven,” Lexa explains. She can see her friends frown about her odd request. “I don’t care how you do it, but it needs to be at least half an hour.”

“Damn,” Octavia replies. “Half an hour? Not an easy task,” she says while thinking of how she’ll do that.

“I’m going to have a word with Anya after school,” Lexa goes on, explaining further. “So I don’t want Raven around at the same time.”

“You can count on us,” Ontari assures Lexa. “Consider it done.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Anya is sitting on the couch, waiting and hoping that Lexa will come home. She checks her watch and sees school must be over by now, although she knows her cousin tends to hang out with her friends for a while. It was a relief Roan called her last night to let her know Lexa was staying over at his place, so at least she knew her cousin was safe.

Last night she talked with Raven about how she was feeling and how blind she had been towards Lexa. Her girlfriend offered to have a word with her cousin at school, mentioning she’d see her, but she doesn’t want that. Something like that might only make matters worse, even though Raven means well, so she told her not to do that. This is something she has to talk out with Lexa.

When she hears a motorcycle approaching, she gets up from the couch. A few seconds later she lets out the breath she was holding when the front door opens and Lexa walks in.

“Lexa,” Anya says, running up to her. “I was worried,” she whispers. It’s tempting for her to hug Lexa, but she’s not sure if her cousin would respond will to that.

“I know,” Lexa replies. “So I’ve been told.”

Anya frowns slightly. “Told?” she asks, confused. “Told by who?”

“Raven told me,” Lexa says bitterly. When Anya asks her more about it, she repeats what happened at school, how Raven approached her and what she said.

Anya sighs deeply, not believing her ears, considering she told Raven not to meddle. She will store that for later and have a conversation with Lexa first. “Sit on the couch with me for a moment, okay?” she says calmly.

Lexa nods and walks over to the couch, sitting down.

“I haven’t been listening to you,” Anya begins. “I’m sorry I made you feel as if I was treating you the way your mother did.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Lexa replies sadly. “You were making me angry and I felt hurt, so I snapped. All you were hearing was the negative things and you didn’t acknowledge the positive things. You never asked me my opinions.”

“You’re right,” Anya admits. “It was never my intention to hurt you, Lexa,” she says earnestly. “You’re the only family I have and you mean the world to me.”

“You’ve been putting a great deal of pressure on me about my education. One bad grade and I wouldn’t hear the end of it and now that Raven lives here, she’s been on my case as well.”

“I remember the day you moved in with me like it was yesterday,” Anya whispers sadly with half a smile at the memory. She was twenty-four at the time when Lexa moved in with her, being thirteen at the time. “You were so angry at the world.”

“It was a fresh start for me,” Lexa says, remembering it too. It felt like she could breathe again, no longer having to live with her mother.

“I never meant to make you feel like I was neglecting you the way your mother did.”

“She was the sweetest,” Lexa says sarcastically. “The day where she got a new boyfriend, dropped me off at your doorstep and never returned was amazing.” She bites back her tears. “You’ve been so occupied with Raven and it feels as if I’m unwanted.”

Anya knows that what Lexa is saying is true and she fucked up by pouring so much attention towards Raven. “I’ll listen better from now,” she promises. “I don’t ever want to make you feel that way again.”

Lexa reaches into her pocket. “I need you to sign this permission slip,” she explains, changing the topic. “It’s for a school trip to go camping for three days around Halloween.”

“Okay,” Anya replies. She accepts the pen Lexa is handing her and signs the slip.

Lexa puts it back in her pocket and gets up from the couch. “I’m going to grab my backpack and I’m going to spend the rest of this week at Ontari’s place,” she announces softly. “I need some time away from here.”

Anya is sad to see Lexa leave again, but she understands that her cousin needs space.

Lexa hurries to grab some of her things in her room, wanting to leave before Raven comes home. “I’ll see you again soon.”

Anya pulls Lexa into a hug. “You’re welcome to come home when you like,” she whispers.

Lexa hugs Anya back for a few seconds and then wriggles herself loose. She will be back, but for now she needs a few days to let this all pass. Going out the door and getting on her motorcycle, she sees Raven getting home and she’s glad she got out on time. Without a single word, she takes off.   

 

 

* * *

 

 

Raven grumbles when she shuts the door behind her. Today didn’t go as planned at all, since all she wanted to do was help, but instead she made things worse with Lexa and as if that wasn’t enough, Clarke called her out on being wrong. Seeing the look on Anya’s face, she knows a storm is heading her way.

“Raven,” Anya says as calmly as possible. This time she doesn’t run up to Raven to kiss her and to ask about her day.

“I know,” Raven says, sighing. “I wanted to help.”

Anya scoffs and shakes her head. “I explicitly told you not to meddle, to stay out of this,” she says coldly, displeased. “It wasn’t your place to address Lexa like that, especially not at school.”

Raven feels helpless, having to hear again how it wasn’t her place. She knows she should have thought it through and shouldn’t have acted on impulse. “I’m sorry, Anya,” she says softly. “I made a mistake.”

“If I ask you to stay out of something, I want you to respect that.”

“You’re right,” Raven admits. “I should have respected your words.”

“I know you want to help, but this isn’t the way to do so,” Anya says calmly, not letting her temper rise. She knows Raven has good intentions and happened to make a mistake. “Lexa won’t be home for a few days.”

 “Wait what?” Raven asks surprised and shocked. “Lexa is not coming home tonight?” She has no idea what has been said while she wasn’t home yet, but she hopes nothing bad happened. In the end she wants Anya and Lexa to be okay, to be on good terms.

“She will be with her friends for a while,” Anya explains. “For now she needs that space, so I’ll give it to her.”

“Okay, that’s understandable,” Raven replies. “At least we’ll know she’s safe then, which is better than not knowing anything at all.”

“I’m glad she came home for a little bit to talk.”

“I can see now why Ontari and Octavia approached me when school was over,” Raven says, chuckling lightly to herself. “It surprised me how much interest they were suddenly showing in my class and how much questions they asked. They’re not even each other’s lab partner.”

Anya catches on to Raven’s thoughts and now it makes sense why Lexa got home a while before her girlfriend did. “I signed her permission slip for that camping trip,” she says, changing the topic now. “She didn’t tell me much about it, other than that it’s three days around Halloween.”

“Aren’t you lucky you’re dating me?” Raven teases. “I happen to know all about that camping trip.”

“Good, let’s talk about it over dinner,” Anya suggests. “We could go to that nice place two blocks away.”

“I like the way you think, babe. Their food is amazing.”

Together they walk up to the restaurant where they take a small table near the window.

“Okay so,” Raven says as she slides a list over the table. “This is which items the students have to bring and what they’re not allowed to bring,” she explains. “Of course there are also a few rules.” She points her finger at the bottom of the list. “Those are the rules.”

Anya nods and reads through the list, to get an idea of what Lexa has to bring and if perhaps she can buy something her cousin doesn’t have yet. “How many students are going on that camping trip?” she asks curiously.

“Only the juniors and the seniors,” Raven explains. “It’s something new the school is organizing and one of the goals is teambuilding. We want to see how well the students can function in a team context and thus partially prepare them for college and their later lives.”

“Okay, juniors and seniors,” Anya repeats, letting it sink in. “Sixteen and seventeen year olds then.”

“Yes, precisely,” Raven confirms. “There will be about forty students, give or take.”

“That’s quite a bunch of students,” Anya realizes. “How many teachers will be with them?”

“Eight teachers, so there will be one teacher per five students, more or less. That’s not all though,” Raven assures Anya. “There will be two forest rangers with us who know the area like the back of their hands. You’ve got nothing to worry about for that trip.”

“I worry more about you,” Anya says with a small laugh. She reads through the rules and prohibited items, and shakes her head. “I see they’re not allowed to have their phones on them, for one.”

“Well I didn’t make those rules,” Raven defends herself. “If it was up to me they can have their phones, as long as they participate properly in the activities. They’ll be getting walkie talkies.” She smiles when their food is being brought to them. “I used to be in the scouts when I was younger. You’ve got nothing to worry about, babe.”

“I bet the students are thrilled they’re not getting their Halloween party this year,” Anya says sarcastically.

“The camping trip will make up for that. They’ll have the time of their lives.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The camping trip will be coming up soon.


	11. Softer side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

“It was pretty neat of Anya to give you money so you can buy stuff for that camping trip,” Octavia says to Lexa. “My mom was so grumpy when I asked if I could have some money to buy things.”

“Your mother is grumpy about many things,” Ontari comments. “But yeah, I agree, neat of Anya to do that.”

Lexa nods, knowing her best friends are right. “I think Anya is trying to make amends,” she says thoughtfully, licking her lips. “It must be hard for her that I’ve been crashing at your place this week, Ri.” She knows her cousin has been missing her a lot and she has stayed in touch with her through texts.

“Adults can get really sentimental,” Ontari says as she shares a look with Lexa. “Roan actually hugged me when I told him I’ll be gone for three days around Halloween,” she explains to Octavia. “It was disgusting and he needs to get a grip. Once I’m off to college, I’ll be gone way longer than that.”

“I think it was sweet,” Lexa muses. It was funny to her how Ontari was grumbling while Roan only hugged her tighter. “He’s like a teddy bear or something all warm and whatnot, and you’re so icy.”

“We call her arctic for something,” Octavia suffices. “I’m not surprised Ri isn’t a fan of those tight hugs. My arm still hurts while I think about it.”

Ontari smirks devilishly. “You know I’m not much of a hugger, O,” she says earnestly. “You totally deserved that time I pinched your arm, you were squishing me.”

“My mom is even more sentimental than your brother though,” Octavia says, sighing. “She cried for half an hour when I told her that camping trip is three days.”

“Oh my god,” Lexa replies shocked. “That’s going to be interesting when you go to college with us.”

“Ugh yeah, tell me about it. I’m already stocking up on umbrellas for the waterworks.”

“Moms can be so wild,” Ontari comments. “Your mother is strict and super clingy when it comes to you. Damn, you can barely even go out in the weekend,” she sighs. “And Lex, your mother was charming enough to ditch you at Anya’s place when you were thirteen.”

“Quite messy,” Lexa hums while she agrees. Octavia and Ontari knew about it from day one, because they always tell each other pretty much everything. “It sucks that yours isn’t that great either, Ri,” she says while patting Ontari’s shoulder for a second.

“True,” Ontari agrees. She had fights with her mother all the time, never getting along and when she was eleven she said fuck it and ran away. That didn’t last long when the police found her and eventually she ended up living with Roan, considering she refused to live with her mother again. “College is going to be dope next year.”

Octavia takes a crumpled list out of her pocket. “I wrote down all the stuff we need,” she says, showing it to her friends. “That’s pretty much it, right?”

“Mhm yeah,” Lexa replies. “Looks like it.”

“I’ll have to see what I get,” Octavia says, knowing her budget is limited.

“I’ve got Roan’s credit card,” Ontari announces, grinning while she waves it around. “Shopping spree anyone?”

Lexa laughs and shakes her head. “Roan will lose his mind.”

“That’s what would make the shopping spree extra fun,” Ontari replies dryly. “Take whatever you want, O. I’ll pay for your stuff.”

“I can’t believe I’m always the one getting grounded,” Octavia says with a serious tone. “Roan is so easy on you, Ri.”

“Nah, this card has a limit. He said it’s cool if I’d get some stuff for my friends too.”

“We should pay our alcohol and stuff like that cash,” Lexa suggests. “We can get the rest with your card, Ri.”

“Good thinking,” Ontari replies. “Roan is sneaky as fuck. He’ll probably check what I’m buying with his credit card.”

“He sure wasn’t born yesterday,” Octavia comments, slightly impressed. “I’m glad I got cash.” She holds her dollar bills out to Lexa. “We know they won’t sell it to me,” she mutters displeased.

Lexa laughs and puts Octavia’s money in her wallet with her own money. “You do look younger than us and well, you are younger than us.”

“Only by some months,” Octavia defends herself. “I can’t believe you two always get away with stuff like that.”

“That one cashier toats fears us,” Ontari says, smirking. “Each time we walk in, she looks nervous and scans our stuff without saying anything.”

“That may be my fault actually,” Lexa admits. She looks at Octavia who doesn’t know the story behind that yet. “Okay so one time I walked in, opened my Swiss blade and used it to comb my hair back.”

Octavia’s jaw drops and she stares at Lexa. “Who the fuck does that to comb their hair?” she asks disbelievingly.

“Lex does,” Ontari replies, laughing. “I thought that cashier was going to faint.”

“I’m not surprised that cashier fears you then,” Octavia says to Lexa.

“I’ll be sleeping at home tonight,” Lexa announces calmly. She knows Anya has been missing her throughout this week and she did say she would be back, so it feels like the right time to go home again.

“It’s Saturday,” Ontari points out. “You’re sure you’re going to sleep home tonight?”

“I’ll probably be home late, but yeah I’m going home.”

“We should hang out tonight,” Octavia suggests.

Lexa raises one eyebrow and places her hand on her hip. “Didn’t your mother ground you because you were home an hour too late last night?” she asks curiously, remembering the texts she received from Octavia, who complained about how she got grounded. They had all spend a big part of their night at Ontari’s place, which had been fun.

“Yeah,” Octavia groans. “She has no chill. I’m allowed to buy stuff for the camping trip, but I can’t go out at night for a month,” she explains, although that won’t stop her. “I’ll sneak out of my window. All I need is a lift.”

“We’ll wait for you around the corner at nine,” Ontari replies. “What do you think, Lex?”

“Nine sounds good to me,” Lexa agrees. “Maybe Lu wants to come with us, I’ll text her.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“He’s so cute,” Raven coos while ruffling Aden’s hair. “We could organize a little party when he turns two,” she suggests. “I already bought him some toys and clothes.”

Anya laughs as she sees Clarke smiling while shaking her head. “I couldn’t stop her,” she explains amusedly. “We were at a store a few days ago and she had to buy it. Try as I might, she was very persistent and there was no way convincing her otherwise.”

“I have been practicing a few cake recipes,” Clarke admits. “I’d like to bake a birthday cake for him, rather than buying one somewhere.” She has been getting slightly better at it and it would give her a feeling of satisfaction if she can bake his cake. “I’m going to try to make the best chocolate cake ever.”

“I can give you my recipe for chocolate cake,” Raven kindly offers.

“That’s an offer I wouldn’t deny,” Anya says. “Raven’s chocolate cake is amazing.”

“Oh I remember,” Clarke replies, agreeing. “She brought some to school once. It was orgasmic.” She wouldn’t say that if she didn’t truly mean it. “Don’t buy too much toys and clothes for Aden though,” she playfully warns. “He only has one bedroom to put it all in.”

“Waven,” Aden mumbles while stretching his arms out. “Up, up!”

“You melt my heart,” Raven whispers as she picks Aden up and kisses his cheeks.

Anya smiles fondly at Raven, adoring the way she is with Aden. “Where are you going to have his birthday party?” she asks Clarke. “At your place?”

“I considered doing that, but if I’m inviting people my place will get too small too fast.”

“Maybe we could have his party here,” Raven suggests. “It’s bigger here, more space.”

“I don’t want to impose,” Clarke replies, holding her hands up and waving it off. “There are a few good locations where I can have a party for him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Anya says, smiling softly. “You wouldn’t be imposing at all. You’re welcome to have his party here.”

“How would Lexa feel about that?” Clarke asks. She doesn’t randomly want to accept having Aden’s party here if there is a chance Lexa would be opposed to it.

“I will ask her,” Anya replies, thinking about Clarke’s words. “Once I know, I’ll let you know. It is possible she won’t be home while we celebrate Aden’s birthday, considering she hangs out with her friends a lot.”

Raven holds Aden out to Anya. “Can you take him for a second? I’m going to put the cookies on the table,” she says softly. “Clarke, do you want coffee or something?”

“Coffee and cookies?” Clarke asks. “I wouldn’t say no to that.”

Anya places Aden on her hip and strokes his cheek. “Hello sweetheart,” she whispers. “You’re so beautiful, like your mommy. And you have pretty eyes.”

Clarke overhears Anya whispering to Aden and the part about pretty eyes brings her back to that day where her son said she has pretty eyes, which was new and quite odd. It still puzzles her who Aden learned that from, but she assumes it could have been from Lexa, who was at her place at the time.

“Three weeks to go and then we’re off for that camping trip,” Raven says, sighing slightly while putting coffee and cookies on the kitchen table. She’s going to miss Anya during those days, but it is something she’ll have to deal with. “I wonder how the students will react.”

“I’m curious about that too,” Clarke says. She takes a seat and blows over her steaming cup of coffee. “It will be the first time for me, since it is my first year as a teacher.”

“I’ve been on a few school trips with students,” Raven says. “The first time I was nervous, but it wasn’t bad.”

“I think Lexa is looking forward to it,” Anya says, assuming she’s right. “She’s out with her friends today to buy their things for the camping trip.” She carefully puts Aden down so he can play.

“Did you find a solution of what you’ll do with Aden while we’re on that camping trip?” Raven asks Clarke. She has talked it through with Anya and if Clarke can’t find anyone, Anya will watch Aden.

Clarke slowly takes a sip from her coffee, knowing Raven won’t shut up once she tells her. “Niylah will take care of him during those days,” she replies while not meeting Raven’s eyes. “She smiled when I asked her and said she had one condition.”

“Oh really?” Raven asks. “What was her condition?”

“Her condition is that she gets to take me out on a date.”

“Awesome, two flies in one hit,” Raven replies excited. “It’s about time you’d date someone and Niylah is amazing with Aden.”

“I know she’s amazing with him,” Clarke says, well aware of that fact. “Can we talk about something else now?” She doesn’t want to talk all about her dating life or the fact that is pretty much non-existent.

“I heard your students had to write a five-hundred words essay about the meaning of the word prohibited,” Anya says while looking at Clarke.

“Wow, really?” Raven asks, genuinely surprised. When Clarke nods to confirm she is even more surprised. “I had no idea you did that.”

Clarke knows she hadn’t told Raven, but it wasn’t actively on her mind. “I received complains about the prohibited items during the camping trip. At first I tried to silence them, of course,” she explains. “When they didn’t, I gave them the task to write an essay about it.”

Raven shakes her head. “Unbelievable,” she says, still surprised. “Babe, you knew and you didn’t tell me?” she asks Anya.

“Lexa texted me about it. I forgot to tell you.”

“It’s okay,” Raven assures Anya. She doesn’t necessarily need to know everything. “You have to try these chocolate chip cookies, Clarke,” she says whilst pointing at a plate of cookies. “They’re delicious.”

“While I try them you can write down your chocolate cake recipe for me.”

“Haha, you got it,” Raven laughs. She gets up to grab a piece of paper and a pen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa opens the door and has a tightlipped smile when she sees Aden running up to her.

“Lessa!!” Aden shouts happily.

Lexa scoops Aden up and tickles him. “Hey, Aden,” she says. “I didn’t know you were here, little buddy.” She walks into the kitchen with Aden still in her arms.

“Lexa,” Anya says, surprised when she sees her cousin. She didn’t think Lexa would come home yet and assumed she would come home tomorrow, when the weekend is over. “It’s nice to see you.”

“Anya,” Lexa replies, glad to see her cousin again. “Raven,” she says calmly, nodding in her direction. Lastly her eyes land on Clarke. “Miss Griffin,” she says respectively.

“Hello, Lexa,” Clarke replies with a smile. “I was just about to go home,” she says, acting indifferent. Even though that wasn’t her plan, she doesn’t want to make Lexa uncomfortable.

“Don’t leave on my accord,” Lexa says calmly. “I’m only staying for a few hours,” she explains to Anya. “Tonight I’m going out with my friends and then I’m coming home again.”

“Okay,” Anya replies, simply happy to have Lexa home again. “Did you get everything for your camping trip?”

“I got most of it,” Lexa says, knowing she doesn’t have everything yet. “Ontari called Roan and he picked it up at the store for us since it was too much to handle with our motorcycles.”

“Do you need some money for tonight?” Anya asks, already about to reach for her wallet.

“No thanks, I still got some,” Lexa replies gratefully. “I’ll manage.”

Clarke smiles while watching Aden playing with Lexa’s hair and how much at ease the brunette appears. It still amazes her how Lexa isn’t a babysitter and isn’t considering being one.

“I’m going to make some more coffee,” Raven says. “Lexa, would you like a cup?”

“Yeah, that would be nice, thanks. I’m going to put my backpack in my room and I’ll be back.”

“I can take Aden for a while,” Anya says, stretching her arms out to take him over for Lexa. She can imagine her cousin would want some space to put her things away.

“Nah it’s fine, I got him. He barely weighs anything,” Lexa says. “Do you mind?” she asks Clarke while looking at her.

“No, I don’t mind,” Clarke replies softly. It puzzles her yet again when Lexa walks off to her room with Aden.

“Aden must be a special little guy,” Anya says, smiling brightly. “Lexa _never_ lets anyone in her room, unless it’s her best friends or someone she’s dating.”

It sparks Clarke’s interest why Lexa would make an exception for Aden, since she doesn’t have to. Her son could have stayed in the kitchen with them, with his toys.

“He’s adorable and irresistible,” Raven says. “Have you looked at his cute little face? Can’t say no to that.”

“He sure has some charms,” Clarke admits. “Anya, would you mind if I go take a look?” she asks politely, not wanting to overstep.

Anya understands Clarke’s motherly concern. “Not at all,” she replies kindly.

Clarke walks up to Lexa’s room and knocks on her door. She waits for Lexa to allow her in, before entering.

Lexa is sitting cross-legged on her bed with Aden in front of her. “Oh no, your dinosaur is stronger than mine,” she whispers, gasping lightly. “Rawr, I will bite you.”

Aden giggles and moves his dinosaur to take down the much taller dinosaur Lexa is holding.

Clarke lingers at the door and is endeared to see Lexa playing with Aden and letting him win, even though his dinosaur is ridiculously tiny. “You two look like you’re having fun,” she whispers, carefully entering Lexa’s room further.

“He showed me his awesome dinosaurs,” Lexa whispers. “I think he would like it a lot if you’d play with us.” She holds a duck out to Clarke instead of a dinosaur.

Clarke accepts the duck from Lexa and for a split second their fingers brush while their eyes meet.

“Wwaww,” Aden roars, moving his dinosaur around.

“Rawr,” Clarke roars back, lightly bumping the duck she’s holding against Aden’s dinosaur.

Lexa chuckles by Aden’s cuteness level, who seems to have it from Clarke. “Who is my buddy?” she asks.

Aden offers Lexa a toothy grin and points at himself.

“That’s right,” Lexa says proudly. “High five, little buddy.” She holds her hand up and melts when Aden remembers the movement and gives her the softest of high fives.

“Now I see who he got that from,” Clarke says, finally having the cat out of the bag.

“Aden is smart and you’d be surprised how much he can pick up on, even at his young age. He’s almost two, isn’t he?”

“Yes, almost,” Clarke replies, nodding her head as she answers. “I was talking with your cousin earlier about his birthday party. She suggested it could be organized here, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“That’s fine, his birthday can be held here,” Lexa replies oddly calm. She doesn’t see any issue with that, because it is not as if Clarke would be living here. “I do have one condition though,” she adds thoughtfully.

Clarke wonders in the back of her head why everyone keeps having conditions when she asks something. Though she doesn’t have to worry about being asked out by Lexa, since the brunette is dating someone, so it can’t be anything awkward. “What is your condition?” she finally asks when Lexa doesn’t seem to tell her.

“I want to be invited for his birthday party. Wouldn’t want to miss my little buddy turning two.”

“Silly,” Clarke chuckles, not thinking about what she just said. “Of course you’re invited, you live here.” She’s not going to kick Lexa out or anything during the party, because that would be absurd.

“I’m silly?” Lexa asks, pretending to be offended. “You’re the one holding a duck, pretending it’s a dinosaur.”

“You’re never too old to use your imagination,” Clarke retorts instantly, without missing a beat.

“Touché.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The camping trip will be coming up soon.


	12. Going camping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter, so I decided to post it today instead of tomorrow. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Anya, you’re smothering me,” Lexa grumbles. She sighs when Anya hugs her even tighter in response rather than letting go. “It’s only three days, then I’ll be back,” she assures her cousin. “If you don’t let go I might actually be late.”

“I’m going to miss you, Lexa,” Anya whispers. She gives Lexa one last tight hug before letting her go. Deep down she knows that once this school year is over her cousin will be off to college, which will be even harder.

“You’ll have the place to yourself,” Lexa points out. “Now you can do anything you want, like walking around naked without traumatizing me,” she teases whilst shuddering at the memory.

“I’m still sorry about that,” Anya says earnestly and guiltily. “I had no idea you’d be home early that day.”

“Of all the women I’d love to see naked, you weren’t one of them,” Lexa says wryly. “You look good, but I’d rather see you with clothes on, cous.”

“For your own safety you might want to text me when you’re about to get home,” Anya says thoughtfully, not wanting to spook Lexa again.

“It’s prohibited to bring my phone, it’s on the list.”

“Right and I was born yesterday,” Anya retorts with a wink.

Lexa laughs lightly, because she knows that her cousin knows her better than that. “I’ll text you when the camp is over.”

“One last hug?” Anya asks, trying to convince Lexa by pouting a little.

“You’ve been really affectionate lately,” Lexa notes while silently giving in and hugging Anya again. “If you ever hug me in front of my friends I’ll move to the other side of the world,” she jokes, although she doesn’t want that to happen.

“I won’t hug you in front of your friends,” Anya promises.

“Okay, I have to go pick Luna, I told her I would,” Lexa says calmly, peeling herself away from their hug. “Raven, you didn’t see anything.”

Raven smiles and shakes her head. “I didn’t even hear anything,” she replies.

“I’ll see you at school,” Lexa says to Raven. She hurries out the door to go pick up Luna and meet up with her friends at school, where they have to gather before leaving for their camping trip. Lately it has been a bit nicer for her at home, since Anya and Raven took it down a notch.

“About time,” Octavia says when she sees Lexa walking up to her motorcycle. She leans back a little, but not too far so she wouldn’t fall.

“I thought we’d meet up at school,” Lexa retorts. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but this isn’t school.”

“Small change of plans,” Ontari says, grinning. “Let’s go pick up your girl.”

Lexa clicks her helmet on and swings her leg over her motorcycle. She nods at Ontari and grins when her friend takes off, causing Octavia to suddenly wrap her arms around her.

“Ri, you bitch!” Octavia shouts. She didn’t think Ontari would suddenly take off like that.

Lexa speeds up a bit to surpass Ontari, as she always does. When she reaches Luna’s house, she can see her girlfriend is already waiting for her.

“Heyyy!” Luna shouts while she waves at them.

Lexa grips Luna’s forearm and helps her to get on her motorcycle.

“Five minutes left,” Octavia announces as she glances at her watch.

“Better hold on tight,” Ontari warns. “Shit’s about to get real.”

Lexa makes sure Luna has her arms tightly wrapped around her waist before she takes off, speeding after Ontari who is hell-bent on trying to win for once. When three minutes later she is the first to arrive, she can hearing Ontari cursing out loud.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke peppers Aden’s cheeks with kisses. “Mommy is going to miss you so much,” she whispers while trying not to cry. She has never been away from her son for this long and she knows it is only three days, but it feels so much longer. “I love you, my angel,” she says sweetly from the bottom of her heart. Aden means the world to her and leaving him is always a tough task to go through, this time in particular.

“I wuv u, mommy,” Aden replies softly.

“Niylah is going to take good care of you for a while, but I’ll be back,” Clarke assures Aden. “I’ll be back soon. For now you can have fun with Niylah.”

“Ni-Ni!”

Clarke smiles and gently hands Aden over to Niylah. “Please take good care of my son,” she pleads. “If anything happens, call me.” She knows she’s breaking the rules by bringing her phone, but she’s not going to go without it, in case an emergency happens.

“He is in good hands,” Niylah assures Clarke. “I will call you if it is necessary.”

“He likes it when you read him a bedtime story before he goes to sleep. His ducks, his dinosaurs and his blocks are his favorite toys. He likes to eat-”

“Clarke,” Niylah cuts Clarke’s off. “I know which toys Aden likes the most and which things he likes to eat. You will see him again in three days. It’s going to be okay.”

“Thank you for doing this, Niylah,” Clarke says gratefully. “I really appreciate this.” She turns around and leaves, ready to make her way to school. The second she is outside, a tear escapes her. This hurts more than the first time she left Aden at the daycare.

“Hey, come here,” Raven says, wrapping her arms around Clarke. “It’s going to be okay. Niylah has taken care of Aden so many times she really knows what she’s doing.” She had been waiting outside, so they can go to school together.

“I know, but I’ve never been away from him for this long. What if he thinks I abandoned him?”

“Aden knows you love him very much,” Raven assures Clarke. “He will see you again in three days and he’ll be excited to see you.”

“You’re right,” Clarke admits. “Okay, I’m ready to go.” She gets into Raven’s car and fastens her seatbelt. “How are you feeling about being away from Anya for three days?”

“It’s not going to be easy, but in the end it’s only three days. This camping trip could be a lot of fun and we’ll sure be busy with all the activities and watching the students.”

“I don’t have any classes with the juniors,” Clarke says, thinking about how she doesn’t know half of the students who are going on this camping trip. “You have classes with them, right?”

“Yes, I see them more than the seniors,” Raven replies. She remembers how a year ago, she had Lexa in her class a lot, much to Lexa’s chagrin. “I already know which ones the rebels are.”

“Good, then you can tell me all about it on our way to school.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

When the school bell rings, all students go inside, aside from the juniors and the seniors for their camping trip.

“Thanks,” Ontari mumbles to Roan who drops off the rest of their luggage.

“I didn’t hear you,” Roan teases, cupping his hand behind his ear. “What was that?”

Ontari groans and punches her fist against Roan’s arm.

“Thank you, Roan,” Lexa says with a smile.

“Now we have all our stuff,” Octavia says while rubbing her hands together. “This trip is going to be neat.”

“Gather here please!” Raven shouts loudly at the students, motioning for them to approach. “Move it!”

After shouting a few more times, the students gather around like they’re supposed to.

“Attention juniors and seniors,” the principal says through a megaphone. “If any of you have prohibited items, now is the time to give them up. To your right Miss Plum will collect items such as your phone. Anyone who brings prohibited items and gets caught will receive detention.”

Clarke nervously sweats a bit and stares at her phone in her hand. As a teacher she has to give a good example, but she doesn’t want to go without her phone. If Aden gets sick, Niylah has to be able to reach her. Some guilt washes over her, because she made her students write a five-hundred words essay about the meaning of the word prohibited when they argued about wanting to bring their phones. She’s slightly startled when someone brushes against her arm.

“You can hide your phone in your bra,” Lexa whispers quietly. “I won’t tell if you won’t either.” She had seen Clarke staring at her phone as if her life depends on it and of course she put two and two together. Aden is a lucky little guy to have a parent who loves and cares for him dearly.

Clarke opens her mouth to speak, but Lexa is already moving away from her. She looks around and quickly pretends as if she is readjusting her bra, while hiding her phone in it. If she catches a student with their phone, she will pretend like her nose is bleeding, since it would be hypocritical to take it away while she has hers.

Some students and teachers walk over to Miss Plum, as instructed by the principal and give up their prohibited items.

The principal taps the megaphone and continues. “The school bus at the front is for the juniors and the second school bus is for the seniors. Those who do not have permission to go will stay here with Miss Plum. Enjoy your camping trip!”

Clarke clears her throat and waves her hands up in the air. “Gather here, seniors,” she says loudly. She folds a list open with the names of the seniors on it. “When you step on the bus, I will check your name on the list,” she explains.

“One at a time,” Raven warns. She stands near the doors of the bus and watches the students get on the bus.

Clarke checks their names off, with the help of Raven who calls names out so she doesn’t have to look up from her list all the time.

Lexa, Octavia, Ontari and Luna are the last ones to get on the bus.

When Clarke gets on the bus, to sit next to Raven in the front near the bus driver, she notices how Lexa is sitting all the way at the back with her friends, despite having gotten on the bus last. She can imagine the other students didn’t bother to sit there, because she can tell they look up to Lexa and her little clique.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’ve put the bottles of alcohol in my sleeping bag,” Lexa whispers to her friends. “Most of it is vodka.”

“Good call,” Octavia whispers. “At least it’ll look like we’re drinking water, from a distance.”

“I’ve put our bags of weed in my pillow case,” Ontari whispers.

“How much weed did you get?” Lexa asks curiously.

“Let’s just say it wouldn’t be a problem if the other students want to join us,” Ontari replies with a smirk on her face. She made sure they’ll have more than enough. “It’s three days and nights, wouldn’t want to run out of it.”

“Nice,” Octavia whispers impressed. “It kind of sucks that our last night on this trip is our Halloween night.”

“Mhm,” Lexa agrees. “That does suck,” she sighs. “I hope they won’t do any childish ghost hunts or whatever.”

“Who knows,” Octavia whispers. “It could be anything. They did say there will be a lot of teamwork with activities and whatnot.”

“I thought this camping trip would only be for seniors,” Ontari says. “It’s odd the juniors are joining as well. Not like we had this a year ago.”

“How long did they say this bus trip is going to take?” Lexa asks. “I know the principal was saying a bunch of stuff, but I didn’t listen.”

“An hour or two,” Luna suffices. “It will still be morning when we arrive there, so we’ll have more than enough time to put our tents up.”

“You can sleep in our tent if you want,” Lexa offers. “We’ve got enough space. You could sleep close to me.”

“Hmm,” Luna replies, thinking. “They didn’t say anything about if we can share tents or not.”

Ontari clears her throat. “Hey teach!” she shouts loudly. “Are we allowed to share a tent with others?” If the answer is no, she’ll still do it regardless.

“Girls can share with girls,” Raven replies. “But girls can’t share with guys. They have to sleep separately.” The principal briefed the teachers and made it clear girls and guys can’t share a tent because they want to avoid sending a girl home pregnant.

“That’s not fair!” One student shouts, quickly followed by a few others agreeing. “The lesbians and the gays get to sleep together, why can’t we?”

Ontari grins and high fives Lexa and Octavia. “Hear that, O?” she whispers. “If you hook up with a girl, you’re set.”

“Rules are rules,” Raven says with a strict tone. She knows it doesn’t sound fair because same sex couples are allowed to share, but rules are rules. Hearing their complaints, she can’t wait to hear how they will react once they find out they will be split into groups.

Octavia fishes a stack of cards out of her pocket. “Want to play?” she asks her friends. “We’ll be on this bus for a while.”

“Sure, I’ll play,” Lexa replies. “I wish I could have gone on my motorcycle rather than taking this bus.”

“Same,” Ontari agrees.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The school busses stop on a sandy road, near the forest where the camping trip will take place. Two rangers already await them. The teachers gather all the students, once again checking their names on the list. Once they’re sure they still have everyone, they follow the rangers into the forest towards a few big open spots.

“These are the rangers who will be joining us,” Clarke says loudly, while pointing at them. “Lincoln and Wells.”

“Fuck,” Octavia whispers. “I want some of that.”

“Some of what?” Ontari asks, whispering.

“Lincoln looks hot.”

“I’m not seeing it,” Lexa whispers. She chuckles when Octavia rolls her eyes at her.

“Each teacher has a list with names,” Raven says, about to explain what will happen next. “When your name is called, you will put your tent up near the teacher who has your name on their list.” It has been agreed that each teacher will put their tent up in one of the open spots.

“What?” Lexa replies, not believing her ears. “We don’t need a babysitter.”

“This is for your own safety,” Clarke says. It helps how each teacher has a few students they have to keep an eye on, to make it all run smoother. The teachers discussed it at school for quite a while and eventually divided the students. Since this is her first year as a teacher, Raven will be watching over a group with her.

“During small group activities, you will have your activity with the teacher you are assigned to,” Raven explains. “For some two groups will be put together. Juniors and seniors will be mixed.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ontari groans.

“Group one will be with Miss Griffin and me,” Raven explains. “When Miss Griffin calls your name, you will approach us and put your tent up near ours over there,” she says while pointing at an empty space on their left.

Lexa holds Luna close to her and clenches her jaw. If she’s being split from her friends and her girlfriend, she won’t be happy at all.

Clarke clears her throat and looks briefly at the students who are waiting in anticipation to hear which groups they’ll be divided into. “Lexa,” she calls out, reading the first name on her list. No teachers argued with Raven and her about Lexa being in their group.

Lexa sighs and walks over to Raven and Clarke. “Lovely,” she mumbles sarcastically. Even in the forest she can’t escape Raven, so this is going well.

Clarke pretends she didn’t hear Lexa and goes on. A few names in her group had been requested by her and the few juniors are students Raven selected, since she doesn’t know them. “Octavia,” she calls out. She smiles when Octavia cheers and when she calls Ontari next and hears her cheer too, she knows she did the right thing by requesting them in her group, knowing that splitting them would cause issues. “Luna.”

Lexa is relieved when her best friends and her girlfriend are called in the same group. Okay, perhaps it won’t be so bad that Raven is the group leader with Clarke. If Raven can stay out of her hair as much as possible, that would be appreciated.

“Costia,” Clarke calls out, calling the fifth and last senior for her group. The next five are juniors. Each teacher has five students to watch, but since she will lead a group with Raven, they have ten students to watch.

“Oh my god,” Ontari whispers to her friends. “I can’t believe they’re putting that nerd with us.”

Lexa silently stares at her ex, but the moment Costia looks at her, she turns away to look at Luna. She barely registers Clarke calling out five juniors to join their group. “We can set our tent up there,” she says, nodding her head towards the far left end of their space. It’s about the furthest they can get away from their teachers, or at least the furthest that’s allowed. She watches Costia dragging her things towards the other end of the space they have, right next to where Clarke and Raven are putting their tent down.

“Mind if we put our tent next to yours?” a girl asks Lexa.

Lexa looks at the girl who has another girl standing next to her. “Do whatever you want,” she replies indifferently. “Just don’t bother us.”

The girl laughs lightly. “Nice to meet you too, Lexa,” she says. “I’m Trisha, but my friends call me Tris.” She points at the girl next to her. “And this is Emori, my best friend, but I call her Em,” she explains and smiles. “That girl over there is Lola,” she says while pointing at the last girl of their group. “She’s our friend and we call her Lol.”

“Who are those two?” Octavia asks while pointing at two guys who are in their group as well.

“Jasper and Monty,” Emori answers. “I think Miss Reyes put us all in the same group on purpose, because we tend to lack rules. Jasper and Monty aren’t that bad, but they pull tricks often.”

“In that case they should kick Costia out of our group,” Ontari says dryly.

Lexa works on putting her tent up, with Ontari’s help while Octavia digs through their luggage for their sleeping bags. She can see Raven about to say something but visibly changing her mind when she puts the tent up a few inches further than what was agreed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more chapters about the camping trip.   
> I know the slow-burn bugs some, but alas it's a slow-burn so patience is needed.   
> In the story they are two months in, which isn't much.


	13. Rope parkour

“It looks like it’ll be tight,” Octavia comments once their sleeping bags are in their tent along with the rest of their stuff. “We could cuddle a bit.”

“You can try if you like my fist in your face,” Ontari teases. “You know I’m not the cuddly type.”

“I’ll take the left side with Lu,” Lexa says. “You two can stick to the right.”

“Costia is staring at us,” Octavia whispers, nodding her head towards the tent across from them. “It looks like the teachers helped her to put her tent up.”

“She probably couldn’t do it,” Ontari wonders aloud. “I bet she never went camping before, not even close,” she grumbles and looks away from Costia.

“I kind of pity those dudes for having to put their tent near the teachers’ tent,” Octavia says. She knows that’s because they already took this side and so did Trisha, Emori and Lola with their tent.

“Haha yeah,” Ontari agrees. “Sucks for them.”

Lexa looks around at the other teachers with their groups, who have all been putting their tents up as well. She’s glad Raven and Clarke have their tent up about fifty feet away from them, and the other groups have theirs even further away.

“It’s weird that we’ll have to share this walkie,” Octavia says while staring at the device. Their group got four walkies and of course the teachers all have one as well.

“If we talk in that thing our group can hear us,” Ontari says. She saw Trisha, Jasper and Costia got a walkie talkie as well.

“And the rangers,” Lexa adds.

“We could scream into it in the middle of the night,” Octavia says, laughing. “I wonder who would scream the loudest in response, the girls next to us, the boys, Costia or the teachers.”

“I bet Costia would flip the fuck out,” Ontari says with a grin. “Doesn’t she hate Halloween?”

“Yes, she hates it,” Lexa answers. She remembers how Costia doesn’t like anything scary, so their Halloween night during this camping trip might be interesting.

“Attention for a moment,” Clarke calls out, waving at her group to gather around her.

Lexa crosses her arms and stares briefly at Raven, who seems oddly quiet for the time being. She rolls her eyes when Monty and Jasper keep laughing while pushing each other, up to the point where Clarke has to reprimand them.

“Now as you know, Miss Reyes and I are your leaders,” Clarke says. “Each group needs to have one student who has to watch over activities going well and has to motivate their group.”

“You want one of us to be a group leader?” Octavia asks.

“A team leader, yes,” Clarke replies. “It is up to you to decide who that team leader will be,” she explains. “Keep in mind that this is an extra responsibility.”

“It doesn’t have to be the oldest in the group,” Raven adds, since it is an important detail. “You have five minutes to decide as a group who your team leader will be.”

Clarke steps away for a moment with Raven, so their group has some space to discuss a leader.

“Lex, you should be the leader,” Octavia says.

“I agree,” Ontari chimes in. “If you don’t want to, I would.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Lexa replies calmly. “I could be the team leader. Anyone got any issues with that?”

Ontari laughs at how fast the rest of their group agrees to let Lexa be their leader. Of course they wouldn’t dare to disagree, since nobody messes with their little gang.

Raven and Clarke aren’t surprised when Lexa is called out as the team leader. They saw that coming from a mile away.

“Today our first activity is a rope parkour,” Clarke explains. “We will follow the rangers who will take us there.”

“Awesome,” Lexa says to her friends.

“I’m glad mister handsome is coming with us,” Octavia whispers, lusting over Lincoln. “He can keep an extra watch on me tonight if he wants to.”

“Gross,” Ontari whispers. “Calm your tits, for fucks sakes.”

“I’m too gay to hear this,” Lexa silently groans. “I thought you had better taste than that, O.”

Octavia chuckles and shakes her head. “I’d say Miss Griffin agrees with me,” she comments, noticing how Miss Griffin is chatting with ranger Wells.

Lexa sees Clarke laughing at something Wells said and playfully slap his arm. It’s disgusting to watch, so she looks away and slings her arm around Luna’s shoulder. “I hope that rope parkour is good,” she says, sharing her thoughts.

“It could be a competition,” Luna says. “Perhaps they want to see which group can finish the parkour the fastest.”

“If that’s true then we’re going to fucking win this,” Ontari says with determination. She looks at the rest of their group. “I swear if any of you slow us down I’ll cut you.”

“Highly motivating speech there, Ri,” Octavia says sarcastically. “You really know how to give a pep talk.”

“This is the first time Ri has so much motivation with something related to school,” Lexa comments.

“You’re forgetting our gym classes,” Ontari retorts dryly. “If this is a competition then we have to win.”

“I’m down if Lincoln is the price,” Octavia says.

Lexa throws a bottle of water at Octavia. “Don’t get dehydrated, you’re hella thirsty,” she says with a wink.

“I bet I can get someone before O does,” Ontari says, sure of her skills. “Tonight even if I’d want to.”

“Ha,” Octavia replies. “No way,” she disagrees. “Sucks it didn’t work out with that college girl of yours though.”

“Don’t mention it, some things aren’t meant to be that’s all.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“The group who can do this parkour the fastest wins,” Raven says loudly. She hears mixed reactions from the students. “What matters is good teamwork.”

“You were right about the competition part,” Lexa says to Luna.

“We gotta win this,” Ontari says. “Wait, group… Miss Reyes and Miss Griffin don’t count, do they?”

Octavia shrugs. “Beats me.”

“Do the groups include the teachers?” Lexa asks, to at least get them an answer.

“Yes,” Clarke replies. She can already see the displeased looks from the students.

“Each student needs to grab a helmet and be secured first,” Raven explains. “Otherwise you won’t be allowed on the parkour.” They can’t have anyone falling down and breaking their leg.

Clarke sighs silently while putting her helmet on. “I hope I don’t slow our group down,” she whispers to Raven. “From their faces I can tell they wouldn’t be happy.”

“It’ll be fine,” Raven assures Clarke. She’s definitely ready for this, having done stuff like this before many times. “Even if our group doesn’t win, it is also important to see how they would deal with losing.”

Lexa waits for her group to start with the parkour. She’s glad to see Raven going first, so she doesn’t have to be directly behind her or anything. When her group is on it, she looks at Clarke who hasn’t gone on it yet. “I’m going last,” she says calmly.

“Okay,” Clarke agrees, not wanting to argue about it. She takes a deep breath and starts the parkour, being directly behind Octavia.

Lexa starts last and follows Clarke closely, quickly noticing the blonde is slower than the others. “First time?” she asks knowingly.

“Yes,” Clarke replies. “Is it that obvious?”

“Only a little,” Lexa says with a smile on her face. She can see how nervous and tense Clarke is. “Don’t look down,” she advises.

“I can see Ontari is very motivated to win,” Clarke comments, seeing how Ontari is nearly pushing Raven to move faster, even though she is already going fast.

“Oh yes, she had an amazing pep talk for us all actually. It’s a shame you didn’t hear it.”

Clarke takes a few more deep breaths and slowly moves her wire along. She doesn’t want to end up dangling, but the pieces where she has to jump a little bit are tricky.

Lexa can see Clarke is struggling with certain bits. “Hold still, I’ll move past you,” she says softly. If she walks in front of the blonde, she might be able to help her a bit with the tougher parts.

As Lexa passes her, Clarke can see they are a bit behind on their group and she knows it is her fault for being so slow. She appreciates how calm the brunette is being and how she isn’t being rushed to hurry up.

Lexa jumps from one part to another and she turns around when it is Clarke’s turn.

Clarke jumps and barely gets it, thus she clamps on to Lexa to steady herself. When she realizes what she’s doing, she quickly lets go. “I’m so sorry,” she apologizes.

Lexa says nothing and goes on with the parkour, thinking about the awkward sort of hug moment. When they have to jump over a piece again, she jumps like it is nothing.

When Clarke makes the jump, she becomes aware halfway through her jump that she didn’t jump far enough. She closes her eyes for the inevitable moment where she’ll be dangling and make the whole group lose. Instead she feels someone pulling her up and when she opens her eyes, she is met by green.

Lexa huffs slightly, pulling Clarke up while she has her fists twisted in her shirt. “Ontari wouldn’t be happy to lose,” she says as an excuse.

Clarke’s heart is racing with adrenalin. “That was a close call,” she whispers breathlessly. “Thank you, Lexa.”

“I’m the team leader,” Lexa points out. “I have to make sure everyone in our group finishes this parkour.”

“Hurry up, commander!” Ontari calls out. “You’re slow as fuck!”

“Commander?” Clarke questions. “Is that the name they gave you as the team leader?”

“No, my friends have been calling me that for quite a while,” Lexa replies. She can see Clarke’s confused look and laughs. “Don’t ask.”

“The end of this parkour is a zip line.”

“Sounds great. I haven’t done that in ages, it’ll be fun,” Lexa says, looking forward to it. “We’ll have to hurry up if we want to win. You can hold on to me for the tougher parts, if you want.”

Ontari is the first to slide down the zip line, having surpassed a bewildered Raven. Once she’s on the ground she waves her arms wildly, signaling for the rest of her group to hurry up. She can see some other groups are well on their way and she wants to win this.

Octavia cheers while sliding down. She tries to slide down as graciously as possible when she sees the rangers are looking, wanting to impress Lincoln, but she ends up bumping into Ontari. “Ugh, what the fuck, Ri?” she mumbles. “Why were you standing there?”

“The real question here is why the fuck weren’t you looking where you were going?” Ontari retorts. She helps Octavia to get disconnected from the zip line, so the others can slide down. “Miss Griffin is slow, damn.”

Octavia turns around and looks up. “Oh yeah, looks like it.”

When their group ends up with second place, Ontari grumbles about how they almost won and how Miss Griffin slowed them down.

“It’s just a silly game,” Lexa says. “We’ll own the next competition.”

“I would have pushed Miss Griffin a little,” Ontari says bluntly. “It’s on her that we lost.”

“Just let it go, Ri. Miss Griffin tried her best. It was her first time doing this.”

“What the hell, Lex?” Ontari replies surprised. “I thought you’d agree with me.”

“We got second, I’d say that’s not bad,” Octavia cuts in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“We need more wood for our campfire,” Clarke says. “This pile won’t last long.”

Lexa is sitting close to the campfire with her friends. Luna is sitting in front of her and she can tell her girlfriend seems distracted. “What’s bothering you, Lu?” she asks, whispering.

Luna sighs and turns around to look at Lexa. “Costia is sitting there all alone and it’s sad,” she whispers softly. “Maybe she could sit with us.”

“I don’t think she’d want to. She’s my ex and I’m pretty sure she wants to stay as far away from me as possible.”

Ontari squeezes herself in between Lexa and Octavia. “Lola looks really good,” she whispers.

Octavia glances at Lola, who sits a bit further away with Trisha and Emori. “She has a nice tan,” she whispers, assuming they’re being silent.

“Her long blonde hair is pretty,” Lexa whispers. The way Ontari stares at Lola makes her smile. “I thought you were all into college girls this year.”

“I thought the same of you,” Ontari fires back, winking.

“Lusting after a junior, eh?” Octavia teases Ontari.

“Says the one who’s lusting after one of the rangers.”

“You both need good luck,” Lexa says. “I’m surprised you’d go after a junior, Ri. You don’t even know if she likes girls.”

“I can always find out though.”

“And O, a ranger, really?” Lexa says, shaking her head. “He must be ten years older, for sure.”

“On our first day you were toats hitting on Miss Griffin though,” Octavia says with a serious tone. “You’re one of us, accept it.”

“I’m going to sit with Costia for a while,” Luna says calmly as she gets up. “It’s sad that she’s sitting alone, since she’s actually a sweet girl.”

“Okay,” Lexa replies. She chews on her bottom lip and watches Luna walking up to Costia to sit with her.

“It’s not cool of Luna to ditch you like that,” Ontari says, displeased.

“It’s fine,” Lexa says with a sigh. “She can do what she wants. She doesn’t have to sit with us if she’d rather sit with someone else.”

Octavia draws Trisha’s attention by signaling at her. “Come sit with us,” she says loudly.

“What are you doing?” Ontari asks curiously. She wonders why Octavia is drawing so much attention to them by inviting Trisha to sit with them.

“Shhh,” Octavia says softly. “Look.” She nods her head towards Trisha who is getting up to move over. “Emori and Lola will follow her here,” she explains. “You want to get to know Lola, don’t you? Well here’s your chance.”

“Should I whistle Lincoln over then?” Lexa teases Octavia.

“Get lost in the forest and he might search for you,” Ontari suggests. “Worth the shot.”

“You want me to play damsel in distress? No thanks.”

“Psh please, as if you weren’t trying to slide down that zip line graciously today,” Ontari retorts.

“Hey,” Trisha says while sitting down near Lexa, Ontari and Octavia.

“It’s cool that we can sit with y’all,” Lola says.

“How about a game of truth or dare?” Octavia suggests. “It’ll be fun. Lola, truth or dare?”

“I’ll go with truth.”

“Is there a guy you like?”

Ontari glares daggers at Octavia, seeing what she’s getting at.

“No, there isn’t,” Lola answers, frowning slightly. “Ontari?”

“I pick dare. It’s time for some action.”

“I dare you to kiss your friends,” Lola says challengingly. “What?” she whispers when Emori nudges her. “It’s just a dare and they like girls.”

Ontari grins and hopes Lola likes girls as well. She pulls Octavia close and kisses her.

“No wonder you and Lexa made out once,” Octavia says impressed. “Damn you can kiss.”

“Can it,” Ontari says, shushing Octavia. “Lex, you ready?”

Lexa laughs and nods. The kiss only lasts a second and it’s not the first time they kiss for a dare.

Ontari grabs a fistful of Lola’s shirt, pulls her close and kisses her hard. When she lets go and sees how startled the girl is, she simply says “you told me to kiss my friends and I thought today made us friends.”

Lexa is amused and not surprised in the slightest Ontari did that, since she’s aware her friend wouldn’t back out of something like that. She can see Luna staring at her from across the campfire, seemingly snuggled up against Costia. Their closeness makes her uncomfortable, but she’s trying not to read too much into it while telling herself that her girlfriend is very much into her. Her eyes land on Clarke, who is sitting next to Raven and Wells.

Clarke laughs when Wells tells her a joke. She feels her phone buzzing in her bra, telling her that Niylah is trying to reach her. “Excuse me for a while,” she whispers apologetically. “I’m going to stretch my legs.”

“Is everything okay?” Raven asks concerned. “Would you like me to go with you?”

“I’m fine,” Clarke replies with a small smile. “No, you don’t have to go with me. I just want to have a moment alone and stretch my legs.”

Lexa watches how Clarke disappears between the tree lines on her own. She glances back at Luna for a moment, who is leaning against Costia’s shoulder and it is reaching the point where it worries her, and she wonders if her girlfriend is still committed to her or not. “Hey, Lu,” she calls out and sees Luna looking at her. “Come sit with us.”

“I will later,” Luna replies. “Not right now.”

Lexa clenches her jaw when Costia whispers something in Luna’s ear, followed by both of them giggling and she wonders what’s suddenly so funny. “I’m going for a walk,” she whispers to her friends.

“Alone?” Octavia asks concerned.

“Yeah, I just need a moment,” Lexa replies. “I’ll be back soon.”

“If you’re not back in an hour we’ll have a search party,” Ontari warns playfully to lighten up the mood, although she’s concerned. She has seen the way Lexa was looking at Luna and the way Luna replied when asked to sit with them, so she can tell clearly that something is wrong.

“I’m counting on it,” Lexa retorts with a wink. She wastes no further words and walks away from the campfire. She can see Raven staring at her as if she wants to say something, but it doesn’t happen, so she keeps walking.

 


	14. Trust me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke talk in the woods.

Clarke takes a deep breath and calls Niylah back, seeing she has two missed calls, which only worries her so much more that something bad might have happened with Aden. She can feel her heart beating in her throat as she hears the ringing sound.

_“Hey, Clarke. I tried calling you.”_

“Niylah, thank god,” Clarke whispers, breathing fast. “Is Aden okay? What happened? Did something happen?” She can hardly think, overwhelmed with concern.

_“Aden is okay, he’s fine.”_

“I’m happy to hear that,” Clarke sighs relieved.

_“I’m sorry if I worried you. Aden misses you and I told him I could call you so he could hear your voice.”_

“It’s okay. What matters is that he’s okay.”

_“I’m going to put Aden on the phone for a moment now.”_

Clarke vaguely hears Niylah telling Aden she’s on the phone. “Aden, honey?”

_“Mommy.”_

“Hey, baby,” Clarke whispers with tears in her eyes. “It’s so good to hear you.”

_“Mommy! Mommy!”_

“Yes, baby, I’m here,” Clarke whispers softly. “Did you play with Niylah today?”

_“Big towel, mommy.”_

Clarke can hear the excitement in Aden’s voice. “When I’m home I’m going to build a big tower with you,” she promises. “Niylah is going to read you a bedtime story tonight.”

_“Stoly!”_

“That’s right, my angel,” Clarke whispers, smiling as Aden coos. “I love you so much.”

_“I wuv u mommy.”_

“Mommy will talk to you later, baby,” Clarke promises. She misses Aden dearly, but she know she can’t stay on the phone for long, having to save her battery as much as possible in case of emergencies and knowing her son needs to sleep. “Goodnight, my little guy.”

_“Nite, mommy.”_

Clarke ends the call and wipes her tears away. She’s tucking her phone away when she hears leaving crumpling behind her, so she turns around to see who it is. For a moment she thinks one of the teachers might have caught her with her phone, but then she sees familiar green eyes.

“You’re an amazing mother,” Lexa whispers. “I admire that about you,” she admits. “You care deeply about Aden and everything about you betrays that you put him first.”

“Did you follow me out here, Lexa?”

“I only heard the last bit, if that is what you’re worried about,” Lexa replies calmly. “The air here is so much fresher,” she says, changing the topic and taking a deep breath in. “The night sky is beautiful.”

“Why are you not with the others?” Clarke asks concerned. “You came out here alone?” She wonders if Raven saw Lexa leave or not, but even if she did, it is possible Raven bit her tongue about it.

“I wanted to go for a walk for a little bit.”

“Is something troubling you, Lexa?”

Lexa shakes her head, dismissing Clarke’s question. “Things are fine,” she whispers, sighing quietly. She musters the best fake smile she can show, hoping the blonde will let it go.

Clarke doesn’t want to push the matter, but she is quite concerned. “Remember earlier today on the rope parkour how I took a few leaps, thinking I wouldn’t make them?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Lexa replies, knitting her eyebrows together in confusion. “What about it?” she asks, wondering where Clarke is going with this.

“It was difficult to jump like that, but I did it anyway because you had your hand ready for me, ready to help me,” Clarke explains. “What I’m trying to say is that if something troubles you, it is okay to take a leap, because my hand will be ready to help you.”

“You truly are something else,” Lexa whispers. No matter how many times she turns Clarke’s help down, the blonde keeps trying anyway and she wonders why Clarke would care so much. In eight months her school year will be over and then she won’t even be the blonde’s student anymore.

Clarke sits down on a tree log, looking up at the stars and the moon. With a view like that, she wouldn’t mind sitting here for a while. She planned to go back to the others after her call, but since Lexa is out here she doesn’t want to leave her behind.

Lexa sits down on the other of the tree log and says nothing. She doesn’t even know how much time passes while she sits in silence with Clarke and she can’t remember when someone simply sat with her like this. It feels nice and refreshing, something she wants and needs more often.

Clarke barely registers Lexa scooting a bit closer towards her, until she feels the brunette’s head resting against her shoulder, hearing her breathe out deeply. The way Lexa breathes makes her wonder how much is weighing on her, how much could weigh on someone so young.

“You’d never leave Aden, would you?” Lexa asks quietly, breaking the silence.

“Never,” Clarke replies, sure of her words.

“Sometimes I wonder why my mother left me,” Lexa hesitantly admits. “I don’t know why she ditched me so easily. It makes me think that I wasn’t good enough or that I’m not loveable.” She has never told anyone the depth of her thoughts like this, how much it hurt when her mother abandoned her.

“You will always be good enough, Lexa,” Clarke whispers softly. In this moment, her heart aches for Lexa and she can feel a part of her pain. “The fact that she left you is her flaw, not yours.”

Lexa grabs Clarke’s hand and squeezes hard as panic overwhelms her. “You won’t tell anyone, right?” she asks, feeling scared. “It’s no big deal really.”

Clarke gently rubs her thumb over Lexa’s hand. “Don’t forget to breathe,” she says calmly. “Your secret is safe with me.

Lexa buries her face in the crook of Clarke’s neck and is relieved to feel her back being rubbed softly. When she stares deeply into the blonde’s blue eyes, she smiles for a split second, comforted by Clarke’s presence, which she can’t put her finger on.

Clarke’s eyes drop down to Lexa’s lips, for a fraction of a second and it scares her when it crosses her mind to lean in and kiss her, but then she remembers she’s the brunette’s teacher and she has a son. Something about Lexa lures her in and it is dangerous, it is something she has to be wary of.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Maybe you should tell Lexa,” Octavia suggests. She knows they don’t usually keep secrets and it is getting uncomfortable to keep this one.

“You know she’d be hurt,” Ontari replies, shaking her head. She smells the burning wood as the flames of the campfire grow bigger. It reminds her of a summer a few years ago when she went camping with Roan. “Look at Costia sitting there,” she mumbles angrily. “What a loser.”

“Hey,” Lola whispers. “Not to overstep or anything, but why do you dislike Costia so much?”

“During our summer vacation, Lexa didn’t see her,” Ontari replies as calmly as possible. “No matter how often she asked Costia to hang out, there was always an excuse.”

“Yeah,” Octavia chimes in. “It was like Costia didn’t even want to be around Lexa.”

“We went to so many parties,” Ontari explains further. “Costia didn’t join us for anything, not even when we went to the park. Hell, Lexa even asked her to hang out, just the two of them, but she always received a no.”

“That seems strange if they were dating,” Lola says, confused.

“One time she told Lexa she was out of the country for a vacation,” Ontari grumbles while digging her nails in the palms of her hands. “Octavia and I saw her with another girl in the library.”

“She seemed spooked,” Octavia recalls. “I bet she didn’t expect to see us there.”

“No offense, but you two don’t seem like the type to be in a library,” Lola says softly.

Ontari laughs and shakes her head. “Octavia was late to return a book and I was giving her a ride,” she explains. “I don’t like Costia because she’s a liar.”

“Lexa was loyal all summer,” Octavia adds in. “Even though it hurt her that Costia had no time to hang out with her, she stuck with her and then this school year began and bam… Costia ditches Lexa.”

“After leading her on all summer,” Ontari grumbles. “Right now she’s a bit too cozy with Luna.”

Octavia sighs and listens to the crackling fire. In general she doesn’t have much of an issue with Costia, but she does have an issue with how she lied to Lexa. It is fine if people grow apart because shit happens, but Costia shouldn’t have strung her friend along like that.

“Hey girls,” Raven says while she approaches. Leaves crumple under her feet with each step she takes. “We’re making hot chocolate and we’re going to roast marshmallows,” she explains softly. “If you’d like some, Miss Green is handing out cups and the rangers are handing out sticks with marshmallows.”

“Cool,” Octavia replies. “I’m going to get some.” She flattens her palms on the ground and huffs as she pushes herself up. “Ri, you coming?”

Ontari stretches her hand out towards Octavia. “A little help here?”

Octavia grasps Ontari’s hand and pulls her up. “Lazy ass,” she whispers.

“Did Lexa take a walkie with her?” Raven asks concerned, slightly regretting she didn’t go after Lexa. It crossed her mind, but she wants to give the girl some space and avoid suffocating her. Now that it has been a while, she’s getting worried.

“Nope,” Ontari replies. “I’ve got our walkie,” she says while showing it to Miss Reyes.

“She’ll be back,” Octavia assures Miss Reyes. “Lexa knows what she’s doing.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa chuckles while stumbling inside her tent with Luna. She enjoyed her walk through the woods earlier and her silent moment with Clarke, which ended when Raven suddenly showed up, all concerned and whatnot. It was the first time for her to see Raven so worried and she’s not sure if it was linked to genuine concern for her or if it was more because Raven doesn’t want to get in trouble with Anya, or a bit of both.

“Shhh,” Octavia whispers as she smiles.

“You didn’t even drink yet and you’re already clumsy,” Ontari comments. She reveals a bottle of vodka and opens it, taking a generous sip from it. “Lex?” she asks, holding the bottle out.

Lexa nods and accepts the bottle of vodka from Ontari. She drinks from it a bit too fast and coughs. “Here you go, O,” she says while handing it over to Octavia.

“I never had a drink,” Lola whispers, confessing.

“Really?” Ontari asks surprised. “Damn,” she says when Lola nods with wide eyes. “Aren’t you sixteen?”

“Yes, sixteen,” Lola confirms.

“I’m only a year older,” Ontari says. “I was already drinking when I was thirteen though.” Not that she should assume everyone close to her age already drunk at least once, although she does. Especially around the holidays it can happen.

“Oh yeah, that’s something to be proud of,” Octavia says sarcastically, making a point.

“Tris and Em might be waiting for me,” Lola says, excusing herself. “I should go to my own tent.”

“You can’t get in trouble,” Lexa points out. “Girls are allowed to share a tent with girls.”

“Sure thing, Lex,” Octavia comments. “Can’t get in trouble for having a minor drinking.”

“If you put it like that then none of us should be drinking,” Lexa retorts.

“I’ll see you all tomorrow,” Lola whispers. “Thanks for the invitation.”

“See you tomorrow, cutie,” Ontari replies. She takes another sip from the bottle of vodka when Lola is gone. “It’s a shame to see her go.”

“You’ve got it bad, Ri,” Lexa points out. She can see Ontari is drawn to Lola and it’s hopeless to watch.

“It’s not my fault she’s hot and cute,” Ontari says bluntly. She likes the way Lola’s long blonde hair reaches all the way down her back.

Luna crawls inside her sleeping bag and nuzzles herself close against Lexa. “I think our first day here went well,” she whispers. “The hot chocolate was so good.”

“Fuck I know right?” Octavia agrees. Thinking about it makes her mouth water and she can still taste the chocolate on the tip of her tongue when she closes her eyes.

“You had four cups,” Lexa recalls. “I can’t believe you’re drinking vodka now, O.” She doesn’t even want to imagine how bad that must be mixing.

“I’m going outside to smoke a joint,” Ontari says. She puts the bottle of vodka away and gets up.

“I think the rangers are keeping an eye on everything,” Luna warns.

“I’m going with you, Ri,” Lexa says. “I’ll be back in a bit,” she whispers to Luna before kissing her sweetly. She’d invite her girlfriend to join, but she knows Luna isn’t interested in stuff like this.

“Wait for me,” Octavia says. She crawls out of their tent and stretches her legs.

“Shh,” Lexa whispers. She points her finger to their right. “Rangers.”

“Change of plans,” Ontari mumbles. “O, you go distract them.”

“What?” Octavia whispers. “Why me?”

“This is your chance to talk to Lincoln,” Lexa whispers, trying to convince Octavia.

“Fuck that’s true,” Octavia admits, considering it. “What am I supposed to say though?”

“Share a horror story or something,” Ontari suggests.

Lexa snatches the walkie talkie out of Octavia’s hand and puts it down next to the tent. “Tell Lincoln you lost your walkie and that it might be near the zip line,” she whispers, knowing that’s the other direction than she’ll be heading with Ontari.

“You both owe me after this,” Octavia whispers.

“You get to use Ri’s motorcycle for an hour after this camping trip,” Lexa offers.

“What?” Ontari hisses. “Why mine?”

“I accept,” Octavia cuts in quickly. “One hour on your motorcycle and we’re even.”

“O already used mine once,” Lexa whispers, explaining.

“Fine, okay,” Ontari sighs. “We have a deal. Do your thing, O.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“We should check up on the girls,” Raven says quietly to Clarke. She zips their tent open and peers outside. Since it appears to be quite dark, she grabs a flashlight.

“And the guys,” Clarke adds thoughtfully. “There are two guys in our group,” she reminds Raven, who sounds like she forgot about them.

“It’s mostly the girls I’m worried about,” Raven replies concerned. “Jasper and Monty are harmless.”

Clarke follows Raven outside their tent and the first thing she notices is the absence of the rangers. “Weren’t the rangers going to be around?” she asks confused.

“Um yeah, they should be,” Raven replies, equally confused. She frowns and looks around, wondering where the rangers are. “Maybe they took a break, I don’t know.”

Clarke bends through her knees in front of Costia’s tent, which is right next to theirs. “Costia, are you in there?” she asks.

Raven frowns a little, but she understands that they can’t go and zip tents open just like that. She hears the tent being zipped open and a few seconds later Costia peaks her head out.

“Is there a problem, Miss Griffin?” Costia asks while rubbing her eyes.

“Not at all,” Clarke replies. “We want to make sure everyone is in their tent. You can go to sleep now.” She takes note of the books scattered in Costia’s tent before it is zipped shut again.

Raven crouches down the tent Jasper and Monty share. “Guys, are you in here?” she asks.

Clarke walks over to the other side where the rest of the girls have their tents. In the first one she finds Trisha, Lola and Emori already dozing off. When she reaches the last one with Raven, she’s not happy to find out only Luna is in it.

Luna nervously fidgets with her shirt, not knowing what to say. She knows Lexa, Octavia and Ontari left to go smoke joints, but she doesn’t plan to rat them out.

Raven places her hands on her hips, sighing deeply. “Where are Octavia, Ontari and Lexa?” she asks impatiently, since they should have been in their tent.

“I don’t know, Miss Reyes,” Luna replies softly. “I think they went for a walk. I’m sleepy, so I didn’t go with them.”

Raven grabs the walkie talkie, but is stopped when Clarke points at the walkie talkie right next to the tent, signaling the girls didn’t take it with them. “Where are the rangers when we need them?” she says frustrated.

“We have no idea which direction they went into,” Clarke says. She feels disappointed that Lexa, Octavia and Ontari aren’t in their tent and she’s disappointed the rangers aren’t around like they should be. “They might not even have gone in the same direction, for all we know they each went in a different one.”

“I hope they’re alright,” Raven whispers, helplessly. “I don’t even know which direction we should go to look for them.”

“I’ll go left and you can go right,” Clarke suggests. “We can meet back here in an hour.”

“If we don’t find them by then, I’ll wake the other teachers up to help us look,” Raven says, hoping it won’t come that far.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their first night on their camping trip is going great. :)


	15. Get wet

“I hear something,” Lexa whispers. It’s distant, but it sounds like footsteps, so someone might be nearby. She can hear twigs snapping and the sound of leaves being stepped on.

Ontari stops talking and listens, hearing something as well. “We should climb in that tree,” she whispers while nodding her head to their side.

Lexa puts out her joint, tosses it as far away as she can and climbs in the nearest tree. When she’s sitting on a thick branch, she grips Ontari’s forearm and steadies her. “It’s not bad being out here at night,” she whispers. “Being away for a while is nice, you know?” Sometimes she needs a small escape like this.

“Yeah, it sure is,” Ontari agrees. “How has it been for you to have Raven around?”

“So far not bad,” Lexa truthfully admits. “I can tell she’s trying to stay out of my hair as much as possible.”

“Does it bother you when Luna chooses to hang out with Costia?”

“I can’t tell her what she should and shouldn’t do, so I won’t do that,” Lexa states first and foremost. “It bothers me a little bit because it looks like more might be going on, but maybe I’m reading too much into it,” she admits, knowing that her thoughts don’t equal facts. “Luna is with me and people know that, Costia knows that too. It sucked that Costia ditched me when school began, but in general she’s a good girl.” She can’t imagine Costia having any ill will at all.

“Good girl?” Ontari scoffs. “Yeah she knows you’re with Luna, but I don’t trust her.” There’s no way she’s going to trust Costia, knowing what a liar she is.

Lexa wonders which kind of beef Ontari can possibly have with Costia to dislike her so much. She knows her friend has never been much of a fan of Costia, but ever since their last summer it got worse. “What is it that you’re not telling me?” she asks, wanting to know what Ontari is hiding from her.

“Costia lied to you during the summer,” Ontari whispers softly. “She wasn’t gone for some vacation, she was in the library. I should have told you sooner, I’m sorry.”

Lexa bites her bottom lip and feels hurt to know Costia lied to her. “Okay, I can’t trust Costia,” she says sadly. “But I do trust Luna.” She takes a deep breath. “It’s hard when people leave,” she whispers while trying not to sound broken.

Ontari wraps her arms around Lexa and hugs her. “If anyone breaks your heart I’ll break their face.” She hates it when her friends get hurt and they’re pretty much sisters in her eyes.

“You hate hugging,” Lexa whispers. She tries to wriggle herself free because Ontari is squeezing too hard. “I need to breathe, Ri,” she wheezes, gasping for air.

Ontari lets go and that’s the moment where she hears a voice. She looks down and grins. “Looks like Raven is looking for us,” she whispers, trying not to laugh.

Lexa sighs when she hears Raven calling her name and also calling out for Ontari and Octavia. “We should go down,” she whispers while moving to climb down.

“You’re kidding, right?” Ontari asks, confused. She can hardly believe Lexa would be serious about climbing down. “You don’t even like her.”

“She sounds worried and I don’t want her to wake up the whole camp,” Lexa whispers calmly. “We don’t need that kind of drama.” She slowly climbs down and hopes this won’t lead to a bunch of drama where Raven will lecture her on how worried Anya would be.

“Oh god, Lexa,” Raven says, holding a hand to her chest out of relief. “There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” She’s relieved to see Ontari is with Lexa.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Lexa replies with a sigh. She prepares herself for Raven’s lecture or to be reprimanded or whatever.

“I was so worried about you,” Raven says with sincerity in her eyes. Without thinking she hugs Lexa. “Don’t worry me like that again,” she whispers softly.

Lexa is utterly confused and she wonders why she’s suddenly being hugged so much. First Ontari who hates hugging people and now Raven. If she wouldn’t know any better, she’d say she’s tripping. “Are you… crying?” she asks confused when Raven lets go.

Raven wipes her tears away and takes a deep breath. “I was really worried about you, Lexa,” she says softly. “I didn’t know if you were safe.” She knows she’s not actually Lexa’s guardian, but since she lives with Anya, she feels responsible and wants to help take care of Lexa.

Ontari awkwardly pretends like she didn’t see and hear anything. This is not something she would go and gossip about and she can imagine Lexa being equally confused as she is, if not more.

“Where is Octavia?” Raven asks, taking notice Octavia doesn’t appear to be with them. She had hoped to find them all at once.

“With the rangers,” Ontari says quickly. “We lost our walkie and she went to go look for it with them. We were looking for it too,” she lies. Considering they don’t have their walkie on them, it sounds like a decent excuse in her ears.

Raven doesn’t buy that excuse at all, since it sounds farfetched. “You were looking for it in a tree?” she asks in utter disbelief, pointing out how ridiculous Ontari’s words are. “That walkie which happened to be right outside your tent?”

“Good news, Lex,” Ontari says with a chipper tone while nudging her with her elbow. “Our walkie has been found.”

Lexa facepalms and wishes she could disappear right now to escape this awkward moment.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You all got lucky you didn’t get in trouble,” Luna says, surprised they got away with it.

“We did get a warning though,” Octavia replies. When she returned with the rangers, she walked right into Miss Griffin who wasn’t pleased at all. “Worth it though,” she smiles brightly while showing her friends a piece of paper with a number on it.

“Lincoln gave you his number?” Lexa asks surprised.

“Damn,” Ontari whistles. “You must have some hidden charms,” she teases. “I didn’t think you’d have it in you.”

“Very funny,” Octavia says dryly. “I talked with him for a while, but nothing happened if you must know.”

“No,” Lexa says, disagreeing and teasing Octavia a bit. “We must not know.”

Ontari laughs and high fives Lexa.

Octavia rolls her eyes at them. “Anyway as I was saying, nothing happened. He gave me his number and he said I can call him once I’m eighteen,” she explains. “He doesn’t want to get in trouble with the law.”

“That kind of sucks,” Ontari says. “I can understand it, but it still sucks.” Her age never stopped her from being with older girls, but most times she simply doesn’t tell them she’s not eighteen yet.

“I’ll call him when our summer vacation begins,” Octavia decides. “This doesn’t mean I plan to be single until then though.”

“You can have anyone you want, but I call dibs on Lola,” Ontari says with a serious tone.

“Noted,” Octavia hums. “Not that I’d go after someone younger though,” she adds quickly, to make that clear. “Maybe I’ll ask Harper out.”

“I thought Harper was dating Monroe,” Lexa says, confused. “They’ve been together since last year.” She knows they always hang out and even during this trip they’re put in a group together.

“They used to be,” Ontari says. “During the summer they broke up.” She heard the news from Nathan, who is a close friend of Harper.

“Oh, I didn’t know that. It sucks that they broke up.”

“They’re still friends though,” Octavia points out. “That’s probably why you thought they’d still be dating.”

“It feels like we’re kind of grounded now,” Lexa says, sighing silently. She didn’t like the part where they got told they’re not allowed to explore the forest, especially not at night.

“Who knew I’d get grounded in a forest,” Octavia comments, noting how ridiculous that is.

“Being grounded never stopped you,” Ontari points out. “And it won’t stop us either. Right, Lex?”

“Right,” Lexa agrees. She plans to leave their tent again the next night and again during their last night. “You can come with us next time if you’d like,” she whispers to Luna. “There are some trees which offer a good view.”

“I’d love to,” Luna whispers back. She smiles and kisses Lexa while holding on to her shirt.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke smiles while the sun gives her a warm feeling and she enjoys this bright beautiful morning. The air is great, birds are chirping and really, waking up in the forest like this isn’t that bad at all. She yawns while stretching her arms, still waking up a bit more. Her peaceful morning doesn’t last long when she hears students zipping their tents open, talking loudly.

Raven chuckles as she sees Clarke’s face morphing from pure bliss to annoyance. “What a lovely ten seconds,” she says. Her nostrils fill up with the smell of eggs and bacon. “Mhm,” she moans, licking her lips. “Time for breakfast.”

Clarke walks up to the campfire, where the rangers are making breakfast with the help of a few teachers and students. She looks around to see if she can spot the students in her group. The first one she notices is Costia, who is quietly eating breakfast. She looks at the tents of the other students in her group, watching them get out. When Lexa gets out of her tent, she can see the brunette running her hand through her hair and god if she isn’t naturally beautiful then she doesn’t know who is. She shakes her head, trying to get rid of the thoughts she shouldn’t have. Lexa is her student and she has to get her out of her mind, because she’s her teacher and the brunette is far too young.

Raven clears her throat. “Clarke, do you want some breakfast?” she asks, repeating herself for the second time.

“Hmm?” Clarke replies, lightly dazed. She caught something about breakfast, so she decides to take a wild guess. “The rangers are making breakfast over there,” she says while vaguely pointing in their direction.

Raven narrows her eyes and wonders what has gotten into Clarke that distracted her so much. “I’m going to get some coffee,” she says, sighing and shaking her head. She feels like her friend needs a strong cup of coffee to wake up.

Clarke is collecting her breakfast when Lexa walks past her, laughing at something her friends said. For a moment her heart begins to beat faster and she has to look away when green eyes stare at her. She didn’t sleep much, since she spent most of her night thinking about Lexa and all the special little moments she has had with her. When ranger Wells offers her coffee and talks to her, she is thankful for the much appreciated distraction.

“We’re lucky with the weather,” Raven says as she sits down next to Clarke on a tree log.

“I wonder how the students will react,” Clarke says, imagining the reactions will be divided, although she hopes most of them will be positive.

Octavia smiles when Lincoln hands her a cup of hot chocolate. “You know me so well already,” she whispers, for his ears only.

“I have more for your friends,” Lincoln says with a smile.

Ontari holds her thumb up. “I approve,” she says with a grin. “Maybe your taste isn’t so bad after all, grounder,” she teases.

Lexa hears Luna sighing and it worries her. “What’s wrong?” she whispers as she watches what, or rather who, her girlfriend is looking at. She sees Costia sitting alone, eating her breakfast and she doesn’t need to ask anymore what’s on Luna’s mind.

“I know she’s your ex,” Luna says thoughtfully. “But she’s a part of our group, so perhaps we should try to include her more.”

“We can include her in activities more,” Lexa replies calmly, compromising. “It’s not a good idea for us all to hang out with her.” She doesn’t feel the need to hang out with her lying ex and she knows her friends wouldn’t want that either.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa watches how Raven gets in a canoe with Costia, because they have to pair up with someone within their own group and of course nobody seemed eager to pair up with Costia. She can see Jasper and Monty clumsily getting into a canoe and she hopes they’ll peddle decent enough, since she knows Ontari is eager to win.

Ontari grasps Lola’s arm and helps her into a canoe, while seeing Trisha and Emori getting into another one.

Octavia groans when only Lexa, Luna and Miss Griffin are left. She doesn’t feel like having to share with their teacher and she blames Costia for pairing up with Miss Reyes.

“I’ll go with Miss Griffin,” Lexa offers, not minding at all. “Are you okay with that, Lu?”

“Sure, no problem,” Luna replies. She climbs into a canoe with Octavia and smiles briefly at Lexa.

“It looks like you’re sharing with me,” Lexa says when Clarke stares at the remaining canoes. “We should hurry if we want to win,” she says, seeing some other students already taking off. “First time?” she asks when she catches the blonde staring blankly whilst chewing on her lip.

“No,” Clarke replies softly. “I have done this a few times.” She smiles weakly and steps into the canoe, waiting for Lexa to get in as well.

“Very well,” Lexa sighs as she carefully gets in, not wanting to wobble their canoe. “It’s a shame we don’t get to swim in this lake.”

“The rangers strictly said no swimming,” Clarke points out.

Lexa cups her hand in the water, scoops up a bit and splashes it at Clarke, who much to her amusement, squeals in response.

“Lexa!” Clarke warns. She shakes lightly at the touch of the cold water on her skin.

“This is not swimming,” Lexa says innocently. She chuckles and grabs her peddle, enjoying the adorable grumpy look on Clarke’s face. “You seem tense you should lighten up a bit.”

“Do you always splash cold water at people who appear tense?”

“Whatever it was you were thinking is now replaced by your focus on the cold water.”

“No more splashing,” Clarke warns, holding her index finger up to emphasize her words.

“Or else what?” Lexa challenges, not backing off. She puts her hand into the water and raises one eyebrow.

Clarke shakes her head and when Lexa is no longer looking at her, she uses her peddle to splash water at the brunette, quickly realizing it is more than just a bit. Her jaw drops when Lexa’s shirt is fully soaked and in the blink of an eye, the brunette screams, gets up and capsizes their canoe, landing them both in the water.

“Oh my god, I’m freezing!” Lexa screams. She can hear her friends laughing loudly at the situation she’s in. “I can’t believe you did that,” she whispers to Clarke with clattering teeth.

“You did say or else,” Clarke weakly defends herself. If she had known Lexa would capsize their canoe, she would not have splashed her at all. She regrets that she got caught up in the moment and that she didn’t act responsible as she should have.

Lexa shiver slightly when Lincoln pulls her out of the water, while seeing Clarke being pulled out of the water by Wells. “I know,” she says with a sigh when she sees what’s written in Lincoln’s eyes. “No swimming.”

Lincoln quietly nods and wraps a blanket around Lexa to warm her up.

“We lost our balance,” Clarke says calmly when others ask what happened and she knows Lexa’s friends saw what happened, which makes her thankful they’re not saying anything. She embarrassed herself and she was out of line.

“Miss Griffin got you back good,” Ontari teases Lexa. “It was bold of her to get you back like that.”

“We should go skinny dipping tonight,” Lexa suggests, whispering to her friends.

“In that cold ass water?” Octavia asks. “Are you out of your damn mind?”

“I bet twenty dollars I can stay in the water the longest,” Ontari says.

Lexa laughs and shakes her head. “I can’t wait to be twenty dollars richer,” she says with confidence.

“Ten dollars I’ll be the fastest one to undress and jump in,” Octavia says, raising the challenge more.

“Hey can we join?” Trisha asks quietly. “I heard what you were talking about. Em, Lol and I would like to join.”

“Yeah, you can join,” Lexa replies. “Ten dollars on who jumps in first tonight and twenty dollars on who stays in the water the longest.” She can hardly wait for her second night in this forest to begin.

 


	16. Skinny dipping

“I can’t believe this,” Clarke mutters when she sees that aside from Costia’s tent, the girls’ tents are empty. Her flashlight shines through Lexa’s empty tent and she doesn’t even know why she hoped that wouldn’t have been the case. “They are walking around again,” she says to Raven, sighing.

Raven is frustrated to see that this time seven girls are gone instead of three. “They must be up to no good,” she says, thinking about it. “They knew they were supposed to stay here and not wander around. Everyone on this trip seems to be behaving, aside from them.” She could have guessed Lexa’s little clique would disobey the rules and it is disappointing to see Trisha, Emori and Lola disobeying as well. Not that the last three are angels in her class, but she thought they’d stay in their tent like they did last night.

“Is there a problem?” Wells asks while he approaches with his flashlight. Lincoln shows up next to him, shining briefly in the empty tent.

“We’re missing seven girls,” Clarke explains, blinking as the light hits her eyes. She’s relieved that this time the rangers are here to help them look for the girls. At least that is an improvement compared to last night, but at the same time it isn’t since this time they have to look for seven girls instead of three.

“Have you seen anything at all?” Raven asks the rangers.

“There are many tents to watch over, ma’am,” Wells calmly answers. “We have not seen or heard anything.”

“We will find them,” Lincoln assures the teachers. “They cannot have gone far.”

“I hope they didn’t split up,” Raven says, remembering last night. She knows the girls are a part of two different cliques, so odds are they’re not together. If they split up, it’ll take longer to find them all and that’s frustrating, especially since it is late.

“We should split up to look for them,” Clarke suggests. “One ranger can go with me and the other with you.” Since the rangers know this forest the best, it seems like a good idea to her.

Raven nods and heads into one direction with Wells, hoping to find the girls as soon as possible. Once the girls are found, they will be in trouble for breaking the rules yet again.

“I’m sorry to trouble you with this,” Clarke whispers to Lincoln. She wonders how tiring it must be for him to look for people.

Lincoln recalls how Octavia walked towards the zip line with him last night. “We will check near the lake first,” he says, thinking about it, assuming they could have headed there.

“The lake?” Clarke asks surprised. “It is dark and the water is cold.” She sincerely hopes they’re not there, especially not in the water because they could get sick. It is ridiculous how instead of going to sleep, she has to look for seven students who failed to obey the rules. This is not what she signed up for at all, but she is partly responsible to watch over them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa laughs when Octavia screams and hurries out of the water. It sure is cold, she’ll hand her that much. “You were right about getting in first,” she says with an amused smile. “But you also got out first,” she adds teasingly.

“It’s really cold,” Octavia retorts. She wraps herself up in a towel for a moment, warming up. “I won half the bet, that’s better than nothing,” she reasons, not minding that she didn’t win all of it. “How are you still in it?” she asks, surprised the others didn’t hurry out of it yet.

“It’s not that bad,” Ontari says as she moves around a bit. “The more you move, the more you warm up. When you hold still it feels colder.”

Lexa wraps her arms around Luna and lightly kisses her shoulder, then her neck. She’s confused when her girlfriend pulls away from her. “You’ve been different, Lu,” she whispers, not understanding why Luna has been pulling away from her more and more. “Does this have to do with Costia?”

“Costia is just my friend,” Luna replies, whispering.

Lexa moves a bit away from the others with Luna, so they can talk privately.

“I don’t think we should be together,” Luna whispers sadly. “I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling it.”

Lexa is confused, because she thought Luna was really into her, or at least it used to be that way. “What changed?” she asks, wanting to understand.

“I don’t think you truly want to be with me and it would be better if we’d just be friends.”

“What makes you think I don’t want to be with you? You know that when I’m down for someone, I’m really down for them.”

“I’ll sleep in Costia’s tent,” Luna whispers. “As friends of course,” she adds quickly, not wanting to send the wrong message. “We could be friends too.”

“I need time to think about that,” Lexa whispers. She makes her way to get out of the water and doesn’t say anything when Luna quickly grabs her things and walks away.

“Lex, you okay?” Octavia asks concerned when she sees Luna walking away.

“It’s over,” Lexa replies, nearly indifferently. “I need a drink.” She grabs one of the bottles they brought with them and drinks from it. It has a slightly bitter kick to it, but she keeps drinking anyway.

“Leave some for me,” Octavia says as she tries to pry the bottle out of Lexa’s hands. She doesn’t want her friend to get drunk over some girl who didn’t even deserve her. “Come on, share with me,” she tries again when Lexa doesn’t give the bottle up.

“There are other bottles,” Lexa retorts. “This one is mine.”

“I’m going to punch that bitch,” Ontari says angrily, gritting her teeth as she gets out of the water.

“No,” Lexa says sharply. “Leave her alone. It’s fine, Ri.”

“Alright,” Ontari  says as she grabs a bottle of vodka and drinks from it. “Lol, you want some?” she asks, holding the bottle out to Lola.

Lola hesitantly accepts the bottle from Ontari and drinks from it. “It’s not bad.”

Ontari slings one arm around Lola’s waist and pulls her closer. “Tris, Em, help yourselves,” she says, nodding towards the other bottles. Since they’re Lola’s friends, she’s fine with having them around.

Lexa pulls her hoodie over her head and snuggles in it, warming up more with each passing second. She hears something nearby and sees a bush moving slightly, catching her attention. Curious what it is, she walks up to the bush and crouches down to check it out.

“What is it?” Octavia asks silently as she crouches down next to Lexa, having noticed it as well.

Lexa searches through the bush and smiles when she finds an orange cat. “Hey you,” she says as she picks him up. “What are you doing out here?” She smiles when the cat purrs, seemingly comfortable with her.

“He looks starved,” Octavia points out, seeing how awfully skinny the cat is.

Lexa holds him close and softly pets him. “We should feed him.”

“I doubt he’d eat candy.”

Ontari grabs her phone and types a text. “I’ll tell Roan to get over here,” she says dryly. “He can take the cat with him and take him to the vet and stuff until we’re home.”

“You think your brother is going to drive two hours to pick up a cat and then drive two hours back?” Octavia asks disbelievingly. “At night?”

“Yeah, he will. You’ll see.”

“I’m okay with that, but he’s mine now,” Lexa says. “Roan can come get him and he can watch over him until I’m home.” She knows keeping the cat here wouldn’t be a good idea. Since this is the forest and the cat looks starved, she doubts he would have any owners.

“What are you going to name him?” Octavia asks.

“Hmm,” Lexa replies, thinking about it. “I’ll name him Tiger.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Girls!” Clarke shouts, relieved to see them near the lake. “You should all be in your tents,” she says with a strict reprimanding tone.

Lexa pushes a bottle away with the back of her foot while hiding the cat under her hoodie. “We went for a walk,” she lies, not meeting Clarke’s gaze.

“I can see you all have wet hair,” Clarke points out, putting two and two together.

“We fell in the lake,” Octavia lies.

“How amazing you all happened to fall in the lake,” Clarke says, not believing them one bit. “With dry clothes, I see.” She shakes her head as she takes it all in, seeing the bottles of alcohol, mostly empty and the way their hair is wet. “You know the rules, girls.”

“It’s a camping trip,” Ontari tries. “The nights should be ours, not like we ever go to school at night.”

“Rules are rules,” Clarke says without mercy. “Detention for a month, all of you.” She can’t let them off the hook, because the rules apply for everyone and sure she could ignore a few small things, but this isn’t small. “No more swimming in the lake, drinking alcohol and sneaking away at night to wander around.”

“Yes, Miss Griffin,” Lexa says, rolling her eyes. “Can we go now?”

Clarke looks around, counting only six girls. “Where is Luna?”

“Already left,” Ontari says dryly.

“She will have detention for a month too,” Clarke says calmly, not letting any of them get away with it. She studies Lexa, who is acting odd and notices something moving under her clothes. “Lexa, what is under your clothes?”

“My body,” Lexa tries, working on keeping her cat still.

“Lift your hoodie up.”

“Excuse me?” Lexa replies astounded. Her jaw drops slightly and she can’t believe her own ears. To be fair she can take a wild guess Clarke is telling her to do so due to the cat moving under her hoodie, but regardless it came out all wrong.

Clarke realizes how wrong her words must have sounded and she mentally curses herself when her thoughts skip to what’s under Lexa’s clothes, picturing her delicate skin. “You are hiding something under your hoodie,” she corrects herself. “What are you hiding?”

“She’s hiding her pussy,” Ontari jokes, earning a cold glare from Lexa and a laugh from Octavia.

Lexa sighs and reveals her cat, before things get any more awkward. “I found him,” she explains softly. “Ontari’s brother will be picking him up soon.” It seems pointless to her to hide that they contacted someone, since Clarke already knows she has her phone on her.

“I want you all back in your tents,” Clarke instructs. “You will all go back with Lincoln. Lexa, I will wait with you for Ontari’s brother to show up.”

“See you soon, Lex,” Octavia says with a smile, quickly joining Lincoln’s side.

Ontari lightly grasps Lola’s wrist. “We got a free spot in our tent, you could sleep with us if you’d like,” she offers sweetly.

“Girls-”

“You said girls can sleep with girls,” Ontari says, cutting Miss Griffin off before she can argue about it. During their bus ride it was clearly said girls are allowed to sleep with girls, so she won’t let anyone tell her differently now. If Lola can’t be in her tent, they might as well put everyone in separate tents.

Clarke clears her throat, since that is not what she was going to comment on. She is fine with it if Ontari and Lola want to sleep together, as long as everything is consensual. “Pick up those bottles,” she says while pointing at the bottles on the ground. “No littering.”

“She sounds like Lex,” Ontari mutters quietly to Octavia as they bend down to pick up the bottles. Each time she litters in the park, Lexa lectures her about it and picks it up.

Octavia laughs lightly. “I know right,” she agrees, knowing how Lexa feels about littering.

“I bet they have other stuff in common too,” Ontari whispers.

“Mhm yeah, but there’s no way Lex would admit that and she’d be so grumpy if we’d tell her.”

“Less talking more action,” Clarke says with a strong tone. “We don’t have all night, girls.”

“See,” Ontari whispers to Octavia. “They toats have stuff in common. Miss Griffin is kinda sounding like our commander now.”

Octavia chuckles and nods in agreement, seeing it too.

Lexa gives her friends a wary look, while wondering what they keep whispering and laughing about.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“He needs to go to the vet,” Lexa says for the third time as she hands her cat to Roan.

“I will take him to the vet first thing in the morning,” Roan promises. “He will be in good hands, Lexa.”

“I’ll miss you,” Lexa says quietly to her cat, petting him.

“I will miss you too,” Roan says with a smile.

“Umm..,” Lexa says awkwardly, wanting to tell Roan she was talking about her cat and not about him. “That’s sweet, Roan,” she ends up saying instead. “I’ll see you after the camping trip.” After this night, she only has one more day and one more night to go before she’ll be heading home again.

Clarke carefully places one hand on Lexa’s shoulder to comfort her as Roan leaves with the cat. “He’ll be okay,” she whispers, assuring the brunette. “It’s good that you found him.”

“Yeah,” Lexa says softly, smiling weakly. “I used to have a cat when I was younger, but one day I came home from school and my cat was gone.” The memory still saddens her every once in a while, since the cat she had as a child was dear to her. “My mother didn’t want me to have him anymore.”

Once again, Clarke’s heart aches for Lexa and the pain she feels. “How would your cousin feel about you keeping a cat?” she asks curiously, since the brunette seems set on keeping the cat she found.

“I think Anya won’t mind or at least I hope she won’t,” Lexa replies with a sigh, realizing it isn’t certain she’d be allowed to keep her cat. “If not, then I guess Roan will keep him.”

“We have to get back to the others,” Clarke says calmly, knowing that otherwise Raven will still be worried. “You should get some sleep.”

“Have you ever had a pet?” Lexa asks as she begins to slowly walk back towards the tents.

“I had a dog when I was younger,” Clarke answers, smiling as she remembers. “A golden retriever, very sweet and cuddly.”

“It’s a bit odd how you made the other students and I write a five-hundred words essay on the word prohibited when you ended up bringing you own phone,” Lexa points out, changing the topic.

Clarke knows Lexa does have a good point with that, since she was strict about the rules, only to break them herself, which is sending the wrong signal. “I will write an essay about the word prohibited then,” she jokes playfully.

Lexa chuckles and shakes her head, surprised by Clarke’s light-hearted response. “I look forward to reading it,” she says with a bubbly tone and in this moment, everything feels a bit lighter.

“I was surprised yours counted five-hundred-fifty-two words,” Clarke admits, since she didn’t think Lexa would even bother to write the essay. Some didn’t even reach five-hundred words, although they got close to it.

Lexa frowns and stops walking. “Hold up,” she says as she stops Clarke from walking. “You seriously counted how many words I wrote?” She can’t believe the blonde actually did that. “And you remembered precisely how many words mine counted?”

“I had to make sure every student did as I asked,” Clarke deflects. She looks away from Lexa’s questioning gaze and swallows thickly. “The others will wonder where you are, we have to get back,” she says, urging the brunette to hurry up a bit.

Lexa’s eyes soften as she tries to make Clarke look at her. “I make you nervous,” she whispering, calling out what she feels is a fact and not a mere guess.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lexa.”

Lexa doesn't believe Clarke one bit, because her body language doesn't match up with her words. “Why do I make you nervous?” she asks, trying again to have Clarke admit what is painfully obvious. 

“Lexa, we have to-”

“Okay,” Lexa says, cutting Clarke off. She can see the blonde doesn’t want to admit that she makes her nervous, so be it. “I can see my tent,” she says while pointing at it. Without any further ado, she walks up to her tent and zips it open. She can hardly pin her finger on Clarke, because that woman is really starting to confuse her and making her wonder what's going on. For tonight she has quite a bit to process, now that her relationship with Luna ended and now that she found a cat. Hopefully Anya will let her keep her cat, although she doesn't see why her cousin would possibly object to that, since she knows Anya is an animal lover. 

When Lexa is gone in her tent, Clarke slips into hers, hoping that she’ll finally get her student out of her mind. Lexa was right that she was nervous, which is not something she wants to admit, especially not since it is her presence that is making her feel that way. She’ll get over it soon, because there’s no way she feels something for her student. Nope, that’s just ridiculous. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Clarke's denial.


	17. Halloween

“It’s Halloween bitches!” Octavia shouts excitedly. This is the night she has been waiting for and even though it sucks they won’t have a party like they usually have, she hopes their night in the forest will be worth it.

Lexa picks up a stick and tosses it into the campfire, watching the flames devour it in seconds. She has mixed feelings about it being her last night in the forest. The moments where she snuck away have been great and she also enjoyed her little moments with Clarke, although she’s relieved to be going home tomorrow.

Ontari smiles as Lola makes funny faces in an attempt to make her laugh and to ‘melt her ice’ as the girl calls it. Sure she’s often called out on being icy, but she’s not that bad and she can be warm around some people.

Lexa is happy to see Ontari smiling so much around Lola and she’s rooting for them. She takes note of Octavia’s subtle-not so subtle looks at Lincoln, which she personally doesn’t get, but as long as her friends are happy then it’s all good. In the corner of her eye she sees Luna sitting near Costia, talking and laughing together and it’s nice they found a friend in each other.

“This tastes sweet,” Trisha says as she sips from the cup she’s holding in her hand. "I like it, it's delicious."

Ontari sips from her cup and scrunches her nose up. She’d rather have some alcohol and not this kid drink or whatever it is supposed to be. “Hey, what’s in this?” she asks, shouting as she looks at the teachers for answers.

“Orange juice with grenadine,” Raven shouts back, answering.

Lexa wishes they’d still have bottles of alcohol, but after their adventure last night, their alcohol has been taken away from them. At least they still have their weed, since Ontari was hiding it well, so that’s better than nothing. Last year on her Halloween night, she drank a lot with her friends and they went to a party. Now this year, they're here in a forest without any alcohol, which is quite boring. And yet if someone would give her a chance to trade this for a party, she's leaning towards passing it up. 

A plus is that tonight they get to walk around, but the downside is that it is a part of some game or whatever. Since their group is bigger than others, they had to cut their group up in two teams. There was no way they wanted to team up with Costia and Luna, so Trisha and her friends are teaming up with them, while they have to team up with Jasper and Monty. They don’t really know those guys, but at least they didn’t get stuck with Luna and Costia.

Lexa doesn’t necessarily has an issue with Luna, but for the time being she needs space and she has to think if she even wants to be friends. She has been wondering if Luna only dated her to become a part of her little gang, especially since it wouldn’t be the first time someone tries to weasel their way in her group. Sometimes someone dates Ontari, Octavia or her for the sole purpose of belonging with them, to be popular and a part of the rebels. She hates it when someone does that and can only hope that hasn't been Luna's angle, because she doesn't want be used like that. 

“We can have some weed tonight,” Ontari whispers to Lexa while handing her a plastic cup. “Jasper and Monty are down to have some.” She talked with them and they seemed happy to receive some in return for not yapping about it to others while they play that ridiculous game. It's a fair deal and she has enough anyway. 

“Good,” Lexa whispers as she accepts the plastic cup and sips from it. “Did you roll them?”

“Yeah, I rolled about twenty of them,” Ontari says, fully prepared. “Should be enough for the five of us.”

“For sure,” Lexa agrees. “Two is enough for me, I don’t need more.”

“Always better to have more than needed,” Octavia whispers.

“It’s a shame we couldn’t team up with Lol, Tris and Em,” Ontari mutters, still displeased about that detail. If they could have more than five people in their team, they would have teamed up for sure.

“Sucks for them that they’re stuck with Luna and Costia,” Octavia says, glad they don’t have to.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Remember to follow the instructions on the map you’ve been given,” Clarke warns the students. “Do not lose your map.”

“If you get lost, use your walkie to contact us and we will come find you,” Raven adds.

“A treasure map?” Ontari scoffs, staring at it as she holds it open in her hands. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Lexa agrees with Ontari that it is ridiculous they’ve been given a treasure map to look for god knows what in the middle of the night.

“We want you all to take this seriously,” Clarke says with a strong voice. She can tell that to the students it appears ridiculous or even childish, but this is a way to test how well they can follow instructions and the maps they’ve been given aren’t identical. The maps aren’t fully self-explanatory; the students will have to think about it, which is a part of the challenge. “Teamwork is important.”

“Get ready, students,” Raven says loudly. “Once you found your treasure, you are expected back here around the campfire.”

“The clock starts…,” Clarke says as she holds her stopwatch ready. “Now!” she shouts loudly, starting her stopwatch.

Raven stares at the stopwatch as some students leave fast, while others are slower. She knits her eyebrows together when all students are finally gone and nearly a full minute has passed. “This night could take a while,” she says, sighing as she fills herself a cup of orange juice. “Do you want some?”

“It probably will,” Clarke agrees, since they know that averagely it would take an hour with the maps that have been given. “Yes, I’d like some.”

Raven fills another cup and hands it to Clarke. “I hope one of our teams will win,” she says, since that would be nice. “Costia might win with her team, if they all cooperate.”

“It has been nice being out here,” Clarke says, looking around at how beautiful it is to be in the forest, even more so at night. The earthy smell of the forest is far more pleasant to breathe in rather than going for a walk through the city. “Aside from the times where we had to look for the girls,” she adds thoughtfully.

Raven laughs lightly. “I agree, overall it was nice.”

“I’m happy to go home tomorrow,” Clarke admits. “I really miss Aden and this hasn’t been easy.”

“I must say you’ve been handling it surprisingly well,” Raven whispers, having assumed Clarke would have struggled more with it than she did. She’s happy to go home as well, to see Anya again so they can spend some time together.

“I’m relieved we have a one week vacation after this trip,” Clarke says, pleased that she can use that week to fully concentrate on her son.

“Are you looking forward to your date?”

“My da- oh,” Clarke replies, a bit confused until it hits her that she promised Niylah a date. “I forgot,” she shamefully admits. Out of all the things she has had on her mind, that wasn’t one of it.

“If you’re not okay with dating her, you should tell her.”

“I thought you couldn’t wait for me to date people,” Clarke says surprised.

“I know,” Raven says knowingly, well aware of that fact. “It’s just that you shouldn’t feel forced to do something. Sure Niylah has been watching Aden for you and that’s sweet of her, but that doesn’t mean she gets to trick you into dating her.”

“You’re right,” Clarke agrees, sighing deeply. She empties her cup and gently puts it down next to her, keeping the cup for later. “I think I’ll go on that date with her though, it might do me good,” she says, thinking how maybe if she dates people, she’ll forget her silly thoughts about Lexa. Not that she’d tell Raven why she’s deciding to date anyway.

“Sounds like you came around as well,” Raven points out. “If it feels right, then it’s fine.”

“I can’t believe Aden turns two in two weeks from now,” Clarke says, changing the topic. It’s tough for her to watch him grow up so fast and a part of her wishes he would always stay her baby, but she knows that’s not possible.

“He’s such an adorable little guy,” Raven says sweetly, thinking about Aden’s cute little smile and chubby cheeks. “We will make sure his party is good.”

“I appreciate you and Anya are allowing me to have his party at your place,” Clarke says gratefully, although she’s also thankful Lexa said yes.

“Someday I hope to have a child. Not yet, but someday.”

“Do you know how Anya feels about children?”

“We haven’t really talked about it yet,” Raven says as she moves to fill her cup again. “Do you want some more?”

“Half is enough, thanks,” Clarke replies. “Since the whole moving in is still fresh, you have time to talk about children later on.”

“Yeah, I was thinking that too,” Raven agrees, aware how fresh it all is. It’s something she’ll talk about with Anya at some point, to hear what she wants and how she feels about that. Of course that’s not something that would happen anytime soon.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ontari laughs loudly when Monty and Jasper both cough. “Watch out, kids,” she teases. “Those joints are strong.”

“I’m going to need more of this,” Jasper says before taking another pull from his joint.

Ontari grins and reveals the rest of the joints she has on her. “No worries, I got us all covered.”

“I can’t believe we have to follow this dumb map,” Octavia groans. She studies it in an attempt to make some sense out of it.

“We have to take a left turn soon,” Lexa says as she looks at the map.

“I don’t get the point of this,” Ontari says, complaining. “This is our Halloween night and we’re walking around with some map to find a treasure.”

“I bet the treasure will be candy or something,” Octavia guesses. She looks at the map again and can’t figure it out. “How do you know we have to take a left turn soon?” she asks Lexa, confused.

Lexa shrugs and blows her smoke out. “I just know,” she says calmly. She’s glad that each team has a different map, so others aren’t directly in their path or anything. Her phone buzzes in her pocket, causing her to reach for it. She smiles when she sees it is a text from Anya.

“Have you told Anya about the cat yet?” Octavia asks, assuming Lexa is texting with Anya.

“I’ll tell her now,” Lexa replies as she sends a text off to Anya. It’s a relief to her that Roan messaged earlier today to let her know he took her cat to the vet and that he seems to be fine, only a bit underfed. “I hope she will let me keep him, I’d be bummed out if she doesn’t.”

“In the worst case he can stay with me,” Ontari offers, although she hopes Lexa will get to keep him. “Roan won’t mind one bit.”

“Yes!” Lexa cheers when she receives a text back from Anya. “She’s letting me keep him.” She smiles and moves her fingers quickly to type a reply, to inform her cousin a bit more.

“I knew Anya hadn’t lost her cool yet,” Octavia comments. “I’m happy for you, Lex.”

Lexa dismisses the confused looks she’s getting from Monty and Jasper, who have no idea what’s going on.

“Hey, there’s this big college party coming up,” Ontari says while reading a text on her phone. “It’s a few hours to drive there, so we’d have to leave in the afternoon or something.”

“When is it?” Octavia curiously asks. She can imagine her mother would say no, but she’s going anyway.

“In two weeks,” Ontari replies. “You down?”

“Yeah, toats,” Octavia says enthusiastically. “I’ll tell my mother I’m staying over at your place.”

“I can’t,” Lexa says, taking a deep breath. She knows that in two weeks it is Aden’s birthday party at her home and of course she’ll be there.

“What?” Ontari asks, shocked. “Why not?” She’s surprised that Lexa out of all people would say no to a college party, which makes her wonder what she has to do that’s more important or better.

“There will be a party at my place, some family type of thing,” Lexa answers. “Another time,” she promises, knowing there will be enough college parties coming up.

‘Family only?”

“You can come if you’d like,” Lexa offers, having no trouble with that. She’s aware her friends might comment once they know it is a birthday party for Miss Griffin’s son.

“What if we leave a bit later?” Octavia suggests. “Then we can do both.”

Lexa thinks about it for a moment and realizes that’s not a bad idea, since the party won’t even last until the evening. “Yeah, that works,” she replies finally, making a decision.

“Fine by me,” Ontari says. “Okay in two weeks from now, party at your place and then we’re off to that college party.”

“Can we join?” Jasper asks, pointing at Monty and himself.

“Dude, we don’t even know you,” Ontari replies bluntly. She doesn’t plan to invite any juniors, although she will ask Lola if she wants to join with her friends.

Lexa has to refrain from laughing as Ontari’s cold reply causes Jasper and Monty to look like sad puppies who just lost their toy. “Invite only,” she says dryly.

“They look sweet,” Octavia whispers to Lexa and Ontari. “I’d say we could invite them, they seem like nice guys.”

“You’re too soft sometimes,” Ontari replies, shaking her head. “Lex?”

“Don’t look at me,” Lexa says, holding her hands up. “Invite whoever, as long as we get to party.” She doesn’t care if Jasper and Monty would go or not, since they’re not her friends or anything.

“Whatever then,” Ontari sighs, giving in.

“Does this mean we can go?” Monty asks hopefully. “We won’t be a bother, I promise.”

“Yes, you can go,” Lexa answers. “We have to take a left here,” she says as she looks back at the map.

“Hey fuck you two,” Ontari hisses while Jasper and Monty cheer loudly. “Tone it down for fucks sakes, not the whole forest needs to hear us.”

Lexa laughs and pats Ontari’s shoulder. “You’re awfully sweet tonight,” she teases, winking at her friend.

Ontari pulls another joint out of her pack and lights it up. “Want one?” she asks the others, holding it out to them.

“Thanks, babe,” Octavia whispers while taking one. “Light?”

Lexa grabs her lighter and uses it to light Octavia’s joint as well as one for herself.

“Yes, you can have one,” Ontari sighs as she sees Jasper and Monty staring at her pack like they’re children standing outside a candy store, waiting for the doors to open so they can grab some candy.

“Extra feisty tonight,” Octavia comments, amused to watch Ontari.

“Sue me for being a bit grumpy,” Ontari grumbles.

“A bit?” Lexa asks disbelievingly. “Try a lot.”

“You’re a doll, Lex,” Ontari says sarcastically. “Always supportive.”

“You know me,” Lexa shoots back, winking. She takes a drag from her joint, inhaling it deeply before blowing it all out in circles.

“Um okay…,” Octavia says, pointing ahead of them. “Are we supposed to go through that?”

Lexa looks at the parkour of tires, completely in their way and with a glance at the map she can see they do have to go through that.

“Last one through it owes the rest ten dollars,” Ontari says as she puts her foot down in one of the first tires.

“You’re going down, Ri,” Lexa says challengingly.

Octavia laughs as the boys stumble through it, while Ontari is trying to keep up with Lexa. She’s used to things being turned into a bet, which makes it interesting.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke crosses her arms when Lexa’s team finally returns to the campfire, being the last ones to get back. “It has been two hours,” she says, disappointed. “Everyone else has been back for an hour.”

“We were slow,” Lexa replies indifferently. “The map wasn’t easy.” She doesn’t feel like they should be given a hard time for being back later than the others. It’s not like any time limit was given or anything.

Raven hands Lexa a key, so she can open the lock of the chest. Directly after handing the key over, she sees the lock is already open or rather, broken. She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs, wondering why she would even bother.

“What?” Ontari asks, biting a bit. “It’s not like we knew we’d get a key.”

“Exactly,” Lexa chimes in. “We didn’t know.” She enjoyed watching Ontari kicking it open with a brutal force.

“Jasper and Monty ate most of the candy already,” Octavia says, laughing as the guys look like they just got caught with something outrageous.

“We have been waiting for you girls and guys,” Clarke says with a frustrated tone. She motions for them to sit near the campfire. “It is time for scary stories.”

Lexa grabs a blanket and snuggles close to Octavia and Ontari as she listens to the so called scary stories. She wouldn’t really admit it aloud, but she’ll miss it here, she’ll miss the nature. Once the summer breaks through, she might ask her friends to go camping together somewhere.

Clarke tries her best not to stare too much at Lexa as scary stories are being told by other teachers and students. She enjoys seeing the brunette all cozy with her friends, blissful even and she hopes this night will last for a while.

Octavia wriggles herself between Lexa’s legs, so her hair can be braided. “You know Lex is better at this, Ri,” she whispers softly after Ontari tells her she can do that as well.

“Braid mine next?” Ontari asks as sweetly as possible, batting her eyelashes at Lexa.

“You goof,” Lexa replies while laughing and nudging Ontari with her elbow. “I’ll braid yours soon,” she promises.

“Those braids look pretty,” Clarke comments once Lexa seems to be done braiding Octavia’s and Ontari’s hair. She tried not to watch the whole time, but there was something mesmerizing about the way the brunette’s fingers moved.

“I could braid yours if you want,” Lexa offers, not thinking much about it. She ignores the whispering between her friends as Clarke nods and she motions for her to approach. Once the blonde is sitting in front of her she weaves her fingers through her hair with expertise.

Clarke feels Lexa’s fingers gently braiding her hair and she appreciates how the brunette is carefully coaxing her about how to move her head. Even in an innocent moment like this, she knows Lexa will be trouble for her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now their camping trip is over, alas. 
> 
> In the next chapter there will be some interaction between Lexa and Aden.


	18. (Not) babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since this chapter is finished, I'm posting it today instead of tomorrow. 
> 
> Prepare for some fluff. :)
> 
> Lexa and Aden interaction coming up.

“Mommy!”

Clarke smiles brightly, crouches down and opens her arms for Aden. “Hey, baby,” she coos happily. “I missed you so much.” She embraces her son and picks him up, peppering his cheeks with kisses, earning giggles from Aden.

“He has been an angel,” Niylah says softly. “It was a pleasure to have him around.”

“Did he eat well?”

“Yes, aside from broccoli he was eating well.”

Clarke chuckles and shakes her head, knowing her son well. “Have you tried carrots when he refused the broccoli?” she asks, knowing carrots are his favorite and broccoli is something he scrunches his nose up for.

“I did,” Niylah replies with a smile. “He ate quite a bit of fruit, mostly bananas.”

“That’s good to hear,” Clarke says relieved. “I appreciate that you took care of him.” It means a lot to her that her son has been in good hands and ate healthy.

“It was nothing,” Niylah says as she moves her hand around. “I enjoy having Aden around, he smiles a lot and everyone here at the daycare adores him.”

Clarke feels like she can’t express enough how much she appreciates it that Niylah took care of Aden, especially since that isn’t a part of her job to take care of a child day and night, let alone three nights. “His birthday party is coming up in two weeks,” she says suggestively, hinting at an invitation while trying to be casual about it.

“It is hard to believe he’ll be turning two so soon. I still remember him as a baby.”

“Would you like to come to his birthday party?” Clarke asks, inviting Niylah. “I think Aden would like to have you around,” she says earnestly, knowing that Aden is quite attached to Niylah. Okay it sounds a bit like bribery, but it isn’t a lie that her son would enjoy having her around.

“I would love to be there,” Niylah replies with a big smile.

“I’ll text you the address later,” Clarke promises. For now she wants to take Aden home so she can spend some time with him and build a tower together. “I’ll text you about our date as well.” She has to find someone to watch her son, before she can agree to go on a date with Niylah, since she obviously can’t leave Aden home alone.

“Okay, Clarke,” Niylah replies kindly. “I look forward to hear from you.”

Clarke places Aden on her hip. “Say bye to Niylah,” she whispers to him.

Aden waves one of his little hands at Niylah. “Bye, Ni-Ni,” he says sweetly.

“Bye, Aden.”

Clarke hugs Aden a little bit tighter while she walks home with him. Even though those three days passed rather fast, they felt so long, as if it took ages for her to see her son again. Now that Aden will be turning two soon, it dawns on her that in a few months from now, he’ll be going to school and she can’t believe it is all going so fast.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Anya,” Lexa sighs as she tries to push Anya away from her. “I know you missed me, but that doesn’t mean you have to smother me… again.”

Anya relents when Lexa keeps trying to push her away and finally lets her go. “How was your camping trip?” she asks curiously. “Did you have fun?”

“It was okay,” Lexa replies with a shrug.

“So this is the cat you found,” Anya says as she bends down to pet Lexa’s cat. She’s surprised when he doesn’t run away and purrs. “He seems sweet.”

“Yeah I found him in the forest,” Lexa explains. “Tiger.”

“I’m a bit surprised you didn’t name him Garfield,” Anya comments, seeing how Lexa’s cat is orange. “You used to like that movie a lot when you were younger.”

“That was then, now is not then,” Lexa replies dryly. “Garfield doesn’t suit him anyway, he’s way too skinny.”

“For now,” Anya retorts. “He won’t be so skinny anymore after a while.”

“Well I’d hope not, since he’s a bit underfed. You don’t need to make him fat like Garfield though.”

“I bought a few things for him,” Anya says with a smile. She proudly shows Lexa the things she bought and hopes she hasn’t forgotten anything. “The store manager from the pet shop helped me select everything, giving me information about what’s best.”

Lexa can hear the excitement in Anya’s voice as she shows everything and she can see the pride look on her cousin’s face. She appreciates it a lot that she’s allowed to keep her cat and that Anya went through all this trouble to get so many things for Tiger. “Thank you, Anya,” she whispers gratefully. “You’re the best.”

“I’m going to make some lunch,” Anya says with a small smile.

“Okay, I’ll be in my room, unpacking,” Lexa says calmly. She walks through the hallway up to her room. “It’s clear now, Raven,” she calls out as she lingers at the door of Anya’s bedroom and sees Raven unpacking.

“Okay,” Raven replies softly. She didn’t mind giving Anya and Lexa some time together first, so that’s why she went straight towards the bedroom to unpack first.

Lexa puts her music on and dances through her room as she unpacks. A few moments from the camp trip play through her mind, such as the moment where Clarke splashed her with water and how their canoe tipped over. It was fun how it was played off as an accident, but of course her friends know the truth like she does. She likes how Miss Griffin had the guts to splash her back, which isn’t something she’d expect from a teacher. If anything, other teachers might have given her detention for it or something. The few small conversations she had with Clarke were special and meant a lot to her. It feels like she’s being understood, which she doesn’t experience often if not from her best friends.

“Do you like my hoodie, Tiger?” Lexa whispers to her cat as he nestles himself on top of one of her hoodies. “Oh hey, I think that’s the one I was wearing the night I found you. You’re a smart one, aren’t you?”

Lexa frowns when her phone buzzes with a text. Surely her best friends are busy unpacking, although maybe they aren’t. She checks her phone and is surprised to see it is a number she doesn’t have in her contacts. Reading through the text, she quickly realizes it is from Clarke. “Hmm, babysitting Aden,” she whispers to herself once she read the text. She did make it clear that she’s not a babysitter and that she never babysat, so it’s odd that out of all people, she’s asked to babysit. It doesn’t make much sense to her why Miss Griffin would want a babysitter a few days from now while she missed Aden so much. Unless… oh.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“If anything happens, you have my number,” Clarke says, explaining once again. “I appreciate it that you’re doing this, Lexa.” She knows Lexa made it clear before that she’s not a babysitter by any means, but since she’s been so good with Aden and her son adores her, it seemed like a good idea.

“Yeah I know,” Lexa replies. She eyes Clarke, who looks good in her light blue jeans and purple blouse. The smell of perfume that’s hanging around the blonde reminds her of Chanel. “I’ll call you if it’s needed.”

“His food is in the fridge and there is some for you as well,” Clarke explains, having prepared beforehand. She didn’t want to saddle Lexa up with having to cook. “You’ll see that his food is smaller.”

“It will be okay,” Lexa assures Clarke, seeing how the blonde is stressing over nothing. “Have fun.”

“I’ll be back tonight,” Clarke promises. She hugs Aden and kisses the top of his head before leaving.

Once the door is closed, Lexa turns around and looks at Aden. “Hey, little buddy,” she coos.

“Lessa,” Aden shrieks while smiling at Lexa.

Lexa slowly zips her backpack open and smiles as Aden’s eyes are curiously glued to what’s in it. “Today we are going to make the biggest tower,” she whispers. “Bigger than your other towers have been.” She turns her backpack upside down, causing all the blocks she brought to fall out of it. “It’s an early birthday gift for you, but don’t worry, you will still get something on your birthday.”

Aden happily squeals while jumping up and down, clapping his hands together. “Towel!” he shouts loudly.

“That’s right,” Lexa confirms. “We’re going to build a tower.” She smiles when Aden impatiently starts to stack blocks together.

When the tower is getting too high for Aden to reach, Lexa lifts him up so he can continue to build it.

“Do you know what else is fun?” Lexa asks Aden, watching how he shakes his head. “If you kick your foot against it, the tower will fall down,” she explains while showing him with her own leg, without kicking the tower.

Aden is about to try it when Lexa quickly stops him.

“Not so fast, little buddy,” Lexa says as she lifts him up, realizing she spoke too fast. “Okay, now you can kick it.”

The moment Aden kicks his foot against the tower Lexa takes a few steps back with him so he wouldn’t get blocks all over him.

“It is important to always be careful,” Lexa warns. “Having fun is good, but you also have to be careful.” She puts Aden down again and picks one of the blocks up, dropping it purposely on her own foot. “Auwie,” she says as the block lands on her foot. “You see, Aden?” she asks, wanting to test if he understands. “When the blocks fall on you it will give you pain.”

Aden stares at Lexa for a while, then picks a yellow block up and drops it on his foot. “Wauwie,” he says while smiling.

“You’re too adorable for your own good,” Lexa mumbles as she tries to fight back a smile. “People don’t usually smile when they hurt themselves.”

Aden drops a few more blocks on his feet, repeating the same thing over and over again.

“Okay that does it,” Lexa says with twinkling eyes. “I’m going to eat you up.” She scoops Aden into her arms and blows a raspberry on his stomach, causing him to giggle. Enjoying his cute reaction, she does it again until he tries to push her face away. “Aww, you’re ticklish,” she coos.

“Lessa,” Aden giggles. “No, Lessa,” he giggles some more as Lexa tickles him.

Lexa gently puts Aden down. “Mhm yummy food,” she says as she rubs her hand over her stomach and licks her lips. “Let’s go to the kitchen for your food.” She grabs both of Aden’s hands and lifts him carefully on top of her feet. “You can walk with me.”

Aden coos while Lexa moves her feet in small steps, causing him to automatically move with her.

“You like that, eh?” Lexa says, laughing lightly. She sings a silly song as she walks; causing Aden to giggle again and she can’t imagine getting tired of hearing that sound.

Lexa tests the food after she heats it up, to make sure Aden won’t burn his tongue. “When we’re done eating I’ll take you to the park,” she says with a smile. “With the ducks.”

“Duck,” Aden coos happily. “Duck, duck, duck.”

“Yes, little parrot,” Lexa laughs. “We’re going to visit the ducks at the park, but you can’t tell your mommy.” She holds her finger to her lips. “It’s a secret, shhh.”

“Ssss,” Aden replies as he holds his finger in front of his lips, watching Lexa closely to copy her movement.

“Are you ever not adorable?” Lexa comments. She’s amused to see how Aden often tries to copy her and how he remembers things. “You have to stay close to me when we go outside. Today I’m going to teach you about stranger danger.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“We always have to look when we cross a road,” Lexa says thoughtfully as she holds on tight to Aden’s hand so he wouldn’t blindly cross the road. She crouches down next to him, to be at eyelevel. “First you have to look to the left,” she explains while pointing to their left. “Yes, just like that,” she encourages when Aden looks left. “Then you have to look to the right,” she continues as she points her finger to the right. “And then we look left again.”

Aden turns his face to look at Lexa and he chews on his bottom lip while he studies her.

It crosses Lexa’s mind how often Clarke chews her bottom lip as well when she seems to be thinking. She repeats her movements again as she speaks. “Left… right… left,” she says slowly, taking her time.

Aden hesitantly copies Lexa’s movements.

“Yes, that’s good,” Lexa cheers proudly. “You’re so smart, little buddy.”

Aden smiles and claps his hands together.

“Now when you look, you have to wait until there are no cars,” Lexa explains. She points at a car that’s passing by. “Car means auwie.” She waits until there are no cars and holds her thumb up from her free hand while still holding on to Aden with her other hand. “No cars is good, now we can walk to cross the road.”

“Lessa, duck!” Aden shouts loudly while pointing at the park across the road. “Lessa!”

“Yes, little buddy, I see,” Lexa replies softly. “We are not going to run. If you run you can fall and get an auwie.”

“Thans, Lessa,” Aden says when Lexa hands him a small bag with bread crumbs for the ducks.

“You’re welcome, little buddy,” Lexa replies with a smile. She sits down on the grass and watches Aden throwing bread crumbs into the pond.

“Lessa, look,” Aden says excitedly as he throws another handful of crumbs at the ducks.

“Good job,” Lexa says with a chipper tone as she holds her thumb up. “Not too close to the water, Aden,” she warns as she sees him stepping closer to the pond. “I don’t want you to fall in.”

“You have a beautiful son.”

Lexa nearly jumps up at the sudden unexpected voice. She turns around and sees an old woman with thick rimmed glasses smiling at her. “He’s not my son,” she kindly corrects the woman.

“Pardon my eyes,” the woman replies, clearly ashamed. “It’s sweet of you to take your little brother to the park.”

“No, he-”

“My older sister never liked going somewhere with me,” the woman says with a grim smile. “It is rare to see siblings spending time together.” She readjusts her glasses and places her hand on the top of Lexa’s head. “Have a nice day, dear.”

Lexa is speechless while she watches the woman walking away, confused by what just happened. She snaps her attention back to Aden who is still enthusiastically feeding the ducks. “Aden, come here,” she says while waving her arm.

Aden walks up to Lexa and hugs her.

Lexa gently makes Aden sit down in front of her and she pulls one of his dinosaurs out of her pocket. “Dinosaurs are dangerous,” she says. “Rawr,” she roars. “The dinosaur will bite you. Auwie.”

“Waww,” Aden roars.

“Strangers are dinosaurs,” Lexa explains. She points at a random stranger in the park. “Stranger… auwie.” She takes her time to explain it to Aden over and over again until she is convinced he might understand what she’s trying to teach him. The day she met Aden is something she’ll never forget, with the way he barreled into her and clung to her, even though she was a total stranger.

Aden is smiling when Lexa takes him to the play area where there is a slide.

Lexa sits down on a bench after she helped Aden to slide down a few times and she’s barely sitting when she hears him screaming his lungs out. In seconds she rushes to Aden’s side to see what’s going on.

Aden points his finger at a young woman who is standing nearby. “Auwie!” he mumbles and pouts.

Lexa sizes the young woman up, who looks completely shocked and moves her jaw up and down as if she’s trying to form words to explain. Even without an explanation, she can put two and two together.

“I…i…i,” the young woman stutters. She nervously tucks her hair behind her ears. “I was only saying hello, I swear.”

“I’ve been teaching him about stranger danger,” Lexa replies, explaining. She’s proud Aden did something when a stranger approached him, although she can understand how ashamed the young woman must feel because half the park is staring. “I’d rather have him screaming than not saying anything at all. Strangers can be dangerous and not everyone has good intentions.”

“I’m so sorry,” the young woman apologizes. She ducks her head and hurries away from them.

“High five,” Lexa whispers to Aden and smiles when he high fives her. She knows that eventually the technique needs to be refined, but for now Aden is still young and screaming is better than nothing at all. At least when he screams it draws a lot of attention and can scare the wrong people away. “I’m proud of you,” she whispers as she picks him up. “It’s going to get late soon, we’re going home.”

“Bye, ducks,” Aden coos, waving his hand while they leave the park.

Lexa smiles and bounces Aden on her hip, thinking that babysitting isn’t so bad. She’s pleased how he has been learning things and how quickly he understands something.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there wasn't much Clexa interaction in this chapter, but that will come eventually.   
> Patience is a virtue and eventually it'll be worth it. 
> 
> Not a fan of the slow-burn? Then this might not be your kind of story. Read the tags. :)


	19. Game on

“Do you like my dress?” Octavia asks as she spins around.

“I told her that dress isn’t ideal on a motorcycle,” Ontari says, shaking her head because Octavia doesn’t listen anyway. “You’ll be cold tonight, O.”

“It looks good on you,” Lexa says approvingly to Octavia, liking her red dress. “You can borrow one of my jackets tonight.”

“Thanks, Lex,” Octavia replies with a smile. “You’re a gem.”

“It’s good to have you both here,” Lexa says, happy to see her best friends. “Come in.”

“Hello, girls,” Anya says politely when she sees Ontari and Octavia. She’s glad to know that her cousin is staying for the party and that even her friends are staying, even though it is agreed that Lexa will be going out tonight and might leave the party a bit before it ends. “You’re early.”

“Hey, Anya,” Octavia replies with a smile. “We’re early?” she asks surprised while staring at Lexa, because they’re here exactly on time, or at least for what they’ve been told.

“Hi,” Ontari says dryly. “Long time no see.”

“Hello,” Raven says as she walks into the kitchen. By now she’s pretty much used to have Lexa around, but it is unusual to have Ontari and Octavia around. In this moment she can understand better how Lexa must feel to have teachers around at home.

“I see Tiger is looking better,” Octavia says as she notices that Lexa’s cat isn’t sickly thin anymore.

“He looks healthy,” Ontari agrees.

“I made chocolate cake,” Raven says as she points at the table. “Would you all like something to drink?”

“Coffee will be fine,” Lexa says, before her friends can request alcohol, which will be denied anyway.

“So this is a birthday party for Miss Griffin’s son?” Ontari asks, whispering to Lexa. She’s surprised when her friend nods to confirm, since she thought Lexa wasn’t serious.

“She’s Raven’s friend,” Lexa whispers with a hushed tone.

“I thought you were kidding,” Octavia whispers, genuinely surprised that this really is a birthday party for Miss Griffin’s son. “This party is for the kid who ran into you at the park?”

Lexa nods and sips tentatively from her coffee, watching as Clarke arrives with Aden and some woman.

“Lessa!” Aden shouts happily when he sees Lexa. He runs up to her and nearly trips over his own feet.

“Not so fast,” Lexa says as she catches Aden. “Hey, Aden,” she whispers while he hugs her. “Happy birthday, little buddy.” She picks him up and lightly caresses his cheek.

“He’s kind of cute,” Octavia says. “Happy birthday,” she says to the kid, smiling friendly at him.

“Happy birthday, kid,” Ontari says, nodding her head at him.

Aden shrieks when he catches sight of Lexa’s cat.

“That’s my cat,” Lexa explains, loving his childlike enthusiasm. “His name is Tiger. Would you like to pet him?”

Aden’s eyes widen and he nods.

Anya leans back against the counter, observing Lexa and it pleases her to see how friendly her cousin is being with Aden.

Raven smiles and whispers something in Anya’s ear, causing her to smile too.

“I can see I lost his attention,” Clarke says with a smile while she watches Aden petting Lexa’s cat, happily cooing. “Anya, this is Niylah,” she says as she points at Niylah, introducing her. “Niylah, this is Anya.”

“This kid seems crazy about you,” Ontari says to Lexa, commenting on how happy the kid acts around her.

“His name is Aden,” Lexa replies dryly.

“Okay, okay,” Ontari says, holding her hands up in a surrendering way. “He likes you.”

“Ri is right,” Octavia says, agreeing. “Aden likes you, Lex.”

“That’s because he’s my little buddy,” Lexa explains. “High five, Aden,” she says as she holds her hand up.

“No way,” Octavia gasps as Aden high fives Lexa. “But he’s so tiny.”

“How did you know he can do that?” Ontari asks, surprised.

“Aden, these are my best friends,” Lexa whispers to Aden as she points at her friends. “Ontari and Octavia, but I call them Ri and O.” She repeats herself a few times, while pointing at Ontari and Octavia.

“Ooo,” Aden says while he points at Octavia. “Li,” he says while pointing at Ontari.

“We can take this into the living room,” Anya suggests, politely shooing them all to move over there.

Clarke sits down on the couch next to Raven and next to Niylah. She’s relieved she was fast to sit down, so she could sit next to her friend rather than possibly having to sit near Lexa. The day the brunette had babysat Aden was quite something. Her date with Niylah didn’t go so smooth, since halfway through their meal at the restaurant, it was painfully clear they have different goals and views, which simply don’t match. When she got home after her date, her son was in his room and she heard Lexa telling him a bedtime story.

Niylah smiles when Aden crawls onto her lap.

“Ni-Ni,” Aden mumbles as he wraps his arms around her neck and hugs her.

Lexa isn’t even sitting down for two seconds when she gets up again. “I’ll go get some drinks,” she offers with a weak smile. Her eyes land briefly on the woman who is sitting close to Clarke and she assumes her date a while back must have gone well, or at least it looks like it did. She has no idea who that woman is, but since she is at this party, well, it tells her enough and she can see Aden likes her.

Ontari and Octavia both frown and look at each other as Lexa disappears into the kitchen.

“I can give you a hand,” Clarke whispers softly as she shows up next to Lexa in the kitchen. She doesn’t feel like everything should be carried by one person. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she apologizes when the brunette lightly jumps up.

Lexa turns around and leans against the counter. “Halloween is over,” she whispers with a smile. “No need to spook me now.”

“Does that mean I’m a ghost?” Clarke asks, not realizing she took a step closer. “Am I invisible?”

Lexa swallows hard at Clarke’s close proximity and the smell of her soap. “Not at all,” she whispers, tilting her head slightly to study the blonde, from the dimples in her cheeks as she smiles to the twinkle in her eyes. When a lock of Clarke’s hair falls, she reacts immediately and tucks her hair behind her ear, lightly caressing the blonde’s cheek with her thumb in the process, earning a gasp. “You could never be invisible to me,” she whispers, with more confidence this time. “I will always notice you.”

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers as her eyes drop down to Lexa’s lips for a second. “You say I could never be invisible to you,” she repeats, trying to keep her nerves together. “Does this mean you will always hear what I say?”

“Of course,” Lexa assures Clarke quickly, wondering why she’s being asked that.

“Good,” Clarke mumbles, smiling softly and taking a step back. “Then you can always pay attention in my class.”

Lexa is speechless when Clarke grabs some drinks and exits the kitchen and she has to hand it to her, that was well played, but if Miss Griffin thinks this is over then she’s wrong. During the camping trip she had noticed that it was possible Clarke had been flirting a bit with her, but she waved it off and told herself she must have been wrong. This time however, she is sure that Miss Griffin was indeed flirting with her, which tells her that her assumptions during the camping trip weren’t wrong. If Clarke wants to play a game with her, then she’ll show her how it’s played.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Aden, no,” Clarke says as she tries to stop him from entering Lexa’s bedroom, who went in there moments ago with Octavia and Ontari.

Lexa is standing in the middle of her bedroom, wearing only a shirt and her underwear while Ontari and Octavia are sitting on her bed. She stares briefly at the intruder and smirks when Clarke walks in directly after Aden, with a shocked look on her face. “Well hello,” she says amusedly.

Clarke mentally curses herself for staring when she notices Lexa’s tanned legs. She picks Aden up and hurries towards the door. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles right before shutting the door.

Lexa tells herself that the next thing she’ll teach Aden is how to knock. She’s not mad at him that he made this mistake and she’s definitely not mad that Clarke walked in after him.

“I’d go with the black pants,” Octavia says, looking at Lexa and humming as she’s sure of her choice. “Definitely black.”

“I think your dark grey pants would be better,” Ontari says, disagreeing with Octavia.

“I’ll go with black,” Lexa decides as she slides her black pants over her legs and zips it up. “It’ll match with my leather jacket.”

“That college party is going to be fun,” Ontari says, psyched to go since she’s been looking forward to it. “Maybe you’ll hook up with some college girl, Lex,” she adds with a wink. “There are going to be tons of girls at that party.”

“Do you think this time they’d notice we’re younger?” Octavia curiously asks, knowing they usually hide it well. “Em, Tris and Lol are going with us and they’re only sixteen. They might give us away.”

“Nah, not necessarily,” Lexa replies, feeling like it doesn’t matter. “We got away with it when we were sixteen and so will they,” she says, sure of her words. “Besides, even if some people notice, they won’t care. It’s a college party, not some club asking for ID’s.”

“I might spend some time with someone,” Octavia decides, thinking it over. “When this school year is over I’m fully going for Lincoln though,” she says without a doubt, since she really likes him.

“Geez, you only knew him for three days,” Ontari comments.

“Please, you got into Lola fast,” Octavia retorts. “Preach for your own church.”

“O has a point,” Lexa says, knowing they both fell fast. “You can’t help attraction, whether it is slow or fast.”

“Speaking of fast, you toats hit on Miss Griffin on our first day,” Ontari points out, laughing lightly.

“Keep it down,” Lexa says grumpily, sighing because Clarke is still in her house and she doesn’t want to risk her overhearing. “She looks hella fine for a teacher.”

“Anyways, I still don’t get why you’d date a girl or something and then you’d go for Lincoln,” Ontari says to Octavia, not understanding how she could do that.

“It’s not that weird for me. I could be into anyone really.”

“It’s a shame Tris and Em aren’t into girls,” Ontari comments, staring briefly at Lexa.

“I’m not going to hook up with a junior,” Lexa says bluntly. “I’m not into younger women. You know I prefer older women.”

“College girl it is.”

“I’m ready to go,” Lexa says after one last look in her mirror. She leaves her room and walks up to the kitchen, where the others are still eating some chocolate cake. “I’m leaving,” she announces, causing them to glance up at her. “Bye, Aden,” she whispers as she ruffles his hair for a moment.

“Bye, Lessa,” Aden replies while waving at her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is crossing the parking lot when she sees two motorcycles arriving at a fast speed and she doesn’t even need a second to realize it is Lexa and her friends. She stops walking for a moment and watches how the brunette stops her motorcycle, takes her helmet off and runs her hand through her hair. In her mind she plays it on repeat, mesmerized by the way Lexa’s hair flows along with the wind.

“I told you I’d win again, Ri,” Lexa says with a big smile. “Though I do admire how you keep trying.”

Ontari flips Lexa off, hoping that one day she’ll be faster. “The way you slide over the road is crazy,” she says. “You go so low when you take a turn that you might as well scrape over the road with your elbows.”

“It’s scary sometimes,” Octavia says, given how often she hitches a ride from Lexa. “Cool, but scary.”

Lexa notices Clarke across the parking lot and smiles to herself when the blonde resumes her walk towards the school building. Clarke can’t fool her, she totally caught her staring, there’s no denying that. Her weekend has been great, with Aden’s birthday party and the college party.

“I still have a light headache,” Octavia mumbles as she massages her temples.

“We did party hard,” Lexa says, not even remembering how much drinks she had. They were all so wasted they had to crash at the party. She drank a lot of cheap bear, which tasted like trash, but it did the trick. “The free weed was good,” she says as she remembers how college guys and girls were giving them weed, handing it out like candy.

“Lola passed out on top of me,” Ontari says, grinning. “Good times.”

“You two really hit it off, eh?” Lexa asks, smiling while nudging Ontari with her elbow.

“I remember you being all over one of those college girls, Lex,” Octavia points out, recalling how at the party Lexa was tongue deep with some random girl. She can see the confused look her friend is giving her. “You don’t even remember do you?”

Lexa sighs and shakes her head, not remembering that at all. Perhaps she does vaguely, but her memory of what happened at the party is foggy at best. When the school bell rings, she snaps out of her thoughts.

“Another day of hell,” Ontari mutters displeased.

“Miss Griffin first,” Octavia says. “Then lab with Miss Reyes.”

Lexa tucks half of her navy blue shirt in her jeans, leaving the other half hanging and she takes a moment to fix her collar. She grabs her Swiss blade, clips it open and uses it to brush her hair to the side, letting it flow over her shoulder. With a smile on her face, she closes her Swiss blade and tucks it in the side of her left boot.

“I gotta get me one of those,” Octavia says impressed. It was cool to see Lexa doing that trick and now she can see why that one cashier would be too scared of her friend to ask for her ID when she buys alcohol. Her mother wouldn’t approve of her having a Swiss blade, but she doesn’t care about that and in a few months she’ll be eighteen anyway, so she’ll do whatever she wants.

Ontari fishes her Swiss blade out of her pocket and hands it to Octavia. “You can have it, I have more at home,” she says while closing her friend’s fingers around it.

“Sweet,” Octavia replies, smiling as she puts it away in her pocket. “Thanks, babe.”

Clarke is sitting behind her desk, watching her students enter one by one. Everyone just got inside when Octavia walks in, followed by Ontari and lastly, Lexa. She can see the brunette fixed her hair a bit, not that her hair even needed to be fixed in the slightest. Seeing Lexa from such a close distance is better than seeing her across the parking lot and yet, she has to ask herself if this is truly better.

Lexa casually slides her hands in the pockets of her jeans as she enters the classroom, sending a wink in Miss Griffin’s direction. She’s ready to settle the score with Clarke for the stuff she pulled at Aden’s birthday party, to make it 1-1 and that will only be the beginning.

Clarke grabs a stack of papers to put on her desk, but Lexa is distracting her so much with that mischievous smile on her face that she ends up accidentally dropping all the papers on the floor. She sighs quietly and wonders what the brunette is up to, because there’s no way she would believe Lexa isn’t up to something.

Lexa crouches down, reaching for the papers. “Let me help you with that, Miss Griffin.”

“It’s okay, Lexa,” Clarke says silently, wanting to dismiss her help. “You can take your seat.”

“I don’t mind giving you a hand,” Lexa whispers. She brushes her hand over Clarke’s and hides her smile when the blonde reacts spooked. “I’m not a ghost either,” she whispers with a wink. Acting innocent, she collects the papers and places them on Clarke’s desk.

Clarke has to look away when Lexa walks to her desk while swaying her hips and she knows exactly what the brunette is up to. She also knows it is her fault, but this has to stop as soon as possible. When the students stare at her, she clears her throat. “Um, good evening, students,” she says quickly, still trying not to stare at Lexa.

“Miss Griffin,” Octavia says while frowning.

“Yes?”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but it’s morning,” Octavia says dryly. “If the light outside wasn’t a hint yet.”

Clarke feels her cheeks heating up as all her students laugh out loud while Lexa is sitting there, pretending like she’s an angel.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, let the tension begin. :)


	20. We know

“You look tired,” Raven says to Clarke as she enters the teachers’ lounge for lunch. “Didn’t sleep much?” she asks, guessing. “Rough day?”

“A bit of both,” Clarke admits. Her night hadn’t been that satisfying and so far her day hasn’t been all that great either.

“I heard from the students what happened,” Raven whispers while sitting down next to Clarke. Compassion is evident in her eyes. Her students kept whispering about it during her class, how out of it Clarke had been. “Every teacher can have an off day at times.”

“This is only my first year as a teacher and I’d rather not have students remembering me this way.”

“Don’t let it bother you too much,” Raven replies softly. “Everyone here has their own story about how they fucked up at one point or another.”

“What did you do the fuck up?” Clarke asks, wondering if Raven ever actually did fuck up, since most students really seem to like her class.

“Accidentally burned projects students worked weeks on, left without my students at a science fair although I did remember once I was halfway gone, made a few things go boom, …” Raven explains, naming it all like it was nothing. “Just a bunch of stuff really.”

Clarke sighs and stares at her sandwich. “How long do you think it’ll take for this to blow over?” she asks, knowing she made quite the fool out of herself.

“Either until something else happens, which could be soon or around Christmas, when they’ll focus on the school dance.”

“So about six weeks in the worst case scenario?”

“Pretty much,” Raven confirms. “If it bothers you, I can fuck up tomorrow and then they’ll forget about your little mistake,” she offers. It wouldn’t matter if she’d make a mistake at some point, considering how it always blows over after a while and since she isn’t new or anything, she doesn’t let it bother her.

“You don’t have to do that, Raven,” Clarke replies, thankful for the offer. “I’ll wait until it blows over.” This is something she has to learn how to deal with, realizing this was her first mistake and may not be her last.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ontari smiles when Lola sits down next to her. “I got an extra chocolate pudding,” she says casually while showing it. “You can have it if you want.”

“Mhm yes,” Lola replies, licking her lips. “How did you get it?”

“The lunch lady gives us extras sometimes,” Lexa explains.

“It’s cool that we can sit here,” Emori says. “Other students are staring because you’re letting us sit with you guys.”

“That’s because you’re juniors,” Octavia says bluntly. It’s a big deal for juniors to share a table with seniors, especially when it comes to their gang. “And because we usually don’t let people sit with us,” she adds as an afterthought. That only happens when they’re dating someone.

“You three are with us now,” Lexa says as she opens her Swiss blade and cuts her apple into thin slices. “Slice?” she asks, offering some up to her friends.

“Just like that?” Trisha asks while accepting a slice from Lexa.

“Yes,” Lexa replies coolly. She doesn’t mind Trisha, Emori and Lola because they’re rebels as well and once she’s off to college with Octavia and Ontari, they will be at the top of the chain in this school anyway. They’re chill to hang out with, which she noticed during the camping trip.

“Miss Griffin was being such a dork today,” Ontari says, laughing. “I loved your reaction, O.”

Octavia shrugs. “Someone had to tell her what’s what,” she says bluntly.

Lexa sees Costia sitting at a table, kissing with a girl while Luna is sitting across from her. It’s odd to see one of her exes showing affection publicly, especially since Costia never was much into public displays of affection. She catches Luna staring at her with a sad look, making her wonder what the hell she wants.

“Lex, you wanna hang at the park this weekend?” Octavia asks, noticing how distracted her friend is. “We could go skateboarding.”

“Yeah sure,” Lexa replies. “I’m down.”

“Y’all coming?” Ontari asks Lola, Trisha and Emori. “You can watch O falling on her face.”

“Oi bitch,” Octavia replies with a bite. “I can skateboard, you’ll see this weekend.”

Lexa is eating a slice of her apple when she notices a young girl carrying her lunch to her table, but being stopped by a bunch of other girls who toss her lunch on the floor. “Hey,” she speaks up while she walks up to them. “This is not chill.”

The girls hurry to run away, scared to get in trouble.

Lexa sighs and shakes her head. Sure she’s a rebel and so are her friends, but if is one thing they’re not it is bullies. She’s not always the nicest person around, but she doesn’t condone outright bullying. “You must be a freshman,” she says to the young girl. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Reese,” the girl replies shyly.

“You can sit with us,” Lexa says while she guides Reese to her table.

Ontari grins smugly while the whole cafeteria is staring at them. “Sandwich?” she asks as she slides it towards the girl. “We look scarier than we are.”

Octavia puts a glass of cola down in front of the girl. “Yeah, what Ri said,” she agrees. “You scared those girls away, Lex,” she says amusedly to Lexa.

“I didn’t even say that much,” Lexa replies earnestly. She knows she never needs to say much when it comes to bullies. “They won’t bother you anymore,” she says to Reese.

“I’ve never seen you here before, kid,” Ontari comments. Not that she’d know much of the younger students anyway. Hell, she didn’t even know Lola before the camping trip, which says enough.

Reese looks at them all while fidgeting with her shirt. “I… I recently moved here…,” she mumbles. “W-with my dad.”

“You can sit with us if anyone bothers you again,” Lexa offers, although she doubts that would happen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s eyes widen when Aden screams. “Oh my,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry,” she says to the other woman with a child. “I don’t know why he’s screaming like this, he never did this before.” She has no explanation whatsoever why her son would react so heavily when the woman was only trying to kindly introduce her child.

“Auwie,” Aden mumbles.

Clarke is about to say something when Aden runs off. “Aden, no!” she calls out, running after him.

“Lessa!” Aden shouts loudly. “Lessa!!”

Clarke looks further ahead and sees a ramp where Lexa appears to be skateboarding. “Not so fast, Aden,” she pleads as she tries to catch him, realizing she needs to do something about her condition.

Aden runs onto the ramp, innocent and unknowing. He giggles when people skateboard past him and Lexa scoops him up.

Lexa abruptly stops her board and holds Aden out in front of her. “It is very dangerous to run here without looking,” she says strictly. She looks to where Clarke is catching her breath and shakes her head in disbelief. “You could have gotten hurt.”

Octavia skids to a stop next to Lexa. “Oh hey, the kid from the party,” she says, recognizing him.

“Man, I bet he’d glue himself to you if he could,” Ontari mumbles as she shows up on Lexa’s other side. “Maybe he wants to skateboard.”

“He’s only two years old, Ri,” Lexa says, shaking her head. “This ramp is no place for a toddler.”

Clarke is embarrassed when Lexa hands Aden to her, embarrassed how he screamed and then ran off. “Thank you for stopping him,” she says gratefully, relieved that her son didn’t get hurt.

“Lessa,” Aden says while he stretches his arms out for her.

Lexa glances at her friends. “I’ll be back in five minutes,” she promises them.

Clarke holds Aden close while she walks towards a bench, followed by Lexa. She sits down and gently puts her son down next to her.

“Sometimes you’re slow,” Lexa says as she sits down next to Clarke.

“Aden was running fast,” Clarke excuses herself. “But you’re right. I have to do something about my condition.”

“You’re here alone with Aden?”

“Yes, I wanted to spend some time with him here at the park.”

“Hmm, I see,” Lexa replies. “Where’s that woman who was with you at his birthday party?” she asks as casually as possible, assuming Clarke is dating that woman.

“You must be talking about Niylah,” Clarke realizes. “She works at the daycare where Aden goes to while I’m working,” she explains.

“Oh okay,” Lexa says, hiding her surprise since she didn’t expect that. “We could grab some dinner later,” she suggests.

“We shouldn’t do that, Lexa,” Clarke warns.

“You’ve been staring at me all week,” Lexa points out bluntly.

“I was looking at you to see if you were paying attention,” Clarke lies. She knows she has been staring, even though she was trying hard not to.

Lexa holds Aden when he clambers onto her lap. “If you say so,” she scoffs, seeing right through Clarke’s lie. “Okay no dinner then. How about ice cream?”

“Lexa, we-”

“Ice cleam!!!”

Lexa smiles and gets up from the bench, putting Aden down gently. “He wants ice cream,” she says softly. His response was very much up to her expectations and she’s pleased to have Aden on her side in this. “You could get some too, if you want.”

Clarke can tell she’s being set up, because of course Aden wants ice cream. “I know what you’re doing, Lexa,” she says, displeased, letting her knows she’s onto her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lexa replies, deciding to act ignorant and innocent, even though she knows she’s not.

“You’re not as innocent as you appear.”

“You should know,” Lexa retorts coldly. “The canoe, Aden’s birthday party…,” she sums up, sighing. “Need I say more?” she asks rhetorically, knowing she said more than enough since her point has been made. “The ice cream is on me,” she says as she takes Aden’s hand in hers.

“This is not a good idea, Lexa.”

“It is only ice cream, relax,” Lexa replies, wondering why Clarke is making such a fuss out of it. “It’s not like I’m asking you to sleep with me… yet,” she whispers with a wink.

Clarke’s jaw drops at Lexa’s words and she can only hope the brunette isn’t being serious. She ignores the part of her that wants Lexa to be serious, because it is wrong. On the first day she met the brunette, Lexa already made quite the impression on her, one that she won’t forget and ever since that day, more impressions have been added, both good and bad.

“Would you like yours with a spoon so you can scoop?” Lexa asks. “Or rather on a cone so you can lick?” She licks her lips and thinks about the various flavors. “I’ll have mine on a cone, I like to lick.”

“A cone will be fine,” Clarke replies calmly, composing herself.

“Licking something sweet is nice,” Lexa whispers softly. “My ice cream tends to drip all over my fingers, I often make a mess.”

“I bet you have no problem licking your fingers clean,” Clarke says without thinking. The moment she is aware of her mistake, it is too late, because of course Lexa heard her.

Lexa’s eyes twinkle evilly. “I prefer it when someone else licks my fingers clean,” she whispers near Clarke’s ear. “You’re welcome to have a taste, if you’d like.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Yo bitch,” Ontari calls out. “You said five minutes, but you’ve been gone for almost half an hour.”

“Language,” Lexa and Clarke both say at once.

Octavia knits her eyebrows together and shares a knowing look with Ontari.

Lexa clears her throat. “Because of Aden,” she explains while she points at Aden, who is innocently enjoying his chocolate ice cream.

“Okay my bad,” Ontari admits, seeing how it was wrong of her to curse in front of a kid.

“We’ve been waiting for you,” Octavia says. “We’re trying new tricks.”

“I’ll catch up in a bit,” Lexa promises.

Ontari and Octavia take that as their cue to leave.

“You’re seeing it too, right?” Octavia asks Ontari the moment they’re not within earshot anymore.

“Yeah, I see it,” Ontari replies. “They got some weird stuff going on.”

“Not to mention how Miss Griffin has been staring at Lexa a lot during class.”

“I bet she has the hots for Lex,” Ontari says with a grin.

“They have stuff in common,” Octavia points out. “I think Lex is into her.”

“Hmm, she could be,” Ontari replies thoughtfully. “She gets along with her kid. Kind of crazy though,” she comments. “I can’t imagine dating someone who has a kid.”

“I get that,” Octavia agrees. “We ain’t even eighteen yet. Lex will be eighteen soon though, but still.”

“Our commander probably knows what she’s doing.”

“I wonder if Lex knows we know,” Octavia wonders out loud. It’s been obvious that Lexa has been distracted, which could mean she doesn’t know.

“Nah, I don’t think she knows.”

“How are things between you and Lol?” Octavia asks, changing the topic.

“We’re slowly going places.”

“Race ya to the ramp.”

“Fuck no,” Ontari says, shaking her head. “We’re not five or some shit.”

“Ten dollars says I win.”

“Your ass will be grass, grounder.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa locks her arm with Octavia’s as they enter school for the Christmas dance. She was rather late to ask someone to be her date, so she asked one of her friends. Ontari is already going with Lola, which made that only Octavia was available. Not that she’d have any issues to find a date, but for the time being she isn’t interested to date a random girl at her school.

“I like the way you look in that tux, babe,” Octavia says with a smile.

“You’re pretty with that dress of yours,” Lexa replies.

“We should ditch this dance early,” Ontari suggests. “There’s another college party tonight.”

Lexa considers her options, whether she would go and party tonight, which can take all night long or if she should go home and relax with a movie. “I have to think about it,” she finally says, wanting some more time. “We just arrived at this dance, so there is still time to decide.”

“It would be fun to go,” Octavia says, wanting to convince Lexa to join since it is more fun with her around. “Oh by the way, I told my mother we’re having a sleepover. It doesn’t really matter where I’ll be sleeping though, it just won’t be at home.”

“You can sleep at my place tonight,” Lexa says calmly. It’s been a while since anyone stayed over at her place for the night and she knows Anya wouldn’t object to it anyway. She is free to let someone sleep over, as long as they’re not being loud.

“Or mine if Lex doesn’t go to the party with us,” Ontari offers.

Lexa looks around at the other students who brought a date and at those who went with their friends. “The music sucks,” she notes as she hears a bunch of Christmas songs playing. “This dance looks boring.”

Raven smiles while she hands Clarke a cup of orange juice. “Good ol’ Christmas music,” she says, remembering how often she heard music like this around the holidays.

“It’s nice that we were allowed to bring a date,” Clarke says before sipping from the cup. “I must say I didn’t expect that,” she admits, still surprised. “For the students, sure, but not for us teachers.”

“It does seem unusual,” Raven replies, understanding Clarke’s surprise. “The main reason is to allow teachers to bring their partners, since it is holiday season for us as well.”

“Is Anya stopping by later?” Clarke asks, since she doesn’t spot Anya yet.

“No, she isn’t,” Raven says, shaking her head slightly. “We decided it is better if she wouldn’t be at the dance.” She had a long talk about it with Anya and they decided together it is better for Lexa if Anya would stay home. “Next year I will bring her.”

Clarke is distracted when Wells stretches his hand out to her.

“May I have this dance?” Wells politely asks Clarke.

Clarke gives Raven an apologetic look. “Would you mind if I…?” she asks unsure, not wanting to be rude by ditching her friend all of the sudden.

“I don’t mind,” Raven assures Clarke. “Go, silly,” she says while stealing her cup out of her hand. “Have fun.”

“Okay,” Clarke replies with an amused smile. She accepts Well’s hand to dance with him.

Lexa is talking with her friends when she stops mid-sentence, noticing Clarke kissing with Wells, the ranger from the camping trip they went on. She empties her cup and crumples it, tossing it to the side. “We should ditch this dance now,” she says to Octavia and Ontari. “It’s lame and I’m sick of it.”

Ontari raises her eyebrow, surprised that Lexa suddenly made up her mind to leave so soon. “Sure yeah,” she says, tossing her cup aside. “Lol, you ready to leave?”

“Um okay,” Lola replies hesitantly. “No problem.”

Ontari tugs Lola closer and kisses her sweetly. “I’ll give you a ride,” she whispers.

Lexa grasps Octavia’s forearm. “You can ride with me,” she says, telling her friend rather than offering. Seeing how Clarke is still kissing with that disgusting man, she walks faster towards the exit of this dumb dance.

“Lex, you okay?” Octavia asks concerned the moment they’re outside and watches Lexa kicks a trashcan over. She knows this isn’t the way her friend is, so she can tell something must have happened.

“Ri, you got a joint for me?” Lexa asks with an angrier tone than she intends to use, while ignoring Octavia’s question.

Ontari nods and hands Lexa one.

“I’m ready to party,” Lexa announces with a grin. She can’t wait to go party and get drunk, because after weeks of mutual flirting with Clarke, she just had to see her kissing with a guy. “Last one to arrive at the college party is a little bitch.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That went well... :)


	21. Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was actually going to post this chapter tomorrow, but since it is finished and I'm not the most patient one in the bunch either, I decided to post it now. 
> 
> Enjoy. :)

Clarke tries to get into kissing Wells, but after a while she realizes it is simply not working and that this is not what she wants. She pulls away from him and shakes her head. “I can’t,” she says, feeling sorry for Wells. “It’s not you, I just… I can’t.”

“I apologize for overstepping,” Wells replies, taking a step back as well. “Would you like me to leave?”

“You don’t necessarily have to leave,” Clarke says, aware that she is the one who invited him.

“Thank you for the invite,” Wells says kindly. He kisses Clarke’s cheek, turns around and leaves the dance.

Clarke sighs, knowing that she tried, she really did, but she couldn’t. It’s not right if she would have to force herself to like someone in that way when she doesn’t. Wells is a friend in her eyes, at best. She looks around, trying to spot Lexa who was with her friends a while ago, but she doesn’t see her or her friends anywhere.

“What happened?” Raven asks worriedly, noticing Wells took off.

“Wells is a nice guy, but I couldn’t do it,” Clarke answers, explaining. “It didn’t feel right.”

“You can dance with me, if you want,” Raven offers. She types a text, sighing as she types. “Sorry, I’m letting Anya know quickly that Lexa left the dance,” she explains. “It’ll only take a minute.”

“Lexa left?” Clarke asks, surprised. “It hasn’t even been an hour yet.”

“I know,” Raven replies, equally surprised. “It’s been about fifteen minutes, actually.”

“She must have really hated this dance.”

“I’m not sure,” Raven says, not quite agreeing. “She seemed upset.”

“Are you sure nothing happened?”

“All I saw was that one moment she was talking with her friends, looking around and the next she looked upset,” Raven sighs as she types another text, to reply to Anya’s concerned response. “I hope she’ll get home safe tonight, because I don’t think she’s on her way home at this point.”

Clarke feels worried and wonders what might have upset Lexa. She looks around and notices that Luna is more than a bit attached to another girl, which could mean that’s what has upset Lexa. “I hope so too,” she says, genuinely wanting Lexa to get home safe.

“Anya and I worry so much about Lexa sometimes,” Raven confesses. “We had a talk about children, a week or so ago. It is something we both want, but we agreed that we don’t want Lexa to feel neglected.”

“I think I can see your point,” Clarke replies, trying to understand. “It’s good to consider how Lexa would feel, but I also believe if you and Anya want a child, you shouldn’t necessarily keep yourselves from that.” She can’t predict how Lexa would react, but she does know how amazing she is when interacting with Aden, which means Lexa might also be great with the child Anya and Raven would have. “The happiness you have with Anya matters too.”

“We’re going to sit down with Lexa to hear how she feels and to let her know how we feel.”

“That’s a good idea,” Clarke says approvingly. “I’m happy for you that you and Anya are on the same page.”

“Do you think you would ever go for another child?” Raven asks curiously. “I can see that you adore Aden a lot, but perhaps you want more children at some point.”

“I would very much love to have another child in the future,” Clarke replies with a smile.

“Well, I hope you’ll meet someone amazing soon to make that all happen.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Octavia carefully parks Lexa’s motorcycle and she hides her scowl when she sees Anya standing near the door. She slings her friend’s arm over her shoulder, trying to walk to the door.

“Are we there yet?” Lexa asks, mumbling with her eyes half-closed. Her head is pounding as if someone smacked a hammer against it.

“We’re at your house,” Octavia whispers. “Anya is standing at the door.”

Lexa tries to straighten herself up a bit, but slumps back in Octavia’s arms.

Anya crosses her arms and she has to stop herself from raising her voice. “I was worried,” she says as calmly as possible. “You left the dance early and I had no idea where you were.” She’s glad Raven texted her to let her know when Lexa left, but after that she had no idea where her cousin was at.

“We had fun,” Lexa mumbles, barely coherent. “I’m home now, all good.”

Anya sighs and looks at Octavia for a moment. “You were driving?” she asks, even though she already knows the answer is yes because she saw them arriving and Octavia was driving. “Are you even allowed to drive a motorcycle?”

“I erm,” Octavia replies hesitantly. “Lexa wasn’t capable to drive safely, so I did.”

Anya is tempted to lecture Octavia on how dangerous it is to drive a motorcycle when she doesn’t have the permit for it, but she can see Lexa isn’t in any condition to drive. “Call me next time,” she warns, although she hopes there won’t be a next time.

“Will do,” Octavia half-promises. She slumps past Anya with Lexa to go to her bedroom.

Anya waves her hand in front of her face as a wave of alcohol hits her and she doesn’t even want to think about how much Lexa must have been drinking. “Do you need a hand, Octavia?” she asks, noticing how Octavia is struggling to hold her cousin up.

“Um yeah, that would be great,” Octavia says thankfully, knowing she can use the help. “Once she’s in her room I got it.”

Anya carries Lexa’s legs until she’s in her bed. “If you need anything, let me know,” she says to Octavia. With that, she leaves her cousin’s bedroom to go to her own where Raven is waiting for her.

Octavia slowly unbuttons Lexa’s shirt. “Sit up for a moment, Lex,” she whispers as she tugs at the shirt.

Lexa groans lightly in complaint, but sits up anyway. “Where are the others?” she asks while Octavia takes her shirt off.

Octavia tosses Lexa’s shirt to the side and unclasps her bra. “Ri left with Lol when I left with you,” she whispers softly. She slides her friend’s bra off and unbuttons her pants. “You have to stand up for a moment, just a second,” she instructs.

Lexa stands up and sees her room spinning. She lets herself drop back on her bed, closing her eyes.

“Dammit,” Octavia mutters to herself. She pulls at Lexa’s pants until they slide down her ankles, leaving her in her underwear. It’s not the first time she sees her friend almost naked and there have been plenty of times where they did see each other naked. “Don’t move,” she whispers, although she doubts Lexa would do that.

Lexa shivers and tugs at her blanket to cover herself up. “Cold,” she whispers while she grimaces.

Octavia was just about to turn back with a t-shirt in her hands, but considering Lexa is cold she selects a hoodie. “I’m going to pull your head through it first,” she whispers. “Okay, now your arms,” she continues as she grasps her friend’s left wrist. “Work a bit with me here.”

“Let me sleep,” Lexa whispers while pushing the palm of her hand against Octavia’s face in an attempt to push her away.

“I’m trying to put your hoodie on dammit,” Octavia mutters. “Unless you prefer to be cold all night, be my guest.”

Lexa whispers a few curse words but cooperates anyway. She’s relieved once she has her hoodie on, feeling the warmth of it against her skin.

Octavia takes her dress off and borrows one of Lexa’s oversized shirts. She lifts the blanket up and snuggles with her friend, closing her eyes as sleep beckons her.

“You’re a good friend,” Lexa whispers. She nuzzles her head against Octavia’s shoulder and plays with her hair. “Are you hungry? I’ll order pizza.”

“It’s the middle of the night, Lex,” Octavia sighs. “I just want to sleep. You should get some sleep too,” she suggests. She can tell that all the weed Lexa has been smoking at the party gave her munchies.

“Goodnight, O.”

“Goodnight, Lex.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m late, I know,” Lexa says, chuckling as she puts a few wrapped gifts under the Christmas tree. She’ll hand them out on New Year’s Eve, that’ll work. In a few days she’ll see her friends again, which she looks forward to. Two days ago Octavia left, after having spent the night at her place and she appreciates how her friend took care of her.

Anya makes a move like she’s zipping her mouth shut and throwing away an invisible key. She wasn’t going to comment on Lexa being late to put her gifts under the tree. Personally she doesn’t feel like her cousin even needs to buy any gifts, but she can imagine Lexa wants to give gifts to her friends as she does every year.

“Pancakes anyone?” Raven asks with a chipper voice. She stretches her arms and yawns a bit.

Lexa is pleased to see Raven is not only wearing a shirt, but also pants this time, even though she has to admit the Latina is very easy on the eyes. She looks down for a moment and realizes she’s walking around in a shirt. She tells herself that next time she’ll wear pants too, to compromise.

“I’d like some,” Anya says, licking her lips. “Two would be enough for me.”

“Lexa?”

“Yeah, same,” Lexa replies with a small smile.

“We need to talk to you about something,” Anya says softly. She shares a look with Raven and nods at her. “We can talk in the kitchen,” she suggests.

“Um okay,” Lexa says, confused. She wonders if perhaps she’s going to get yet another lecture about how she shouldn’t drink so much and whatnot. Without another word, she follows Raven and Anya into the kitchen and takes a seat.

Anya takes the seat in front of Lexa, so she can look at her. “Raven and I have been talking about a few things,” she begins while she thinks about what she’ll say next.

“Okay?” Lexa asks. “What things?”

“We want to have a child,” Anya admits bluntly, since it would be pointless to dance around it.

Lexa’s eyes widen, because she didn’t expect this. “A child?” she asks disbelievingly. “Raven has only been living here for three months,” she points out matter-of-factly.

“We have reached a point in our lives when we both want something real, something serious,” Anya explains. “Something that lasts.” She’s sure she wants to continue being with Raven for a long time.

“That sounds nice and whatnot, but a child? So soon?”

“Raven and I have been together for quite a while and you cannot stick a time on certain things.”

Lexa is blown away by this news and she feels like they’re going fast with everything, too fast even. She doesn’t want to think about how ugly it would turn out if they’d have a child and then split up, because then the child would get the short end of the stick.

“It would not happen for at least a few more months,” Anya explains. “Considering you live here too, we want to know how you feel about this.”

“Way to drop a bomb,” Lexa mutters quietly. She folds her hands together and she can see the hopeful look on Anya’s face and the matching one on Raven’s face, although she might as well call it delusional. “If you two want a child so badly, then sure, go for it,” she says, shrugging. “Don’t expect me to be a babysitter though,” she adds with a serious tone. “And as always, my room is off limits.”

Anya smiles, relieved by Lexa’s reaction, even though her cousin doesn’t sound quite sincere. “Of course,” she replies gently. “You don’t have to be a babysitter and your room is off limits.”

“There is one last detail though, before you start cheering,” Lexa backtracks, holding her finger up. “I do have one condition.”

Anya frowns and wonders what Lexa’s condition could be. “What would that be?”

Raven curiously leans against the counter, wondering if this is where it will all fall apart. So far it went well and she was glad to see Lexa reaction in a positive way, or at least a not so negative way. Now however, she’s concerned that will turn around.

“Having a child is a serious commitment,” Lexa says, wanting them to realize the weight of their decision. “It’s not the same as getting a pet, obviously. You two have only been living together for three months, which is quite fresh to know if it’s really going to work out,” she explains. “My condition is that you both take care of a child for a week, who will be living here and if that goes well, then by all means you two can have a child.”

“You want to test us by letting a child live here for a week?” Anya asks, knitting her eyebrows together at Lexa’s odd condition. “How are we supposed to have a child who would live here for a week?”

“You could always ask Clarke if you can watch Aden for a while,” Lexa suggests.

“This is ridiculous, Lexa.”

“You want to talk about ridiculous?” Lexa scoffs. “What’s ridiculous is how many parents split up or abandon their child. Some people think a kid is like getting a shiny new toy until they realize the kid grows up and gets older.”

“Lexa-”

“Save it, Anya.”

“Hold up,” Raven says, cutting in. She doesn’t want to hear Anya and Lexa fight with each other. “How about I call Clarke and ask if we can watch Aden for one weekend? Okay?”

“Fine,” Lexa grumbles. “I’ll be in my room.” She moves her chair back, making it screech and walks off without sparing them another glance.

“That went well,” Raven says sarcastically as she takes a seat.

“I think she’ll come around eventually,” Anya assumes. She knows that Lexa was getting personal with her explanation and how important it is for her cousin that children are treated well. “Her past has been rough.”

“Would you mind getting started on the pancakes? I’ll call Clarke in the meantime.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“His toys are in this backpack,” Clarke says hesitantly as she puts Aden’s backpack down. It was strange when she received Raven’s phone call and listened to her odd request.

“He’ll be in good hands,” Raven promises. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, Clarke.”

“Don’t lose him outside,” Clarke warns. “Like you lost him at the park before.”

“Words from someone who knows,” Lexa jabs as she turns around the corner and walks into the room. She had already heard Clarke from the moment she stepped inside.

“Lessa!” Aden shouts happily upon seeing and hearing her.

Lexa crouches down and embraces Aden’s hug. “Hey, Aden,” she says softly.

“Lexa,” Clarke says, acknowledging Lexa’s presence while wondering why the brunette is being cold towards her. She hands Raven Aden’s stuffed dinosaur. “He likes to sleep with this.”

Lexa is happy to see that Aden likes his stuffed dinosaur, which she gave him for his birthday. “I’m going to hang out with my friends today,” she announces, to let Raven and Anya know she’s not staying. She’s well aware that if she sticks around today, Aden will simply cling to her while they are supposed to look after him, so the best way to assure that is if she’s not around. “I’ll be back home tonight,” she assures Anya.

“Lessa,” Aden pouts while Lexa heads for the door.

Lexa turns around and gives Aden another hug. “I’ll be back later,” she promises. “Raven and Anya will play with you today,” she says while pointing at Raven and Anya. “Bye, Aden.”

“Bye, Lessa.”

Lexa smiles and heads out the door, not saying another word. She’s only a few steps away when she hears someone following her. “What do you want?” she hisses as she turns around and stares directly at Clarke.

“I’m confused,” Clarke admits. “You’ve been cold and I don’t understand why.”

“Must be the weather,” Lexa replies dryly. “It’s winter after all.”

“You know that’s not what I meant, Lexa,” Clarke says, taking a step closer.

“It’s nothing,” Lexa says, shrugging. She feels stupid for how much it hit her when Clarke was kissing with Wells at the lame Christmas dance. “Everything is fine.”

“You can tell me if it’s not,” Clarke whispers. “It’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to hide from me.”

Lexa takes a step closer, leaving mere inches between them. She cups Clarke’s cheeks and stares into her blue eyes. “Do you want me to move away?” she asks, whispering softly.

No, Clarke thinks, but she knows she can’t say no. She wants to say yes and tell Lexa to move away from her, tell her this isn’t right, but she can’t. Instead of saying something, she says nothing and feels frozen.

Lexa leans in dangerously close, the cold air Clarke breathes out bounces against her lips and yet she seldom felt anything warmer than this. Two more inches and they would be kissing, so close and yet she has never felt further away from her.

Clarke’s heart aches when she takes a step back, because she wants to do the right thing, wants to be the responsible adult. “Enjoy your holidays, Lexa,” she whispers.

“Clarke,” Lexa breathes out, halting Clarke from leaving by grasping her wrist.

“Yes, Lexa?”

“Mistletoes are overrated.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't chase me with torches for cutting it off there. :)
> 
> Playing with tension is fun.


	22. Invitation

“Lexa,” Clarke gasps when Lexa tugs her closer, pressing their bodies flush against each other. “You’re my student,” she whispers, hoping the brunette will understand.

“Are you going to spend the holidays with someone?”

“With my son,” Clare replies. She’s standing too close to Lexa for her own good, much too close. Close enough to see the tiny specks of yellow in the brunette’s green eyes.

“Perhaps you’d like to have dinner at my place on New Year’s Eve,” Lexa offers. She can see Clarke about to comment, perhaps again to say how she’s her student. “It’s not a date,” she adds. “Anya and Raven will be there too and of course Aden is welcome as well.”

“I’ll think about it,” Clarke says thoughtfully, not wanting to say yes yet. She’ll have to talk about it with Raven and Anya first, to hear what they have to say. “You should discuss it with Raven and Anya,” she suggests, hinting that she needs their invitation and not just Lexa’s.

“I will,” Lexa says, hearing what Clarke means. “I’m sure they won’t mind at all, but I’ll ask.” She wonders how she’ll convince Raven and Anya to invite Clarke, while making them believe it would be their idea and not hers, because she doesn’t want them to question why she’d invite a teacher.

“Okay, I’ll wait to hear what they have to say.”

Lexa kisses Clarke’s rosy cheek and lets her lips linger there for a few seconds. “It would be lovely to have you around,” she whispers.

Clarke places the palm of her hand against Lexa’s cheek and feels her leaning into her touch. “I have to go,” she says with a sad tone. It’s hard to fight herself, to not lean in for a kiss.

“It’s still early,” Lexa points out. “We could grab a cup of coffee together,” she suggests. “It’ll warm us up.”

“Perhaps another time,” Clarke whispers, rejecting Lexa’s suggestion. “I do have to go now.”

Lexa sighs and nods, missing Clarke’s touch the second it’s gone. She doesn’t move until the blonde is out her sight.

 

 **Commander:** Want to hang out?

 **Grounder:** I’d love to, but I can’t. Family stuff, blah.

 **Arctic:** You can stop by my place. Roan made eggs with bacon.

 **Commander:** Cool, I’ll stop by.

 **Em:** I’m hanging out with my boyfriend, so I’ll have to pass.

 **Tris:** I got a family thing.

 **Commander:** That’s fine, around the holidays it isn’t always easy.

 **Lol:** Ri, I’ll be at your place this afternoon if that works for you?

 **Arctic:** Sure thing, Lol.

 **Commander:** I’ll be there in ten. We should all meet up someone though, I got gifts for y’all.

 **Arctic:** Ten? You can easily do it in five.

 **Commander:** I’m walking. The road is icy I’m not risking that shit.

 

Lexa tucks her phone into her pocket, blows in her hands and rubs them together. She loves the sight of winter, to see the snow decorating everything and she likes to watch the Christmas lights as well. The music is overplayed, because it is always the same damn tunes and the cold isn’t that great either. She picks up her pace to get to Ontari’s place faster.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke takes a deep breath as she knocks on the big wooden door. It has been a long time since she walked through this street. The trees in the gardens look smaller than she remembers and yet everything else appears bigger. She barely recognizes the other houses, because her memory is vague and some people must have repainted their windows or even rebuild a bit. It was a hesitant decision to come here, but now that Aden is with Anya and Raven, she figured she could stop by.

“Clarke,” Abby says, surprised to see Clarke when she opens the door. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I know, mother,” Clarke replies, trying to be calm. She hasn’t seen her mother since she got pregnant in college, because they had a huge argument about whether she should have kept Aden. Her mother believed keeping him was the wrong decision and she didn’t agree. Each day when she looks at her son, she knows in her heart that keeping him has been the right decision, even if it meant being cast out by her mother.

“Come in,” Abby says with a weak smile, stepping to the side. “I didn’t expect to see you. You haven’t visited in a long time.”

“You haven’t visited me either,” Clarke retorts. “I have sent you a few letters.”

“I received them,” Abby says while she pulls out a box. “I kept them all in here, including the pictures you sent me.”

“Aden turned two recently,” Clarke explains, even though she already mentioned that in a letter. “I invited you for his birthday, but you didn’t come.”

“I couldn’t make it,” Abby says, excusing herself. “I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” She disappears in her kitchen for a moment and returns a few minutes later with coffee.

Clarke hears noises sounding from upstairs. “You have guests?” she asks, directly wondering why she wasn’t even invited.

“That is my husband,” Abby explains. “And his children.”

Clarke’s jaw drops. “You got married?” she asks, surprised. “You never told me.” She didn’t even know her mother met someone, so all of this is a chock and she can’t believe she didn’t get a single letter.

“You shouldn’t have come here,” Abby says, changing her mind. “Perhaps it is time for you to go.”

“Do they even know I exist?” Clarke asks, wondering. “Do they know you have a daughter and a grandson?”

“Now is not the time for this, Clarke.”

“You’re right,” Clarke says coldly. “I shouldn’t have come, this was a mistake.” She barges out of the door, not bothering to look back and from now on she won’t bother with letters and pictures either. It’s clear that her mother hasn’t changed in all those years, which is unfortunate.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s good to see you, Lex,” Ontari says, giving Lexa a fist bump before she enters. “It must be fucking freezing outside, get your ass in here.”

“It’s good to see you too, Ri,” Lexa replies, chuckling lightly. She hurries to get inside and shakes the cold off. The smell of eggs and bacon fills up her nostrils, causing her to lick her lips.

“Hello, Lexa,” Roan says when he sees Lexa. He wraps his arms around her, holding her in his typical bear hug.

“Hello, Roan,” Lexa says with a smile while hugging Roan back. He’s so strong that she’s being lifted off of the floor. “You can put me down now though.”

“Stop being gross, Roan,” Ontari groans. “He did the same with Lola,” she tells Lexa, still annoyed by that.

“Lola is a nice girl,” Roan says. “I like her.”

Ontari rolls her eyes and grabs a plate for Lexa, scooping some eggs and bacon onto it. She doesn’t really mind Roan that much since he’s always sweet, but she won’t tell him that. As his sister, she’ll pretend to dislike him, even though it’s not working because she knows that her brother knows better.

“That one car dealer has some motorcycles,” Lexa says, knowing she already talked about it with Ontari before. “Second hand of course, but decent.”

“I’ve been saving up some,” Ontari says. She’s been keeping money aside in a jar to contribute for Octavia’s birthday gift, even though that’s still quite a few months away. “Lol, Tris and Em want to chip in as well.”

“I was thinking we could buy one soon and work on fixing it,” Lexa says, sharing her idea. “We could even spray it in a new color and add some stickers or something.”

“I like the way you’re thinking. O is going to be surprised once she gets it, she’ll never see it coming.”

“You can hide it in my garage,” Roan offers, wanting to help out.

“That would be great,” Lexa says.

“You’ll be turning eighteen next month,” Ontari notes. “You must be looking forward to it.”

“I’ll throw a party for sure, the bigger the better.”

“Maybe Raven will make chocolate cake for your birthday.”

Lexa laughs and pushes Ontari lightly. “You just want chocolate cake,” she says accusingly, knowing her friend well.

“Say what you want but her chocolate cake is fucking delicious.”

“She does seem to know how to cook,” Lexa admits. “Raven and Anya want a child,” she says, sighing.

“Whoa what?” Ontari replies, shocked. “Didn’t Raven move in three months ago?”

“Yeah, exactly. I think they’re rushing it. Everything is going so fast and they never seem to slow down.”

“Kids are a huge step in a relationship,” Ontari says, shaking her head. “Sounds like your cousin is dating the wrong teacher, eh?” she teases, referring to Miss Griffin who has a son.

Lexa has to stop herself from gritting her teeth together, because she wouldn’t want Anya to date Clarke and it’s not funny to her. “Yeah, it’s a huge step,” she agrees.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Lessa!”

Lexa chuckles quietly when Aden runs up to her in his batman pajamas. She lifts him up and holds him above her head. “Hello, Aden,” she says. “I missed you too.” She hushes herself when Anya and Raven appear.

“Each time he heard something he called your name,” Anya explains, amused. She can see how much Aden likes Lexa and it isn’t the first time she notices that. In fact, someone would have to be blind and deaf not to notice.

“I’m sorry I missed dinner,” Lexa says quickly, before Anya can bring it up. “I ate dinner at Ontari’s place.” She had a good time eating the dinner Roan cooked and sitting at the table with Ontari, Lola and Roan.

“It’s okay,” Anya assures Lexa. “I already assumed you were staying with your friends for dinner.” She’s not mad about it and she’s not planning to fuss about it either.

“There are some leftovers in the fridge though,” Raven says thoughtfully. “In case you’d want some.”

“I should go put Aden in bed,” Anya says, noticing how late it is getting. She can tell Aden has been getting sleepy since the moment he was yawning when they were building a tower together. Taking care of him so far has only made Raven and here even surer that they do want to have a child together. “Come here, sweetie,” she whispers while holding her hands out for Aden.

“No, it’s okay,” Lexa says, not allowing Anya to take Aden out of her hands. “I got him.”

“Oh okay,” Anya replies, letting it go and dropping her hands to her sides.

Aden’s eyes are drooping while Lexa softly rocks him back and forth.

“I think Miss Griffin is going to spend the holidays alone,” Lexa mentions casually.

“Maybe we should invite her,” Raven says to Anya and then looks at Lexa. Clarke is her friend and she would enjoy having her around to celebrate, but of course that’s not only her decision to make.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Anya agrees. “Lexa?”

“It’s whatever,” Lexa replies with a shrug. “You can invite her, I don’t mind.” She leaves the room with Aden, a secret smile on her face because her little plan worked. Now Clarke will be invited by Raven and Anya as well, so there’s no way she could say no or at least she hopes not.

“Stoly,” Aden mumbles sleepily when Lexa puts him down. “Lessa, stoly,” he repeats, tugging at her sleeve.

Lexa tucks Aden in and puts his stuffed dinosaur next to him. “Okay, little buddy,” she whispers. “I’ll tell you a bedtime story.” She lies down next to Aden for a moment, stroking his hair while she tells him a bedtime story.

Aden yawns lightly throughout the story until his eyes fully close. His head is on Lexa’s chest and he has one of his tiny hands clutched onto her hoodie.

Lexa gently kisses the top of Aden’s head and doesn’t want to stir, to avoid waking him up. When she met Aden, she had no idea how much she was going to adore him. About four months ago, she had no idea she would like a child this much, but Aden makes it so easy. She can see why Clarke adores him so much.

During the night Aden wakes up and whines a bit. He tugs at Lexa’s sleeve, who is sleeping. When she doesn’t respond, he taps her cheeks with his hands.

“Mhm,” Lexa sleepily mumbles without opening her eyes.

“Lessa,” Aden whines, this time climbing on top of her. “Lessa, wake.”

Lexa slowly opens her eyes. “Hey, little buddy,” she whispers. “You should be sleeping.” She sits up and tries to tickle Aden when he pouts, but it doesn’t seem to work. “What’s wrong?”

“Milk.”

“You want a drink?” Lexa asks quietly. “Milk?” she smiles when Aden nods. She climbs out of bed and lifts him up. “Okay, we’ll go get some milk, but we have to silent,” she says, holding a finger to her lips. “Shh.”

“Shh,” Aden whispers, holding his finger in front of his lips.

Lexa walks into the kitchen with Aden and is surprised to find Anya sitting at the table. “Hey, you’re still up,” she whispers, wondering why her cousin isn’t sleeping.

“I see you’re up as well,” Anya whispers. “Aden should be sleeping.”

“He wants some milk,” Lexa explains while she puts him down so she can pour him some milk.

“Wait, I’ll get his sippy cup,” Anya whispers, halting Lexa for a moment. “It’s in his bag.”

Aden is smiling once he gets his milk in his sippy cup.

Lexa can’t help but smile at the tiny slurping noises Aden makes. “He’s such a cutiepie,” she whispers, not hiding her affection towards him.

“Today went well. Aden has been an angel.”

“You’re still set on having a child with Raven?”

“Yes, I am,” Anya confirms. “We both want a child, to start our own family.”

“I think you’ll be an amazing mother,” Lexa whispers earnestly.

“It means a lot to me to hear you say that.”

Lexa pours herself a cup of milk and holds a second one ready. “Do you want some?” she asks Anya, ready to pour.

“Half will be good,” Anya replies. “Raven called Clarke while you were putting Aden to sleep, earlier tonight,” she explains, deciding to tell Lexa sooner rather than later. “She will be spending New Year’s Eve with us.”

“Okay, that’s good to know,” Lexa whispers indifferently. She’s happy to know Clarke accepted the invitation, which means she’ll have her around in a few days.

“Lessa,” Aden whispers while pushing his sippy cup to the side. He yawns and reaches out for her.

Anya would have offered to take Aden to bed this time, but since he’s asking for Lexa and her cousin doesn’t seem to mind, she doesn’t offer it. “Goodnight,” she whispers.

“Goodnight,” Lexa whispers as she picks Aden up to bring him back to bed. “I’ll see you in the morning. You should get some sleep.”

“I will soon,” Anya promises. She needed a moment to clear her head and relax, before going to bed.

Lexa opens the door of her bedroom and carefully puts Aden down in her bed. She smiles, knowing he’ll be spending New Year’s Eve at her place, along with Clarke, which makes it likely they’ll be spending the night since it will get late. She has a positive feeling Aden will like the gift she has for him and she hopes Clarke will like hers as well, but she’ll have to wait and see what that gives.

Aden sleepily rubs his eyes while Lexa tucks him in. “Stoly,” he whispers.

“Again?” Lexa asks with a smile, shaking her head. “I already told you a bedtime story earlier, little buddy.”

Aden pulls hit bottom lip between his teeth in a pout. “Please, Lessa,” he whispers, pleading.

“Don’t give me that look,” Lexa whispers softly, trying to resist Aden’s pleading. “Okay fine,” she relents. “I’ll tell you a bedtime story, but then you need to sleep or else the tickle monster will visit you,” she warns, tickling him to prove her point.

“Nooo, Lessa,” Aden giggles.

Lexa tickles Aden a little while longer and moves him around like an airplane.

Raven smiles nearby the door, looking at the way Lexa is handling Aden. She kisses Anya’s hand when she leans on her shoulder.

Anya whispers something quietly in Raven’s ear, receiving a nod in return. Together they walk away towards their own bedroom, leaving Lexa to it without spying any further.

Lexa cradles Aden in her arms and whispers a bedtime story in his ear until he falls asleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, baby,” Clarke says enthusiastically when she sees Aden. Even though it was only for two days, she missed him terribly. “I’m so happy to see you again.”

“Mommy,” Aden coos. He smiles when Clarke kisses his cheeks.

“How did he behave?” Clarke asks Anya and Raven, although she’s more curious how they handled him and how it went for them because she knows Aden is a sweetheart. “Did he eat well?”

“He’s been good,” Raven answers. “He enjoyed my spaghetti a lot, as always.”

Clarke is glad to hear that. “Did he fuss when he had to sleep?”

“He woke up once because he wanted milk,” Anya explains. “Lexa put him to bed and stayed with him throughout the night.”

“Aden does like milk,” Clarke says, smiling. “Especially when he struggles to sleep,” she adds, knowing how much it helps her son to sleep well.

“It’ll be nice to have Aden and you both here for New Year’s Eve,” Raven says, happy that they can have some visitors. She talked with Anya about how Lexa should invite some of her friends, to ensure she wouldn’t be stuck with just them. Not that they would be bad company, but she can imagine Lexa not much enjoying the idea of being around two teachers and none of her friends.

“I appreciate the invitation a lot,” Clarke says thankfully, not mentioning Lexa had already invited her before. When Raven called her last night to invite her, she couldn’t bring herself to say no, since clearly she’s wanted for the holidays. She believes it could be more pleasant for Aden this way than it would be if she would spend it alone with him at home. “Can I bring anything? Some champagne perhaps?”

“That’s not necessary,” Anya says, dismissing Clarke’s offer. “We’ll have everything here. All you need to bring is Aden and yourself.”

“Okay then,” Clarke relents, still thinking to bring at least something. “I will bring gifts though.”

“Now that you’re allowed,” Raven says with a smile. “You can put them under the tree with all the other gifts.”

“I’ll see you in a few days,” Clarke says. “Say bye, Aden,” she whispers in Aden’s ear.

“Bye,” Aden says while he waves at Raven and Anya. When Lexa walks in his face lights up. “Bye, Lessa.”

“Bye, Aden,” Lexa replies sweetly. She waves back at him for a moment, causing Aden to smile.

Anya slings her arm over Lexa’s shoulder the second Clarke and Aden are gone. “I could get used to calling you Lessa,” she says teasingly, finding it adorable how Aden calls her cousin that.

“Anya,” Lexa groans, pushing her away. “Don’t even think about it.” She has never looked more forward to New Year’s Eve than she does this year.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Year's Eve is coming up next. 
> 
> It's a slow-burn so, not yet. :)


	23. New Year's Eve part 1

“Are you sure you don’t want to invite any friends?” Anya asks, surprised that Lexa hasn’t invited anyone for herself.

“I’m sure,” Lexa confirms while thinking to herself that she was the first to invite Clarke and Aden, but her cousin doesn’t know that of course. “Octavia is with her family, so they wouldn’t let her go,” she says earnestly, knowing how strict Octavia’s family is. “And Ontari is with Roan. She’d come if I ask, but then her brother would be all alone.”

“Roan is welcome here,” Anya says, frowning slightly. “You could invite Ontari and Roan if you want.”

“The more the merrier,” Raven chimes in. Truly she just wants Lexa to have some company to make it a little less awkward for her.

Lexa can see that it would be suspicious if she doesn’t even try to invite anyone. It’s not that she wouldn’t want her friends around. It’s just that she wants to spend as much time with Clarke as possible although she’ll have to be casual about it. “Okay, I’ll text Ontari,” she finally replies.

“I’m going to set the table ready,” Anya says. “Okay so far there’s the three of us, Clarke and Aden,” she counts. “Five and well, possibly seven if Ontari and Roan will be here as well.”

“I’ll help you to set everything ready,” Lexa offers as she puts her phone away. She barely takes a step before her phone buzzes with a response from Ontari. “Yeah, they’ll be coming over.”

“Table for seven it is,” Anya says with a smile. She looks at her table in the living room, which is actually build for six, but it won’t be an issue since Aden is little and won’t take up much space at all. “Darling, did you go to the store to buy a sippy cup and such?”

Lexa chuckles lightly. “I assume you’re not talking to me,” she says amusedly.

“Clarke insisted she’d bring all of that herself,” Raven says. “She didn’t want us to go buy any of those things when she has it all at home, babe.”

“I’ll go grab six champagne glasses,” Lexa says, walking towards the kitchen.

“Six?” Anya asks, knowing Lexa and Ontari shouldn’t be drinking, although she knows they often do anyway. “Okay fine, but only tonight,” she gives in when her cousin gives her an annoyed look. For tonight she can overlook the fact that they’re seventeen or well, almost eighteen, as long as they don’t get drunk of course.

“I’ll make the appetizers,” Raven says, glancing at the clock. “Almost three,” she notes. “Clarke should be here in an hour.”

“Ontari and Roan will be here in half an hour,” Lexa says, rereading Ontari’s text. “Yup, half an hour.”

“Careful with the champagne glasses,” Anya warns when she hears Lexa clinking them together. She grabs the reindeer napkins she bought and folds them into swans. “Pretty right?” she asks with a smile on her face.

“Um yeah,” Lexa replies indifferently. She has seen Anya doing that a lot and after a while it isn’t that impressive anymore. “Pretty,” she mumbles.

“Nice work, babe,” Raven says approvingly. “I like napkin swans.”

“Don’t you ever get tired of folding napkins?” Lexa asks curiously, aware that Anya does that a lot for her work. “You’re not going to be all etiquette on us are you?”

“I’m not that bad,” Anya replies, shaking her head at Lexa’s questions. At her work she is very strict, but at home she is quite laidback. “I won’t say anything if anyone would hold their fork in their right hand instead of their left,” she says, giving an example.

“I’ll put some music on,” Raven says as she opens a CD. “The new Christmas jingles are on this. I bought it on sales, it was very cheap.” She puts the CD in the CD-player and smiles when the first song begins to play.

“Maybe it was cheap because nobody actually wants to buy it,” Lexa comments. “It sounds like something you should throw in the garbage.”

“Lexa,” Anya warns with a glare.

“I’m just saying,” Lexa replies, holding her hands up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“This garlic bread is good,” Roan says, complimenting Raven. “You made all of these appetizers yourself?” he asks surprised, pointing at all of them.

“I sure did,” Raven says with a big smile. “Help yourself to as much as you want.”

The doorbell rings, causing them all to look up for a moment.

“I’ll go get it,” Lexa says, sighing, even though she doesn’t mind. She knows it’ll be Clarke and Aden, since they’re the last ones to arrive.

“Hello, Lexa,” Clarke says when she sees Lexa opening the door.

“Hello,” Lexa replies with a friendly smile. She looks at Aden who is dressed warmly with a scarf and everything. “Hello, Aden,” she says while trying to look at him. “You really buried him with his scarf.”

Clarke laughs lightly. “I didn’t want him to get sick, so yes,” she replies, explaining.

“Lessa!” Aden shouts happily, sounding a bit muffled.

Lexa can’t see his mouth because of the scarf, but she bets he’s smiling. “I’ll take him,” she says, seeing Clarke is carrying a few other things with her. “Come in, it’s warmer inside.”

Clarke doesn’t need to be told twice and hurries inside, feeling the heat color her cheeks.

Lexa puts Aden down on the kitchen counter and frees him from his scarf, gloves, toque and jacket. “That’s better,” she whispers. “Now I can see you.”

Clarke takes her own jacket, scarf, gloves and toque off and rubs her hands together to warm up a bit more.

Lexa knows everyone else is in the living room, so she reaches out for Clarke’s hands.

“Lexa what- ah,” Clarke was going to ask what Lexa is doing, but when she feels the warmth of the brunette’s hands, she already found her answer. “Your hands feel nice.”

“Better?” Lexa asks, staring deeply into Clarke’s eyes.

“Much better,” Clarke whispers, welcoming the warmth. She won’t object to something innocent like this, even if it would seem a bit unusual. At school she probably would have pulled her hands away because it would be slightly inappropriate, but here they have privacy so she can allow it. “Thank you, Lexa.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Lexa whispers. When Clarke’s hands feel warm enough, she moves her hands up to cup the blonde’s cheeks. “Your cheeks are getting their natural rosy color back.”

Clarke puts her hands on top of Lexa’s and softly moves them away from her cheeks. “I’m okay now,” she whispers.

Lexa coops Aden off the counter and walks with him to the living room. She sits down with Aden on her lap, vaguely listening to everyone else greeting Clarke.

“You can sit here,” Roan offers Clarke, moving a pillow away that was next to him on the couch.

“Thank you,” Clarke replies friendly while she sits down. “I’m Clarke,” she says, introducing herself to him.

“I’m Roan,” Roan says, shaking Clarke’s hand. “Ontari’s older brother.”

“You forgot annoying,” Ontari says, smirking because she likes to tease Roan.

“Champagne?” Anya asks, offering everyone aside from Aden a glass. “Lexa picked it out,” she says, wondering if she should sound as proud as she does.

“I know my drinks,” Lexa says confidently. She holds her glass out to the others. “Cheers.”

“Cheers, Lex,” Ontari says, clinking her glass against Lexa’s.

Lexa tries to hold Aden on her lap while sipping from her glass. When she notices that’s not working out well, she carefully puts him down so he can play. She hears Clarke and Roan talking, seemingly getting along. It doesn’t surprise her since it is easy to get along with Ontari’s brother.

“O’s mother would go nuts if she’d know the gift we have for her is driver’s lessons,” Ontari whispers to Lexa. She can already imagine Octavia hiding it from her mother, to avoid having that woman freaking out.

“I bet O will hide it,” Lexa whispers, knowing Octavia well. She has a positive feeling her friend will like that gift, since it will make her licensed to drive a motorcycle and she’ll give her a note that will grant her five rides on her motorcycle. “She’s going to pass easily, she can already drive.”

“Time for some gifts,” Anya says, standing up from the couch.

“So soon?” Ontari asks, frowning. She can’t believe they’d unwrap the gifts so early when they still have hours to go before the new year begins along with the real party.

“Aden isn’t staying up as late as we will,” Anya explains. “If we handle the gifts now, then we can get that out of the way.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Lexa agrees, aware that Aden won’t stay up long.

“We’ll eat something around six,” Raven says. She knows Aden goes to bed around eight, because Clarke told her so.

Lexa puts her champagne glass down and grabs the gift she has for Aden. “We should let him have his gifts first,” she suggests. “Here you go, Aden,” she whispers sweetly, putting the gift down in front of him. “This is for you.”

Aden stares with wide eyes at the big gift in front of him. He mumbles while he unwraps it with Lexa’s help. “Mommy, look!” he coos when he sees the plastic tractor.

“Aww that’s nice, baby,” Clarke says, smiling to see Aden so happy. “Say thank you.”

“Thank you,” Aden says to Lexa. He hugs her by wrapping his arms around her leg.

“You’re welcome, Aden,” Lexa says. She sits down to let the others give a present to Aden until everyone is done giving him his presents.

Ontari nudges Lexa and hands her a gift.

Lexa accepts it and hands Ontari the gift she has for her. “Awesome a new skateboard,” she says after opening it. “It looks cool. Thanks, Ri.”

“Oh sh-shakes,” Ontari says, quickly correcting herself before she can curse. “This is the helmet I’ve wanted for ages. How’d you know?”

“You were practically drooling while looking at it,” Lexa retorts, chuckling lightly. “I could tell you wanted it the first time you stared it at for ten minutes.”

“You’re the best, Lex.”

Lexa gifts Roan a few ties, Anya some movies she wanted and Raven cooking gear. Lastly she hands Clarke her gift.

“Thank you, Lexa,” Clarke says politely when she looks at the briefcase. The lock was broken on hers and Lexa must have noticed, so this is an attentive gift.

Lexa leans closer to whispers something in Clarke’s ear while everyone else is distracted with gifts. “Later you should look inside the briefcase, but not now,” she instructs. She left a second gift in the briefcase, which the blonde can look at when she’s alone.

Clarke nods and tries to ignore Lexa’s hand on her knee. She swallows thickly relieved to see nobody is paying attention to them right now. For a few second, she places her hand on top of the brunette’s.

Lexa grabs a blanket and casually tosses it over Clarke and herself, reaching out for her hand. She smiles when she feels the blonde accepting her hand, lightly caressing the back of her hand with her thumb. A moment like this is small, but rare and she’ll enjoy every split second of it.

Ontari grins when she notices Lexa moved to sit next to Miss Griffin, but she decides not to say anything. One day she’ll tell her friend that she knows and that Octavia knows too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Dinner is served,” Raven says with a proud smile while she points at the table behind them all. “Help yourselves to anything you like.”

Lexa takes her seat next to Ontari, while Roan sits next to Clarke, Anya sits at one end of the table and Raven at the other end of the table. Aden is seated next to Clarke with his own food.

“Everything looks and smells delicious,” Clarke compliments Raven. She can smell the sweet potatoes and the roasted chicken. The various color pallets of vegetables are a pleasant sight on the table.

Raven smiles happily, pleased to see everyone diving into the food she created. She wanted to make sure there would be enough variety so they can all choose what they like.

“Potatoes?” Roan asks Clarke, ready to scoop some on her plate.

“Yes, please,” Clarke replies politely. She returns Roan’s warm smile and holds her hand up to stop him when a third of her plate is filled with sweet potatoes.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Lexa how well Clarke and Roan are getting along. At first she thought he was simply being friendly, as always, but now she’s suspicious and it doesn’t help that Roan is single and around Clarke’s age. She tries to keep telling herself she had a moment with the blonde a while ago, secretly holding hands and that surely must have meant something, especially since it lasted for nearly an hour.

Clarke moves up a little when she feels a foot moving up and down her leg. “I’m fine,” she whispers to Roan when he asks her if everything is alright. “I was readjusting,” she lies. She grabs her champagne glass and takes a generous sip, gulping it down.

Lexa has her elbow on the table, leaning her chin in the palm of her hand with her face turned to the side, casually talking with Ontari. Every few seconds she glances at Clarke while she continues to move her foot up and down her leg. Knowing that she’s touching Clarke eases her mind and reduces her jealousy.

After a while Clarke decides it has been enough and uses her left foot to try and push Lexa’s foot away. She should have stopped the brunette from the very first second and she realizes she shouldn’t have held Lexa’s hand earlier, even though it felt special. All of this is wrong because the brunette is a student and not just any student, her student.

Lexa empties her glass and fills herself another, also refilling Ontari’s glass while she’s at it. She purposely ignores Anya’s warning look, aware that her cousin doesn’t want her to go overboard in any way, but this is hardly overboard because she can handle a lot more drinks before getting drunk.

“Aden looks tired,” Raven points out when she notices Aden yawning in between bites of his mashed potatoes.

“Aww he does,” Clarke says, noticing it as well. “Sleepy time for you, baby,” she whispers while she gets up and picks Aden up.

“The guestroom is down the hall,” Anya says kindly, pointing with her finger.

“Goodnight, Aden,” everyone says in unison.

“Say goodnight, Aden,” Clarke whispers in his ear.

“Nite, Lessa,” Aden mumbles sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

“I love that kid,” Ontari comments, laughing. She’s amused that Aden only said goodnight to Lexa and not to everyone else. “He really likes you, Lex.”

Aden wriggles in Clarke’s arms. “Lessa,” he whines. “Stoly.”

“Shhh, baby,” Clarke whispers, rocking him softly in an attempt to soothe him. “I’ll tell you a bedtime story,” she says, because that’s what she always does when she puts Aden to bed.

Lexa gets up from the table and nearly smiles when Aden’s eyes twinkle with childlike hope. “I don’t mind,” she whispers softly. “I’ll be right back,” she says to the others, ignoring the way Ontari frowns at her and Anya’s endless smile.

“You don’t have to do this,” Clarke whispers when Lexa opens the door of the guestroom so she can enter with Aden.

“We could tell him a bedtime story together,” Lexa suggests.

Clarke gently puts Aden down on the bed and tucks him in. She sits near the edge on one side and follows Lexa with her eyes as she sits down on the other edge.

“Do you want to be the dinosaur in the story or the duck?” Lexa asks Clarke with a smile. “You seem quite good at being a duck pretending to be a dinosaur,” she teases, referring to the day when the blonde sat on her bed, holding a duck and yet roaring as if it was a dinosaur. It’s one of those moments money can’t buy, priceless and beautiful, to cherish.

“I believe Aden is the duck,” Clarke whispers, right before launching a tickle attack on Aden. “Rawr,” she roars. “The dinosaurs will eat you.”

Lexa chuckles due to Clarke’s words and action. “You’re such a dork,” she whispers, followed by roaring and tickling Aden.

Aden giggles and tries to push their hands away to no avail.

“Two against one doesn’t seem fair,” Clarke points out when she stops tickling Aden, a smile still on her face. “What are you whispering?” she asks when she sees Lexa whispering something in her son’s ear.

Lexa grins mischievously, pulls Clarke down onto the bed and tickles her along with Aden. When the blonde shrieks in response, she falls into a fit of laughter.

“Time to sleep now,” Clarke says as she finally stops Aden from tickling her. She tucks him in again and kisses his forehead. “Goodnight, my angel,” she whispers sweetly.

“Goodnight, Aden,” Lexa whispers, kissing Aden’s forehead as well. “Sweet dreams.”

Clarke flips the light switch off and lingers at the door, watching the gentle rise and fall of Aden’s chest as he sleeps.

Lexa is standing behind Clarke and wraps her arms lightly around her waist, kissing her neck.

Clarke sighs and turns around, staring deeply into Lexa’s green eyes. Her heart stops temporarily when the brunette pushes her against the frame of the door. “Lexa,” she whispers with a trembling lip, because she is scared of what might happen and even more scared of what she wants to happen.

Lexa slowly leans in and kisses Clarke’s cheek, near the corner of her lips and she knows, oh she knows, that this is closer than the last time.

Clarke closes the door and slides down against the wall as Lexa walks away, aware that she’s already in too deep, way deeper than she should be.

 


	24. New Year's Eve part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's part 2. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

 

“Time to watch a movie,” Anya says while proudly showing her collection of movies. She already selected a few that are suitable for the holidays, so everyone can decide which one to watch out of those few. “After the movie we could eat dessert,” she suggests.

“I’ll go get a bowl of popcorn,” Raven says, getting up. “You can all pick a movie, anything is fine for me.” All that she cares about is spending time with people she loves and it doesn’t matter which movie they’ll be watching.

Lexa sits down next to Ontari when she sees Clarke is sitting in between Roan and Anya, which is unfortunate because she had hoped to sit next to her again and it makes her wonder if the blonde chose that spot on purpose.

“Do you have any good movies?” Ontari asks Anya while eyeing her collection of movies. Personally she prefers scary movies or something with action. Comedy can be okayish at times, but if it is some kind of romance shit or a movie for kids then she’ll spit on it. Romance is mostly gross because it’s all cheesy to her.

“All my movies are good movies,” Anya replies with a smile.

“Don’t believe a word she says,” Lexa says to Ontari, disagreeing with Anya. “She still watches movies for kids.”

“Hey,” Anya says, hearing what Lexa is saying about her. “You used to like kids movies a lot, especially movies such as Garfield,” she points out, remembering those days all too well.

“Um yeah, when I was a kid,” Lexa retorts. She smiles when Tiger nestles himself into her lap, giving her a chance to pet him for a while.

“I like Disney movies a lot,” Clarke says, unable to recall how many times she saw each of the classics.

“Okay let’s see,” Anya says while she spreads a few movies out on the table in front of them. “We should agree on a genre first and then choose from there,” she suggests, imagining not everyone is going to want the same genre.

“Comedy,” Lexa says, sharing her preference for tonight. If Clarke was sitting close to her she would have chosen horror, but since that’s not the case she’ll go with something innocent.

“Fuck it,” Ontari mutters. “I’ll pick comedy too then.”

“Comedy sounds good for me,” Clarke agrees, relieved they’re not going for a darker movie. She values her sleep too much to watch horror movies.

“Do I even have to ask still?” Anya asks with a smile while she looks at Roan who is smiling too. “Comedy then?”

“Comedy is fine,” Roan says. He would have been okay with whatever the others would choose, since he isn’t picky about which movie to watch. Every genre has their own appeal and for tonight he is happy that he is invited here, so he didn’t have to spend this holiday at home.

“Did y’all pick a movie yet?” Raven asks as she walks in with a big bowl of popcorn. “I’m just going to put this right here,” she says while putting the bowl down on the middle of the table.

Lexa nuzzles her head against Ontari’s shoulder as the movie begins to play. She’s glad the lights are out, so she can secretly watch Clarke rather than the movie, who is being too cozy with Roan for her liking, much to her chagrin.

Clarke laughs at something that happens in the movie and reaches out to grab some popcorn, while keeping her eyes trained on the movie. When she feels a hand against hers, she peels her eyes away from the screen to look. Not that it is unusual for that to happen since they’re all sharing a bowl of popcorn, but what makes it unusual is the fact that the other hand isn’t moving away.

Lexa shifts her eyes from the bowl to Clarke and back to the bowl where their hands are touching, or well, their pinkies are touching. The one moment she was actually watching the movie to catch a funny moment and reached out for some popcorn happened to be the time the blonde did the same.

“Oh sorry, ladies,” Roan says when he reaches out for popcorn and bumps against two hands. When both hands pull away he grabs a handful of popcorn.

“I probably should have put out more than one bowl,” Raven says, sharing her thoughts aloud. Bumping hands is clumsy and can be a bit frustrating.

“I’ll go get a second one,” Anya says. “I’ve seen this movie many times, you can all keep watching,” she adds when she sees Raven reaching for the remote.

Clarke’s thoughts wander off to the briefcase she got from Lexa and how she’s been told there is another gift inside of it. She wants to know what it is, but she knows she has to wait to be alone, as she has been instructed.

Lexa reaches out for the bottle of champagne and notices it’s as good as empty. “We need more champagne,” she whispers. She pushes herself up to go get more bottles from the kitchen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You really went all out,” Clarke whistles, impressed as she looks at all the desserts on the table. “Chocolate cake, strawberry pie, ice cream, chocolate mousse, tiramisu,…,” she lists while her mouth waters.

“I wasn’t entirely sure what everyone likes,” Raven explains, although that mostly just applies to Roan and Ontari and not as much to the others. “There’s plenty to choose from, so get yourselves as much as you like.”

“You’re an amazing cook,” Anya whispers, pulling Raven close to her and kissing her cheek.

Raven is about to be playful and tell Anya she has another dessert for her later tonight, but she changes her mind, realizing how she probably shouldn’t do that with Ontari and Lexa around.

Ontari grabs a plate and helps herself to a piece of everything that has chocolate in it. “See this Roan?” she comments, nudging her brother. “This is how dessert is made,” she says, pointing out his awful dessert making skills.

“Meat is my specialty,” Roan says, aware he’s not the greatest at making desserts. He’s not much of a sweet tooth, although he can occasionally enjoy a dessert.

“And eggs,” Lexa adds in, knowing Roan’s eggs with bacon are the best.

“And eggs,” Roan confirms with a smile. “What do you recommend, chef?” he asks Raven.

“Anything with chocolate in it,” Raven answers, thinking it over. “Yup, definitely the chocolate desserts.”

“Raven ain’t so bad,” Ontari whispers to Lexa. “I got to hand it to her that she’s got some taste.”

“Because she likes chocolate?” Lexa asks, whispering disbelievingly.

“And women,” Ontari adds, letting Lexa know it’s not only chocolate. “Plus she’s kind of hot.”

“Ew, Ri,” Lexa whispers, scrunching her nose up in disgust. Truth be told she would agree that Raven looks hot, but she’d rather not and besides, the Latina can’t hold a candle to Clarke. “Shut up and dream about Lola.”

“I kind of wish she’d be here,” Ontari admits sadly, missing her girlfriend. “Being hooked is a weird feeling.”

“Hmm yes, it is,” Lexa agrees, knowing exactly what it feels like to be hooked on someone. “I must say I’m still a bit surprised you’re actually dating a junior.”

“Oh come on, you’re making her sound as if she’s much younger with this whole junior thing,” Ontari quietly groans. “She’s one year younger, that’s it and besides, next year she’ll be a senior like we are now.”

Lexa knows it’s going to suck for Ontari when they go to college next year because Lola won’t be joying them until a year later. She also realizes that going to college means Clarke won’t be her teacher anymore and she might not see her much at all, which sucks. For now she doesn’t want to think about that much yet, since she’s not going to college yet and there are six months of school left. It’s funny how when this school year began, she hated it and wanted it to be over and right now she wishes it would last longer.

“One hour left to go,” Anya announces while putting more champagne on the table. “Then we can finally count down.”

“If we could all not be too loud when we count down I would appreciate it,” Clarke says, not wanting Aden to wake up by their noise.

“Of course,” Raven says, understanding Clarke’s concern about Aden. “We’ll keep it quiet.”

Lexa licks her lips while eating chocolate mousse, casually winking at Clarke when she catches her staring. She slows down, so the blonde can enjoy every second of looking at her while she eats.

Clarke drops her spoon when Lexa curls her tongue around her spoon. “I’m being clumsy,” she says with a small smile, bending down to pick up the spoon.

Lexa chokes lightly on her dessert when she gets a good view of Clarke’s cleavage, causing her to have a coughing fit while Ontari pats her back roughly to help her out.

Raven takes the spoon from Clarke. “I’ll get you a new one,” she says.

“Lexa, are you okay?” Anya asks worriedly, noticing how red Lexa’s face is while her cousin sounds as if she’s coughing her lungs out.

“I was eating too fast,” Lexa replies, using the first excuse she can think off.

Clarke tries her best not to laugh, thinking how Lexa got exactly what she deserved for being such a tease.

“Here you go,” Raven says while handing Clarke a clean spoon.

“Thank you, Raven,” Clarke says gratefully, accepting the spoon.

Lexa is relieved when her coughing fit is finally over and she’ll be sure to get Clarke back for that at some point, because she can tell by the smile on the blonde’s face that she enjoyed this a bit too much. There is no way this game is over yet, although it is slowly turning in much more than just a game.

“On your places, people,” Anya announces happily. “One more minute.” She takes Raven’s hand in hers and watches a show on TV counting down the seconds.

Ontari grumbles when they all start to hold hands.

“Almost,” Raven says as if she’s about to combust. “Okay, okay, this is it.”

Lexa watches the sparkle in Clarke’s eyes as the blonde gets ready to count down. That along with Clarke smile is beautiful to see and she needs more of moments like this. She can imagine how confused Ontari must be about the way she has been behaving tonight, which has been different than usual and it is surprising she hasn’t been called out on it yet.

“Ten!”

“Nine!”

“Eight!”

“Seven!”

“Six!”

“Five!”

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Happy New Year!!!!”

“Shhh,” Clarke whispers, holding a finger to her lips. “Aden is sleeping.”

For once Lexa doesn’t mind it when they get to wishing each other a happy and healthy New Year while kissing each other’s cheek. Normally she wants to get that over fast, but now that Clarke is included she doesn’t mind at all.

“For fucks sakes,” Ontari grumbles when Lexa hugs her tightly and kisses her cheek.

Lexa saves Clarke for last, because well you know, it is better to save the best for last. “Happy New Year, Clarke,” she whispers while hugging the blonde. “I wish you a good health and happiness.”

Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa and taps her back to signal the brunette to let go. “Happy New Year, Lexa,” she whispers.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Admit that you’re into me,” Lexa whispers, wanting to hear the truth she already knows from Clarke. She caresses her thumb lightly over the blonde’s cheek and gazes into her blue eyes, looking for an answer. “Clarke,” she whispers again. “Admit it.”

Clarke takes a deep breath and regretfully pushes Lexa’s hand away. “No,” she whispers.

“No you won’t admit it?” Lexa asks, testing what Clarke means by saying no.

“I meant no, I’m not into you,” Clarke lies, feeling a pang of pain as her words are spoken.

Lexa feels her resolution crumbling upon hearing Clarke’s words and she doesn’t want to believe her own earns, doesn’t want to accept this as true. “You’re not into me?” she asks softly while keeping herself composed.

Clarke tries to read Lexa, tries to read her expression, but she can’t. All she sees is those green eyes, colder than she has ever seen them and in this moment the brunette looks intimidating. She wants to know what Lexa feels, but instead she is being shut out by a stoic look. “I’m not into you,” she confirms, lying again. It hurts to lie, but she has to stop this and the only way she feels that would work is if she convinces the brunette that she’s not into her at all. If she pretends she doesn’t feel for Lexa, then they can let distance grow between them, for both their sakes.

“What about those little moments we had?” Lexa asks, prodding on and digging deeper. “Didn’t you feel anything then?”

“No,” Clarke responds, continuing her lie now that she started it. “I should have stopped this a lot sooner, but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes students have a crush on their teacher, it can happen,” she whispers softly.

“I thought we shared chemistry,” Lexa whispers, because deep down she knows this couldn’t have only been coming from her side.

“You’re my student,” Clarke whispers, but quickly realizes that might sound like her easy excuse again and might make Lexa doubt if she’s telling the truth. “You’re young and naïve, you still have a lot to learn.”

“Young and naïve?” Lexa asks, keeping her well-trained stoic look so she won’t appear as weak. She hates it if someone sees her break and there is no way she wants to let Clarke see how this is breaking her. “I see,” she whispers, slowly moving her eyelids and clasping her hands behind her back. “I bid you goodnight, Miss Griffin,” she says coldly.

Clarke feels her heart breaking as Lexa turns away from her and she wants to reach out to her, wants to pull her close and tell her that she didn’t tell her the truth, tell her that she was lying because she isn’t strong enough for this. “Lexa, wait,” she whispers, quietly cursing herself.

Lexa turns around to look at Clarke and is surprised when she’s being pushed against the wall, but she doesn’t show her surprise.

“I can’t let anything happen,” Clarke whispers, trying to explain and make Lexa understand.

“That won’t be an issue,” Lexa whispers while ducking underneath Clarke’s arm that kept her against the wall. “Nothing will happen between us.” Her feelings are hurt and right now being close to the blonde is already too much.

“I didn’t mean it,” Clarke whispers, letting her tears flow because she regrets how she hurt Lexa with her words. “I’m sorry, Lexa.”

Lexa frowns when Clarke walks towards the living room. “You’re not going to sleep on the couch, are you?”

“I don’t want to risk waking Aden up,” Clarke explains softly. She doesn’t mind sleeping on the couch for one night.

Lexa grasps Clarke’s arm and pulls her along. “Sleep with me,” she whispers, continuing to guide the blonde towards her room. “In my room,” she clarifies quickly to avoid misunderstandings.

Clarke’s feelings are all over the place, barely believing how kind Lexa is being towards her, especially after the horrible things she said. She slips silently in the brunette’s bed and stares as Lexa lies down next to her.

Lexa holds her arms open as a silent offer and is relieved when Clarke places herself into her arms. She strokes the blonde’s hair while hearing her weep softly and she wonders what’s on Clarke’s mind. “I got you,” she whispers.

Clarke appreciates Lexa’s gentle touch and her whispered words, which help to bring her mind at ease and right now just for a little while, it feels as if nothing can hurt her anymore because with the brunette she feels safe. Even though Lexa is only holding her, she knows she shouldn’t allow this, but she can’t find it in her to let go when all she wants to do is hold on tighter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't forgotten about the briefcase. What's in it will be revealed eventually. Patience. :)


	25. Friends

“When Aden was here for two days…” Clarke whispers, trailing off and breaking the silence. She can feel Lexa gently caressing her cheek in the dark and she moves a bit to lie down next to the brunette so they can face each other. “I went to visit my mother,” she whispers, sharing something personal.

Even in the darkness of the night, Lexa can see Clarke’s eyes clear enough. “How did that go?” she asks quietly, encouraging the blonde to go on.

“Not well,” Clarke whispers, almost laughing at how pathetic it went. “When I was pregnant during college, she wasn’t happy about it. I had been drinking a lot and couldn’t remember much,” she explains, deciding to share a bit of her backstory with Lexa. “My mother wanted me to get an abortion, but I refused. We got into a big argument and after that we lost touch.”

“It wasn’t her decision to make,” Lexa whispers calmly.

“I kept sending her letters and photographs as time went on,” Clarke explains further. “Not that I ever expected to hear anything back from her, but I silently hoped I would,” she admits sadly, remembering all the times when she was disappointed to not get a response from her mother. “While Aden was here I took it as my chance to visit her, unannounced.”

Lexa feels for Clarke, for the pain she has been going through and how absent her mother has been. She knows what it feels like to be cast out by a parent, to be pushed aside. “Your mother was wrong to let you down like that,” she whispers, unable to fathom why someone would act that way towards Clarke and sweet little Aden. “What happened when you visited her?”

“She let me in so that was something or at least I thought it was,” Clarke says, knowing that her hopes got crushed all too fast. “I heard noises in her house, so I asked her if she had any guests and I wondered why she hadn’t invited me.”

Lexa has a flashback on how her mother got a boyfriend and she has a bad feeling Clarke will tell her something similar. “Did she have guests?” she asks curiously, thinking how rude that woman must be for not inviting her own daughter, her own flesh and blood.

Clarke sadly shakes her head and reaches out for Lexa’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “She told me that was her husband and his children,” she answers, still upset about it. “I never knew she even met someone.”

Lexa feels an intense amount of disgust towards Clarke’s mother. “Your mother is missing out on two amazing, beautiful, smart, incredible people,” she whispers earnestly, speaking from the bottom of her heart. “One day she’ll regret that she didn’t give you and Aden the time of day.”

“That’s really sweet of you to say, Lexa,” Clarke whispers with tears in her eyes. “I wish that for once she would write back or visit.”

“Your mother doesn’t deserve you. She doesn’t deserve your time. You and Aden both deserve so much better.”

Clarke is at a vulnerable point when Lexa wipes her tears away and she can’t remember the last time someone was there for her like this, in such an emotional intimate way. Even if her mother seems to deny her existence, she still has Aden.

Lexa gently pulls Clarke closer so she can hug her for a moment. She feels that sometimes they’re not so different at all, because they share a few similar parallels.

“I do think you’re young,” Clarke whispers, seemingly out of the blue as she thinks back about earlier and the things she said to Lexa. “You are young, but you’re not naïve,” she clarifies, still regretting that she lied to push the brunette away since that was the wrong approach. Her words hurt Lexa and she shouldn’t have done that.

“It’s okay now,” Lexa whispers as she rolls onto her back. “The past is over.”

Clarke slowly turns around, facing the other side so she can sleep.

Lexa stares at Clarke’s back, aching to reach out, to touch her, but she decides that now is not the time and that maybe she’ll have to let the blonde come to her rather than chasing her. It’s only a matter of time before Clarke stops fighting what she feels and stops denying their attraction. It’s unusual for her to have a woman in her bed that she isn’t making out with when it isn’t one of her friends.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke slowly opens her eyes when she feels movement under the blanket. She lifts it up to see what is going on and is surprised when Aden is smiling at her. “How did you get in here?” she whispers.

“He woke up,” Lexa replies. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she apologizes when Clarke jumps up, who probably assumed she was still asleep. “I heard him calling out for you, so I went to get him and brought him here.”

“Are Anya and Raven awake?” Clarke asks, a bit worried because she doesn’t want to get caught walking out of Lexa’s bedroom, which would look wrong. “What time is it?”

“Relax,” Lexa whispers, trying to reassure Clarke. “It’s barely eight in the morning,” she explains. “They’re still sleeping. My guess is that Aden woke up early because he went to bed a lot sooner than the rest of us did.”

Clarke is relieved that it’s early, aware they all went to bed late. She recalls Ontari and Roan had left around two at night and everyone else went to bed an hour later. “I’m going to get up,” she announces, wanting to get out of Lexa’s room as soon as possible.

“Sneaking out?” Lexa asks teasingly. “In the worst case you could climb out of my window,” she offers, continuing to tease Clarke.

Clarke sighs and shakes her head, getting out of Lexa’s bed.

Lexa gets up as well and lifts Aden up. “You must be hungry,” she whispers to him. “Do you want milk?”

“Yes,” Aden replies.

“I’ll show you the bathroom,” Lexa says to Clarke. “You can take a shower if you want and I’ll arrange his breakfast,” she offers.

“Okay, I won’t take long,” Clarke promises, not wanting to leave Aden alone too long. She knows Lexa will be with him, but she wants to see what her son will have for breakfast.

Lexa hums as she enters the kitchen with Aden. She carefully puts him down so she can make his breakfast. While Aden pets Tiger, she cuts a banana and an apple in small pieces. She smiles when he coos, seeing how he’s on the floor on his back with Tiger on top of him. “Tiger is very cuddly,” she tells Aden. “Don’t squeeze him too hard though,” she kindly warns when she sees him hugging her cat.

“Lessa, food,” Aden whines, growing hungrier.

“Up you go,” Lexa whispers while lifting Aden up. She places him down on the countertop and stays close to him. “Yummy fruit,” she whispers, licking her lips as she hands Aden to bowl with the chopped up fruit.

“That shower was exactly what I needed,” Clarke says relieved as she enters the kitchen, with a towel wrapped around her wet hair.

Lexa grasps Aden’s arm before turning around, to ensure he wouldn’t fall down. “There is a hairdryer in the bathroom,” she says, to hint that Clarke can dry her hair.

“I don’t want to wake Anya and Raven up,” Clarke replies. She did notice the hair dryer, but it would be too noisy and not respectful. “Aden shouldn’t be on the counter like that.”

Lexa puts Aden down on the floor. “Now he’s not,” she states dryly, wondering why Clarke called that out because she had a hold on him.

“Lessa,” Aden pouts, tugging at her pants. “Lessa, up,” he pleads while stretching his arms out.

“Would you like some breakfast?” Lexa asks Clarke, eyeing her warily. “I could make you some toast or eggs,” she offers as she opens cupboards. “There’s cereal if you’d rather have that.”

“Toast would be fine,” Clarke says politely as she picks Aden up. “Did you get some sleep?” she asks, knowing that Lexa must have been up before she was.

“Some,” Lexa says, still a bit tired, but she doesn’t care. “The guestroom is empty now, if you still want to rest some more.”

“No that’s okay,” Clarke replies, dismissing Lexa’s suggestion. “I’ll be going home once Anya and Raven are awake,” she announces, to give the brunette a head’s up that she’s not staying much longer. It seems respectful to wait until everyone is awake before leaving.

“Oh okay,” Lexa says, slightly disappointed to know Clarke won’t stay much longer. Of course she knew beforehand that the blonde’s stay wouldn’t last long, but it’s still tough to hear it.

“Thank you for listening last night,” Clarke says gratefully, softly squeezing Lexa’s shoulder. “You’re a good friend.”

Clarke’s last sentence hits Lexa like a ton of bricks. She can’t believe that she’s being seen as a friend, because she thought that they would finally start to go somewhere, like begin to date or something. “So are you,” she says with a forced smile, but at the same time she tells herself she won’t leave it at this. While the blonde disappears in the bathroom again, this time to get Aden dressed, she makes herself a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, Lexa,” Anya whispers sleepily, yawning as she takes a seat. “Mhm, coffee,” she hums, welcoming the smell.

“Good morning,” Lexa mumbles, keeping her eyes on her cup of coffee. Clarke’s words keep playing through her mind on repeat and suddenly last night feels like forever ago.

“Lexa,” Anya whispers, frowning and reaching out for Lexa’s hand across the table. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Lexa looks down at Anya’s hand that’s placed on top of hers. “I’m just tired, that’s all,” she lies as she looks up, smiling weakly.

Anya doesn’t quite believe Lexa’s response, since this isn’t the first time she notices something being off. “I’m going to make some coffee,” she says softly. “Would you like some more?”

“Mhm,” Lexa hums.

Raven slumps into the kitchen, wearing a big shirt and a robe that’s hanging open. “Good morning,” she says with a chipper tone.

“Good morning,” Lexa replies while sizing Raven up. She looks away when the Latina catches her staring and quickly closes her robe. Quietly she waits for Raven to comment, to call her out, but it doesn’t happen.

Raven wraps her arms around Anya’s waist from behind. “Can I get a cup of coffee, babe?” she asks sweetly, brushing her girlfriend’s hair to the side so she can kiss her neck. She realizes she should have put her pants on before getting up, but to be fair she didn’t think anyone would be awake yet, especially not Lexa.

“Sure,” Anya smiles, grabbing a second cup. She turns around, cups Raven’s cheeks and kisses her.

Lexa rolls her eyes as she hears Anya and Raven kissing behind her, but on the bright side they’re not kissing in front of her.

“Good morning,” Clarke says happily when she walks back into the kitchen with Aden fully dressed this time.

“Good morning,” Raven and Anya reply in unison.

“I’ll be going home now,” Clarke says regretfully. “I really appreciate it that Aden and I were invited. The food was amazing.”

“It was a pleasure to have you here,” Anya says earnestly. “You’re welcome to stop by again sometime.”

Lexa is silent while Clarke says her goodbyes to Anya and Raven. She doesn’t perk up until Aden demands a hug from her and seeing him pull his bottom lip between his teeth, she can’t say no. “Bye, Aden,” she whispers in his ear.

“Bye, Lessa.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s good to see you, O,” Lexa says while she embraces Octavia’s hug. “Finally allowed to go outside?” she mocks.

“I told my mother I really needed to chill with my friends,” Octavia says, slightly frustrated by how difficult her mother was being because she doesn’t approve of her friends. “Brought y’all presents.”

“Are you two going to keep standing outside in the cold or what?” Ontari asks with an annoyed tone. “It’s fucking freezing, get in here.” She grabs their collars and pulls them inside. “Lola is here too, just so you know.”

Lexa is surprised when she doesn’t see Roan, who usually hugs her. “Where is your brother?” she asks curiously.

Ontari awkwardly scratches the back of her neck. “He uh….” she mumbles uncomfortably because she doesn’t know if Lexa just likes Miss Griffin or if she’s actually totally into her for real. “He’s out to lunch with Miss Griffin,” she explains, deciding to be honest because that’s what they do.

Lexa clenches her jaw, angered and hurt because Clarke said they’re friends and now she’s out with Roan.

“Your birthday is coming up soon,” Octavia says quickly, sharing a concerned look with Ontari. “Do you look forward to it, Lex?”

“Kind of,” Lexa says, barely interested. “It sucks that I’ll have to suffer through a few days of school first though,” she scoffs, aware that tomorrow they’ll be going to school again.

“Ugh yeah, our holiday vacation went by fast,” Ontari agrees.

“Ready for your present, O?” Lexa asks, concentrating on her friends.

“I sure am,” Octavia replies enthusiastically. “I hope you’re both ready for yours too.” She smiles and notices Lola in the room. “I got a present for you too, Lol,” she assures the girl.

“Here you go, O,” Lexa says, handing Octavia an envelope.

Octavia curiously opens it, wondering if they got her tickets or something. “No way,” she says, gasping. “Lessons to learn how to drive a motorcycle?”

“Yeah,” Ontari confirms. “You’ll be a licensed driver after that.”

“And once you’re licensed you can borrow our motorcycles five times,” Lexa adds, not yet revealing the secret that Octavia will be getting a motorcycle for her birthday in a few months.

“Yas,” Octavia cheers, looking forward to it. “Okay, here are the presents for y’all,” she says, handing them their gifts. “Open up.”

“A friendship bracelet?” Lexa asks surprised while she observes it.

“Yup,” Octavia happily confirms. “I also have one for Tris and Em,” she reveals, sad that they’re not around today.

“This stuff is cheesy as fuck,” Ontari comments. “At least it’s not pink, fine I’ll wear it.”

“I think this is really sweet,” Lola says, admiring the friendship bracelet she’s been given.

“Is Echo dating anyone?” Lexa asks out of nowhere, wondering.

“Echo?” Ontari asks surprised. “Nah I don’t think she is,” she answers to the last of her knowledge.

“Why are you asking?” Octavia asks Lexa. “Echo is a player and a flirt. She switches girls faster than we switch our shirts.”

Ontari crosses her arms. “You can’t be serious, Lex,” she says, reading Lexa’s mind. “You want to date Echo?”

Lexa laughs and shakes her head. “I don’t want to date her,” she says with a strong tone, to ensure that she’s being serious and not kidding. Echo isn’t the type of girl she wants to be with and besides, there’s only one woman she’s after. “You got her number, right?” she asks Ontari.

“Yeah,” Ontari confirms. “You want it?”

“Okay wait a minute,” Octavia says, halting everyone. “If you don’t want to date Echo, then why on earth do you want her number?”

“I need a favor,” Lexa says dryly. “That’s all.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Lex,” Octavia warns. “I heard she even has a list with names on it that she goes through. Not to mention how fucking touchy she is,” she says with a hint of disgust. “I can’t imagine how you’d want her near you.”

“Rumor says you’re on her list, Lex,” Ontari says with a grin. “Echo has been waiting to check you off of her list.”

“Good then she won’t mind doing me a favor,” Lexa says calmly, not scared away by the warning her friends are giving her. “She’s exactly the kind of girl I need right now.” She smiles to herself, ready to test Clarke’s statement about being friends and she’s prepared to crumble that.

“I’ll send you her number now,” Ontari says while she grabs her phone. She pauses for a moment and looks at Lexa, wondering what kind of thoughts are swimming in her head. “If you need someone to play your girl for a while or something, O could do it.”

“What? Why me?” Octavia asks, but as soon as she does she thinks about Lola. “Oh right, yeah,” she says quickly. “Sure I’d do it.” She wouldn’t mind pretending to be with Lexa if that keeps her away from Echo.

“No,” Lexa says, denying that. “The whole school knows we’re friends.” She has to make sure it is believable and with Octavia that simply wouldn’t work, not even in the slightest. “Number?” she asks Ontari again, pressing her on it.

“Your next mistake coming right up,” Ontari teases with a grin on her face, although truly she’s worried about what the hell Lexa is up to.

Lexa wastes no time texting Echo the second she gets her number. It’s time to take this to the next level, because she’s tired of wasting time and having Clarke rejecting her over and over again. This school year has been messy so far. For starters Costia ditched her, followed by Luna ditching her and now Miss Griffin is playing some kind of hard to get game. If Clarke truly doesn’t want to be anything more than friends, she’ll find out soon enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry :)
> 
> It's a slow-burn.


	26. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Technically it is Friday for me now (sort of since it is after midnight) 
> 
> So this is the chapter for tomorrow, albeit a bit early.   
> Enjoy, maybe :)

“Thank you, Roan,” Clarke says while hugging him back. She appreciates the warm personality he has and he made her laugh a lot during lunch. “I had a great time.”

“So did I,” Roan agrees, smiling brightly. “If you want to hang out again, you can always give me a call.”

“Okay, I will,” Clarke promises, looking forward to hang out with Roan from time to time.

Roan ruffles Aden’s hair. “Bye, Aden,” she says kindly. “Bye, Clarke.”

“Bye, Roan,” Clarke replies. She holds Aden’s hand to wave as Roan walks away.

“Cookie,” Aden mumbles.

“Okay, but only one,” Clarke gives in. She closes the front door and puts Aden down.

“Mmm,” Aden hums while he eats the cookie.

Clarke smiles at Aden for a moment, until her eyes land on the briefcase she placed aside. She sighs deeply and cautiously opens it to see what is inside. Tomorrow when the holiday vacation is over, she can use this briefcase. She finds a small box in the briefcase and eyes it curiously. After taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves, she opens it to see what’s inside.

Aden looks up with wide eyes when Clarke gasps loudly and nearly drops the small box. When tears roll down her cheeks, he starts crying. “Mommy,” he cries, upset.

“Aw baby no,” Clarke hushes, rushing to Aden to soothe him. “Mommy is okay,” she promises. “I’m sorry I worried you, my angel,” she whispers, rocking him in her arms.

Aden’s sobbing gradually reduces to sniffling until he stops.

Clarke looks at the silver heart shaped medallion in the box and if she knew Lexa would give her this expensive gift, she would have told her this is way too much. What made her cry is what’s inside the medallion. On both sides is a picture of Aden, pictures Lexa must have taken herself because from the looks of it they’re made at the park. She loves how her son is smiling in the pictures. This is the best gift anyone has ever given her. She understands why Lexa wanted her to wait, because obviously the others would have had curious questions.

“Look, Aden,” Clarke whispers while she shows him the medallion. “Pictures of you,” she says while pointing at it. “Lexa must have taken these pictures.”

“Lessa?” Aden asks with wide eyes.

Clarke smiles because apparently Lexa is all Aden got from what she said. “Yes, baby,” she confirms. “Lexa.”

Aden gets up and runs around. “Lessa!” he shouts, looking around the corners. “Lessa? Lessaaaa.”

“Aww sweetie, Lexa isn’t here,” Clarke says softly, scooping Aden into her arms. “No Lexa today,” she explains. “Aw no, don’t pout like that.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Get ready to be grossed out,” Ontari whispers to Octavia. “Ugh there she comes.”

“Hey,” Echo says with a big smile. “Lexa,” she says while grabbing Lexa’s sweater and pulling her close. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Lexa squeezes her hand around Echo’s, tight enough to hurt her a bit to send a warning. “You know our deal,” she says, reminding Echo. “Stick to it.”

Echo nods and pulls her hand away the second Lexa lets go.

“Who is she trying to make jealous?” Lola asks Ontari, whispering so Lexa wouldn’t hear her. “Luna or Costia? Or both?”

Ontari wants to say neither, but then again, she can’t be sure. “Beats me,” she whispers, unsure. She knows that sometimes Lexa keeps stuff to herself until she finally speaks up about it, so she’ll wait until her friend does so. Lexa has always been the most secretive one out of them, while she on the other hand is blunt and Octavia sucks at keeping things to herself.

Lexa slings one arm around Echo’s shoulder and enters the school building with her. Once inside, she pushes Echo against her locker and kisses her, ignoring the gasps from the other students and she knows rumors will spread fast as she wants them to.

“You and Echo?” Luna asks surprised, stopping in her tracks. “Really?”

Lexa turns around and looks her ex dead in the eye. “Yes, Luna,” she says coldly. “Really.”

“Are you doing this to make me jealous?”

Lexa is surprised to hear Luna asking her that. “Honey,” she laughs, amused. “You’re not that important.”

“Oooh burn!” Ontari says loudly, high-fiving Octavia and Lola. She loves it when Lexa says it like it is, blunt and cold yet in her own way.

“We broke up two months ago,” Lexa says dryly to Luna. “I moved on long ago.” She doesn’t think about her exes because she really did move on and what they do doesn’t bother her.

“I can see that,” Luna says, clearing her throat. “The whole school can see that.”

Lexa finds it amusing to see Luna so jealous, but all of this isn’t for her. “What do you want Luna?” she asks, starting to get annoyed by Luna’s presence.

“I want us to be friends,” Luna says calmly. “All of us,” she clarifies. “I had a good time with you all at camp.”

“What do you know,” Ontari says sarcastically. “She finally realized Costia is boring as fuck.”

“I already have friends,” Lexa says dryly, dismissing Luna. “We’re not interested.” She knows her friends don’t care about having Luna around when she’s not dating any of them. Maybe someday she can think about it, but not now.

Reese is running through the hall and bumps into Lexa. “I’m sorry,” she says quickly, apologizing.

Lexa picks Reese’s backpack up that fell down. “Is anyone bothering you?” she asks while glancing behind the young girl, to check if she can spot anyone.

“I…,” Reese whispers nervously.

“You’re with us,” Lexa says loudly and she can clearly see the what-the-fuck look written all over Luna’s face. “We’ll save you a seat at lunch,” she whispers to Reese.

Ontari groans when the doorbell rings. She pulls Lola close and kisses her quickly before they have to separate ways to go to their classes. “I’ll see you at lunch,” she whispers.

Lexa walks Reese to her class. “You good?” she asks while glaring at the bullies to warn them.

Reese nods and smiles.

“See you at lunch,” Lexa says, winking at Reese. She grabs Echo’s hand and walks to her own class, ready to see Clarke again, since it’s been a few days.

“You’re really sweet to her,” Luna says admiringly. “I like that side of you, Lexa. Not many seniors would hang out with a freshman.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is sitting behind her desk, her briefcase next to it. The holidays have done her good and she sure had some fun. It was pleasant to hang out with Roan, in whom she found a friend, at least. She smiles as her students walk in after the bell rings, although some look anything but happy to be here.

Echo twirls Lexa’s hair between her fingers and playfully bites her neck right before entering the classroom. She doesn’t quite stop until Miss Griffin clears her throat, ruining the moment, much to her dismay.

Lexa lightly pecks Echo on her lips, not meeting Clarke’s eyes as she walks in and takes her seat. She smiles briefly at Echo who takes a seat next to her.

“Good morning, students,” Clarke says politely, greeting them all. “And happy New Year to you all.”

“Good morning, Miss Griffin,” the students reply. “Happy New Year.”

Clarke grabs her ruler and sits down on top of her desk instead of behind it. “Now students as you all know, many people have New Year’s resolutions,” she says, deciding to talk a bit first rather than diving directly into teaching. It is a Monday morning after the holidays after all, so she wants to start slowly. “When I point my ruler at you, you may share your resolutions, if you have any.”

Octavia leans her elbows on her desk when Miss Griffin points the ruler at her. “My resolutions,” she mumbles, thinking about it. “Mine are umm… improving my skills of sneaking out of the house without getting caught.” Her mother has been busting her a few times and it sucks, so she needs to step it up more.

“Settle down, students,” Clarke warns calmly when they cheer at Octavia’s words. She points her ruler at a few other students, hearing more sincere resolutions. After a while she points her ruler at Lexa, out of curiosity of what she’ll say.

“Mine is to make out more with girls,” Lexa says shamelessly. She fists Echo’s sweater and kisses her deeply, encouraged by the cheers of her fellow students. When she hears a loud snap, she pulls away and tries to locate the cause of the sound.

Clarke casually tosses the two pieces of her ruler behind her desk. “Fragile thing,” she says, smiling and trying to play it off cool, but deep down she feels embarrassed. Her ruler wasn’t the only thing that snapped when Lexa kissed Echo. “Keep it down, everyone,” she warns. “No more shenanigans.” She stares at the brunette, hoping she’ll behave now since she has no idea what has gotten into Lexa.

Ontari nudges Lexa with her elbow. “You should’ve given her a ruler instead of a briefcase,” she whispers, smirking.

Lexa laughs lightly and nods. She’s pleased that Clarke snapped her ruler, pleased that she got a reaction out of her, which is a good start.

Clarke wants to ask her students to talk about how their holidays went and how they spent it, but she’s worried about what Lexa might say once it is her turn, so she decides against it. Right now it doesn’t seem like a good idea to do anything of the sorts. “Since it has been two weeks since you all had school, we will have a small quiz,” she announces and she can hear her students groan in complaint. “This quiz does not count for any marks. It is simply to refresh your memories and see what you remember.” She grabs a piece of chalk. “Octavia,” she calls out.

Octavia sighs and walks to the front of the class, accepting the piece of chalk. She doesn’t like doing this stuff, especially not on a Monday morning. For fucks sakes, she sits in the back of the class for a reason, which is not to go to the front of the class.

Clarke suddenly realizes that Lexa is sitting in the back row and not the front more, where she had told her to sit when the school year begun. She wants to say something, but she wonders if it’s worth it. As long as the brunette pays attention it wouldn’t be an issue and so far Lexa didn’t cause any trouble, aside from riling the other students up a bit after sharing her resolution. “Change of plans,” she says to her students.

“Are you kidding me?” Octavia asks frustrated, but then she realizes she’s talking to her teacher. “I mean… um, should I go sit?”

Clarke holds her hand up to Octavia to let her know not to move. “I’ll tell you to draw something and the other students have to guess it,” she explains, hoping to have some fun to loosen them up. “You will all get a turn.”

“I suck at drawing,” Octavia mumbles.

“Will you draw something too, Miss Griffin?” Lexa calls out, asking out of curiosity.

“I don’t see why not,” Clarke says with a smile. She whispers something in Octavia’s ear to draw and tries to keep it simple. What she didn’t foresee with her idea was how other students start shouting random things all at once. “One at a time,” she warns.

“A flower,” Lexa calls out and she would have added it’s a bad one, but she won’t do that to Octavia.

“More like a rotting flower,” Ontari says bluntly, laughing as Octavia glares at her.

“Bitch,” Octavia whispers when she sits down again. She knows Ontari is often blunt and that’s a part of her friend people either love or hate.

“Lexa,” Clarke calls out. “You’re up next.”

Lexa kicks her chair back and slowly walks to the front of the class, snatching the chalk out of Clarke’s hand. She yawns when Miss Griffin whispers in her ear to draw a cat and she decides to draw whatever she wants.

Clarke leans against the side of her desk and follows the movements of Lexa’s hand. She frowns when she notices that what the brunette is drawing can’t possibly be a cat, but when she notices the passion Lexa is using to draw, she doesn’t say anything.

“You on your motorcycle!” Octavia and Ontari shout at once, guessing.

Clarke is bewildered by Lexa’s raw talent and she wonders if the girl has any interest in art or an interest in doing something with that.

“I miss my graffiti days,” Lexa mutters, thinking back about the walls she decorated, often along with Ontari. “You’re up,” she says when she hands Clarke the piece of chalk.

“You’re so badass, Lex,” Octavia whispers when Lexa sits down again. “There’s no way she made you draw that while I had to draw a flower.”

Lexa turns her attention to the board where Clarke is drawing something. When she sees that the blonde has a knack for details, she thinks about how good Clarke might be with graffiti, but since it’s illegal at most places she might never find out.

Clarke is so engrossed in what she’s doing that it doesn’t occur to her that there’s a dead silence where nobody is making any guesses, even though surely they would be able to tell what she’s drawing. When she’s done she puts the piece of chalk down and turns around, now noticing how her students are gawking at her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“We haven’t made any graffiti art in ages,” Ontari says as she puts her lunch down on their table. “Miss Griffin’s got some skills, she should toats put that shit on a wall.”

“What happened?” Lola curiously asks. “You make graffiti art?”

“Lex and I used to make graffiti art ages ago,” Ontari explains. “Illegal though, but we only got caught once, which sucked,” she grumbles at the memory, remembering how moody Roan had been that night.

“Miss Griffin made a drawing with chalk during class,” Octavia suffices to drown out Lola’s confusion. “Hey where are Tris and Em?” she asks when she notices they didn’t take a seat with them.

“They’re both sitting with Emori’s boyfriend,” Lola says, sighing. “I get it though that she wants to be near him,” she adds as she smiles at Ontari. “What did Miss Griffin draw by the way?”

“A dragon,” Lexa says, still thinking about how she wants to see that in graffiti. She looks down at her hand when Echo reaches out for it, which she allows, albeit with a slight annoyance.

“Hey,” Reese says nervously, standing near their table.

Lexa pats the empty seat next to her. “Saved you a seat,” she says with a friendly tone.

“Hey kid,” Ontari says. “You want some chocolate pudding?” she asks while sliding it across the table.

“Why are you all so friendly to me?” Reese asks, confused. “The whole school talks about all of you, saying how you’re all rebels and most people don’t even dare to breathe in your direction.”

“Only the cool kids can hang with us,” Lexa says, winking at Reese to assure her that she fits in with them.

“You think I’m cool?”

“Coolest freshman I know,” Lexa replies, although Reese is the only freshman she knows.

“You’re like the little sister we never had,” Octavia says.

“You only say that because you were the youngest of us,” Ontari states dryly.

“Pft please,” Octavia says, rolling her eyes. “I stopped being the youngest when Lol began to hang with us.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad I’m not the youngest,” Lola says, cutting in.

“When I turn eighteen, I’ll have a party at home,” Lexa announces, sharing the news with her friends. “Later we can hang out somewhere and you can crash at my place.” She knows the space she has is limited since there is only one guestroom and not much space left in her bedroom. She’ll make it work somehow though.

“Can I come too?” Reese asks.

“Sure, if your father gives you permission,” Lexa says, not wanting to outright exclude the girl. She assumes it’s unlikely for Reese to get permission since it will be an adult party with alcohol.

“Lol and I call dibs on the guestroom,” Ontari says, wanting a room she can share with her girlfriend.

“Then I guess I call dibs to sleep with you, Lex.”

“I’m flattered, O,” Lexa says light-heartedly. “But we’re just friends.”

“You bitch,” Octavia mumbles. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Fine by me,” Lexa says. “Ri and Lol get the guestroom and O will sleep with me.”

“Will there be any other girls at your party?” Echo asks. “I want to come.”

“I bet you do,” Ontari comments, smirking.

“I mean I want to come to Lexa’s party.”

“I’ll think about it,” Lexa says, although she knows she doesn’t want Echo at her birthday party. It’s not even a part of their deal, so she doesn’t necessarily have to invite her. She wants to have her party with her closest friends and most of all she’d like Clarke to be there, but that won’t happen. This time she doesn’t have any excuse to invite the blonde, because if she’d ask the answer would be no, considering how her friends will be there. Aside from that, Anya and Raven would find it very suspicious, so sadly she can’t have Clarke at her party, which is a bummer.

Ontari hopes Lexa won’t be inviting Echo, because she doesn’t like having that girl around. In her eyes Echo is nothing more than walking trouble and she’d just get touchy with every girl. “I’ll bring some booze to your party,” she says, not exactly offering.

“Is your cousin going to be there?” Octavia asks curiously. “And you know… Miss Reyes?”

“I’m not sure,” Lexa replies, shrugging. “I’ll ask them to leave for a while so we can party or I could try to have them go to a hotel or something.” She’ll have a word with Anya about it to see if they can make an arrangement, such as if they disappear during her party until the next morning, she could stay over at Ontari’s place for Raven’s birthday or whatever.

“You’re lucky you’re turning eighteen so soon,” Octavia says, slightly envying Lexa for that. “I still got to wait some months, much too long for my liking.”

“You just want to be eighteen right now so you can bang that ranger,” Ontari comments bluntly.

“Yeah true,” Octavia admits. “I’ll start with dating him of course.”

“I bet you’re counting down the days,” Lexa says with a smile, seeing the hopeful look on Octavia’s face.

“Yes, I am,” Octavia says, knowing she’s been counting down hard. “I can’t wait to be out of here and off to college.”

“Ugh, it fucking sucks,” Ontari grumbles as she pulls Lola onto her lap. “I kind of want to stay here. Maybe I should flunk,” she says thoughtfully, wanting to stay with her girlfriend.

“Don’t you dare,” Octavia says, warning. “Lex, you and I have a plan to go to college together,” she reminds Ontari. “We’ll be getting a dorm together and stuff.” It would suck if she’d have to go without one of her friends, although she knows Ontari is hooked to Lola and it does suck that Lola isn’t in their class.

Lexa says nothing, but she can relate to Ontari about wanting to stay at this school longer. She keeps her thoughts to herself, because she doesn’t want to explain how she’d rather stay here to see Clarke more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's birthday will be coming up in the next chapter. 
> 
> Aden is Lexa's secret wingman in his own adorable way.


	27. Lexa's birthday

“You did what!?” Raven asks shocked, shouting loudly in utter disbelief. She stares at Clarke, slowly processing what she’s been told.

Clarke sighs and puts her hands in her lap. “Can you use your inside voice please?” she asks nicely with a calm tone. She doesn’t need the whole school to hear her conversation with Raven.

“Sorry,” Raven mumbles, lowering her voice. “You hired a private investigator to find Aden’s father?”

“Yes, I did,” Clarke confirms, aware that this news is huge.

“After all this time?” Raven asks disbelievingly. “Why? I mean, why now?” She wonders why Clarke didn’t do that sooner, considering Aden is two years old by now. “Why not when Aden was born or when you were pregnant?”

“I never cared to know because I was fine with not knowing and taking care of Aden by myself, and I still am,” Clarke explains. “But I’ve been thinking,” she continues, lightly digging her nails in the fabric of her pants. “One day Aden is going to want to know who his other parent is and what kind of mother would I be if I can’t give him any answers when that day comes? For his sake I need to find out.”

“Wow… you’re really serious about this,” Raven says, hearing how much thought Clarke must have been putting into this. “This is big, Clarke.”

“I know, Raven,” Clarke replies softly. “I know.”

“What you’re saying makes sense,” Raven admits as she thinks about it. “Is this because Aden will be going to school in a few months?”

“That’s part of the reason, yes,” Clarke admits, since that’s one of the things that drove her to do this. She knows Aden will be seeing other children, with most of them, if not all, having two parents and it’ll only be a matter of time before her son will ask questions. “I’ve been selfish, keeping Aden all to myself.”

“Don’t say that,” Raven says, disagreeing.

“I didn’t even try to find Aden’s father while I was pregnant in college. It could be a really nice guy who might actually want to be a part of his life and if I don’t do this, then eventually Aden will,” Clarke says sadly. “I know I said before I’d make up some kind of story, but it wouldn’t be fair if I’d lie to my son.”

“Okay, if this is what you want to do then I’ll support you,” Raven says with a smile, squeezing Clarke’s hand reassuringly. “You don’t have to go through this alone. If you need anything, let me know.”

“Well, not to take advantage of your offer, but I could use a babysitter for Aden for a while,” Clarke explains, considering at some point she’ll be driving to her old college for more answers and she’ll have a few meetings with the private investigator she hired. “I want to keep him out of this, so I won’t take him with me during appointments and such.”

“No problem, I’ll watch Aden anytime,” Raven friendly offers. “I enjoy having him around and so does Anya. Not to mention how much he likes Lexa so he’ll be happy to be around her.” She thinks Lexa wouldn’t mind, considering the secret moments she observed were Lexa was being cute with Aden.

“One more thing,” Clarke says quickly, feeling her heart racing after Raven mentioned Lexa. “You can’t tell anyone, not even Anya. I don’t want anyone to know.”

“Okay, I won’t tell anyone,” Raven promises. She usually tells Anya everything, but this isn’t her secret to share, so she won’t.

“When Aden turned two it really made me think about his future,” Clarke says softly. When she visited her mother, she wasn’t exactly trying to get in touch with her for herself, but for Aden because she wanted him to have his grandmother. Technically she isn’t Aden’s only family, but she might as well be since her mother can’t care less and despite being young, she did have thoughts about what would happen to her son if something were to happen with her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa puts her backpack down when she walks in, slumping her shoulder against the wall. She sighs and then frowns when she can swear she hears Aden cooing, which makes her wonder if Clarke is visiting. After school she hung out at the park with her friends for an hour, so Anya might not have expected her home yet.

“Hey, I’m home,” Lexa calls out, wanting to draw some attention without calling out for Clarke.

“Lessa!!” Aden shouts happily. He runs into the kitchen and hugs Lexa’s leg.

Lexa smiles and lifts Aden up. “It’s good to see you too,” she whispers sweetly. “You get stronger each time,” she says with an impressed tone after he wraps his arms around her neck.

“He had been looking for you,” Raven says, smiling as she walks in with Anya behind her. She had to stop Aden from exploring Lexa’s bedroom, because he must have thought that she was hiding when he couldn’t find her.

“Is Clarke visiting?” Lexa asks, trying to sound casual. It doesn’t sound like an abnormal question since Aden is here, so there is nothing suspicious about why she would ask.

“No, she’s not,” Raven answers. “She asked us to watch Aden for a few hours.” She knows Clarke has an appointment with her private investigator to discuss a few things.

“She has a date,” Anya says, referring to what Clarke told her. “We have Aden to ourselves for a little while.” Generally she would ask Lexa if she is okay with things like this, but Clarke asked them on a short notice and there wasn’t time, plus she knew her cousin wasn’t home and she figured Lexa wouldn’t actually mind.

Lexa can’t believe that Clarke is actually going out on a date, because she thought it was a good sign when the blonde snapped her ruler while she kissed Echo. Apparently she’s been wrong and now Clarke is out on a date. She thought her plan would work perfectly, but it sounds like she’ll have to step it up a lot more and try harder.

“I’m going to start on making dinner,” Raven announces.

“What are you going to make?” Lexa asks curiously. She knows most of Raven’s creations taste good, but she has certain things she likes more than other things.

“Stew,” Raven replies.

“Mhm yummy,” Anya says, licking her lips.

“I’m going to watch a movie with Aden,” Lexa says as she walks up to the living room. She carefully sits Aden down on the couch and selects a movie.

Anya plops down on the couch next to Aden. “Which movie are you going to watch?” she asks while looking to see which one Lexa is selecting.

“Garfield,” Lexa says calmly and even without looking she knows Anya is smiling. “Not a word,” she warns, aware how much she loved that movie when she was younger. “I’m choosing this for Aden, he’ll like it.”

“Uhuh,” Anya replies disbelievingly. “Of course you are.”

Lexa sits down on Aden’s other side and pulls him onto her lap.

Aden coos with a twinkle in his eyes when he sees the cat in the movie. “Tigel!!” he shouts while pointing at the movie.

“No buddy,” Lexa says, disagreeing. “That’s not Tiger, that’s Garfield.”

“He’s smart,” Anya comments.

“He sure is,” Lexa agrees. “One day he’ll do amazing things.”

Anya hopes that once she has a child with Raven, Lexa will get along with them as much as she gets along with Aden. It would be ideal if that would happen and she sees a lot of potential in her cousin. Even though she never really voices it, it’s hard for her to know that Lexa isn’t really a child anymore, especially now that her cousin will be eighteen soon. She’ll struggle when Lexa will be off to college.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Don’t burn the house down, okay?” Anya says, slightly nervous to leave and let Lexa have the house all to herself for her birthday party. It’s not that she doesn’t trust her cousin, but she has no idea what Lexa will be up to with her friends.

“I’ll keep everything in check,” Lexa replies calmly. “You have nothing to worry about.” She’s not going to do anything crazy that would damage the house and there’s no way her friends would be so disrespectful to trash everything.

“If there is anything, we are only a text or a phone call away,” Raven says. “Enjoy your party, Lexa.”

“I know,” Lexa says, refraining from rolling her eyes. “I’m eighteen now and I’m definitely old enough to be on my own, I got this.” She wants them to leave, because she knows her friends will be arriving eventually and she already celebrated with Anya and Raven earlier today. “Have fun at the hotel.”

Anya gives Lexa another hug before leaving with Raven.

They’re not even gone one minute when the doorbell rings. Lexa sighs and moves to open the door, wondering if they forgot something, but instead she sees Reese and a man who must be the young girl’s father.

“Hi,” Reese says shyly. “I can’t come to your birthday, but I wanted to bring your gift.”

“Hello, Reese,” Lexa says with a friendly smile. “That’s sweet of you.” She accepts the gift Reese hands her. “Thank you.”

“Go wait in the car, Reese,” the man says. When Reese is in the car, he turns towards Lexa. “I appreciate that you have been so kind to my daughter, she told me a lot about you.”

Lexa feels awkward about being faced with Reese’s father. “It’s nothing really,” she says, dismissing it. “Reese is a sweet girl.”

“I can’t let her come to your party because she’s still young and I’m not comfortable to have her at a party with older people when she is a child.”

“That’s okay, I understand,” Lexa replies, not bothered by the fact Reese won’t be at her party. She had only invited the girl so she wouldn’t feel left out and she already assumed Reese wouldn’t get permission to come. She’s relieved when the man leaves, so she can go back inside and prepare.

In record time the kitchen table is filled with plastic cups, each containing either vodka or beer. When the doorbell rings again, she opens the door and smiles when she sees her friends.

“Come in,” Lexa says while she steps out the way so they can enter. “Drinks are on the table.”

“Happy birthday,” Octavia says, kissing Lexa’s cheeks. “I’ll put your present on the counter.”

“You’re finally eighteen,” Ontari says to Lexa. “Here, your gift,” she says, pushing it in her friend’s hands.

Lexa lets it all wash over her as her friends one by one wish her a happy birthday and give her a present.

“I brought absinthe,” Ontari reveals with a smirk on her face. She puts the bottle down on the counter like it’s a trophy. “I bet O will get drunk first.”

“No way,” Octavia disagrees. “I bet Tris will get drunk first.”

“Absinthe is hella strong,” Lexa says, eyeing the bottle. “How’d you get that bottle?”

“Black market,” Ontari answers dryly. “I know some college people who sell good stuff.”

“You sure have your connections,” Lexa says impressed. She opens the bottle of absinthe and pours herself a cup. “Cheers.”

Octavia picks up a cup of beer. “Cheers, Lex,” she says before taking a generous sip.

“Ready to play some games?” Lexa asks with a mischievous look on her face.

“What do you have in mind?” Ontari asks while she helps herself to a cup of absinthe.

“Strip poker,” Lexa says dryly. It’s one of her favorite games to play because she’s good at it and it’s a shame Clarke isn’t here, which would have been interesting. “If you’re all up for it, that is,” she adds thoughtfully, glancing at Lola, Trisha and Emori.

“I’m willing to give it a try,” Lola says. She smiles when she looks at Ontari, who she wouldn’t mind seeing losing the game. “It could be fun.”

“I never played before,” Trisha admits. “If you explain it a bit, then I guess it won’t be an issue for me to play.”

“It’s easy to learn,” Ontari says. “Lex, O and I have been playing it for a few years.” She has good memories of playing it with them and with college students.

“I’m in,” Emori says. “I haven’t played strip poker yet, but I do know how to play poker.”

“Let’s take this to the living room,” Lexa suggests, considering the kitchen table is full of drinks. She takes two big bowls of chips with her so they can have some during the game. “The first one to be left in her underwear loses,” she explains. “We keep going until a winner is left.”

“I’m not planning on losing this time,” Octavia mumbles, remembering how she lost the last time they played. This time she’d rather win, but she knows Lexa is really good at it and Ontari has a knack for it as well.

Lexa deals the cards after explaining the game thoroughly to make sure everyone understands how it’s played. She looks at her cards and uses her poker face while she looks at her friends.

Ontari smirks devilishly, as she often does while playing poker. “Full house,” she says proudly, putting her cards down to show them.

“Dammit,” Trisha says, throwing her cards down.

Lola sighs deeply. “Two pair,” she says defeated.

“Four of a kind,” Emori says with a grin, knowing she defeated Ontari.

“Nice try, bitches,” Octavia comments, smiling brightly. She puts her cards down. “Straight flush.” She puts her hands in her lap and looks at Lexa, who has yet to reveal her card. “Well?” she asks, growing impatient.

“Okay,” Lexa says while slowly putting her cards down. “Royal flush,” she cheers. She laughs when her friends mutter as they take off one piece of clothing.

Ontari deals the next hand of cards and works on using her stinky eye to intimidate the rest, but she grumbles when Lola and Octavia both laugh.

“I have a flush,” Lola bluffs, looking at how bad her cards are.

“Hmm,” Ontari says, licking her lips. She looks at her cards, noticing she has a straight, which is worse than a flush. “Pass,” she calls out, putting her cards down and skipping this round.

“I pass too,” Octavia mutters, putting her cards down.

“Pass,” Trisha says while slamming her cards down because she can’t top Lola’s flush.

“Ugh,” Emori groans, eyeing her three of a kind. “Pass.”

Lola smiles at Lexa, but deep down she feels nervous because of her bad cards. No matter what Lexa has, it’s probably more than what she has.

Lexa stares disappointed at her lousy cards. All she has is one pair, so she’ll lose. “Pass,” she says, putting her cards down.

Lola grins and reveals her awful cards.

“You played us!” Ontari says, shocked. She wraps her hand gently around Lola’s throat and pulls her closer, kissing her softly. “You got us.”

“Color me intrigued,” Lexa says with a small smile. She can’t believe she actually fell for Lola’s bluff, but she had no idea her friend was bluffing. Now she knows better and she won’t fall for this again so easily. She grasps the hem of her hoodie and lifts it over her head, tossing it onto the floor next to her.

Octavia teasingly whistles. “Sexy Lexy,” she comments, winking at Lexa.

“Don’t ever call me that again,” Lexa murmurs, disliking it when her friends do that. She knows it’s a compliment about her looks, but it’s weird and she doesn’t like being called Lexy.

Ontari, having already lost her sweater from the previous round, takes off her pants. “Are you enjoying yourself?” she whispers to Lola, who is not taking her eyes off of her.

“Now that you’re asking,” Lola muses. “Yes, I am.”

“The first to lose should empty that bottle of absinthe,” Octavia suggests.

“Fuck no,” Ontari disagrees. “The winner should get it.”

“Yes, Ri is right,” Lexa agrees. “I should get it,” she says confidently that she’ll be the one to win. “I’m going to turn the heat up a bit.”

“You already did that when you took your hoodie off,” Emori says bluntly, earning looks from the others.

“Aren’t you the straight one among us?” Ontari asks, surprised. Out of all of them, she didn’t think it would be Emori who would say stuff like that.

“Yeah, I’m straight,” Emori confirms. “Not blind.”

“Ri, you noob,” Octavia laughs.

Ontari grins, happy to learn more about how blunt Emori is, which makes her a good friend whom she’ll get along with fine. So far she hasn’t hung out much with Emori yet, because she’s mostly hanging out with Lexa, Octavia and Lola.

“You’re all going down,” Lexa says smugly. “That bottle of absinthe will be mine, along with all your clothes.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet y'all didn't see Clarke's revelation coming. 
> 
> In the next chapter there will be more about Lexa's birthday.


	28. Birthday surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this early. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

“This room is bigger than I thought it would be,” Raven says, impressed while she looks around.

Their hotel room has a bathroom that has a tub big enough to fit two people comfortably, with a lot of marble and golden accents. The bed is king-sized with red satin sheets and an army of pillows on top of it. The double windows lead to a small balcony with a round table and two chairs.

“It’s not bad,” Anya says as she sits down on the bed to test it. “It seems okay.”

“Not bad?” Raven asks disbelievingly. “Seems okay? It’s great. We should try out the bathtub,” she suggests with a seductive look in her eyes.

“If you insist,” Anya replies teasingly. She smiles when Raven pushes her down on the bed and climbs on top of her. “I’m lucky to have you,” she whispers, feeling like she barely deserves her girlfriend.

Raven leans down and presses her lips tenderly against Anya’s. “There’s nobody else I’d rather be with,” she whispers earnestly. “I love you, Anya,” she continues, kissing her girlfriend again. “I’ll always love you.”

“I love you too, Raven,” Anya whispers, tangling her hands in Raven’s hair. “We’re going to have an amazing little family. I can hardly wait for us to have a child.”

“I’m so happy that you want this with me,” Raven says, getting emotional. “This might sound crazy, but I keep getting these spontaneous urges to turn our guestroom into a kid’s room. I know it’s early to think about stuff like that because we don’t have a child yet, but I just have this baby fever, you know?” She doesn’t want to run ahead of things, but she truly looks forward to have a child with Anya.

Anya smiles brighter and sits up, holding Raven close. “What you said doesn’t sound crazy at all,” she whispers, tucking a lock of her girlfriend’s hair behind her ear. “I wouldn’t mind it if we would turn the guestroom into a room for our child, even if at the moment we don’t have one yet,” she says while caressing Raven’s cheek. “We will have a child someday,” she assures her girlfriend, promising that it will happen. “One way or another, we will have a child.”

“The other day I walked by a store with clothes for infants and I had to resist myself from going inside and buy clothes,” Raven admits. “As I said, baby fever,” she says with a little laugh.

“We could paint and decorate the guestroom in a gender-neutral way,” Anya says, thinking about it. “We don’t know yet if we’ll have a son or a daughter and I don’t want to pin a certain color on a certain gender, so I’d say neutral,” she explains.

“We’ll steer clear of pink and blue then,” Raven says, agreeing with Anya. “How about green?”

“Shhh,” Anya whispers, kissing Raven. “We’ll discuss more later,” she promises. “I noticed a cart with bathing products.”

“Mhm,” Raven hums. “You did, did you?”

“It’s outside in the hall,” Anya says, informing Raven about where she saw it. “We could hijack it.”

“Ah so trouble runs in the family,” Raven comments teasingly.

“Trouble attracts trouble,” Anya retorts with a smile. She gets up from the bed and holds her hand out to Raven. “My partner in crime,” she says lovingly.

“I’ll fill the tub while you get the products,” Raven says, dividing the tasks.

“Only if you’ll be naked when I get back.”

“Of course I will be, babe.”

“You should hurry,” Anya insists. “I only need a minute.” She’ll grab the products quickly and run back inside to enjoy her bath with Raven.

“That’s not what you said last night, babe.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m not even sorry,” Ontari says, smirking proudly as she grabs the bottle of absinthe that she won fair and square. She looks at her friends, who are all in their underwear. “You were so close to winning though,” she says to Lexa.

“I would have won the last round if you hadn’t called my bluff,” Lexa retorts, painfully aware of how close she was to win. “You took a lucky guess.”

“True,” Ontari admits. “I wasn’t sure if you were bluffing or not.”

“I’m going to get some more beer,” Lexa says, wanting another drink.

“I’ll share the absinthe,” Ontari offers. “It’s your birthday, you gotta have fun.”

“I’m kinda hungry,” Octavia whines, hearing her stomach grumbling. “What are we going to eat?” At this moment it feels like a shame to her that Raven isn’t around to cook them something delicious.

Lexa dials a number on her phone. “I’ll order us some pizza,” she says, being hungry as well. “When the food gets here we can watch a movie.”

Ontari skims through the scary movies while Lexa orders pizza.

“If they’re not here within thirty minutes, we’re getting our pizzas for free,” Lexa says, plopping down on the couch and putting her feet up on the table.

“As hungry as I am, I hope they’ll take thirty-one minutes,” Octavia says. “The only thing better than free pizza is free booze.”

“Nah,” Ontari says, disagreeing. “Pizza and booze are both good.”

“I don’t care if it’s free or not,” Lexa says indifferently. “All I care about is that the pizzas will be good.”

“So,” Octavia says, placing her hand on Lexa’s knee. “How does it feel being eighteen?” she asks curiously.

“Not much different than when I was seventeen,” Lexa says truthfully. She knows Octavia can hardly wait to turn eighteen because of Lincoln, but for her it’s just a number, although she has some faint hope that perhaps now that she’s a bit older, Clarke might be a bit easier to give her a chance.

“Do you feel old?” Ontari teases.

“You can have fun with for a month,” Lexa says dryly. “But in a month from now you’ll be just as old as I am.”

“I’d switch with you both in the blink of an eye,” Octavia comments.

“You’re really set on Lincoln, eh?” Lexa asks, smiling.

“Don’t get her started again,” Ontari groans. “O already talks about him every single day.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes,” Lexa says, standing up. She’d rather be dressed once the pizza arrives.

“Not fair,” Trisha complains. “I want clothes too.” She gives Ontari a pleading look to get her clothes back.

Ontari proudly looks at the pile of clothes she gathered. “I dare you to open the door in your underwear, Lex,” she says challengingly.

“What the actual fuck,” Lexa says, frowning. “It could be a creepy guy for all we know.”

“Are you chickening out?”

“Fine, I’ll do it,” Lexa says with determination. She’s not going to back away from a dare. “Truth or dare it is.”

“What happens if we don’t want to answer a question?” Lola asks. “Or if we don’t want to do a dare?”

“If you pass on truth, you have to take a shot,” Lexa decides. “If you pass on a dare, you have to eat a lemon.”

“Ew lemons,” Octavia says, scrunching her nose up in disgust. “I won’t be passing up any dares then.”

When the doorbell rings, Lexa takes a deep breath and opens the door. “Luna?” she says, shocked to see her ex delivering their pizzas.

Luna stares at Lexa, open-mouthed and nearly drops the pizzas. “Um…,” she says, closing her mouth. “I deliver pizzas sometimes.”

“I can see that,” Lexa replies, feeling quite self-conscious to be standing here in her underwear. She accepts the pizza boxes from Luna and holds out the money, frowning when Luna shakes her head. “You delivered within thirty minutes,” she says, knowing that means the pizzas aren’t free.

“I know I delivered within thirty minutes,” Luna says, aware of that fact. She doesn’t want to accept Lexa’s money, because the moment she knew the address she had to deliver to, she knew she wasn’t going to take any money for it. “Happy birthday, Lexa.”

“Thanks,” Lexa says while she shifts from one foot onto the other. The cold from outside is seeping in, so she wants to go back inside to be warm again and to finally put some clothes on. “I’ll see you at school.” She closes the door and hurries towards the living room with the pizzas.

“Finally, I’m starving,” Ontari says the second she sees Lexa walking in with the pizzas.

Lexa helps herself to a slice of pizza. “Lola, truth or dare?” she asks sweetly.

“Dare.”

Lexa whispers something in Lola’s ear so the others can’t hear her. She sits back and enjoys her pizza while watching the girl go to the kitchen and return with a handful of ice cubes.

Ontari screams when Lola puts the ice cubes in the back of her sweater. “That’s fucking cold!” she shouts, jumping up to get rid of the ice cubes.

“Gold,” Octavia corrects, holding her hand up to high five Lexa. “Good one.”

“You had it coming, Ri,” Lexa says dryly, without a hint of regret. “You made me open the door in my underwear,” she reminds Ontari, to let her know that she does take revenge. Much to her amusement, her friend keeps muttering and grumbling while they continue to play.

“Truth or dare?” Octavia asks Lexa after a few turns.

“Truth,” Lexa chooses, since her last dare was eating an entire pizza by herself. It wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t eaten chips while they played strip poker. She could have rejected the dare, but then she’d have to eat a lemon, which would have been worse.

“Are you into Miss Griffin?” Octavia asks bluntly and curiously. Ontari and she have been having a strong suspicion that Lexa is into Miss Griffin and they’re nearly sure of it that they’re right.

Lexa notices the serious look on Ontari’s face, no sign of her signature smirk or a grin and she sees Octavia shares that serious look, while Lola, Trisha and Emori seem to be holding their breath. She pinches the bridge of her noses, closes her eyes and sighs. “When?”

“That day we went skateboarding in the park,” Ontari answers. “When you were having ice cream with her and her son.”

“It was kind of obvious,” Octavia chimes in. “I guess the real question I should be asking you is how serious this is.”

“Yeah,” Ontari agrees with Octavia. “She has a kid, that’s huge.”

Lexa can tell her friends are drifting away from the game and she can’t believe they have known for all those weeks and didn’t tell her. Then again, she didn’t tell them either, so she’s not one to talk. She knows that the fact Clarke has a son is much more than just a detail, but she adores Aden and doesn’t mind being around him.

“Movie time?” Trisha asks, wanting to break the awkward silence.

Lexa nods and makes herself comfortable on the couch. She doesn’t want to talk about Clarke, or at least not now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Ugh,” Lexa groans, annoyed. She can’t believe that she has been asked to babysit Aden, the day after her birthday. It’s unbelievable that Clarke wants her to babysit him so she can do other stuff, because this really sucks, but apparently Aden really looks forward to seeing her and she doesn’t want to let him down. It would be wrong if she would punish him for things that aren’t his fault, so she’ll pull through for him.

“This better not be all day,” Lexa mutters as she knocks on Clarke’s door. She had received the text shortly after she woke up and of course Anya and Raven are still at the hotel they went to, so they weren’t an option.

“Hello, Lexa,” Clarke says with a smile the second she opens the door. “Please, come in. It’s a bit cold.”

The first thing Lexa notices is that Clarke is wearing the medallion she gifted her, which is surprising because it’s the first time she sees the blonde wearing it. “Hello, Clarke,” she says dryly as she walks in. She expects Aden to run up to her, but instead nothing happens, which makes her frown. “Where is Aden?” she asks eventually when she doesn’t even see him.

“Oh he’s not here,” Clarke replies lightly.

Lexa is confused right now, since she’s been asked to babysit Aden. “Did you… trick me to come here?” she asks, but the moment she sees the big smile on Clarke’s face she can already tell that she has been tricked. She laughs and shakes her head. “You could have just told me if you wanted me to come over.”

“I want to show you something,” Clarke says with a serious tone. “I know I just let you in, but we have to go outside.”

“Um okay,” Lexa says confused.

“And I need you to get in my car.”

“Are you kidnapping me?” Lexa asks teasingly. “You have a very lovely way of asking, I must say.” Despite teasing Clarke a bit, she can’t contain her curiosity about what the blonde wants to show her. She follows Clarke outside and gets inside her car, fastening her seatbelt.

Clarke reveals a tie and holds it up. “I kind of need to blindfold you for a moment,” she says almost apologetically. “May I?”

Lexa can’t believe she’s going to be blindfolded while there’s no bed involved. “Okay,” she says, granting Clarke permission, trusting her.

Clarke carefully blindfolds Lexa, making sure her hair isn’t stuck between the knots she makes. She will drive gently, even though the brunette is wearing her seatbelt. At this moment she’s fully responsible for Lexa and nobody even knows she’s taking her. Raven and Anya assume that Lexa is babysitting Aden.

Lexa inhales and exhales slowly while she starts counting seconds to estimate how long she would be in the car for once they finally get out, since she has no idea where Clarke is taking her. The corner of her lips curl into a smile when she hears the blonde singing quietly along with her radio. Five minutes and twenty-four seconds she counts in her head when the car stops, but she knows it was only a red light when the car starts moving again.

After driving for a while, Clarke parks her car. “Wait, don’t move,” she instructs Lexa. She gets out of her car and runs around it to the other side to open the brunette’s door. “I’m going to guide you,” she explains as she grabs Lexa’s hand in hers. She uses her other hand to make sure the brunette doesn’t bump her head.

Lexa is glad when she’s out of the car, but she wonders where Clarke is taking her and where they are. She tries to keep it cool and simply follows the blonde while she’s being guided.

“Here,” Clarke says, halting Lexa. She takes the tie off and chews her bottom lip as she waits for a reaction, which hopefully will be a positive one.

Lexa blinks her eyes a few times to adjust to the sudden light after having been blindfolded. “No way,” she gasps and puts her hands in front of her mouth.

“Happy birthday, Lexa,” Clarke says sweetly. “I can’t believe you thought I was truly asking you to babysit Aden the morning after your birthday.” She smiles as Lexa observes every inch of her graffiti art on the wall.

Lexa traces her index finger over the art, admiring the stars, the forest and the animals. She doesn’t even have to ask, because she can see Clarke made this and what’s even more special is that this has been made for her. “I love it,” she says as she hugs the blonde tightly. “Thank you.”

“There is one more thing,” Clarke reveals. When Lexa lets go, she gets a bag out of the trunk of her car and opens it. “We are going to decorate that wall over there,” she says as she points at the empty wall next to the one she decorated. In her class she noticed the brunette has a raw talent, so she’s taking a guess that something like this is right up Lexa’s alley. Not to forget how she overheard the brunette mumbling something about missing her graffiti days.

“I must say, Aden is a sweet kid and no offense to him, but this is the best time I ever had babysitting him,” Lexa says with a smile. She grabs a can of blue spray paint to start on the empty wall.

Clarke laughs amusedly because she already had a feeling Lexa would enjoy this. “I brought us some hot chocolate and coffee, depending on what you want,” she announces.

“No bottle of champagne or something?” Lexa asks teasingly, knowing that Clarke probably wouldn’t let her drink alcohol.

“One illegal thing at a time,” Clarke replies with a serious tone.

“Oh my god,” Lexa says shocked. She glances around, to see if she can spot anyone who would call the police or something.

Clarke bursts out laughing at Lexa’s reaction. “I’m kidding,” she assures her. “I paid for it,” she explains to reassure the brunette. She crosses her arms and grins. “Lexa, the rebel of school, shrinking under the law.”

“Hey,” Lexa says. “Come on, not fair.” She sprays the blue paint on Clarke’s sweater as a form of small revenge.

Clarke’s jaw drops. “You didn’t,” she says, surprised.

“It matches your eyes.”

“Oh well in that case….,” Clarke says, trailing off as she grabs a can of green paint. “Let’s match yours too.”

 


	29. Good news and bad news

“You look ridiculous,” Lexa says, smiling as she looks at Clarke, who is covered in spray paint in various colors. She knows it’s her fault, but the blonde definitely had that one coming, so she doesn’t regret it.

“Very flattering,” Clarke says sarcastically. “I’m happy that you had fun.” It feels good for her to see Lexa smiling so much, especially because she missed seeing that smile.

“I’ve enjoyed this surprise. You really put some thought into it.” Lexa backs Clarke up against the wall. “I’m eighteen now,” she says casually, hinting. It may be pointless to hope, but she hopes nonetheless because she can feel that there is some kind of energy between them that draws them together like magnets.

“I know,” Clarke replies. “I figured that one out when I tricked you into babysitting Aden,” she says, trying to joke it off, although she can hear where Lexa wants to go with this.

“Will you go out on a date with me?” Lexa asks sweetly, cutting right to it since hinting doesn’t seem to work that well. It would be amazing if she would have the chance to take Clarke out on a date, to show that one of her many sides is a romantic one. All she needs is one chance and then they’d be set for sure.

“I can’t,” Clarke answers sadly. A part of her really wants to go out with Lexa, but she shouldn’t. She’s not in an ideal position to date the brunette, despite of her own feelings.

“I’m not too young anymore,” Lexa points out, thus stating that her age isn’t an issue. At least that’s one thing that can’t be used against her anymore.

“Your age isn’t the problem,” Clarke says softly. It used to be one of the reasons why she can’t and now it isn’t a reason anymore, but she still has a few other reasons why she can’t. “I’m your teacher, Lexa,” she explains, hoping Lexa will understand. “I can’t date any of my students.” It’s strictly prohibited and if she would do that, she might get caught and if she gets caught she could end up in prison. It would not only put her career on the line, but Aden as well and she wouldn’t be a good mother if she would do that.

“Nobody has to know,” Lexa tries. “We could keep it a secret,” she suggests. If Clarke would agree to date her, she wouldn’t tell anyone, not even her friends. It would simply be between the two of them, because there is no way she wants to hurt the blonde in any way.

“The risk is too high,” Clarke says with a serious tone. She would have to put a lot at stake to do something like that and it wouldn’t be responsible of her. “It is better if you date another student,” she suggests.

“Another student like Echo?” Lexa asks calmly.

Clarke’s eyebrow twitches for a moment as she thinks back about how Lexa was all over Echo and vice versa, which felt like torture. “Yes,” she says as calmly as possible. “Or another student.”

“And you want us to be friends?”

“I would like for us to be friends, yes,” Clarke confirms. “If you wouldn’t mind being my friend,” she adds quickly, realizing this isn’t only her choice to make.

“Okay,” Lexa says, letting it go for now. “Friends.” She decides she’ll try to date other people, to see if perhaps she can find someone who can help her get over Clarke. It’s understandable that the blonde can’t take the risk and as much as likes to play with fire sometimes, she knows Clarke has to think about Aden and her career.

“You can shower at my place and borrow some clothes,” Clarke offers, realizing she can’t send Lexa home covered in spray paint.

“Your car seats will get dirty,” Lexa points out. “They’ll be full of paint.”

“I have plastic in my trunk,” Clarke explains. “We can use that to sit on so the seats won’t get paint on them.”

“Gee, it’s almost as if you planned to cover me with paint,” Lexa notes teasingly.

“Perhaps I can look into the future and I knew you would cover me with paint first.”

“Does that make you a teacher slash fortune teller now?”

Clarke chuckles and grasps Lexa’s hand, pretending to read her palm while she traces her finger over it. “Hmm, yes I see,” she says with a serious tone. “You will be my best student, top of the class.”

“I think you’re reading your dream, not my future.”

“My dream was lovely while it lasted,” Clarke retorts, smiling. She becomes aware of the heat in her cheeks at how close she’s standing to Lexa. If she wants to play this out as friends, she might have to remember to take a step back, even when they’re alone. She doesn’t want to send out any mixed confused feelings.

Lexa knits her eyebrows together in confusion when Clarke drops her hand as if she just got burned. She sighs when the blonde takes two steps back and that’s the moment where it clicks for her what Clarke is doing, which is unnecessary really.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When February rolls around the corner, Lexa wakes up to the smell of coffee and croissants, while Raven and Anya are smiling like they’re not able to stop.  

Lexa sits down and stares at them for a moment as they share looks with each other. “Okay fine,” she grumbles, seeing they’re about to combust. “I’ll ask,” she says, filling herself a cup of coffee. “What’s going on? Why are you both all smiley this morning?”

“You’re in a good mood,” Anya comments, not surprised Lexa is being grumpy. Lately her cousin’s moods have been dropping more often than not and asking about it hasn’t done anything so far. “Raven and I have news to share.”

“This is so exciting,” Raven says cheerfully, bouncing on her chair. She has been eagerly waiting with Anya for Lexa to wake up so they can tell her.

Lexa blows into her steamy cup of coffee. “Spill it,” she says, wanting to know what it is.

“We are officially on the waitlist to adopt a child,” Anya announces with a wide smile. “This is really happening and it’s amazing.” She can barely believe it is real, but since they’re signed up it really is a step towards expanding their family.

“After a long discussion, we decided we want to adopt a child,” Raven explains, still excited. She had talked with Anya about all their possibilities and it came up that they don’t necessarily want to be pregnant.

“I’m happy for you both,” Lexa says, trying not to sound grumpy. She doesn’t want to ruin their happiness and as cheesy as it is, she’s happy to see her cousin so happy and Raven caused that, so yes, she’s happy for them. “How long do you have to wait?”

“They said it could take a few months or a year,” Anya explains. Waiting won’t be easy, but then again, with pregnancy they’d have to wait as well so it doesn’t make much of a difference. She’s glad that Lexa is showing interest in this. “It’s an LGBT friendly agency.”

“I’m guessing you’ll be using the guestroom,” Lexa assumes, seeing nowhere else where they’d possibly let the child sleep, since there aren’t any other available rooms. “Unless you were thinking about taking my room,” she adds, sharing her afterthought. It’s likely since she’ll be off to college in September and she’ll be sharing a dorm with her friends.

“We won’t use your room,” Anya says abruptly, putting that out of the question. “The guestroom will do. We’ll keep your room as it is.”

“I could help to paint it or something,” Lexa offers.

Anya lights up and shares a smile with Raven. “We appreciate that,” she says earnestly.

“For each hour I paint I expect a breakfast like this.”

“Pure bribery,” Raven says, laughing. “We accept your terms and conditions.”

Lexa takes a bite out of her croissant and thinks about how Raven really isn’t so bad. She used to have quite a bit of pent up anger because she felt like she was being pushed aside and she felt embarrassed how her cousin was dating one of her teachers. Now that’s in the past, because Anya’s happiness isn’t about her and if people would mock her about living with a teacher then it’s just sad that they don’t have more of a life than that.

“I’m going to make some hot chocolate,” Raven announces, getting up from the table. “This breakfast screams for it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m psyched for Valentine,” Ontari says, smiling as she sits on the bench at the park next to Lexa and Octavia.

“You, psyched for Valentine?” Lexa asks curiously. “That’s a first, you usually hate that day,” she says truthfully, knowing Ontari well. “You hate romance.”

“That was pre-Lola,” Ontari says, waving it off quickly. Okay so what if she was never much into romance? She’s very much into her girlfriend and wants to go all out on Valentine to make it special for Lola. “Gotta treat my girl.”

“I’m bummed for Valentine,” Octavia sighs. “Still not eighteen, ugh.” She wishes she could spend Valentine with Lincoln, but alas she’s still too young for him and it sucks. It did cross her mind to date someone else for the time being, but she doesn’t see a point in dating someone when she wants him.

“Our school will be selling roses again,” Lexa says, positively sure they will since it appears to be tradition. For a dollar they can buy a red rose and request to have it handed to someone, anonymous or not. “Which class is in charge of it this year?”

“I think it’s the freshmen this year,” Octavia guesses.

“Okay,” Lexa says, thinking about how she’ll have Reese bringing the ones she’ll buy to the people she wants to get one. She’ll be buying roses for her friends, as she always does.

“I wonder how many roses you’ll get this year, Lex,” Ontari says, smirking while she remembers last year.

“Yeah, me too,” Octavia chimes in. “Didn’t you get like twenty-one roses or something last year?”

“You’ve got lots of secret admirers, Lex,” Ontari says truthfully.

“I hope this year I don’t get any from freshmen, because that’s just weird,” Lexa says, considering last year she received three roses from freshmen and they’re simply way too young for her. “What are you going to do for Lol?” she asks Ontari, switching the topic to her friend.

“I’m not telling you guys,” Ontari says resolute, standing her ground. “You’ll know soon enough, for now I’ll keep it to myself.”

“I’m going to try out my new skateboard,” Lexa says, putting it down.

“Wait for me,” Octavia says, putting her skateboard down too. “I need to work on my shuvit.”

“Try fixing your balance first,” Ontari mocks. “If you can land a shuvit, I’ll pay you ten dollars.”

“Do I get ten dollars too if I land mine?” Lexa asks, knowing it’ll be a piece of cake for her.

“Nice try, Lex, but nope.”

“Where the fuck is my equality at?”

“Skate-off it is.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m sorry for bringing Aden to you so early,” Clarke whispers, aware that it’s the crack of dawn.

Raven yawns and holds her hand in front of her mouth. “It’s okay,” she whispers, reassuring Clarke. “The others are still sleeping.”

“I didn’t mean to call you on such a terribly short notice.”

“Clarke, it’s okay,” Raven whispers, repeating herself. “We’ve been over this before, don’t worry.”

Clarke carefully hands Aden, who is sleeping in her arms, over to Raven. “I should be back later today or tonight,” she explains.

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

Clarke kisses Aden’s cheek and walks away, sighing because she’ll have to drive for a few hours. She received a very early, or well, very late call, depending on how you look at it, from the private investigator she hired. Not much was said on the phone, aside from the fact that she has to meet up with him somewhere near her old college and she’s curious to know what he found out about Aden’s father.

“Should I drive?” Roan kindly asks, seeing how Clarke’s hands are shaking.

Clarke nods and silently hands her car keys to Roan. “I’m sorry that I woke you up so early,” she apologizes as she sits down on the passenger’s seat. She didn’t want to go alone to hear the news and taking Raven with her would have been suspicious, because she doesn’t want Aden to be there and Roan has been a good friend.

“I’m often up early,” Roan says, not wanting Clarke to feel bad for it. He can tell that she needs support and it meant a lot that she confided in him about something so personal. “You could get some more sleep.  I’ll wake you when we arrive.”

Clarke isn’t sure if she can manage to sleep at this point, but it would be nice to close her eyes for a while. “That’s not necessary,” she friendly declines. “I appreciate it that you’re coming with me for this.”

“Don’t mention it,” Roan says, stopping in front of a red light. He looks briefly at Clarke, smiles warmly and squeezes her hand. “It will be okay.”

“It’s all so real now and yet it doesn’t feel that way. After all this time I’ll have answers. I wonder what kind of guy he’ll be like and what kind of life he has and how he feels about children.”

“Clarke, breathe,” Roan says calmly. “You’re thinking too far ahead. I know you have been waiting a long time to get answers and you will get them soon. Don’t break your head over it just yet.”

“You’re right,” Clarke says. She takes a few deep breaths to ease herself, reminding herself that she’ll have to be patient for a little while longer. Once they arrive she’ll have her answers.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Lessa, wake up,” Aden whispers.

“Hmm?” Lexa mumbles, still sleeping. “Wha- ouch,” she says when she feels someone jumping on top of her. She slowly opens her eyes and frowns when she sees Aden. “Hey, little buddy,” she whispers. “What are you doing here?”

“Mommy is not home.”

Lexa covers Aden’s ears with her hands. “Hey,” she shouts loudly, to draw attention from Anya and Raven. “What is Aden doing here?” Mere seconds later Raven bursts through her door.

“Sorry,” Raven apologizes. “I didn’t know he snuck into your room.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Lexa clarifies, although she can see why Raven thought that. “Why is Aden here, in our house? It’s barely morning.”

“Clarke is out on a date,” Raven lies, keeping her promise to Clarke about not telling anyone. “We’re watching Aden today.”

“Oh,” Lexa says, slightly hurt. “Okay.” She can sort of understand that Clarke would want to date people to meet someone special, since in the end she’s only a student.

Aden pushes Lexa’s hands away so he can hear again. “Lessa, I want to play,” he whispers, putting his cheek next to hers.

“I can take Aden with me,” Raven offers. She doesn’t want Lexa’s sleep to be disturbed.

“No, it’s fine,” Lexa replies. “He can stay here.”

“In that case I’ll go make us some breakfast.”

“Hey, Raven,” Lexa says, before Raven can walk away.

“Yes, Lexa?” Raven asks, lingering in the door. She wonders if perhaps Lexa wants to request a certain type of breakfast.

“Cute batman top and undies,” Lexa comments, smirking.

“Are you perving on me?” Raven asks with a playful tone.

“Should I really answer that when you’re the one who entered my room half-naked?”

“Okay, you win this round.”

Lexa chuckles while Raven walks away, having enjoyed the view quite a bit. “It’s a bit early to play,” she whispers to Aden. “You can watch a movie with me if you want to.”

“No,” Aden says shortly.

“No?” Lexa asks surprised. She tries to tickle Aden to make him laugh, but instead he pouts and crosses his arms. “Being stubborn, eh?” she teases.

“Play,” Aden demands. “Please, Lessa,” he says with a whiny tone.

“You’re a little bundle of joy this morning, aren’t you?” Lexa comments with a smile, not bothered by Aden’s impatience, but that doesn’t mean she’ll give him his way. “Breakfast first,” she says with determination.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning, Miss Griffin.”

“Please, just call me Clarke,” Clarke insists, not wanting too many formalities. “This is my friend, Roan,” she says, introducing him when the private investigator looks confused.

“Hello,” Roan says politely, shaking the man’s hand.

“Take a seat,” the investigator says while pointing at two seats. He moves to sit behind his desk and opens Clarke’s file. “As per your request, I have investigated to find out who the father of your son is.”

Clarke nods and holds her breath, waiting for more information. She intertwines her fingers with Roan’s, to squeeze his hand when she gets too nervous.

“Does the name Finn Collins say anything to you, Clarke?”

“Um yes,” Clarke replies, frowning slightly. “I dated him for a while in college, but I broke up with him long before I even got pregnant due to that one particular college party,” she explains. It’s quite personal, but any information she can provide may be helpful. “Are you telling me Finn is Aden’s father?”

“Yes,” the investigator confirms. He skims through his papers and rests his hand on it. “However, there is an issue.”

“What’s the issue?” Clarke asks, impatiently. “Is he demanding custody or something? Did you talk to him? Is he being difficult?” she has so many questions and she needs answers.

“Clarke,” Roan whispers softly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. He nods his head towards the private investigator who is waiting to continue.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke apologizes. “Please continue.”

“During my investigation I found out Finn Collins suffered from a heart disease, which he inherited from his late father.” He slides a paper towards Clarke. “This is his medical rapport. There is a 50/50 chance Aden inherited it from him.”

“What are you telling me? Inherited heart disease?” Clarke asks, while slowly processing the information she has so far. “50/50 chance? Where is Finn? I need to speak with him.”

“Miss, I am sorry. There is no easy way to tell you this,” the investigator says, clearing his throat. “Mister Collins passed away a year ago.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun.


	30. Hospital

Raven hurries inside the classroom, quickly closing the door behind her, aware that the bell rang five minutes ago. “Good morning, students,” she says, slightly out of breath.

“Umm… Miss Reyes,” Octavia says confused. “This is Miss Griffin’s classroom.”

Raven holds her index finger up to signal them to wait while she catches her breath. Her face must be red from how much she hurried, even though the bell rang five minutes ago. “I know you were all supposed to have a class from Miss Griffin until lunch and a class from me after lunch,” she says, aware that she’s in Clarke’s classroom. “However, Miss Griffin is not here today and I will be substituting for her.”

The students respond in a mixture of groaning and cheering.

Lexa frowns deeply and wonders where Clarke is and if perhaps she’s sick. She would ask, but it is unlikely that Raven would tell her what’s going on, especially while they’re at school.

“Don’t you have class with the juniors?” Ontari asks, knowing Lola’s schedule. Her girlfriend is supposed to have Miss Reyes now, so this doesn’t make much sense.

“Yes, I do,” Raven confirms. “That’s why I’m late here,” she explains, not done yet. She was already about to teach her class when she was asked to substitute for the seniors. “Pack your things you’re all moving to my class. For this morning you will be merged together with the juniors.”

“Miss Reyes,” Costia says. “Does this mean we will have lab all day?”

“Yes,” Raven replies. “Now hurry up, students,” she urges them, considering her other students are waiting.

Mumbling and gossiping, the students follow Raven to her class, where the juniors are already seated.

“I want to see groups of four or five,” Raven instructs, diverting from the usual groups of two or three.

Ontari sits down next to Lola. “We’re with you,” she says, smiling.

“I wonder what’s up with Miss Griffin,” Octavia whispers. “It’s the first time she misses a day.”

“Lex, you okay?” Ontari asks, whispering. She can see Lexa seems lost in her thoughts, so she nudges her. “Lex.”

“Hmm?” Lexa asks, slightly dazed. “What?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lexa whispers. “I wonder why she’s not at school today, that’s all.” The last time she saw Clarke, everything seemed fine, but of course someone can suddenly be ill out of the blue. For all she knows Aden might be the one who is sick.

“Looks like we’ll have lab all day,” Octavia whispers. She doesn’t mind this class, but an entire day of this is a bit of an overdose. “It’s chill that half of it is with Lola though,” she adds, smiling at Lola.

Ontari casually places her hand on Lola’s knee, winking at her. It’s nice that she’ll be in this class with her girlfriend for a few hours and of course during lunch they’ll sit together as well. The last few hours Lola will have another class, but she’ll still be with Lexa and Octavia so she doesn’t mind. “Do y’all want to hang at my place after school?” she asks, keeping her voice low.

“Be careful not to burn your eyebrows off, students,” Raven warns as she looks around. She’s aware that she has double the amount of students as usual to keep an eye on. Her class has never been so full before, but the principal assumed this would be fine for a few hours.

“I’d love to,” Lola whispers to Ontari. “Can I catch a ride from you?”

“Of course,” Ontari says. “You don’t even need to ask, you’re my girl.”

“I’ll be there too,” Octavia says. “I can catch a ride from you, right, Lex?”

“No, sorry you can’t,” Lexa whispers. “I’ll be going somewhere else after school.”

“We can walk,” Ontari suggests to Lola and Octavia, since she can’t both give them a ride.

Lexa would give in to spend time with her friends, but she already spends time with them so much and for today she has different plans, so they’ll have to wait. She knows Octavia, Ontari and Lola don’t mind it if she doesn’t hang with them all the time.

Raven tries not to stress, having to keep an eye on roughly forty students. She has to make sure they don’t mix any wrong substances so the classroom doesn’t go boom. It’s a bit of a mystery to her where Clarke is today. All she knows is that her friend seemed genuinely upset the last time she saw her, after she babysat Aden for Clarke. She remembers her friend didn’t say much and seemed in a hurry to take Aden home. During her lunch break she will send Clarke a text to find out if she’s okay.

Lexa doesn’t pay much attention to the class and stares out the window instead.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Clarke,” Abby says, surprised and shocked. She looks at her daughter and at the little boy, who she assumes must be Aden. “You should not come here,” she says dryly, putting her clipboard under her arm. The fact that Clarke came to her house was one thing, but coming to her work is a bridge too far.

Clarke sighs and places her hands over Aden’s ears, because this won’t be pretty. “You can’t banish me from the hospital for fucks sakes,” she curses, annoyed by her mother’s reaction upon seeing her. That she’s being told not to visit her mother is one thing, but being told not to come to the hospital is not okay, since this is a public place. “I’m not here to chit chat with you. I’m here because you’re a doctor and a good one at that. So do your damn job,” she says sharply. She didn’t drive all this way for her mother’s nonsense or to have a family moment or something.

Abby is taken aback by Clarke’s angry outburst. “Which one of you is the patient?” she asks calmly, slipping into her role as doctor. She holds her pen in her right hand and her clipboard in her other hand, ready to write a few things down.

“My son, Aden Griffin,” Clarke says, feeling nervous. She doesn’t have time to catch up on everything with her mother, so she’ll keep it basic. “His father passed away due to a heart disease. There is a fifty percent chance Aden inherited it. I need you to examine him.” She has to know if her son has it or not and in case of the former she wants to know which treatment he can get.

Abby drops her clipboard and quickly recovers, picking it up. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” she says with a sad undertone.

“Don’t pretend you care all of the sudden,” Clarke bites. “You can keep your standard words to yourself and be real.”

Abby puts her pen away. “Follow me,” she says as she walks towards a door.

Clarke moves her hands away from Aden’s ears and picks him up, following her mother. “Remember when we played doctor, baby?” she asks her son sweetly.

Aden nods and looks around, seeing many new things.

“We’re going to play doctor again,” Clarke says with a smile, to try and avoid having Aden be scared. Ever since she found out about the bad news, she has been playing doctor with him to prepare him for this as much as she could on a short notice.

“Hello, Aden,” Abby says softly with a friendly smile. “Your mother is going to be my special assistant today.”

Clarke puts Aden down and unbuttons your shirt. “Mommy is going to help the doctor to look how special your heart is,” she whispers, hiding the small crack in her voice. “You’re my brave little man.”

Abby prepares everything with two assistants. “Clarke,” she says while gently touching her shoulder. “I have to ask you to wait in the hall so we can do our work.”

“I don’t want to leave him alone,” Clarke whispers. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I will do a few little tests,” Abby explains to Aden. “If you’re nice you will get a lollipop later,” she says with a smile, fishing a lollipop out of her pocket. “I’ll keep this one aside for you.” She puts the lollipop down and points at her colleagues. “These are my helpers,” she says with a smile. “Santa has helpers too, doesn’t he?”

Aden looks nervously at Clarke and clings to her hand.

“It’s okay, baby,” Clarke whispers, holding his hand and rubbing his back with her other hand. “Mommy is right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Against her better judgment, Lexa races to Clarke’s house after school rather than going home or hanging out with her friends. She wants to see if perhaps the blonde is sick and if there is anything she might be able to do, such as cook. Her helmet is clumsily placed on top of her motorcycle and she nearly trip as she hurries to knock on Clarke’s door.

The door opens slowly, revealing Clarke with red puffy eyes.

“Clarke?” Lexa asks concerned. Her worries grow bigger when Clarke cries and when she sees her about to collapse, she doesn’t hesitate a second to step inside and catch her. “Shh, I got you,” she whispers, stroking her hair and shutting the door with her foot.

Clarke sniffles and lightly pulls away, rubbing at her eyes. “Why are you here?” she asks.

“I wanted to check up on you,” Lexa admits. “To see if you’re okay.” She glances around and doesn’t see Aden. “Where is Aden?”

“He’s sleeping in his room for now,” Clarke whispers, barely coherent. She pulls Lexa closer and cries on her shoulder. “I hired a private investigator to find Aden’s father, but it turns out his father is dead due to a heart condition and I was told there is a fifty percent chance my son might have inherited it,” she explains, rambling with a panicky tone in her voice. “I went to the hospital today to have him examined and now I have to wait for the results and I’m so worried, I don’t know what to do anymore,” she blurts out, getting it all off of her chest.

“Hey, Clarke,” Lexa whispers softly, taking both of Clarke’s hands in hers and coaxing her to sit down on the couch. “It must be difficult for you to process all of this,” she says while trying to process everything she’s just been told.

“What if Aden dies?”

“Let’s not think so far ahead yet,” Lexa whispers, trying to calm Clarke down. “There is a fifty percent chance that Aden is fine.” The last thing the blonde would need right now is for her to panic as well, so even though hearing all of this is scary and concerning, she’ll remain calm.

Clarke is relieved that Lexa stopped by, because today has been difficult. It wasn’t exactly her plan to blurt it all out, but she couldn’t help herself and the situation has been weighing her down.

“Did you eat yet?” Lexa asks, knowing it is nearly dinner time.

Clarke shakes her head. Today she has been busy with a thousand things on her mind and she didn’t have the energy to bring herself to eat.

“I’ll make you some food,” Lexa offers. “You have to eat something. You’re struggling, but not eating won’t make anything better or change the outcome,” she says softly, trying not to sound harsh.

Clarke lets Lexa’s words sink in and she has to admit that the brunette does have a point. “Will you go with me?” she asks with a shaky voice.

Lexa can hear exactly what Clarke is asking of her. “When?”

“Tomorrow after school I’ll go to the hospital to hear his results.”

“I’ll be there,” Lexa promises.

“You’re a really good friend, Lexa,” Clarke says earnestly, appreciating it a lot what Lexa is doing for her.

Lexa hugs Clarke and gently rubs her back, kissing the top of her head. “Does spaghetti sound good to you?”

“Aden loves spaghetti,” Clarke says with a smile. “Spaghetti is good.”

“Prepare to be amazed,” Lexa says lightly. “I have my own special recipe.”

“As long as it’s edible, it’ll be okay.”

Lexa hears Aden shouting, indicating that he woke up. “Ah, my little help,” she says with a chipper tone. She walks up to his room and opens the door.

“Lessa!” Aden shouts happily. He gasps and places his hand in front of his mouth as if he can’t believe to see her.

“Surprise,” Lexa says with a big smile, picking him up. “We’re going to make spaghetti.”

“Spajetti!”

Clarke wipes a tear away and smiles at how happy Aden is to see Lexa. She should consider letting her babysit him sometimes or bringing him more to Raven and Anya.

Lexa hums a song while she bounces Aden on her hip to make him laugh. When she looks at Clarke and at him, she feels an overwhelming urge to protect them both, to keep them safe from all harm.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I know I already said this,” Clarke says, sighing. “Thank you, Lexa,” she says again, repeating herself, because she can’t thank Lexa enough.

“Anything to help out a friend,” Lexa replies with a smile. She takes Aden out of the car seat and carefully puts him down, holding his hand tightly so they can walk together.

“I’m really nervous about his results,” Clarke admits. She didn’t manage to sleep much and she has been a wreck all day because she’s worried sick. A hundred what ifs have been going through her mind like a record that won’t stop playing the same song. “I don’t know whether to be relieved or scared to finally find out.”

“We’ll hear what the doctor says,” Lexa says with a calm tone, she reaches out for Clarke’s hand with her free hand. “Breathe with me,” she whispers.

Clarke squeezes Lexa’s hand tightly as she breathes in and softens her grip as she breathes out. “You’re right,” she admits, aware that she hasn’t been keeping her head cool. “Okay, I’m ready to find out.”

Lexa hoists Aden up and walks into the hospital with Clarke, following her to where she has to be. She watches a doctor, a middle-aged woman she guesses, approaching them and she can see the woman looks tired.

“Hello, Clarke,” Abby greets with a small smile. She points towards a smaller room, signaling for them to enter. “It’s nice to see you again, Aden,” she says politely, smiling at him before she sits down. “And you are?” she asks curiously, eyeing the brunette.

“She’s my friend,” Clarke answers. Once again, she’s not here to chit chat, she’s here for Aden. “So, my son’s results?” she asks impatiently.

Abby glances at the brunette, who has Aden on her lap and she can see Clarke clinging on to the girl for dear life. Right, friends. She sighs silently and folds her hands together, looking her daughter in the eyes. “Aden’s heart is perfectly fine,” she says, clearing that up right away.

“Thank god,” Clarke whispers, relieved. “He’s okay then? He’s healthy?”

“As a doctor I do advice an annual examination, as a check-up,” Abby suggests. “Has Aden ever experienced a rash, seemingly out of the blue?”

“Why are you asking me that?” Clarke asks, slightly panicking.

“Do you have any pets?”

“No, I don’t,” Clarke replies, frowning. “What’s going on?”

“He’s allergic, isn’t he?” Lexa asks, speaking up. “Aden is allergic to cats and dogs,” she assumes, staring at the doctor.

“Yes,” Abby confirms. “Aden’s blood results showed us he is allergic to cats and dogs,” she explains. “Though not severely allergic, it is not recommended to keep Aden near cats and dogs.”

Clarke realizes Lexa has a cat and she probably shouldn’t drop Aden off there anymore, especially not for more than a few hours. “Is that all?” she asks, hoping it is.

“Yes,” Abby replies. “Aside from his allergy, he is a healthy little boy.”

Lexa gently squeezes Clarke’s hand, to let her know she’s here and that it’s okay. She’s relieved that Aden is healthy.

Clarke awkwardly shakes her mother’s hand. “Thank you, doctor,” she says, a bit uncomfortable.

Aden stretches his hand out towards Abby with a smile on his face. “Lollipop,” he says, not having forgotten last time.

Abby smiles back at Aden and hands him a lollipop. She’s proud of her daughter for having such a beautiful healthy son and for how well Clarke is doing with him, raising him as a single mother. When she looks at the brunette, she sees something special and she hopes that whoever that girl is, she will make her daughter and her grandson happy.

 


	31. Valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;)

“Got your hands full?” Lexa asks Reese, smiling at her. “Valentine sure is a busy day here.” She can see other students, hurriedly buying roses for this special day, as they do every year.

Reese looks up at Lexa and smiles at her. “Do you want to buy a rose for someone?” she asks with a hopeful look.

Lexa fishes a crumpled piece of paper out of her pocket. “I wrote all the names on here,” she explains as she hands Reese the note, along with money for the roses.

“My name is on this list,” Reese says as she reads through it.

“Yup,” Lexa confirms. “I buy roses for all my friends.” She wasn’t going to leave Reese out, which would have been mean, especially since the freshmen are assigned to bring the roses around. It’s just a rose as a small token of affection for her friends.

“Look who’s chipper today,” Ontari comments as she approaches Lexa and points at Octavia. “If she keeps smiling like that, we might have to take her to the doctor.”

“Hey, O,” Lexa says, drawing her attention. “What is making you all smiley today?” she asks curiously. She has to hand it to Ontari that Octavia does look awfully chipper today, which makes her wonder why.

Octavia grabs Lexa’s hands, fully excited. “I got a whole box of chocolates from Lincoln!” she says happily. “He’s making an exception and he will celebrate Valentine with me.” She’s so excited that she’s tempted to scream from the top of her lungs.

“I’m happy for you,” Lexa says sincerely.

“This is going to be the best Valentine’s Day ever!”

“Are you done screaming now?” Ontari groans, although she’s happy for Octavia. She’s still waking up a bit and her ears can’t handle so many decibels at the moment.

“Yeah, I’m done now,” Octavia says dryly. She puts her hands on her hips and smirks at Ontari. “I’m ready to see what you have in store for Lola,” she comments, changing the topic.

“As if I’d let you know,” Ontari says dryly, shaking her head. She smiles when Lola approaches, since she had been waiting for her.

The bell rings, making them aware it’s time for class.

“Dammit,” Ontari mutters. Now that her girlfriend is finally here that damn bells ruins it. “I’ll see you at lunch,” she whispers to Lola, kissing her.

Lexa enters Clarke’s classroom, being one of the first to enter this time. It’s a shame that she can’t celebrate Valentine with her, given how they’re just friends. She still has hope that someday they could go out together, perhaps when summer comes around.

“Good morning, students,” Clarke says, greeting them.

“Good morning, Miss Griffin.”

Clarke leaves the door open, knowing that soon the freshmen will walk in for a moment to deliver roses. She likes how this school does something like this for Valentine, although she was concerned that some students may not get any roses, until she heard from Raven that every student gets one ‘secret’ rose by default.

Reese knocks on the door, even though it’s open.

“You may come in,” Clarke says kindly to the shy girl, who is carrying a basket with roses. She sees another girl and signals for her to come in as well. While the girls hand out roses, she sits down behind her desk, patiently waiting.

Ontari tries to hide her blush when she receives ten roses from Lola, according to the card attached to them and of course she also receives one rose from each of her friends and much to her surprise, a few from girls who appear to have a crush on her.

“Oh my,” Octavia says when she receives random roses from guys and girls, from nearly every class. “Aw cute, I got a few from freshmen,” she whispers, endeared. Her heart is fully reserved for Lincoln, but she still thinks it’s really sweet.

“That’s weird,” Ontari says bluntly. “Freshmen are like young siblings.”

Lexa is surprised when she receives a rose from Luna and even from Costia. She looks through the cards attached to the roses, to see who they are all from. “Ugh, some are from guys,” she says, crinkling her nose up.

“They can keep dreaming,” Ontari says, smirking.

“Be my valentine,” Lexa says aloud, reading one of the cards she received.

“I’m flattered, but I’m with Lola,” Ontari says teasingly. “Should’ve asked me a year ago, I was single then.”

“Oh shut up,” Lexa grumbles, smiling at her friend.

Octavia leans on Lexa’s desk. “Who’s it from?” she asks curiously.

Lexa turns the card around. “From your gal pals, Arctic and Grounder,” she reads and hears her friends laugh. “Bitches.”

“You should have seen your face,” Ontari says amusedly.

Octavia counts her roses and casually counts Ontari’s and Lexa’s as well. “Cough up those twenty dollars, Ri,” she says, holding her hand out to cash her money.

“Fucking hell,” Ontari curses, grabbing her wallet. “Lex got the most roses again?”

“Babe, she’s got the most roses every year,” Octavia retorts dryly. “Just cuz Echo was all over her didn’t mean she’d get fewer roses.”

“You two bet on me?” Lexa asks disbelievingly. “Ri, you bet against me?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Ontari says shamelessly. “I thought O would have the most roses out of us, but it turns out you’re taking the crown once again.”

“And I’m taking the money,” Octavia says proudly, snatching the money out of Ontari’s hand. “Thanks, doll,” she says sweetly.

“Call me doll again and I’ll punch you.”

Octavia chuckles and blows Ontari a kiss.

Lexa laughs and shakes her head, always amused to see her best friends interacting with each other. Sometimes they are the most unlikely bunch and she’s sure Octavia is the softest one, though she can throw a punch.

“It’s not fair how you’re both eighteen while I’m still stuck being seventeen,” Octavia notes, impatient to turn eighteen as well.

“Look at the bright side,” Lexa says. “Lincoln will be celebrating Valentine with you, so it doesn’t matter much.” She looks forward to Octavia turning eighteen so she can reveal the motorcycle with Ontari and see how hyped Octavia will get.

“It feels good to be eighteen,” Ontari says with a smile. “I miss my party though.”

“Your party was a blast,” Octavia comments. “I had a lot of fun.”

Lexa had a good time at Ontari’s party as well, which was different from hers. Instead of games, they took shots on each other’s body. The music was loud and a lot of random college students were present. She drunk so much that she had a hangover the next day and a headache that felt like it wouldn’t end.

“You either know how to party or you don’t,” Ontari says bluntly.

Clarke claps her hands together to stop her students from talking once the freshmen are gone and the roses have all been handed out. She allowed them to talk for a little bit, but now it is time for her to teach.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, Tiger,” Lexa says sweetly, crouching down and petting her cat. She can see a bouquet of roses decorating the table. “What a day, eh?” She kisses Tiger’s head and stands back up.

“You’re home,” Anya says with a smile as she walks into the kitchen.

Lexa frowns when Anya’s smile doesn’t falter. “Is there news or something I should know about?” she asks when her cousin doesn’t seem to automatically spill it.

Anya points at the bouquet of roses on the table. “These were delivered today,” she explains. “For you.”

“For me?” Lexa asks surprised, wondering who would have sent her those.

“I think you have a secret admirer,” Anya says, winking. “There is a card too.”

“Okay,” Lexa sighs. “Very funny,” she says, assuming Octavia and Ontari must be behind this and she hopes Anya isn’t in on this joke.

“I’m going out to dinner with Raven,” Anya says, confused by Lexa’s odd reaction. “There is money on the counter for if you want to order food.”

“Hmm,” Lexa replies shortly. She watches as Anya leaves with Raven and picks up the card from the table to read it. “These roses are red, your eyes are green. I hope you can smile, you’re a beauty to be seen.” She blushes and puts the card down, wondering who sent her this. Looking at the red roses, she counts eighteen of them, which must be because she is eighteen.

Lexa grabs her phone, wanting to make absolutely sure that this isn’t a trick from her friends to go like ‘haha, got you’ or something.

 

 **Commander:** Very funny.

 **Grounder:** What is?

 **Commander:** The stuff you sent to my house.

 **Arctic:** It was O’s idea to fill up your room with balloons.

 **Grounder:** You bitch, you were in on it too.

 

Lexa frowns and walks up to her room and yes, the moment she opens the door, she can see her room is filled with red heart-shaped balloons.

 

 **Commander:** I was talking about the delivery, but thanks for filling up my room with spit.

 **Arctic:** You’re a delight today. What’s got your panties in a twist?

 **Commander:** The bouquet?

 **Grounder:** What bouquet?

 

Lexa slowly realizes that her friends have nothing to do with the bouquet and the card. If they did they would have confessed by now.

 

 **Commander:** Nevermind. Gotta get rid of some balloons now.

 **Arctic:** We’ll be needing answers tomorrow.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke shudders underneath Lexa’s fingertips, breathing faster and slower at the same time when those green eyes pierce right through her. She sits up, leaning in and meeting the girl’s lips with a hunger she can’t silence.

She can feel Lexa’s lips fitting perfectly against her, finding a smooth rhythm. Her hands move eagerly over the girl’s body, exploring every inch like a map. She brings her hands up, weaving them in Lexa’s hair, gently massaging the girl’s scalpel as her tongue probes for entrance.

A moan escapes from the back of her throat when one of Lexa’s hands dances up her thigh, resting between her legs. She allows the girl to push her down, sinking slowly into her pillow with Lexa’s lips attached to her own. Her hips buckle upwards, desperate for friction, knowing it has been so long, too long, since she has been touched.

She bites her bottom lip when Lexa pulls away and feels experienced hands teasing her. “Mhm,” she moans encouragingly. “Lexa, mhm, yes.” When the girl grins at her and Lexa shakes her head, she’s confused and reaches out to grab the girl’s shirt, tugging her closer.

Those teasing green eyes twinkle and she follows Lexa’s tongue as the girl licks her lips. She surrenders completely when Lexa pushes her down and steals her clothes, leaving her bare. Though she doesn’t complain at all when brown locks lower between her legs, where she needs the girl the most.

“Lexa!” Clarke moans loudly, waking up, gasping and gripping her sheets. “Fuck,” she whispers. It felt so real to her and she doesn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved that she was just dreaming and nothing more. “Maybe sending that bouquet of roses wasn’t such a good idea,” she mumbles, unable to get Lexa out of her mind. She sighs and gets up, aware that her panties are ruined.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning, baby,” Clarke whispers sweetly, waking Aden up. “Rise and shine.” She lifts him up and smiles softly.

“Mommy,” Aden sleepily mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

Clarke has been looking forward to this day and yet at the same time she has been dreading it. She knows Aden can’t always stay her baby, considering he is growing up. It is nearing the end of March and her son is barely two weeks shy of being two years and a half old. There are only three months left of this school year and she considered continuing letting Aden go to the daycare, but she figured it might be better to let him go now, so he can start getting used to it.

“I want milk,” Aden says with a whiny tone. “Please, mommy.”

“I know, sweetie,” Clarke says. “I’m going to get your milk right away.” She walks to the kitchen and prepares his breakfast along with her own. “This backpack is all for you,” she says as she hands him a superman backpack.

Aden squeals happily and puts his arms through the loops to try it.

Clarke smiles at Aden throughout their breakfast time and she wonders how he will take it now that he won’t be going to the daycare anymore. It is possible that her son will miss Niylah and she hopes he will like his teacher and make a lot of friends. Once Aden is done eating, she dresses him so they’re ready to go.

When they’re outside and have to cross a street, Aden looks to his left, then to his right and to his left again to watch out for cars.

“You’re my smart little man,” Clarke says proudly. “Okay, let’s go,” she says, grasping his hand and crossing the street.

“Ni-Ni?” Aden asks confused when they stop in front of a school building instead of at the daycare.

Clarke shakes her head and crouches down, taking Aden’s chin in her hand. “Today you’re going to school,” she explains. “Like mommy.” She kisses her son’s cheek and hugs him. “I’ll go with you to the teacher before I go.”

Aden shakes his head and takes a step back.

“You don’t want me to go with you?” Clarke asks, tilting her head to look at Aden.

“I’m a man.”

“Oh, I see,” Clarke chuckles, smiling. “Can I get a hug, little man?”

Aden smiles and flings his tiny arms around Clarke’s neck.

Clarke hugs him tightly and finds it difficult to let Aden go. She’s so proud of how well her son is handling this and she should be strong for him, but she’s worried that letting him go might never get any easier. “I’ll pick you up after school,” she promises, kissing his cheek. “Bye, Aden.”

“Bye, mommy,” Aden says, waving at her.

Clarke watches Aden turning around and walking towards the playground where other toddlers are walking around and playing. She wipes at her eyes with the back of her hands, unable to keep herself from crying.

“First time?”

Clarke turns her face, looking at the young man with brown slightly curly hair and a gentle warm voice. “Yes,” she answers, pointing at Aden. “That’s my son, Aden.”

“It gets easier over time,” the man says. He points at a little girl with brown curly hair. “That’s my daughter over there. She has been going to this school for three months.” He politely holds his hand out. “I’m Bellamy,” he says, introducing himself. “Bellamy Blake.”

Clarke shakes his hand. “I’m Clarke,” she says, introducing herself. “Clarke Griffin.” She eyes Bellamy curiously and wonders. “Are you related to Octavia?”

“Octavia is my sister,” Bellamy replies. “You know her?”

“I’m her teacher,” Clarke explains. She didn’t know Octavia has a brother, but truthfully she doesn’t know much about her students.

“My daughter gets along with most children,” Bellamy says. “I think she would get along with Aden, he seems sweet.”

Clarke sees how Aden is showing his backpack to the other children, who are proudly showing theirs in return. She is confident that her son won’t have any trouble to make friends, being such a sweet kid.

“I have to run now, unfortunately,” Bellamy says with an apologetic smile. “You will likely meet my wife, Gina, after school. I drop our daughter off and she picks her up, and I know she’s always eager to meet the other mothers.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” Clarke says with a smile. She looks at her watch and realizes she will be late if she doesn’t make a fast run for it. Grumbling, she starts running, carefully crossing streets. When a light jumps on red, she curses quietly and stomps her feet on the cement, because she doesn’t have the luxury to wait at a red light. She hears the engine of a motorcycle, nearing and pulling to a stop next to her.

Lexa takes her helmet off and lets her hair wave freely. “I was passing by and saw you stomping your feet,” she says amusedly, explaining why she pulled over. She holds her spare helmet out to Clarke, thanking the stars that she isn’t giving Octavia a ride today since Ontari was going to pick her up. “Hop on.”

Clarke hesitates to accept the helmet and the ride from Lexa. “I’ve seen you driving before,” she says, remembering those moments all too well. “You’re fast.” She decides not say reckless because she doesn’t want to offend the girl.

“Are you going to hop on or would you rather be late and out of breath?”

Clarke puts the helmet on and holds her breath when Lexa’s fingers brush against her skin, to check if she put the helmet on correctly. She climbs on the motorcycle, trying to find her balance.

Lexa reaches behind herself and grabs Clarke’s hands, moving them forward to rest on her stomach. “Hold on tight,” she instructs, warning the blonde. She smirks and puts the vision of her helmet down. “When I lean, you have to lean with me,” she explains, considering otherwise taking turns won’t go smoothly. She feels Clarke’s arms tightening around her waist, making her wonder if she’s afraid. “Do you trust me, Clarke?”

“I hopped onto your motorcycle and you ask me if I trust you?” Clarke answers, asking herself if Lexa is being serious. “Are you kidding me?” If that’s not a clear sign of trust then she doesn’t know what is, especially since she never thought she’d find herself on a motorcycle.

Lexa laughs and lets her engine roar loudly. “You’re so feisty, I love it,” she mumbles.

“What?” Clarke asks, trying to shout above the sound of the engine. “I didn’t hear you, what did you say?”

“I said hold on tight,” Lexa shouts back. “I’m going to set a new record.”

“You’re not seriously going to set-” Before Clarke can even finish her sentence, Lexa pulls up and zigzags between the traffic. “Lexa!!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, the bouquet was from Clarke. Her dreams are so very helpful to get Lexa out of her mind.


	32. Sticky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;)

“You’re not going to kiss the ground, are you?” Lexa asks teasingly, seeing how Clarke drops onto her knees right as she parks her motorcycle at the parking lot of their school. She casually looks at her watch. “I only broke my record by a minute, damn. Better next time.”

Clarke takes a deep breath and gets up, glancing at her watch. She’s right on time, so that’s a relief. “Thank you for the ride,” she says gratefully. It was quite scary how fast Lexa was going and how much she had to hold on to the girl.

“Anytime,” Lexa replies with a wink. She looks at the way Clarke’s ass moves as she walks away, now there’s a sight she needs more of.

“Whoa,” Octavia says, running up to Lexa with Ontari and Lola. “Did we just see what we saw?”

“I think we did,” Ontari says, smirking.  

“It’s no big deal,” Lexa says, brushing it off. “I saw her on my way to school, obviously about to be late, so I offered her a ride,” she explains. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Commander hearteyes,” Octavia says teasingly. “Helping out the damsel in distress.”

“How was your Valentine’s Day with Lincoln?” Lexa asks curiously, tactically selecting that topic.

“Fuck no,” Ontari groans, seeing Octavia light up like a house decorated with Christmas lights. “Here we go,” she sighs. “Now you’ve done it, Lex.”

“It was AH-MA-ZING!” Octavia shouts excitedly with the biggest smile on her face. “He took me to a really nice place to eat and there was a little table, reserved for us,” she says happily. “Lincoln was being such a gentleman. He pulled my chair back for me, helped me to select drinks and it was just… wow.”

“Aww that’s sweet,” Lexa says, feeling happy for Octavia. “I’m happy you had fun while I was getting rid of a room full of balloons aka the spit of y’all.”

Octavia laughs. “It was nice of Anya to help us with that,” she comments.

Ontari makes a signal with her index finger, moving it across her neck as if she’d slit it. She loves her friends, but right now she needs Octavia to shut up.

“Anya what??” Lexa asks shocked. “That bitch, just wait until I get home today.” She’ll get her revenge on her cousin for plotting against her.

“Gotta love family,” Ontari mocks.

“I’ll deal with you two later,” Lexa promises, informing them that they won’t get away with it so easily.

“Uh oh,” Octavia says, grinning. “Lincoln kissed me,” she announces, hoping to switch the topic like Lexa had done before.

“You two hit it off then?” Lexa asks, slightly surprised. “Looks like you turning eighteen first is off the table.”

“Yup,” Octavia confirms proudly. “We’re keeping it on the down low though, so I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell anyone,” she says, holding her pinkies out. “Pinkie promise?”

“What the actual fuck,” Ontari says bluntly. “Ugh, okay,” she groans, locking her pinkie with Octavia’s. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Lexa promises, locking her pinkie with Octavia’s. “Oh shit, the bell,” she curses when the school bell rings.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone,” Lola says with a smile. “I’ll see you at lunch,” she whispers to Ontari, kissing her sweetly.

Ontari hugs Lola tightly and kisses her, sighing as her girlfriend runs off to go to her own class. “Three months and then we graduate,” she says, disbelievingly. “It’s crazy how fast this year is going.”

“College is going to be good,” Octavia says, looking forward to it more and more as time goes on. “I’ll be relieved to be away from my family. Finally I’ll be able to do whatever I want.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I only have two hours,” Raven says before taking a bite out of her sandwich. “Then I have to teach my class.”

“I know, babe,” Anya replies, twisting her key to start the car. She doesn’t like it when someone eats in the car, but this is an exception since Raven is on her lunch break. “I’ll try to bring you back on time. I don’t know how long it’ll take.”

“It’s surprising the agency called so early,” Raven says, still processing her surprise. “I hope nothing is wrong.”

“It could be good news,” Anya says, trying to be positive. “We don’t know for sure.”

“I don’t mean to be a downer, I’m just a bit worried because they called so fast,” Raven explains, thinking about how it’s only been a few weeks. Not that she’d want the agency to be slow of course, but perhaps they’re suddenly declined for some reason. “It’s nice of you to pick me up.”

“I wouldn’t want to do this without you,” Anya says, ensuring that it’s out of the question to go alone. “We’re in this together, you and me.”

Raven tries not to crumble much in the car as she eats her lunch. She’s relieved that the drive will only take ten minutes. Before leaving she did inform the principal, in case she wouldn’t be back on time. She has her lunch break for an hour, plus a free hour where she doesn’t have a class to teach.

Anya parks the car once they arrive. She locks her fingers with Raven’s, entering the agency together.

“Hello,” the lady from the agency says politely. “Please, sit,” she says, inviting them to take a seat.

“Hello,” Anya and Raven both say, shaking her hand before taking a seat.

“I hope it isn’t convenient I called you both over on such a short notice,” the lady says with a friendly smile. “Someone else dropped their appointment this morning,” she explains, excusing herself.

“It’s not an inconvenience at all,” Anya says, although she personally has a free day while Raven doesn’t, but she knows her girlfriend wouldn’t want to pass this opportunity up.

“We’re happy you called,” Raven says, agreeing with Anya.

“I have good news for you both,” the lady says. She slides a picture towards Raven and Anya. “This is Riley, eleven months old, from Spain.”

Raven and Anya look at the picture, seeing a little girl with dark brown eyes and brown hair.

“She looks beautiful,” Raven says with adoration in her eyes.

“If you’re both willing to adopt her, I can have the paperwork ready in two months,” the lady explains kindly. “After that Riley will be all yours to take home.”

“Yes,” Anya says without hesitation. She glances at Raven, who is giving her a loving look. “We want to adopt her,” she confirms.

“I’m so happy,” Raven says, nearly tearing up. “I didn’t think we would be able to adopt a child so soon, this is amazing.”

“You can keep the picture,” the lady of agency says. “Usually people cannot adopt a child on such a short notice, but this time there were certain circumstances which made it possible,” she explains. “She has been declined by another couple who wants a younger child and in Riley’s case, it has been requested at least one parent needs to have Spanish blood,” she says while looking at Raven.

Raven and Anya are both surprised to hear another couple declined Riley for being too old, considering how young the little girl is.

“Thank you,” Raven says, speaking from the bottom of her heart. “We truly appreciate it that you thought of us to adopt this beautiful little girl.”

Anya realizes that all of this means that they would have a child around June, which is sooner than they counted on, but it’s good. Knowing Riley’s age, she can buy clothes for her with Raven.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Don’t even think about what you’re thinking,” Ontari grumbles, warning her friends.

“You have no idea what I’m thinking, Ri,” Lexa replies dryly. “Maybe I’m just thinking about girls.”

“Y’all know I hate April Fools,” Ontari says, already in a grumpy mood.

“Liar,” Octavia says, laughing lightly. “You love April Fools,” she corrects Ontari. “The only thing you hate is when someone pulls a prank on you.”

“We can all chill,” Lexa says calmly. “We’ll make a pact again like we did last year,” she suggests. Last year they made a deal that they weren’t allowed to pull pranks on each other, only on others.

“Now we’re talking,” Ontari readily agrees. “This year that goes for you as well,” she says to Lola, Trisha and Emori.

“What’s the pact?” Emori asks. “I’ll agree once I know what I’m agreeing on.”

“The pact simply means we’re not allowed to pull pranks on each other,” Lexa explains. “You can still prank others as much as you please though.”

“I’m fine with that,” Trisha says.

“Me too,” Emori chimes in. “It sounds like a good pact.”

“Then I guess I’ll agree as well,” Lola says. “Are we going to prank anyone together?” she asks curiously. “Em, Tris and I pranked a few students and a teacher last year.”

“Miss Reyes wasn’t too happy about it,” Emori says, laughing at the memory. “She gave us detention.”

“Tsk, amateurs,” Ontari says bluntly. “You’re not supposed to get caught.”

“It was my fault,” Emori clarifies, taking the blame. “I like to leave my signature.”

“On second thought, you’re not amateurs,” Ontari says, smirking at what Emori said. “I dig your style.”

Octavia whistles and nudges Emori with her elbow. “You’ve impressed Ri, good job,” she says with a serious tone.

“You can all prank any teacher and student you’d like,” Lexa says. “Anyone, but not Miss Griffin,” she adds, holding her index finger up as a warning.

“Ugh Lex, come on,” Ontari groans. “This is her first year as a teacher, which makes her pretty much on top of our prank list,” she says, wanting to stick to their habits.

“It’ll only be a prank,” Octavia says, agreeing with Ontari. “Nothing serious.”

Lexa is resolute in her decision and doesn’t plan to change her mind. She knows that new teachers get the worst pranks and by worst she means pranks of the embarrassing kind. “Miss Griffin is my friend,” she says, standing her ground. “That means she’s a part of our pact.”

“You say that because you’re into her,” Ontari says bluntly. “Fine, we can prank other people. She won’t be free of pranking though,” she says thoughtfully. “Just cuz we won’t prank her doesn’t mean nobody else would.”

Lexa knows that’s true, which is unfortunate. She can only hope that other students wouldn’t take it further than a small innocent prank. It wouldn’t have felt right if it would come from her own friends, so at least that’s out of the way. If it was up to her, she would scratch this day altogether. This morning her coffee was ruined because Anya had poured salt in it as a joke, which was rude and not funny to her.

“Are you in to prank Miss Reyes?” Ontari asks Lexa, brewing ideas in her mind.

Lexa thinks about how Raven had woken her up in the middle of the night and had made her believe she was about to be late for school. That sneaky woman had even changed the time on her clock, which made it believable up until the point where Raven burst out laughing when she had hurried to go to the bathroom. “I’m in,” she answers with an evil smile.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning, students,” Raven says with a chipper tone.

“Good morning, Miss Reyes.”

Raven looks around and is confused when she doesn’t see Lexa, because she’s sure the girl left to go to school and should be here. “Does anyone know where Lexa is?” she asks her students, though she looks at Ontari and Octavia, knowing well enough they’re Lexa’s best friends.

“She’s at the nurse,” Octavia lies, sighing and trying to look as concerned as possible. “When she arrived at school she seemed really exhausted,” she explains, continuing the lie, which was Lexa’s idea.

“We asked her if she was okay,” Ontari says, lying as well. “She said she didn’t sleep much and then she just collapsed.”

Raven squeezes the edge of her desk and she feels guilty that she woke Lexa up in the middle of the night, therefore robbing her from a decent sleep. She didn’t mean for the girl to collapse and she can already guess Anya won’t be happy at all when she hears about this, which she inevitably will.

“I hope her leg isn’t broken,” Octavia says sadly.

“What happened to her leg?” Raven asks, growing more concerned.

“Lexa was parking her motorcycle,” Ontari explains. “When she collapsed, the weight of her motorcycle fell on her leg.”

Raven gasps and she hopes Lexa will be okay. It’s all her fault that this happened. “I’ll be right back, students,” she says, walking up to the door. She needs to have a word with the school nurse and see Lexa, to know how bad it is and if a hospital is needed. “Remain calm,” she instructs them, before hurrying down the hall.

Ontari smirks when five seconds later Lexa walks into the classroom and locks the door.

“Hello, students,” Lexa says, grabbing the ruler. She sits down on top of Raven’s desk and looks around the classroom, seeing some shocked expressions, while others are grinning. “Today I will teach you stuff.”

“We will get in trouble,” Costia says, speaking up. “Miss Reyes won’t like this.”

“I didn’t like having my sleep ruined,” Lexa retorts dryly. “An eye for an eye,” she says warningly. “Lesson one, if you mess with me, you will regret it.”

“You tell them, commander,” Octavia says, cheering Lexa on while it lasts.

“Lesson two,” Lexa goes on. “If you mess with my friends, you’ll also regret it.”

“How long do you think we’ll get detention for?” Octavia asks Ontari.

“Probably for a month,” Ontari guesses. She hears banging on the door while Miss Reyes shouts things. “Make it two.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“They really did that?” Clarke asks during her lunch break in the teachers’ lounge. She’s shocked when Raven nods, confirming that what she just said wasn’t a joke. “All that happened in my class was that someone took all the pieces of chalk away.”

“I must say that’s extremely mild,” Raven says, aware of how bad pranks are for new teachers. “Did you get the chalk back?”

“I did, directly after I said I’d make them write a thousand words essay if they wouldn’t.”

“That’s good,” Raven says approvingly. “They will respect you.” She pours herself a cup of coffee, thinking back about her crazy morning. It was a close call or she’d have needed to kick the door in if Lexa wouldn’t have opened it. “You have the seniors after our break, good luck with them.”

Clarke hopes that the students will behave, but after hearing what happened in Raven’s class she might as well expect the worst. It sounds extreme to her that Lexa and her friends went so far to prank Raven, although when her friend explained how she pranked the girl by waking her up in the middle of the night, she can assume Lexa might have been taking revenge. Personally she wouldn’t appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night either, but she wouldn’t go to such lengths to get back at someone.

“Maybe it won’t even be so bad,” Raven reasons. “Which students hid your chalk? Emori and co?” she asks, knowing Emori, Trisha and Lola are a bit rebels at times.

“It was Jasper and Monty,” Clarke answers. “Emori, Trisha and Lola behaved surprisingly well actually.”

“Perhaps I’ll survive my afternoon then,” Raven says with a smile. She can handle Jasper and Monty, because they’re mostly innocent. “I have a spare package of chalks in my briefcase.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa sees another student putting glue on Clarke’s chair and when Miss Griffin walks in, about to take her seat, she hurries to sit down. “My chair,” she says with a light tone. She could have spoken up and said something about the glue, but there wasn’t much time and the other students would probably wonder why she would do that, so sitting down, pretending to do this as a prank seems better.

“Lexa,” Clarke warns, not wanting any shenanigans. “Get up and go sit on your own chair.”

Lexa carefully tries to move up, but her pants are stuck to the chair due to the glue. “I can’t,” she whispers quietly. “I’m stuck.” She’s slightly frustrated that it’s strong glue, but she doesn’t let it show.

Clarke is about to comment again when she sees a box that belongs to glue and she realizes what happened. One of her students must have put glue on her chair and then Lexa moved to sit on it without knowing, perhaps wanting to play teacher in her class like she tried to do in Raven’s class. She sighs deeply and leans against her desk. “I’ll deal with you after class,” she whispers to Lexa.

Octavia shares a shocked look with Ontari, having seen exactly what happened and how Lexa sat down to glue herself to the chair rather than having Miss Griffin being stuck to it.

“Who put glue on the chair?” Clarke asks her students, crossing her arms in front of her. She waits, but nobody speaks up. “Well?” she asks, still waiting.

“Ouch!” one of the guys hisses loudly when a book hits the back of his head.

Ontari grabs Octavia’s book and throws that at the guy’s head as well, angry because he’s the one who put the glue on the chair.

“Students!” Clarke warns, reprimanding them. “I do not want any shenanigans,” she says with a strong tone in her voice. “If you do not behave you will receive detention until you graduate.”

Lexa likes it when Clarke is strict like that, because it makes her fantasies run wild. She knows she’s going to be in trouble, but it’s worth it considering she could save the blonde the embarrassment.

“Ontari keeps hitting me with books!” the guy complains. “Just because her best friend is the one who sat down in the glue!”

“You,” Clarke says, pointing at the guy. “To the principal’s office right now.” She’s not going to let him get away with this, because it is not a prank she finds amusing in any way. “Ontari, consider yourself warned. Throwing books or other things for that matter, is not okay.”

When the class is over, Ontari storms outside, muttering expletives. Octavia glances at Lexa for a moment and then follows Ontari outside.

Clarke closes the door for a moment and looks at Lexa. “This is what you get from shenanigans,” she says calmly. She sighs deeply and wonders what she’ll do now. “We have to get you out this chair.”

“I can’t get up unless I rip my pants,” Lexa says, realizing how stuck her pants are to the chair. She holds her hands out. “A little help?” she asks with a neutral expression on her face. It’s fine if other students would tease her or something because she sat down in glue and got stuck, because all she cares about is that Clarke wouldn’t have to go through that.

Clarke grabs Lexa’s hands, ready to pull. “Okay, on the count of three,” she says. “Tell me to stop if I’m hurting you though,” she adds thoughtfully. “One… two… three.”

Lexa mentally curses when she hears the fabric of her pants ripping. She nearly topples over with Clarke due to the strength of her pull, but she steadies the blonde and herself before they can fall. “Thanks,” she says softly.

Clarke grabs the jacket she took with her and ties it around Lexa’s waist, to hide the part where the girl’s pants are ripped. She thinks about how Ontari got angry at the boy who used the glue, which makes her realize Ontari must have seen what he did and if she saw that means… “Lexa,” she says, frowning just as Lexa is about to leave.

Lexa slowly turns around, noticing how confused Clarke looks. “Yes, Clarke?”

Clarke sighs and leans against her desk. “Did you know about the glue?” she asks, having a strong suspicion Lexa did, the more she thinks of it.

Lexa smiles faintly and walks away.

 


	33. Sick

“I know,” Lexa whispers when Tiger meows as she puts him in a cage. “I’ll let you out soon.”

“Lexa?” Anya asks. “What are you doing with Tiger?”

“I’ll take him to Ontari’s place,” Lexa says, a bit sad. “Aden is allergic and maybe Riley will be allergic as well,” she explains. She doesn’t have to keep Aden’s allergy a secret, since Clarke already told Anya and Raven about his allergy and then they told her, as if she didn’t know yet. “I can visit Tiger as much as I like and I hang out a lot at her place anyway.”

“Are you sure that this is what you want?”

“Yes, Anya,” Lexa says, picking Tiger’s cage up. “I’ll be back in a bit to help with the furniture.”

Raven wipes her forehead to get rid of the droplets of sweat, caused by the closet she’s been putting together. “All help is welcome,” she says, appreciating it that Lexa will be helping.

Anya stares at Raven when she sees her taking her top off, revealing a black sports bra and her girlfriend’s toned stomach. She loves the way Raven looks in her shorts that reach to right above her knees, the sports bra and the way her hair is neatly tied together.

“Damn, I didn’t leave yet and you’re already stripping,” Lexa says teasingly. “Don’t stop on my accord, while you’re at it.”

“Contain your gayness,” Anya comments. She knows Raven is smoking hot and she’s not surprised that Lexa teases in certain ways with an eye for her girlfriend’s natural beauty, but that doesn’t make it any less awkward.

“No can do,” Lexa replies with a smile. “Bad example at home,” she muses, winking at her cousin. She ducks when Anya throws a bottle of water at her. “Just so you know, I will be back in an hour, tops,” she warns before heading out towards Ontari’s place in case they want to get up to something.

Ontari opens the door, letting Lexa in. “I thought you weren’t serious at first,” she whispers, accepting the cage and letting Tiger out of it. “Are you doing this so she’d visit again?”

“That’s not..,” Lexa begins, but she knows Ontari has known her for a long time. “That’s not the only reason,” she whispers softly. “I want Aden around as well, I like that kid and there’s a chance Riley would be allergic, so there you go.”

“Hmm, well I guess it’s possible Riley could be allergic,” Ontari says thoughtfully. “It’s not sure though and when it comes to Aden, he doesn’t even live at your place.”

“I know that he doesn’t live at my place, but Clarke is far too worried to have him at my place, just in case his allergy would get bad.”

“You really, really like her and that kid a lot if you’re doing all that stuff for them,” Ontari says, surprised and impressed. She’s never seen Lexa being so strongly into someone before to go through all this trouble. “I still can’t believe you sat down in glue for her.”

“You hit that guy pretty hard with those books,” Lexa says, laughing a little. She knows her friends always have her back and of course it was Ontari who got angry enough to throw books.

“He had it coming,” Ontari says groggily. “You ripped your pants that day and you would have taken the punishment too, wouldn’t you?” she asks knowingly. “You’re in so deep.”

“If she had sat down in it, every student at our school would have found out about it in a record time and I don’t want her to be embarrassed.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke smiles when Aden coos and hurries to go play with the friends he made. Her son has been going to school for a month now and he’s been doing really well. Every day after school, Aden babbles about his teacher and his friends. She can hardly believe that in two months, this school year will be over and the summer break will begin.

“He’s so adorable,” Raven says, smiling. “One more month and then Anya and I will have Riley,” she whispers, looking forward to that day.

“I appreciate it that you’re walking with me,” Clarke says gratefully. “Riley is one year old now, right?”

“Yes, she is,” Raven confirms. “It’s a shame we don’t get to celebrate her first birthday.”

“You could celebrate her birthday in a month,” Clarke suggests. “You’re planning some type of baby shower right?”

“Kind of,” Raven says, not fully agreeing. “It’ll be a small party to welcome her home.” She has been planning it with Anya for about a week now. “You should come over with Aden,” she says, inviting Clarke.

“I’d love to, but I don’t want to risk it,” Clarke says regretfully. “With Aden’s allergy I’d rather not have him around a cat.” She knows Aden has been there before and seemed fine, but ever since her mother told her about his allergy, she doesn’t want to risk it.

“Oh there is no cat anymore,” Raven says casually, informing Clarke. “Lexa brought him to Ontari’s place, in case Riley would be allergic or something.”

“You and Anya made her get rid of her cat?” Clarke asks, shocked. “I know Aden is allergic, but that doesn’t necessarily mean Riley would be too.”

“We didn’t,” Raven clarifies. “It was Lexa’s idea, not ours,” she corrects Clarke. “Anya and I would have been fine with Lexa keeping her cat.”

“Oh,” Clarke says, surprised. She didn’t think Lexa would give up her cat like that, especially not by her own choice. It’s impressive to see and hear how selfless the girl has been, first with the glue incident and now with her cat. It doesn’t help her to get Lexa out of her mind, because as time passes, she only likes the girl more and more.

“Is that a yes then?” Raven asks hopefully. “Anya and I would love it if you’d come over with Aden.”

“I’ll be there,” Clarke promises. “A month from now?”

“Yes, in a month from now. That’s when we’ll finally be able to adopt Riley. It should be the ending of May or the beginning of June, something like that.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, Lex,” Ontari says, nudging her friend lightly. “You aight?” she asks, concerned as she sees how pale Lexa looks.

“I’m fine,” Lexa mumbles, closing her eyelids for a moment because they feel heavy.

“Are you sure?” Ontari asks, not believing Lexa is fine. “You’ve got like… no color in your face.”

“Ri is right,” Octavia agrees. “You don’t look so well.”

“How flattering,” Lexa says wryly. “I’m probably just bit tired.”

Octavia and Ontari want to question Lexa further, but the school bell rings.

With each step Lexa takes it feels as if she has lead in her shoes, weighing her down. She slumps behind her desk and sits down, sighing in relief now that she’s not standing anymore. It’s a warm day and yet she feels quite cold, as if it would be winter.

“Good morning, students,” Clarke says, watching them all enter her classroom.

“Good morning, Miss Griffin.”

Clarke notices Lexa putting her head down on her desk, along with a few other students doing the same. “No sleeping in my class, please,” she says strictly. When the girl moves her head up, she’s concerned to see how pale Lexa is. “Open your books,” she instructs her students. “On page two-hundred-and –five you’ll see a few practice questions. You get half an hour to answer those. Consider it a small practice for your upcoming finals.”

Lexa slowly opens her book and reads the first question. She’s about to pen down an answer when she sees a hand on her desk and as she looks up she stares directly into Clarke’s blue orbs.

Clarke bends down a bit to be at eye-level with Lexa. “Are you okay?” she asks quietly.

“Mhm,” Lexa hums lightly. Her eyes flutter shut for a second and when she opens them, she feels dizzy. She puts her pen down when her hands shake due to being cold.

Clarke places her hand on Lexa’s forehead. “Oh dear,” she whispers softly. “You’re burning up.” She sees the girl shiver and concludes Lexa may have a cold fever.

“I’m fine, Miss Griffin,” Lexa whispers, although she barely believes her own words.

“Octavia,” Clarke calls out, tapping the desk next to Lexa’s where Octavia is seated.

Octavia looks up from her book. “Yes, Miss Griffin?” she asks, tilting her head a little.

“Give me a hand,” Clarke instructs, pointing at Lexa.

“Oh,” Octavia says, making the connection and quickly closing her book. “Of course.” She scrambles up from her chair and grabs Lexa’s right arm, helping her up.

Clarke gently grabs a hold of Lexa’s left arm. “I want you all to continue in silence,” she instructs her students. “Follow me,” she whispers to Octavia. She can visibly see Lexa shaking and doesn’t want to risk having the girl collapse.

Octavia carefully maneuvers through the door of the class. “Fuck,” she curses quietly when Lexa hangs down.

“I can’t,” Lexa mumbles, barely coherent.

Clarke places her arms around Lexa’s waist to prevent the girl from falling.

Octavia groans and tries to pull Lexa back up, but she can see her friend isn’t doing well. She’s baffled when Miss Griffin suddenly scoops Lexa up in her arms.

“Go to the school nurse,” Clarke instructs Octavia while hoisting Lexa a bit more into her arms. She’s relieved that the girl isn’t heavy and that she doesn’t have to walk far. “Open the door and leave it open for me.”

“Right on, Miss Griffin,” Octavia says, hurrying off to the school nurse. She’s so going to tell Ontari what Miss Griffin did once she’s back in class.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers softly, wanting to see if she’ll get a reaction from the girl. “I got you. You’re going to be okay.”

Lexa tries to open her eyes, but regrets it immediately when she sees everything spinning, hurting her head and forcing her to close her eyes again. She can feel someone is carrying her, but it’s all vague and she has no energy left. When she woke up this morning, she didn’t feel well, but she decided to go to school and try anyway.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Her guardian is on her way,” Miss Vie says after hanging up the phone. “She shouldn’t have come to school today, she’s clearly ill.”

“She said she was fine,” Octavia says. “I could tell she wasn’t though, but she can be stubborn and she’s strong.”

“I have to go back to my class,” Clarke says, aware her students will be waiting and she shouldn’t leave them alone too long. “Octavia, I want you back in class once her guardian has picked her up.”

“I can stay with her?” Octavia asks surprised. “Okay sure, I’ll come to class after Anya picks her up.”

Clarke would have sent Octavia to class directly, but she’s curious to see how long it’ll take for Lexa to be picked up. She looks briefly at the girl, who has a blanket draped over her before walking away.

“Always stubborn,” Octavia whispers to Lexa. She holds her friend’s hand and squeezes gently, waiting for Anya to arrive.

Miss Vie is quickly distracted by other students walking in.

“Clarke carried you here,” Octavia whispers when Lexa opens her eyes. She smiles when her friend smiles faintly at her. “Even when you’re sick, you still got it.”

“Did anyone else see?” Lexa asks quietly. She had her eyes closed for most of the time, so she can’t be sure.

“Nah, not really,” Octavia replies. “I saw and Miss Vie saw, that’s it,” she explains. “I’m so telling Ri though,” she adds with a grin on her face.

Lexa chuckles silently, but it turns into a cough. She’s not at all surprised that Octavia plans to tell Ontari about that, considering how great her friends are.

“I’m here,” Anya says, out of breath as she walks through the door. “Thank you for calling me,” she says to the school nurse.

“I’ll help you bring her to the car,” Octavia offers, slinging one of Lexa’s arms over her shoulder.

Anya slings Lexa’s other arm over her shoulder, walking slowly towards her car at the parking lot.

“Take good care of her,” Octavia instructs Anya, still concerned about Lexa.

“I will,” Anya promises with a smile. “Thank you for helping.”

Lexa is a bit sad to be going home, but considering she’s not well this is for the best. It’s a shame to miss Clarke’s class, especially with the finals closing in, for which she hopes to get good grades. Next year for college, she wants to get accepted into Polis and she knows her friends want the same. It’s the biggest college in the country and it’s about four hours away from home, which is a bit unfortunate.

“I already called a doctor,” Anya says while she starts her car. “She will come over in an hour to see what’s going on and to write you a note for school.”

Lexa groans at the prospect of having a doctor coming over, although she knows it is necessary and at least it’s a female, so that was considerate of her cousin. She appreciates how Anya helps her to get into her bedroom, so she can lie down.

“My cousin is here in her room,” Anya says to the doctor, pointing at Lexa’s room.

Lexa frowns when she sees the doctor, recognizing her from the hospital. “Didn’t I see you at the hospital?” she asks, wondering.

“Yes, I’m Abby,” Abby replies. “I do work at the hospital and I also part-time visit patients,” she explains. It confuses her how this girl is a student, which makes her wonder why her daughter came to the hospital with this girl to get Aden’s results weeks ago. “Where do you know Clarke from? How old are you? Seventeen? Eighteen? …Sixteen?”

“Umm, doctor,” Lexa says, confused and wondering why Abby is so nosy. “I thought you were here because I’m sick, not to interrogate me.” This is by far the most unusual thing she experienced with a doctor. Her age plays no role in this and she owes no obligations whatsoever to inform this doctor that she’s eighteen.

“I will write you a note for school and some medicine for your fever.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

“Be careful,” Abby warns and she wishes she would have said the same to Clarke. After all these years, her daughter is still making mistakes and frankly she doesn’t even want to know what Clarke is up to with this student. She narrows her eyes at the girl. “Be _very_ careful.”

“Umm,” Lexa says, frowning and wondering what the hell is up with this doctor. “Don’t you mean take care?” she asks, correcting Abby. “Or take it easy or something?”

“No,” Abby says curtly. “I meant precisely what I said.”

“Get out,” Lexa growls with a cold tone, getting defensive. “Get out, now.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Anya says, running in Lexa’s room after hearing how angry her cousin sounds. “What’s going on?”

“She’s threatening me,” Lexa says, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t know what her problem is.”

“I believe-”

“Get out,” Anya says coldly. She grabs the note from the doctor and slams the money she owes her in her hand. “Threaten my cousin again and I’ll cut you,” she warns, reaching out for her phone. “And you can bet your ass I will report your unprofessional behavior.”

Abby looks absolutely godsmacked and realizes she made a grief mistake with her unprofessional behavior. The worst part is that she has no evidence whatsoever that this student would be romantically and or sexually involved with her daughter, so all she has is an accusation based on the fact she saw the girl once with Clarke at the hospital. For all she knows this girl may be Aden’s babysitter and could have been there to offer moral support, which may have been the reason why her daughter introduced her as a friend. She has never felt so deeply ashamed about her actions before.

Lexa is relieved that Anya stood up for her and she’s glad to see the doctor leave, unknowing what got into that woman to be such a bitch towards her.

Anya sits down on Lexa’s bed, pulling her into a hug. “You okay?” she asks worriedly, stroking her cousin’s hair.

“I’m sick and you ask if I’m okay?” Lexa asks amusedly. “Thank you for believing me and speaking up for me.”

“We’re family, it’s what we do.”

 


	34. Here comes trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;)

“Lessa!!” Aden shouts happily. “I missed you, Lessa,” he says with a cutesy tone in his voice. He opens his arms and runs up to Lexa.

Lexa smiles and embraces Aden for a hug. “I missed you too, little buddy,” she says sweetly. It’s weekend now and her health is back to normal. Raven had already told her Clarke and Aden would visit for a few hours if she wouldn’t mind, and of course she doesn’t mind.

“Hello, Lexa,” Clarke says kindly, happy to see Lexa healthy. “Feeling better?” she asks hopefully.

“Hey,” Lexa replies, briefly greeting Clarke back. “Yeah, much better,” she says with a smile. “It’s a shame I missed your class this week though.” Having to rest in bed hadn’t been easy and each morning she tried to convince Anya she was fine to go to school, to no avail because her cousin wasn’t having any of her excuses.

“Did Octavia bring you everything?” Clarke asks, considering how she gave Octavia Lexa’s homework and notes she made during class for her, since the girl wasn’t there to write down notes herself.

“Yes, she did,” Lexa answers, confirming. “I appreciate the notes you made.” She sure hasn’t forgotten how Anya dropped all the notes and homework in her bedroom, while telling her that if she missed school so much she could have fun with those.

“My notes?” Clarke asks, pretending like she didn’t make them.

Lexa smiles at Clarke’s fake innocence. “First of all, my friends don’t write the way you do and secondly, Octavia told me you wrote them,” she says with a short tone, but not cold.

Clarke chuckles lightly and holds her hands up. “Okay, I’m busted,” she admits. “The notes will help you to study for your finals, they’re crucial,” she explains.

“Good to know,” Lexa replies. It’s good that she kept the notes and didn’t throw them away or something, since she normally prefers to take her own notes.

“If you want I can tutor you about what you missed, so you can catch up,” Clarke blurts out, without putting much thought to her words. In all fairness she doesn’t want Lexa to fall behind on the others, especially not now that the finals are starting to close in.

Lexa wants to say it isn’t necessary and that she’ll manage to self-study, but then again, it would be lovely to spend time with Clarke. “That would be great,” she says thankfully. “How about every day after school for the upcoming week?” she suggests. “Does that work for you?”

“Every day after school for the upcoming week what?” Anya asks curiously as she walks in, having caught the tail of Lexa’s words. She looks at her cousin and at Clarke, wondering what they were talking about, which was probably something school related.

“I’m planning with Lexa to tutor her,” Clarke explains, to clear up any possible confusion. “Not quite tutoring, but teach her the lessons she has missed this week, so she can be all caught up for the finals,” she clarifies, pressing on the importance of the finals. As her first year as a teacher, it would mean a lot to her if the seniors end up with good grades.

“That sounds like a good plan,” Anya says, relieved to know that Lexa won’t get behind. She knows how important it is for her cousin to do well on her finals to get into Polis. “It’s kind of you to tutor her,” she says gratefully to Clarke, appreciating her efforts. She knows that Clarke has no obligations whatsoever to tutor Lexa and it is kind that she’s offering it.

“Every day after school for a week then?” Lexa asks Clarke, wanting to confirm it. It sounds okay in her ears, to make up for the days she has missed.

“Yes, that’s fine by me,” Clarke decides, agreeing with Lexa’s suggestion. She smiles when Raven walks in. “Hey, I brought a few things with me,” she announces, pointing at the bag she placed on the counter. “It’s not much, just a few things like a baby monitor.”

“Oh thanks,” Raven replies, flashing a pearly white smile. “I’ve been counting down,” she admits, impatient to meet Riley and to have her home.

“I’ll be in the living room with Aden,” Lexa says casually, trying to slip away as unnoticed as possible.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Anya says, grabbing a hold of Lexa’s collar. “You’re going to help us with the finishing touches of Riley’s room.” She’s not going to let her cousin lounge while they do all the work.

“Someone has to watch Aden,” Lexa replies strategically. “I can play with him,” she suggests

“Play,” Aden coos, tugging at Lexa’s pants. “Play, Lessa.”

“You heard the man,” Lexa says, picking Aden up. She knew he wouldn’t let her down once she mentioned playing with him. “Me one point, you zero points.”

“Unbelievable,” Anya chuckles, crossing her arms as Lexa walks towards the living room with Aden.

“She won that round, babe,” Raven laughs.

“The way you support me never ceases to amaze me.”

Clarke watches the interaction between Anya and Raven with a smile on her face, hoping that one day she’ll share this kind of life with someone special. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming and holding on to a spark of hope. What isn’t yet may come in the future.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is halfway through watching Garfield 2 with Aden when she sees Clarke walking in.

Clarke smiles at the way Aden’s head is resting on Lexa’s lap while he watches the movie. She’ll never grow tired of seeing how sweet the girl is towards her son. “Lemonade?” she asks sweetly, holding a glass of lemonade out towards Lexa.

“Mhm,” Lexa hums, accepting the glass from Clarke. “Thank you.” She takes a sip, appreciating the refreshing taste, which is exactly what she needed.

“I’m taking a short break,” Clarke says as she sits down next to Lexa. “Anya and Raven are putting clothes in the closet,” she explains, smiling.

“Ah yes, better to leave them to it,” Lexa says, understanding why Clarke took a break. “They might be busy for a while.”

“How do you feel about a child living here soon?” Clarke asks curiously, aware that it must be quite the change for Lexa. Now that she’s here on the couch taking a break, she might as well strike up a conversation and she can quite enjoy what the girl has to say so she can get to know her more.

“Riley looks cute from the picture I’ve seen,” Lexa recalls. “If she’s at least half as sweet as Aden, then it’ll be fine,” she says confidently. “In a few months I’ll be off to college, so it truly won’t make that much difference who lives here.” Once she’s off to college, Anya and Raven might as well adopt a full house for all she cares, because she won’t be living with them anymore. In the worst case she can crash at Ontari’s place during her summer breaks.

“You had a lot of changes to adapt to,” Clarke says thoughtfully. “Raven moving in, your cat now not being here anymore and now your cousin about to adopt a child with Raven.”

“It’s been quite the year so far,” Lexa admits, agreeing with what Clarke said.

“I look forward to have you in my class again,” Clarke says earnestly, having missed Lexa.

“Do you want to hear something really weird?”

“Okay, what is it?” Clarke asks curiously, turning slowly to face Lexa.

Lexa turns a bit as well, to face Clarke better while Aden is distracted by watching the movie. “The doctor who came over while I was sick was the same one from the hospital,” she says, sharing her experience with the blonde. She already told her friends through texts and they agreed how weird it was. “That one doctor, Abby,” she explains.

Clarke frowns slightly, although it doesn’t sound that weird. “Did something happen?” she asks, guessing there might be more to it.

“I’ll say,” Lexa scoffs, shaking her head at the memory. “I don’t know what her problem was, but she threatened me.”

“She what?” Clarke asks shocked. “She threatened you??”

“I was just as surprised as you are,” Lexa says. “She was interrogating me and it was weird, it made no sense,” she sighs. “She was asking where I know you from and how old I am. I didn’t answer any of her questions, because it isn’t her business. Anyway, when she threatened me, I told her to get out and then Anya walked in and told her to get out as well.”

Clarke clenches her jaw, angry at the way her mother treated Lexa and in this moment it feels like a disgrace to be her daughter. She can’t believe her mother has been so unprofessional and treated the girl so poorly while she was being sick, not that being healthy would suddenly make it okay.

“I think that doctor should get herself examined,” Lexa mocks with a hint of disgust in her voice. “You might not want to trust her medical advice.”

“I’m sorry to hear you’ve been treated that way,” Clarke whispers softly, placing her hand on Lexa’s knee. “If I was a doctor, I would have gladly given you a check-up.”

Lexa swallows hard, imagining Clarke being a doctor, examining every inch of her.

Clarke notices Lexa biting her bottom lip and watches those green eyes shifting from her eyes down to her lips and that’s when it hits her. “I mean..,” she recoils quickly. “Back when I was in college, I was close to choose studies to become a doctor, but I switched my major and chose I wanted to become a teacher,” she explains. “Helping people would have been amazing, but I rather feed young people’s mind to help them grow.” It was another reason why her mother has been so crossed with her. “So what I was trying to say is that if I was a doctor, then I would have been delighted to help you get better.”

Lexa smiles and caresses Clarke’s cheek with the back of her index finger. “That’s really sweet and thoughtful of you,” she says with a seductive tone. “You’re a good teacher, I’ve learned a lot from you and I’m sure there’s more you can teach me.”

Clarke loses herself in Lexa’s eyes and leans in dangerously close. “I can teach you more,” she says huskily. She’s close enough to smell the lemonade the girl just drank, making her gulp. “A lot more.”

“That’s interesting,” Lexa whispers, her lips lightly brushing Clarke’s, almost kissing. She’s so close and she knows exactly what she wants, who she wants. “Do teach me.”

“Perhaps I w-”

They both jump up, startled when they hear Raven and Anya talking about taking a break, along with footsteps towards the kitchen.

Clarke’s heart is beating fast in her chest, feeling as if it’ll explode. She was so close to kiss Lexa, so lost in those green eyes that she was about to lose herself.

Lexa slumps back onto the couch and watches how Clarke walks off towards the kitchen. She lifts Aden up and places him on her lap, facing him. “Your mommy is quite the woman,” she whispers.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you out of your damn mind!?” Clarke shouts angrily.

“Clarke,” Abby says with wide eyes, raising her voice. “Keep it down I don’t want my neighbors to stare.”

Clarke scoffs and pushes the door further open, walking in. “You have no right, mother,” she hisses. “No right!”

Abby crosses her arms and gives Clarke a defiant look. “No right to what?” she asks, ignoring the fact that this may be about her little incident with that sick girl.

“To threaten and harass my friend,” Clarke says angrily. “Don’t play dumb with me,” she goes on, knowing damn well her mother knows precisely what she’s talking about. “What on earth were you thinking to cross the line in such an unprofessional manner?”

“I admit I may have gone a bit too far,” Abby says shamelessly. “My intention was to warn her. She was with you at the hospital and if I had known right then that she is nothing more than a student, I would have spoken up a lot sooner.”

“She is my friend,” Clarke scowls. “You have no right to speak to her the way you did and I do not appreciate your false accusations and whatever it is you’re implying here.”

“I’m trying to keep you away from what could be your next mistake.”

“My next mistake?” Clarke asks disbelievingly. “Please enlighten me, mother,” she says calmly. “Which mistakes have I made?”

“You went against what I advised you,” Abby says dryly, disappointed. “You had so much potential to become a doctor and you threw it all away by choosing differently and you kept Aden.”

“If you want to call my chosen career a mistake, you can go ahead,” Clarke says carelessly. “But  don’t you dare speak to me as if Aden has been a mistake. My son is a smart, beautiful, sweet, passionate child and the fact that you can’t see that is your loss.”

“I’m your mother.”

“Then act like it,” Clarke retorts sharply and merciless. “Leave my friends alone.”

“You shouldn’t turn your back on your life.”

“This is another part where you’re wrong, mother,” Clarke says, shaking her head. “I’m turning my back on you.” She walks out the door and slams it behind her, feeling relieved to have her toxic mother out of her life. It may be cold of her, but people don’t choose their blood and some non-blood-relatives are more of a family to her than her mother has ever been.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, little buddy,” Lexa says with a smile, catching Aden as he jumps into her arms. “I’m happy to see you too.”

“Hi, Lessa,” Aden replies, hugging Lexa closely. “I played at sjool.”

“Oh wow,” Lexa says, trying to sound amazed. “With your awesome superman backpack?” She chuckles when Aden nods heavily. “I bet the other kids don’t have a cool backpack like yours.”

“Ofelia has pink.”

“That sounds lovely,” Lexa says, enjoying how Aden talks. “Who is Ofelia?” she asks Clarke.

Clarke opens her book, ready to tutor Lexa so she can catch up with the other students. “Ofelia is his friend,” she explains, smiling and happy about how many friends Aden has made. “You don’t know her?” she asks, surprised.

Lexa knits her eyebrows together at how Clarke makes it sound as if she would know Ofelia. “No, I don’t,” she replies. “Should I?”

“Ofelia is Bellamy’s daughter,” Clarke explains, but when she sees Lexa’s expression hasn’t changed, she’s confused. She knows the girl is close friends with Octavia. “Bellamy Blake,” she clarifies. “Octavia’s brother.”

“I didn’t know Octavia has a brother,” Lexa says earnestly. Octavia never told her she has any siblings at all, so this is news to her. “She never mentioned him.” She puts Aden down so he can play while Clarke tutors her.

Clarke decides not to go on about that topic since it isn’t really her place and clearly Lexa doesn’t know who Bellamy is. She has met him a few times as she dropped Aden off and he’s a sweet man, in his early thirties and she met his wife a few times as well. “I’ll start with the last page you went through,” she says as she grabs the book.

“Okay,” Lexa replies, leaning back on the couch. She listens closely while Clarke teaches her and she can see and hear how passionate the blonde is to teach. It’s quite inspiring and it makes her wonder about what she’ll be studying in college, since she hasn’t pinpointed anything yet about which major she wants. To become a teacher would definitely be on her list as something she would consider doing.

“Lexa,” Clarke says, putting the book down and eyeing Lexa curiously. “Were you listening? You seemed distracted.”

“I was thinking about college,” Lexa admits. “I’m not sure yet which major I’ll choose. I’ll try to listen better this time, it’s just that you’re so passionate about what you teach and I kind of got distracted at that point.”

“Okay, I understand,” Clarke says with a serious tone. “I will try to sound incredibly dull and boring this time,” she adds with a smile.

Lexa grabs the nearest pillow from the couch and tosses it at Clarke. “You’re still a dork, you know that right?”

Aden laughs when Clarke throws the pillow back at Lexa, hitting her square in the face.

“You think that’s funny, eh?” Lexa asks, lifting Aden up on the couch and tickling him.

“Lessa,” Aden giggles. He tries to crawl away, but Lexa gently pulls him back and tickles him again. “Mommy,” he says, stretching his arms out for her help.

“Now he’s a real man,” Lexa teases. “Asking for his mommy.”

Clarke’s jaw drops. “You did not just say that,” she says. “Okay that does it.” She pushes Lexa down and helps Aden to tickle her.

“Two against one isn’t fair,” Lexa whines playfully, trying to push their hands away.

“Whining like a real woman,” Clarke teases.

“You’re a woman yourself,” Lexa retorts, laughing lightly. “And a dorky one at that.”

“At this rate I may need more than a week to tutor you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't they the cutest? :)


	35. New family member

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

“It’s good to have you around again, Lex,” Octavia says with a smile. She had missed having Lexa around at school and even though she dropped off her homework along with notes, Anya didn’t allow her to actually visit her friend so she wouldn’t get sick.

“We kind of missed you,” Ontari says dryly, not being one to get all emotional and stuff. She already has been sentimental enough for her liking yesterday when Lexa returned to school.

“I missed y’all as well,” Lexa says, smiling at her friends. She knows Ontari missed her more than she would admit and that’s fine. “You live with your mother, right, O?”

“Um yeah,” Octavia answers, frowning. “Why?”

“You never mentioned you have a brother,” Lexa says, cutting right to it. She’s surprised that she had to hear it from Clarke, which makes her wonder why Octavia left that detail out, considering how they tend to tell each other everything. Sometimes it takes a while for them to share secrets, but in all the years she’s known Octavia, she never knew.

“You have a brother?” Ontari asks confused, especially upon seeing the busted look on Octavia’s face. “How do you know that?” she asks Lexa.

“Miss Griffin’s kid is friends with her brother’s kid,” Lexa explains, keeping it as simple as possible. “That’s how I know.”

“Fair enough,” Ontari mumbles. “Your turn, O,” she says dryly. “Spill.”

Octavia sighs and slips her hands in the front pockets of her jeans. “I guess technically I do have a brother,” she begins. “Bellamy is fifteen years older than me. At first we kind of got along, but after a while we didn’t anymore. When I was ten years old I got angry with him because he was acting as if he would be my father and I didn’t like that,” she explains, shuddering at the frustrating memory. “I got tired of him bossing me around, telling me what to do, so I told him I hate him.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Lexa asks.

“I wanted to forget about it,” Octavia sighs. “As far as I’m concerned, the only siblings I have are sisters,” she says with a smile, looking at her friends.

“I’m glad my brother isn’t so bad,” Ontari says, relieved. She isn’t always the nicest towards Roan, but he’s kind and he treats her well. Even though her brother has been her legal guardian, he was never bossy towards her. Ever since she’s been eighteen, Roan hasn’t been her legal guardian anymore, but that didn’t mean she had to move out or anything.

“Sisters sounds good to me,” Lexa says approvingly.

“Five weeks and then we’ll graduate,” Octavia says, changing the topic as her thoughts drift. “Ugh, I hope our finals won’t be too hard.”

“Your birthday will be a good way to relax though,” Lexa says thoughtfully, aware that Octavia’s eighteenth birthday is coming up.

“I think I’ll celebrate it at the park,” Octavia says pensively. “I’d rather not celebrate it at home. Lincoln will be there, so it’ll be great.”

“That’s no place to celebrate,” Ontari says dryly. “Fuck no, come party at my place. I’ll have a keg.”

Octavia chuckles at Ontari’s lovely way of making a suggestion. “Your place it is,” she agrees.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Awww she looks adorable,” Raven says, feeling her heart melt. It’s the end of May and finally Anya and she can take Riley home, their daughter from this day onward. “Isn’t she the cutest?”

“Yes, she is,” Anya agrees with Raven, smiling brightly. “She’s perfect.” She has been looking forward to meet Riley.

“Everything is all set,” the lady of the agency says. “You may take your daughter home now,” she says with a warm friendly smile while holding Riley out towards Raven.

“Thank you,” both Raven and Anya say.

Raven smiles and takes Riley into her arms. “Hey, baby girl,” she whispers sweetly. “Your mommy and I have been waiting for you.”

Anya caresses Riley’s cheek softly, happy to have a daughter. She decided with Raven that she will be called mommy and that her girlfriend will be called mama. “Thank you for your time,” she says to the lady of the agency. “I’ll hold the door open,” she whispers to Raven. “Let’s take our daughter home.” It feels good to say those words.

Raven follows Anya outside and holds Riley as her girlfriend opens the car door. She carefully puts their daughter down and makes sure she is seated well.

“I’ll text Lexa to let her know we’re on our way,” Anya says as she gets in the car. She types out a quick text, puts her phone away and starts the car.

“It would have been nice if we could have celebrated her birthday when she turned one,” Raven says a bit sadly, knowing Riley’s first birthday happened a month ago.

“Hey,” Anya whispers, placing her hand under Raven’s chin and tilting it up so their eyes meet. “What matters is that we have a beautiful baby girl who we get to take home.” She leans in and kisses her girlfriend. “I love you, Raven.”

Raven smiles and kisses Anya back. “I love you too, Anya,” she whispers.

Anya pulls back, checks her mirrors and starts driving home, where Lexa and the others are waiting to welcome Riley home. She hopes it won’t be too overwhelming for the little girl, who has yet to get to know them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Welcome home,” Lexa says sweetly as she opens the door. She’s happy to see Anya and Raven happy with Riley. “Hi, Riley,” she says, caressing the little girl’s cheek. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Aww she’s so cute in that little flower dress,” Clarke says, clasping her hands together and smiling. Someday she’d love to have a daughter, to complete her family a bit more, but of course she loves Aden very much. “Has she said anything yet?”

“Not yet,” Raven replies with a gentle sigh. “This is all new for her.”

“Can I hold her?” Clarke asks. She adores children and Riley is such an adorable little girl.

“Sure,” Raven says, handing Riley over to Clarke. “I’ll cut the cake I baked earlier.”

“Chocolate cake?” Octavia asks with a hopeful look while licking her lips.

“You and chocolate,” Lexa comments, shaking her head and chuckling lightly.

“I don’t blame her,” Ontari says. “Chocolate is good, it’s heavenly.”

“Lots of chocolate cake,” Raven says, smirking and confirming Octavia’s question. “It’s my specialty.”

Lexa hoists Aden up when he tugs at her pants, so he wouldn’t feel left out. From the way Clarke is looking at Riley it is safe to assume that the blonde wants more children.

“The cake looks good,” Lola says approvingly, holding her thumb up to Raven. She appreciates it that they bothered to invite her, which they did because she’s one of Lexa’s friends. Lately she’s been getting closer with Lexa, Octavia and Ontari than she has been with Trisha and Emori, which is a bit of a shame.

Lexa accepts a small plate with a piece of cake from Raven and takes a seat at the kitchen table with Aden on her lap. “Say a,” she whispers to him, although she can see he’s already very eager to taste the chocolate cake.

“Mhm,” Aden mumbles, chewing on the cake. “Yum, yum.”

“He’s cute,” Octavia says as she takes a seat next to Lexa with a plate of her own. “Sometimes I just want to eat him up.” The more she thinks about it, the more she likes children and she knows that one day she wants to have a little family with Lincoln. “I’ll have kids someday.”

“Ew,” Ontari says in disgust, scrunching her nose up as she takes a seat, having overheard Octavia talking. “Why would you even want kids?”

Octavia chuckles when she sees Aden has chocolate all over his chin. “Example a,” she says as she points towards him.

“Okay, that’s kind of cute.”

“Just know that if you have children someday, we’ll be the first ones to say you do like children,” Lexa says teasingly, patting Ontari’s shoulder. “You know, just us gal pals, being supportive.”

“I’ve got zero regrets about those balloons,” Ontari says with an evil grin. “Speaking of that, did you find out yet who sent you that bouquet of roses on Valentine?”

“Yeah, did you?” Octavia chimes in, curious to know as well. “It’s been three months.”

Lexa licks her lips and notices how Raven and Anya are distracted with Riley, while they are talking to Clarke. It’s clear they aren’t paying any attention to the conversation she has with her friends. She has been wondering if perhaps those roses were from Clarke, but she can’t know that for sure. “Nah,” she finally answers. “I didn’t find out yet.”

“Damn,” Ontari says. “I thought that secret admirer would have worked up the guts by now to step forward.” She slides her fork through the middle of her cake, swiftly as if she’s using a blade. “Romance is kind of lame anyway.”

Octavia shares a sad look with Lexa and she’s tempted to squeeze Ontari’s hand for some comfort, but she knows her friend isn’t such a fan of gestures like that. It was unexpected news when Ontari said she and Lola broke up and decided to stay friends.

Lexa watches Ontari angrily eating the cake and she has a feeling her breakup with Lola bothers her more than she lets on. Despite how strong her friend is, she knows Ontari surely isn’t made of stone and can hurt deeply. She thought Lola and Ontari were solid together, but apparently they aren’t and she wonders if part of the reason is because they’ll be off to college four hours away from here, while Lola still has a year to go before she would possibly join them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke sighs and shakes her head, watching Aden’s sleepy form, moving gently on the couch. She looks at her watch and sees it is close to her son’s bedtime, so he must have been quite tired. She had been spending time with Anya and Raven, talking about schoolwork, the summer vacation and numerous other things. They had sat down in the kitchen, drinking coffee and she had no idea it got this late.

“He can sleep over tonight,” Anya offers, keeping her voice low. “There is enough space for him to share with Riley.” She wouldn’t mind letting him stay one night, it wouldn’t be a hassle.

“You could sleep on the couch,” Raven says to Clarke, suggesting and offering. “We’ll try to make it as comfortable as possible.”

Lexa is sitting next to Aden, stroking his hair. She heard them all whispering. “She could sleep in my room,” she offers. “I could put the air mattress out, I have enough space,” she adds quickly, not wanting her over to sound weird although it sounds unlike her. “It’s only one night, right?” she says, shrugging as if she doesn’t care.

Anya squeezes Lexa’s shoulder and winks at her, feeling proud for handling this in such a mature way. “Clarke, is that okay for you?” she asks to make sure.

“I appreciate the offer,” Clarke says hesitantly and for a moment she wants to reject the offer, but she knows they all mean well and Aden does look awfully tired. Having to wake her son up to take him home wouldn’t be the best idea and it’s only for one night. “Thank you,” she says gratefully, nodding in acceptance.

Ontari smirks, but changes her expressions quickly to neutral when Lexa elbows her. “I’ll be going home,” she whispers respectfully. “I’ll see you, Lex.”

“I have to go as well,” Octavia announces. “The chocolate cake was delicious, kudos to the chef,” she says with a wink.

“I’ll see you at school,” Lola says, preparing herself to leave as well.

Lexa slowly gets up from the couch so she wouldn’t wake Aden up and walks to the door with her friends to see them out.

Anya softly rocks Riley in her arms and takes her to her bedroom, following by Clarke who has now carefully scooped Aden up. “Little angels,” she whispers with adoration in her eyes as she puts Riley down to sleep while Clarke puts Aden down.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You can sleep in my bed if you want,” Lexa offers. “I could sleep on the air mattress.”  

“No thanks,” Clarke replies with a smile. “It’s okay I don’t mind sleeping on this.”

“Are you comfortable enough?” Lexa asks. “I can get you another pillow or an extra blanket,” she offers, not wanting Clarke to be uncomfortable or cold in any way.

“It is okay, it’s not necessary,” Clarke assures Lexa. “I’m comfortable, this is fine.”

“Can I get you a glass of water or anything at all?”

Clarke chuckles, feeling amused by Lexa’s overbearingness. “Well, a hug would be nice,” she says jokingly, or at least she thought it would have come across as her joking. She sure is proven wrong when the girl sits down next to her and wraps her arms around her, hugging her tightly, causing a startled gasp to escape from the back of her throat.

“A hug like this?” Lexa asks sweetly, gently rubbing Clarke’s back. She smiles when the blonde nuzzles her head in the crook of her neck and slumps into her arms. “I like holding you,” she admits, whispering. “Clarke?”

“Mhm?” Clarke hums, not wanting this moment to end. She doesn’t want Lexa to let her go, not yet, not right now. Sometimes she doesn’t even realize how much a hug means, how heartwarming it can be.

“I received a bouquet of roses on Valentine,” Lexa whispers, hinting at where she’s going with this. “The roses were red and my eyes are green,” she quotes the card that was attached to it, albeit slightly altered. “I hope you can smile…”

“You’re a beauty to be seen,” Clarke whispers, remembering what she put on the card. She wasn’t sure if Lexa would still find out that she did. “I wanted you to feel special, because you mean a lot to me,” she explains.

Lexa pulls back a little bit, just enough to have access to Clarke’s neck. She nips gently at the blonde’s skin, kissing her neck here and there while her hands rest on Clarke’s sides.

“Lexa,” Clarke warns softly. “We can’t.”

Lexa sighs defeated, struggling with the connection they share which is constantly being denied. “Okay,” she gives in, hugging Clarke once again.

Clarke slumps back into Lexa’s arms and as much as she wants this, she can’t. This isn’t exactly about morals, it’s about what’s right and wrong and getting involved with the girl, who is her student, would be wrong. She has to get Lexa out of her mind.

“I’m going to hop in my bed,” Lexa whispers, peeling herself away from Clarke. “If you need anything, well, you know where to find me.”

Clarke watches how Lexa gets up and gets under her covers. Each time she’s close to the girl, it all becomes more difficult and painful to keep her distance, and in all fairness she hasn’t done such a good job at that. It’s as if she keeps gravitating towards Lexa, no matter how often she tells herself that she shouldn’t and that it’s wrong. She’s not sure how much more close calls she can take before she finally caves in and loses herself to drink in love.

Lexa exhales slowly when she feels her bed dipping lightly, hearing how Clarke is making herself comfortable and seeing how an arm is being draped over her. She grasps the blonde’s hand in hers and brings it up to her lips, pressing a tender kiss to it. The corner of her lips curl upwards into a smile when she feels Clarke’s body shuffling closer, effectively spooning her. The only issue is that she doesn’t quite spoon with anyone and she most certainly isn’t the one to be the little spoon.

Clarke’s eyes are a dark shade of blue when Lexa turns around, facing her. “You’ve been very kind to me,” she whispers, caressing the girl’s cheek.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispers, rolling the k effortlessly off her tongue. She reaches out to twirl a lock of Clarke’s hair around her fingertip. “I’m happy you’re here,” she whispers earnestly, always enjoying the blonde’s company and she wants Clarke to know that.

Clarke grasps Lexa’s wrist and gently tugs her closer, holding her and that’s all she wants for now, to hold the girl. “Can we just…be?” she asks quietly. “Like this,” she clarifies. “Just…friends.”

Lexa refrains herself from sighing out loud and she knows they could be so much more than friends, and she wants to be so much more than friends, but it’s clear that Clarke isn’t quite on the same page. She can tell the feelings she has are likely mutual, but she has to hold it all in with faint hope. “Of course,” she answers silently, remaining calm about it. Clarke’s needs are important to her and she will respect those.

“Goodnight, Lexa,” Clarke whispers before closing her eyes.

“Goodnight, Clarke,” Lexa whispers in response. She waits until Clarke’s eyes flutter shut and when she can hear the blonde sleeping and watches her turn around in her sleep, she sighs. “Maybe someday you will set your love free, as I have mine.” She wishes she could tell Clarke that, but she can’t, she can’t say those words aloud, not yet. Maybe never. People tend to say that if you love someone you should set them free to see if they come back or not, so perhaps that is what she should do.

Clarke chews on her bottom lip and opens her eyes, saddened by the heaviness with which Lexa whispered her words secretly in the dark and she can tell that despite being meant for her ears, she wasn’t supposed to hear them yet, if at all. Aside from the fact that the girl will be her student for another month, she also has to think about Lexa will be off to college after the summer which will be rough because she’ll miss the girl. Lastly she has to think about how she will be twenty-seven soon and how she has a two year old son, while Lexa is - though of legal age - only eighteen.

 


	36. Walking in on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;)

Clarke wakes up with the sun breaking through the window and instantly realizes she’s in Lexa’s bed, but the girl isn’t in it anymore. When she looks at the air mattress, she doesn’t see Lexa either, so she assumes she must have gotten up already. Quietly she slips out of bed and leaves the room, trying not to make the door crack too much. She hears something in the room where the kids are sleeping and tiptoes towards it to check it up.

“You two are early birds,” Lexa whispers to Aden and Riley. She sees that the little girl’s bottom lip is trembling and not a second later tears appear in her eyes, with wailing sounds as a result. “Aww, baby, no,” she hushes, lifting Riley up and gently rocking her in her arms. “Shh, it’s okay.”

Clarke holds her breath and lingers at the door, wondering if she should enter the room and take over, but when Lexa hums a song, she’s curious to see how it plays out. She would normally help and she was going to, until her curiosity got the upper hand. There have been times where she has seen the girl interact with Aden when nobody else was around or when Lexa thought nobody was looking and then is the first time she sees her interacting with Riley.

“Lessa,” Aden whines while stretching his arms out. “Up,” he demands, pouting.

Lexa smiles briefly at him and readjusts Riley to hold her with her left arm while she snakes her right arm around Aden, picking him up too. It feels unusual to her, to have two young children with their arms around her neck. She hears the little girl sniffling near her ear while Aden is mumbling about breakfast.

Clarke is thankful that she can watch this rare moment, to see how Lexa is handling the children, especially when the girl doesn’t know someone is looking. “Hey,” she whispers softly, finally making her presence known. She’s probably been staring long enough for now.

Lexa turns around, slightly startled. “Good morning,” she whispers, wondering how long Clarke has been standing at the door. “Time for breakfast,” she says, leaving the room. “I think Raven and Anya are still sleeping, but they’ll probably be up soon.”

“I’ll help with breakfast,” Clarke offers, since it is the least she can do. “Come here, my little man,” she says as she takes Aden over from Lexa, so the girl wouldn’t have her hands so full.

“You look like a little family,” Raven comments, smirking as she leaves her bedroom. She’s obviously just playing and teasing, but it’s a cute sight to see Clarke and Lexa with Aden and Riley.

Clarke freezes upon hearing Raven’s words and clears her throat. “Good morning,” she says sweetly, wanting to change the topic fast.

It didn’t go lost on Lexa how Clarke froze due to Raven’s words. She can’t say she would disagree with the Latina, because it does look as if they’re a little family, which gives her certain thoughts, but she pushes those away before it overwhelms her. Maybe someday and maybe just never, though the latter sounds unbearable.

“Hey, baby girl,” Raven coos as she takes Riley over from Lexa. “Did you sleep well, sweetie?”

Lexa notices that Anya is waking up too and clearly Raven and Clarke are occupied with the children now. “I’m going to take a shower,” she announces, although nobody really seems to be listening. She’ll eat her breakfast after she hops out of the shower.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“It is fine, Clarke,” Anya reassures. “We’ll keep an eye on Aden.” She smiles at Aden, who is drinking some orange juice while waiting for the breakfast Raven is making.

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Clarke replies. She walks up to Lexa’s bedroom, where she has left her clothes and enters. In her hurry, it didn’t even occur to her to knock at all, which is unlike her. Then again in her defense, her mind has been all over the place.

Lexa is standing in front of her closet, with a towel wrapped around her body. Her hair is still dripping a little on her skin. When she got out the shower, she realized she didn’t bring any clothes and for her that’s quite normal, because she’s used to walk to her bedroom afterwards to get dressed. Today however, she should have considered having her clothes with her in the bathroom to get dressed there. Then again, with the way Clarke’s jaw drops while blue eyes roam freely over her body, this was actually a very good idea.

“I-I’m...,” Clarke stutters, looking for her words. She did not expect to walk in on Lexa wearing nothing else but a towel. “My clothes,” she vaguely explains. “They’re um… here… in your room.”

Lexa smirks at Clarke’s awkwardness, thoroughly enjoying this moment. “Let me get them for you,” she says sweetly, moving to bend down, knowing that when she does so, the fabric of her towel will move and threaten to fall down.

Clarke bites her bottom lip hard when she sees Lexa’s towel shifting slightly, revealing a bit more skin and oh god, this is too much. “No,” she says abruptly, moving to swat the girl’s hand away and push her back. “I mean… no, I got it,” she corrects herself. “Thank you.”

Lexa turns around, facing her closet and drops her towel as she grabs a set of black lingerie. She hears clothes dropping onto her floor and she can guess Clarke dropped them when she dropped her towel.

Clarke gulps hard, seeing Lexa’s bare back and when she lowers her eyes… oh for the love of… Christ! “Fuck,” she mumbles and quickly turns around, feeling her fingertips ache to touch the girl, which she really shouldn’t. Where on earth is her self-control? She’s practically drooling each time she’s near Lexa.

Lexa turns around and smiles when she sees Clarke is standing with her back towards her. She slowly puts her black panties on and slides the straps of her black lacy bra over her arms, gently cupping her breasts in the cups. When she’s down to have to clasp it behind her back, she clears her throat.

“Yes?” Clarke asks, still not turning around just in case Lexa isn’t decent yet. Not that the girl isn’t decent, because holy heavens, but she would prefer to see Lexa a bit more clothed. Now that thought makes her inner gay cry, but she has her reasons.

“Can you give me a hand, Clarke?” Lexa asks sweetly. “Please?” she throws in for good measure.

Clarke slowly turns around and oh fuck… yeah what else did she expect? “A hand..,” she repeats. “Right, yes.”

“With my bra,” Lexa clarifies. She turns around and brushes her hair over her right shoulder, to give Clarke clear access to close her bra. Of course she can do it herself, but why would she do that when she might as well tease the blonde a bit? Nah, this is definitely better and she isn’t ashamed of her body.

Clarke mentally curses herself when her hands are shaking as she reaches out. She tries to keep her hands from shaking when she clasps Lexa’s bra. A few droplets of water roll over the girl’s shoulder, down her back. She knows she’s keeping her hands on Lexa for more than a second longer than needed.

Lexa breathes slowly, feeling Clarke’s hands on her back. “Is it done?” she asks, wondering why the blonde is still lingering there.

Clarke jumps up, startled due to the silence suddenly being broken. “Yes,” she answers, pulling her hands away as if burned.

Lexa turns around again, but she sees that Clarke is doing all she can to avoid looking at her. It’s amusing how the blonde picks up her clothes and practically runs out of her room. Clarke should sleep over again sometime, it was fun, or at least it was for her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Close your eyes, O,” Lexa instructs, simultaneously holding her hands in front of Octavia’s eyes to make sure she’s not peeking.

Ontari grins and opens the garage door. Finally she’ll know how Octavia will respond to the motorcycle they have for her, which they’ve been working on a bit for months.

“Okay, I’m going to move my hands away now,” Lexa says, slowly moving her hands away.

“Can I open my eyes now?” Octavia asks, very curious to know which surprise Lexa and Ontari have for her.

“Yeah, open them,” Ontari replies.

Octavia opens her eyes to look and she sees a motorcycle, from which she knows for sure it doesn’t belong to Lexa or Ontari. “No way,” she says, gasping. She points at the motorcycle and takes a step closer. “Is this…? Is it…?”

Lexa chuckles and nods, letting Octavia know that the motorcycle really is her present.

“We planned this for months,” Ontari says.

“So that’s why I got those driver lessons!” Octavia shouts excitedly, now realizing the sneakiness they have been up to. “Oh my god you two! This is amazing!!”

“My ears,” Ontari groans, placing her hands over her ears. “Happy birthday, O.”

“Happy birthday, O,” Lexa says with a smile. She hands Octavia her own personal helmet, to go along with the motorcycle.

“You two are the best friends ever!!” Octavia shouts, over the top excited and happy. She can’t believe they actually got her a motorcycle and she can’t imagine how much her mother will freak out once she knows about it, but she’s eighteen now so she’ll do her own thing. “Do you see how sweet my friends are, Linc?” she asks sweetly, grabbing Lincoln’s arm.

Lincoln smiles and kisses the top of Octavia’s head. “Thanks for inviting me, girls,” he says politely, grateful to be here to celebrate his girlfriend’s birthday.

“O would have killed us if we didn’t invite you,” Ontari says bluntly.

“I might have,” Octavia laughs. “Can’t be here without him.” She holds Lincoln’s hand and leans in to kiss him, happy that she doesn’t have to hide her relationship anymore, now that she’s legally old enough. “I’m relieved that his work is in between our homes and Polis,” she says to her friends. “He’ll only have to drive an hour and a half or two if the traffic isn’t so great to visit me. Three weeks and then we’ll graduate.”

“I’m happy for you, O,” Lexa says earnestly. She can see Octavia clicks very well with Lincoln and he seems genuinely sweet. “Can we not talk about graduation now though? I don’t want to think about our finals,” she explains.

“I agree with Lex,” Ontari says. “Let’s get this party started!” she shouts loudly. “Get the fuck off my lawn and get your asses inside,” she instructs, signaling everyone to go inside. “That keg won’t empty itself.”

“I will pretend I heard nothing about a keg,” Roan says, smiling. He knows they drink sometimes, even when they shouldn’t and he’s okay with that as long as they don’t go overboard.

“You’re the sweetest,” Lexa compliments Roan with a wink.

“I dare you to drink from the keg, upside down,” Ontari challenges Octavia. “Let’s see what you’re made of, birthday girl.”

“A little help?” Octavia asks Lincoln. She huffs when she pushes herself up on the keg and is relieved when her boyfriend holds her up a bit.

Lexa grabs a cup of the table to drink, watching as Octavia drinks from the keg. “She’s doing better than last time,” she says to Ontari, although she shouldn’t sound too proud about that.

“Our girl is growing up,” Ontari says amusedly with a wink.

“This party is exactly what we need to relax before we have to dive into our finals,” Lexa says. She has already been studying quite a bit and she knows it won’t exactly be easy.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I might miss our school,” Ontari admits. Even though she’s not together anymore with Lola, she still might miss it a bit to be around the rest of their friends. “I’ll miss pranking our teachers and stuff like that. College is going to be different.”

“I’ll miss our school too,” Lexa whispers, barely admitting it aloud. She won’t miss Arkadia as much as she’ll be missing Clarke. “College is going to be big. I look forward to share a dorm room.”

“I’ve been looking into some already,” Ontari says, sharing the news. “I found a few good ones.”

“Hey, bitches,” Octavia grumbles, cutting into their conversation. “Now you’re talking about school stuff anyway and to say I had to shut up and party.”

“You’re right,” Lexa replies. “My bad.”

“Hey,” Luna says, smiling as she walks up to them with a cup in her hand. “Thanks for the invite, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it,” Ontari replies. She wouldn’t have invited Luna if it hadn’t been for Lexa saying it was okay.

Lexa empties her cup and tosses it to the side. “I’m going to crush your time on that keg, O,” she says with a playful tone. “And I don’t need help.”

Ontari whistles on her fingers to cheer Lexa on. “You go, commander!” she says loudly. “Alright people, place your bets,” she says, pulling out money. “How long do y’all think she can stay on that keg?”

Lexa chuckles and waits for Ontari to round everyone up to place their bets. Once her friend is done, she grips the sides of the keg with her hands and slowly lifts herself up, flexing her arms.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ontari takes a slow pull of her joint and holds it out to Lexa.

“No thanks,” Lexa says, shaking her head at the same time and pushing Ontari’s hand away.

“You’re passing it up?” Octavia asks surprised. She’s never really seen Lexa passing up on a joint before, so this is new. “Drank too much?”

“I’m done with that stuff,” Lexa states dryly. Even though joints aren’t that bad, she doesn’t want to be involved with drugs anymore. She doesn’t mind drinking every once in a while, but she’s getting older and she doesn’t feel like messing around too much. “No more joints for me.”

“Aight,” Ontari says, taking another pull. “No problem.” She would never force any of her friends to do something they don’t want to, so if Lexa wants to stop then that’s cool. “O?”

“Yeah, give it to me.”

“Is that what you say to Lincoln?” Lexa asks teasingly. It is Octavia’s birthday, so of course she has to tease her at least a little bit and she knows her friend knows she’s just playing.

Octavia laughs while Ontari expresses her disgust.

“Oh shit, here he comes,” Octavia hushes, passing the blunt back to Ontari as she sees Lincoln approaching.

“I bet-”

“Shut up,” Ontari grumbles, placing her hand over Lexa’s mouth. “Not again.”

“That’s not what he said,” Octavia comments, laughing.

Lexa pulls herself away from Ontari’s hand and laughs along with Octavia.

“I hate you both,” Ontari says, flipping them off.

“Everything okay, ladies?” Lincoln asks kindly. “You all seem to be having a lot of fun.” He sits down next to Octavia and wraps his arm around her waist. “I’m happy I came,” he says earnestly, happy to be here.

“That’s what she said,” Ontari blurts out, high fiving Octavia.

Lincoln looks confused when the girls are all laughing and he has no idea what’s going on.

“I’m hungry,” Lexa says, sighing when her stomach growls. “See,” she adds, pointing towards her stomach.

“Hey, Roan,” Ontari calls out. “Order us some pizza! We’re hungry.”

“College is going to be sweet,” Octavia says, rubbing her hands together. “Finally I won’t have to live with my mother anymore.”

“I look forward to our summer vacation,” Lexa says, wanting to get the finals over with as soon as possible so she can graduate. “Anya is probably making some plans. I don’t know what she’s up to.” She overheard Anya and Raven a few times, talking about the summer vacation and she guesses they’re probably filling it up with activities.

“I don’t really have plans yet,” Ontari says. “I was thinking we could go on a trip with our motorcycles, now that O’s got one.”

“Awesome!” Octavia replies excitedly. “I’m totally down for that, hell yes! Then I get to try it out properly.”

“The pizzas will be here in twenty minutes,” Roan calls out after he hangs up the phone.

“Your brother is so chill,” Lexa says to Ontari. She likes how Roan didn’t object to have Octavia’s birthday party at his place and how laidback he is about all of them drinking.

“Yeah, he’s not so bad,” Ontari admits. “Sisters are better though,” she adds with a wink. She grabs her Swiss blade and cuts into the palm of her left hand.

“Oh my god!” Octavia says shocked. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to make a blood oath,” Ontari explains. She holds her left hand out and hands Lexa her Swiss blade with her right hand.

Lexa grins and grabs her own Swiss blade instead, cutting into the palm of her left hand. “You two will always be my sisters,” she promises, vowing it with her blood.

“Argh shit,” Octavia mutters, cutting into the palm of her left hand. “To us being sisters.”

“Blood is what binds us,” Lexa says with a serious tone, gripping Ontari’s hand first and Octavia’s hand second. She knows they will always be sisters in her eyes, always a part of her family.

“I must say this is the best birthday I ever had,” Octavia says with a smile. “I got a motorcycle, a blood oath and I can finally be with Lincoln in public, I don’t have to hide this anymore.”

“I’m happy that you’re happy,” Lexa says truthfully. “I’m also happy I broke my record on that keg.”

 


	37. Sketch

“Place your backpack at the front of the class,” Clarke says with a strict tone, explaining. “Leave only pens and pencils on your desk, nothing else,” she instructs, following the rules clearly. “If I catch you cheating, you will automatically fail, so I strongly advice you not to do that.”

Lexa drops her backpack at the front of the class, near Clarke’s desk. She returns back to her desk, with only a few pens and pencils in her hand, and an eraser.

Ontari sighs deeply and plops down on Lexa’s left. It’s been annoying to study so much, but she wants to pass so she can go to Polis. Once she gets through this, she’ll have her summer vacation to relax.

Octavia sits down on Lexa’s right, nervously placing her pens and pencils on her desk. She has been studying so much that she barely had time to see Lincoln, but that was also due to her mother who practically kept her locked up inside the house so she would study.

“I will hand out your tests,” Clarke says calmly, glancing at the desks to make sure nothing that shouldn’t be there is on them. “Once I handed them all out, I will give a signal for you all to start. Only then will you turn your papers around to begin.”

The classroom is quieter than it has ever been before. There are a few sounds of paper moving and pencils being rearranged.

Clarke walks back to her desk and sits down. “You have two hours,” she explains. “When you are done, quietly bring your test to me and make sure your name is written on every page. Once you are done, you may go to Miss Reyes’ class for your next test,” she concludes, as is agreed with Raven. “Some questions are multiple choice while others are not. Read each question thoroughly. You may begin now, good luck.”

The students turn their papers and get right to it, as if they will run out of time.

Lexa is grateful for the way Clarke tutored her after she had been sick, which helped her to catch up with the others again. Self-study would have done the trick as well, but nonetheless it is greatly appreciated. She looks up and sees how Miss Griffin is keeping an eye on everyone. It’s hard to believe how fast this school year went by and how soon, she won’t have Clarke as her teacher anymore.

Clarke quietly reaches out for a pencil and sketches absentmindedly to pass the time, while looking at her students every now and then. She hopes that all her efforts have been enough to make them pass her class.

Lexa silently stands up when she is done and she sees Ontari and Octavia are also getting up, which makes her guess they might have been waiting for her.

Clarke stretches her arm out to accept the tests and by doing so, her sketches land on the floor in front of her desk. She really should have been more careful with her movements.

Lexa bends through her knees to pick the sketches up and she can’t help her curiosity when she looks at them. “These are beautifully drawn,” she whispers to Clarke, to avoid disturbing the other students. “Especially this one,” she whispers, pointing her index finger at a significantly smaller sketch.

Clarke flashes Lexa a smile, happy that the girl likes her sketches. “You can keep this one,” she whispers, sliding the smaller sketch towards Lexa.

Lexa folds it and slips it into her pocket. She grabs her backpack and leaves the classroom, noticing how Octavia and Ontari are waiting for her in the hall.

“How did it go?” Octavia asks curiously. “I think I’ll probably pass, but Miss Reyes’ test will be harder, I bet.”

“I’m quite sure I’ll pass,” Lexa replies confidently. She didn’t struggle with the questions and it would be doubtful if she wouldn’t pass. “I think you’re right about Miss Reyes,” she agrees, remembering how last year Raven’s test sure wasn’t a piece of cake.

“Compared to her tests, Miss Griffin’s tests are easy,” Ontari says dryly. “I’m glad we got done early, so now we got some extra time for Miss Reyes’ test.”

“Good point,” Octavia agrees. “We might need it.”

“I’m going,” Lexa says, done with hanging around in the hall. “The longer we stay here, the more time we lose.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Don’t burn your eyebrows off,” Raven warns her students. “Or each other’s eyebrows,” she adds thoughtfully, since that wouldn’t be a first either.

“Did you hear that, Lex?” Ontari asks teasingly, nudging Lexa with her elbow. “You can’t burn my eyebrows off.”

“Accidents happen,” Lexa says, waving it off. “Example one, our mothers.” She knows it’s not funny for other people, but throughout the years she learned to laugh about it along with Ontari. They didn’t pick their mothers and in that department they both got left out.

Octavia sighs and sits down next to Costia, who seems ready to begin. She has a feeling her test has gone well and she’s not worried about this lab test, considering Costia is a good student. “So um… which college do you plan on going to?” she asks casually.

“I will be studying abroad,” Costia replies. “In Paris.”

“Oh okay,” Octavia says surprised. “That sure is… far away.”

Lexa is slightly relieved to hear Costia doesn’t plan to study at Polis. “We need to get this done,” she whispers to Ontari.

“I think I found us a dorm for when we go to college,” Ontari casually shares. “There’s one little detail though,” she adds with a sigh.

“What’s the detail?”

“It’s meant for four people, so we need to find someone to share with us.”

“Hmm that sure is a detail,” Lexa agrees, seeing the problem. “Yeah then we’ll have to find someone.”

“Half an hour left,” Raven announces, tapping her watch. “Make it happen, students.” She glares at Lexa and Ontari, who mostly have been talking rather than finishing their lab test.

“Want to go for a motorcycle ride when we get out of here?” Ontari asks Lexa and Octavia.

“I’d love to,” Octavia replies. She’s happy to have her own motorcycle, although her mother has given her an elaborate lecture about the dangers. Not that any of that matters since she’s old enough now and she doesn’t care.

“I’m in,” Lexa says, wanting to feel the wind in her hair. “The weather is begging us for it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke crouches down to look under her desk when all her students are gone, but there’s nothing there, which makes her think she might have misplaced it somewhere. She knows she gave her smallest sketch to Lexa on impulse, but another one of her sketches is gone and the one she lost had a lot more details to it. Perhaps she accidentally placed it aside with the tests from her students.

Unable to find it, she grabs the tests and walks towards the teachers’ lounge, where she can work on reading through the tests. In a week she needs to have the results neatly presented, so it can be known who passed. She sets herself a cup of coffee, to help her get this all done.

“You’re still here?” Raven asks surprised when she walks in. She was about to sit down for five minutes with a cup of coffee and then go home, but she didn’t expect Clarke to be here.

Clarke looks up from her paperwork and frowns. “Aren’t you with your students?” she asks, confused. “For their tests?”

“They went home a few minutes ago,” Raven replies, noticing Clarke’s confusion. “Didn’t you had to pick Aden up?”

“Oh no!” Clarke says shocked. “What time is it?” she asks, but doesn’t wait for an answer. She looks at her watch and jumps up. “I’m late,” she sighs, disappointed in herself.

“Here, I’ll help you,” Raven offers, grabbing the paperwork and stacking it neatly. “I could give you a ride.”

“That would be… really great actually,” Clarke replies. “Thank you, Raven.”

“No biggie,” Raven says with a smile, deciding she’ll have her coffee later. “We’re friends, you can count on me.” She fishes her phone out of her pocket to type out a text. “I’ll let Anya know I’ll be picking Riley up. She was going to pick her up, but since I’ll be in the neighborhood I’ll do it.”

“How has she been doing in the daycare?” Clarke asks curiously. “Does she like Niylah?”

“She’s been doing great, always smiling,” Raven says happily. “Your recommendation was helpful. Niylah is amazing with Riley and she was sweet when Riley cried the first time.”

Clarke follows Raven to her car. “Has Riley said anything yet?” she asks, wondering. She knows Riley is still very young, but she’s probably mumbling a few words by now, or at least Aden did when he was her age.

“She’s a silent child, but she has been vaguely saying a few words,” Raven proudly shares. “Most of what she says sounds like gibberish, but we always encourage her to go on. You never know, she might be a genius someday.”

Clarke smiles and fastens her seatbelt. “Which words has she been saying?”

“She calls Anya mommy, which is good because that’s what we wanted and she calls me mam or mamam, it’s adorable.”

“Aww, it must be so sweet when she says that.”

“Ohhh,” Raven says quickly, recalling something. “Riley even has a name for Lexa.”

“Does she call her Lessa like Aden does?”

Raven chuckles and shakes her head. “She’s been calling Lexa Les and Anya thinks it’s because Lexa’s friends call her Lex, which she must have overheard more than a few times,” she explains.

“That’s cute,” Clarke says, smiling. She wonders how Lexa feels about having Riley around, but from what she has seen she can guess it is fine. “Can you believe that the seniors will be graduating soon?”

“This school year went fast and it has been fun teaching them. Do you think they will pass your class?”

“I can’t be too sure, but I think they will pass,” Clarke says hopefully. “Do you think they’ll pass your class?”

“The lab tests didn’t go so well for everyone, but at least nobody’s eyebrows got burned off so that’s something. I think they will pass, they all seem ready to graduate and aside from the April Fools pranks, they have been behaving rather well, I can’t complain.”

Clarke is relieved when they arrive at Aden’s school, so she can pick him up. “I’m so sorry I’m late,” she apologizes.

“It can happen sometimes,” Gina says, holding Ofelia’s hand and Aden’s hand. “I told the teacher I would wait here for you, I don’t have anything to do really, so I had time.”

“Thank you, Gina,” Clarke says gratefully. “Would you like to grab a cup of coffee somewhere?”

“That would be lovely.”

“Okay, I’ll be going then,” Raven calls out through her window, seeing how Clarke no longer needs a ride. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Clarke.”

“Thanks for the ride, Raven,” Clarke says quickly, waving. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Holy shit,” Octavia says impressed when she sees Lexa taking a sharp turn, leaning down far enough to nearly scrape the pavement. She braces herself when she leans down, taking the same sharp turn.

Ontari moves her fingers slightly, making her grip with her leather gloves a bit more comfortable. She enjoys the smell of gasoline that lingers each time she’s on her motorcycle, especially when she speeds up. “Dammit, Lex!” She shouts loudly in the hopes Lexa would hear it as she’s being passed by. “I was so going to win this time!”

“Dream on!” Lexa shouts back. The gentle breeze flowing through her hair feels pleasant on this warm day where the sun is high up on the sky. She speeds up some more and effortlessly zigzags between the traffic, watching her three and her nine to be wary of any unwelcome surprises.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Octavia mutters when she watches Lexa zigzagging between cars, closely followed by Ontari. She’s still practicing to become better at that, to make sure she doesn’t hit any cars by mistake. “You bitches!” she shouts angrily. “Pick easier roads, will ya!?”

Lexa smiles and decides to give in, aware that Octavia is still trying to get the hang of it. She turns onto an easier road, making her way towards the park so they can relax for a while.

Octavia is relieved when they stop at the park. “I need ice cream,” she says, licking her lips. “It’s so hot today, damn.”

“I want chocolate ice cream,” Ontari says. “Lots of it.” She hates how warm it is, not being a fan of the heat considering she prefers colder weather, which is another reason why her friends nicknamed her arctic. “Hey, where are you going?” she asks Lexa when she sees her about to go in the opposite direction.

“Just over there,” Lexa replies, casually pointing across the street.

“You’re going to the tattoo shop?” Octavia asks, slightly surprised. “Are you going to get a tattoo?”

“Uhuh,” Lexa says. She turns around and starts walking, knowing exactly what she wants.

“Whoa wait,” Ontari says, rushing after Lexa.

“I’m getting a tattoo either way,” Lexa states calmly. “I’m eighteen, so I can do what I want.”

“As if I’d stop you,” Ontari grins. “You know me better than that, Lex,” she says, a little bit offended Lexa would assume she’d want to stop her. “I’m going to get one myself.”

“Well um… you two go and have fun,” Octavia says, swallowing slowly and fidgeting with her shirt. “I’m going to get my ice cream.” She doesn’t feel like getting a tattoo, at least not anytime soon.

“I think I’ll get a dragon or something,” Ontari says, thinking aloud. “What do you reckon?” she asks Lexa as they walk towards the tattoo shop together.

“I think it would suit you, if that’s what you want. Something like a lion or a tiger would suit you too.”

“Oh yeah, that sounds good as well. Hmm, I’ll see once we’re inside,” Ontari decides thoughtfully, not wanting to fully pin it to one thing yet. “What are you going to get?”

“You’ll see,” Lexa replies, shrugging. She opens the door and walks in, fishing a piece of paper out of her pocket and unfolding it. “I want this tattooed,” she says to the tattoo artist.

“I need to see some identification first,” the tattoo artist says, following the rules.

“Of course,” Lexa says, understanding. She grabs her ID and shows it to the tattoo artist to prove that she is eighteen. A tattoo is something she has always wanted and now seems like a good time for her to get one.

“Okay, just had to make sure,” the tattoo artist says with a smile. “Where would you like the tattoo?”

“That one on my collarbone,” Lexa says, pulling her shirt above her head. She hands the tattoo artist another piece of paper. “And this one all over my back.”

“Looking good, Lex!” Ontari shouts, whistling at her.

“Pervert,” Lexa retorts teasingly. When Ontari takes her shirt off, she whistles just to pay her back.

“Speak for yourself, sister,” Ontari says dryly, grinning as she sits down for her tattoo. “It’s a shame O doesn’t want one. She’s missing out.”

“I’d say she’s not missing out much,” Lexa disagrees. “She’s probably eating chocolate ice cream by now.” She doesn’t mind it if Octavia doesn’t want a tattoo, since it is a personal choice to make.

“Dammit, you’re right,” Ontari mutters, admitting that she was wrong. She smirks devilishly when the needle buzzes over her skin for the tattoo she’s getting, which is the head of a tiger on her back.

Lexa smiles and isn’t at all surprised by Ontari’s smirk, because she knows her friend enjoys pain up to a bearable amount. Personally she wouldn’t say she enjoys pain, but she can endure pain quite well. Getting a tattoo doesn’t feel so bad, although she does clench her jaw when she’s getting her first tattoo on her collar bone. It’s a sensitive spot and it seems to hurt a bit more, but she can bite through it. She tries to relax once she has to lie down on her stomach to get her second tattoo all over her back, and she knows this is going to take a while.

Ontari mutters a few curse words when she’s been told to lay still as she’s typing out a text. “I’m going to tell O to wait for us with ice cream,” she says to Lexa, already being impatient to wait and she wants her chocolate ice cream the moment they leave this tattoo shop.

“I want some vanilla,” Lexa requests, while Ontari is at it to text Octavia. She feels the tattoo artist using the needles on her back, to give her the tattoo from Clarke’s sketch. Okay the first one was given to her and she knows the bigger one wasn’t, but when she picked it up she just had to have it and she had no idea Clarke would give her the smaller sketch, which was a nice surprise.

“I think it’s obvious why I chose a tiger, because it might as well be my spirit animal,” Ontari says. “What’s the point behind your tattoos though?”

Lexa could choose to lie, but she doesn’t need to lie to one of her closest friends and Ontari already knows all about how she feels, as does Octavia. “Clarke sketched them,” she answers calmly.

“Cool,” Ontari mumbles, putting her phone away so the tattoo artist stops sighing at her. “I hope she gets to see them someday, that would be neat.”

“Yeah,” Lexa agrees, sighing deeply. “I hope so too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My guess is that I'll reach about 50 chapters, which is why I've set it to 50. It is possible that will change though, but it should be something around that number. I know the slowburn can be frustrating, but patience is necessary. :)


	38. Graduation

“I feel weird in this toga,” Octavia whispers. “I’m happy we’re finally graduating though.”

“High school – check,” Lexa says. “Next up, college.” She’s ready for it, but first she’ll enjoy her summer break as much as possible.

“I can’t wait to get rid of this ugly thing,” Ontari grumbles, tugging at her toga. “How long is this going to take anyway?”

“An hour or two, I believe,” Lexa replies, not fully sure. “We’ll be out of here soon enough.”

“Can you believe this is the last time we’re here?” Octavia asks, getting a bit emotional. “We spend some good years here, some of our best years even and oh my god… we’ll be the youngest ones at college.”

“I don’t see that being an issue,” Ontari says dryly. “We went to college parties tons of times and we won’t even be that much younger. They won’t care.”

“Welcome everyone,” the principal says loudly through the microphone. “Today it is my honor to see our seniors graduating. I will give the first word to Miss Griffin.”

Clarke shyly smiles and grabs the microphone, aware that the students are lined up behind her while their families are sitting in front of her. She can see Anya sitting on the front row with Riley and Aden. “Hello everyone,” she begins, greeting them. “This year has been my first year as a teacher and it has been a pleasure and an honor to enrich their minds,” she says politely. “The students will say a few quick words and afterwards you will all be offered a drink.”

Ontari yawns when Costia talks about how she’s going to study in Paris and a bunch of stuff she doesn’t care about. When it’s her turn, she isn’t interested to say much. “I’m happy I graduated, yada yada,” she says dryly and indifferently. “Next one.”

Octavia chuckles and grabs the microphone. “We did it bitches!!” she shouts loudly while throwing her toga cap in the air. She can see her mother face palming and much to her surprise her brother is sitting in the crowd as well, along with his wife and his daughter. Their presence is unnecessary, but she does like seeing Lincoln, smiling at her.

Lexa clears her throat and winks at Anya who is holding her thumb up for her. “I have had good years here at Arkadia,” she begins, smiling as she remembers the good times she had. “Sometimes I pulled pranks or got myself in trouble, but I’m happy to be standing here today, to graduate. Some of us will be going to college while others might decide to start working. Good luck to everyone!”

When the students go off the stage to greet their family, drinks are being served.

“Oomph,” Lexa groans when Anya hugs her tightly. Over her cousin’s shoulder she sees Costia leaving with her parents, likely in a hurry. “Okay, that’s enough,” she says, pulling herself away from her cousin’s hug.

“Congratulations,” Raven says with a chipper tone, hugging Lexa. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Ugh, not you too,” Lexa groans. “No more hugs.”

“You might want to reconsider that,” Anya says, chuckling. When Lexa gives her a confused look, she points at Aden who is running towards her.

“Hey, little buddy,” Lexa says, opening her arms to embrace Aden.

“Lessa,” Aden coos, hugging her tightly. “I love you,” he whispers in her ear, like a secret.

Lexa smiles and is happy to know at least one member of the Griffin family loves her. “I love you too,” she whispers quietly in his ear.

“We should go eat lunch somewhere,” Anya suggests. “It will be my treat.”

“Ri, O, I’ll see you two later,” Lexa promises. “We’ll text to hang out, yeah?”

“Sure, that’s fine,” Ontari replies, giving Lexa a fist bump. “See ya.”

“I have to run now,” Octavia says, a bit reluctantly. “I’ll see you both later,” she promises.

Lexa watches as her friends run off. “Not that I’d object to free lunch, but I’m not sure if Aden will let go,” she says, smiling a little at how tight his arms are wrapped around her neck. “Okay, little buddy,” she whispers softly, putting Aden down. “I have to go.”

Aden pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and pouts. “Don’t go, Lessa,” he pleads with a small voice.

“Aww baby, come here,” Clarke says, picking Aden up.

“You two can come,” Raven says quickly, inviting Clarke and Aden. “Right?” she asks Anya and mostly Lexa.

“That would be lovely,” Anya says sweetly as she hoists Riley up on her hip. “The more the merrier.”

“I don’t mind,” Lexa says, shrugging her shoulders. Truthfully she very much would love Clarke to join, but she’ll play it out casually. She stretches her arms out for Aden and smiles when he’s eager to be picked up by her.

“Lunch sounds great,” Clarke says thankful for the offer.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you want the green straw or the blue one?” Lexa asks Aden, holding out two straws.

Aden points at the green straw and smiles when Lexa places it in his lemonade.

“Then I’ll take the blue one,” Lexa whispers to Aden, winking. She puts it in her lemonade and notices Clarke is staring at her.

“We have been planning a trip for this summer vacation,” Anya announces, revealing the secret she had kept from Lexa. “I’m getting two weeks off and for one week we’ll have a vacation at the beach, with a hotel and everything,” she explains. Her other week is one she has reserved to do something with Raven, which she did tell her cousin about beforehand.

“It will be amazing,” Raven says, looking forward to it.

“The best part is that you’re invited,” Anya says to Clarke. “You and Aden.”

“Oh,” Clarke says, surprised. She had no idea they planned things like that.

“That’s not all though,” Anya says thoughtfully, reaching out for Lexa’s hand. “Octavia and Ontari can come with us.” She wasn’t giving to leave her cousin’s friends out.

Lexa surely doesn’t object to have a vacation with her best friends and Clarke. “Sounds fun, count me in,” she replies enthusiastically. She grabs her phone to text Octavia and Ontari immediately, while vaguely listening to Anya and Raven talking with Clarke about it, discussing it. 

 

 **Commander:** We will be going to the beach for a week, hotel and everything. You two in?

 **Arctic:** Hell yes. I’m in!

 **Grounder:** Um yeah sure, I’m in. I do have one condition though.

 **Commander:** What’s your condition?

 **Grounder:** I want Lincoln to come with.

 **Commander:** Hold up.

 

“Can Octavia bring Lincoln?” Lexa asks, briefly interrupting the others from talking.

“Who is Lincoln?” Anya asks, having no clue who that is.

“Lincoln?” Raven and Clarke both say at once, surprised.

“The park ranger?” Clarke asks. “That Lincoln?” she remembers him from their camping trip back in October

“He’s Octavia’s boyfriend,” Lexa replies calmly, considering they can’t say anything about it because Octavia is eighteen. “She’s not a kid anymore. It’s her condition to come with us.”

“I don’t see why not,” Anya says, with a soft sigh. She’s not in a position to object considering how Octavia is of legal age and it isn’t her business to begin with. “They’ll um… have a room to themselves then.”

“Babe, seriously?” Raven whispers, disagreeing. “That doesn’t sound responsible, what if he knocks her up?”

Lexa rolls her eyes as they discuss it and she feels like it would be stupid if they would separate Octavia from Lincoln, because obviously her friend will sneak into his room either way.

 

 **Commander:** O, you can bring Lincoln. It’s done.

 **Grounder:** Awesome, I’ll let him know.

 **Commander:** You’ll be getting your own room with him, I think. They’re kind of disagreeing for now.

 **Grounder:** I’m eighteen I can do what I want.

 **Arctic:** Who is going?

 **Commander:** Clarke and Aden are invited as well.

 **Grounder:** Okay so, the three of us, Linc, Anya, Raven, Riley, Clarke and Aden?

 **Commander:** Yup, that’s it.

 **Arctic:** I bet Raven and Anya will have their own room. O is sleeping with Linc and I guess I’ll probably be sharing with you, Lex. Who is going to share with Clarke? ;)

 **Commander:** I bet she’ll have a room with Aden.

 **Commander:** Anyway, ttyl. It’s kind of rude to be on my phone now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke excuses herself to go to the washroom. She sees Aden is enjoying the spaghetti he’s eating and she should have known that was the lunch he would want.

Lexa walks in when Clarke is washing her hands. “Aden spilled his lemonade,” she explains with a small smile, holding her hands up. “It’s a bit sticky.” She did use napkins, but that isn’t the same.

“He can be a bit clumsy sometimes,” Clarke says knowingly.

Lexa nods and moves to the sink next to Clarke’s to wash her hands. “He said he wanted to drink like a big man,” she says amusedly. “His straw went flying and when he tried to drink, he knocked his glass over because he didn’t have a good grip on it.”

“I honestly don’t know where he’s been getting this man thing from,” Clarke says earnestly. “He’s been doing that for a while with certain things.”

“Maybe because you call him your little man?” Lexa assumes, taking a guess. “He might have been picking it up from other adults though.”

“Aden gave me quite the scare about a week ago,” Clarke admits, recalling a memory. “He told me he loves Ofelia and that he would marry her just like her parents are married.”

Lexa chuckles lightly, amused to hear that. “He’s quite the character.”

“Oh you have no idea,” Clarke says lightly, having only revealed the tip of the iceberg. “This morning he asked me when he can have a baby.”

“You would be a lovely grandmother,” Lexa teases. “I think I may say a grey hair,” she continues, pointing at Clarke’s hair, which is flawless of course.

Clarke’s jaw drops. “You didn’t,” she says, shocked. She splashes some water at Lexa, laughing lightly when the girl jumps up as the cold water touches her skin.

“I can’t believe you’re splashing me again,” Lexa says, amused and shocked. “You really enjoy making me wet, don’t you?” she asks playfully, taking a step closer towards Clarke.

Clarke swallows hard when she’s being backed up against the wall. “Lexa,” she warns, shaking her head.

Lexa knits her eyebrows together in confusion. “I’m not your student anymore,” she says matter-of-factly, considering she graduated today. On top of that she is eighteen, so she isn’t underage either, which moves all of those excuses off of the table.

“I know you’re not my student anymore,” Clarke says, well aware of that fact. “But you’re young, Lexa. You’re so young… you have your whole life ahead you, with still some years in college to go and I have a son,” she explains, hoping Lexa will understand that it’s more complicated.

“Okay,” Lexa says, feeling defeated to be turned down again. She still has a spark of hope, but that spark may never flame up more than it is. It’s hard for her to accept being nothing more than friends, but if this is truly what Clarke wants, then she will learn to find peace with it.

“You’re a good friend,” Clarke whispers. “I value your friendship so much.”

“I value yours as well,” Lexa replies, backing away to give Clarke some space.

It’s painful for Clarke to reject Lexa time and time again, but she has to. She has to follow her brain and silence her heart, because the girl is simply too young and she needs to get Lexa out of her mind. It isn’t right to have feelings for someone so young, even though the girl is eighteen. She has a son for crying out loud, so she can’t be selfish to let herself get lost in this. Lexa will be off to college soon, four hours away, which wouldn’t work out well and there’s a high possibility that the girl would meet someone close to her own age. It wouldn’t be fair of her to strap down someone so young to settle with.

Lexa finishes up washing her hands and dries them, while Clarke walks away to return to the others. Regardless of how she feels, she will have to keep some distance to respect the blonde’s wishes. Despite understanding Clarke’s reasoning to reject her, it still hurts. Her age doesn’t bother her, but it clearly does bother the blonde, who seems to want someone who is slightly older. Maybe someday Clarke will stop seeing her as a kid and see that she can be quite mature.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa gets up early, while Anya, Raven and Riley are still sleeping. The sun is already shining through the window and it’s that time of the day where people are about to slowly wake up, although they might be a bit slower since it is Sunday. She puts her black shorts on which reach to around her knees and her black shock absorbing bra, along with sport shoes.

Her IPod is waiting for her on her nightstand, filled with music she has put on it to help her run. She grabs it and gently puts the in-ears in, letting the music sound directly into her ears. Running is something she tends to do from time to time, especially in the summer to get in shape.

During her run she notices a few people walking their dogs or going for a healthy run themselves. Some people must be new to it, seeing how red their faces are while their hands are on their knees as they bend over and heave. It takes time and practice to get into a balanced rhythm. She is a little rusty herself, but not too bad.

Halfway through her run, the song on her IPod keeps skipping, which annoys her. She runs further ahead as she stares at the small screen, selecting another song to hear if the skipping will stop. The second she looks up again, she’s too late to stop herself from barreling into someone, knocking both of them down.

“Ouch,” Lexa whispers quietly. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes, getting up quickly. She holds her hand out to the girl she knocked over. “It wasn’t my intention to run into you like that.”

“How would you have wanted to run into me then?” the girl asks, flashing a smile as she accepts Lexa’s hand to be pulled up.

“That’s not what I...,” Lexa says awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck. “The song on my IPod skipped. I was selecting a new song and then I just kind of accidentally bumped into you.”

“Kind of accidentally?” the girl asks. “You’re saying you might have done it kind of on purpose?”

Lexa smiles and shakes her head. “I’m Lexa, by the way,” she says, introducing herself.

“I’m Shay,” the girl replies, introducing herself as well. “Would you like to grab a cup of coffee or something sometime?”

“Yes, that would be nice,” Lexa says. “It’s the least I can do for knocking you over.”

“I could give you my number,” Shay suggests. She smiles when Lexa allows her to type her number in her phone.

“I have to run now,” Lexa says apologetically. “I’ll text you.”

“Okay,” Shay replies. “I’ll see you around, Lexa.”

Lexa runs back home, so she can take a shower to rinse off. She opens the door quietly to sneak in, but the sound she hears tells her someone is awake.  “Good morning,” she mumbles.

“Good morning, Lexa,” Anya says, while still yawning a bit. “Had a good run?” she asks, picking up a casual conversation.

“Mhm,” Lexa hums. “I’m going to take a shower, I’m all sweaty.” She’d rather talk after her shower, so she can feel refreshed and enjoy her breakfast.

“I’m going to make breakfast,” Anya says. When Lexa passes by her, she frowns deeply as she notices what her cousin has all over her back. “You have a tattoo on your back??” she asks, shocked, trying to keep her voice low because Raven and Riley are still sleeping. “Lexa… when did you have this done?”

Lexa sighs and turns around. “Yes, I have a tattoo on my back,” she replies dryly. Her cousin already knew about the one on her collarbone, which had been noticed before, but she hadn’t told Anya she has an even bigger one all over her back. “I’m eighteen and it’s my body.”

“Well yes, but… you could have told me,” Anya replies disbelievingly. “That’s a permanent thing. I’m your guardian I have a right to know stuff like this.”

“It’s there, I like it, let’s not make a fuss about it,” Lexa says coldly, not being in the mood to argue about her tattoos. Either way, she would have gotten them, with or without Anya’s permission.

“I’m just surprised,” Anya says, not wanting to make a fuss. “Anyway, I’m going to make breakfast.”

“I’ll be in the shower,” Lexa replies, quickly walking away before Anya would ask why she has that particular tattoo. Only Octavia and Ontari know that it’s copied from something Clarke sketched, because it appealed so much to her due to the passion in the way it was drawn that she had to have it. She half-smirks when Raven walks out of her bedroom, dressed in a tank top and red underwear. “Good morning to you too,” she whispers, teasingly winking at the Latina.

Raven smiles, now being fully used to getting comments like that from Lexa, which is mostly her fault for the way she walks around at times. “I can say the same,” she teases back, returning Lexa’s wink.

“You can have the bathroom when I’m done,” Lexa says. “I’m all sweaty.”

“Fair enough.”

 

 


	39. Summer vacation

“Are you sure you don’t want to ride with us?” Anya asks Lexa. She wouldn’t mind giving her cousin a ride, to ensure she arrives safely.

“I’m sure,” Lexa confirms. “I’d rather go on my motorcycle, O and Ri will be doing the same,” she explains. She wants to feel the wind in her hair rather than being cooked up in the car for a few hours. “You can give Clarke and Aden a ride,” she suggests.

“That’s a good idea,” Raven agrees. “I’ll text Clarke to let her know.”

“I’ll see y’all at the hotel,” Lexa says, picking up her helmet. She does leave her suitcase so they can put it in the trunk of the car.

“There you are,” Ontari grins when Lexa finally steps outside. “We’ve been waiting here for ten minutes.”

Lexa smiles and puts her helmet on, happy to see her friends. She sees that Octavia already brought Lincoln with her, who must trust her driving skills considering he’s on the back of her motorcycle. “I’m ready to hit the road,” she says, swinging her leg over her motorcycle.

“You go first,” Octavia says. “I’ll follow you.” She doesn’t fully know the way, so following Lexa is easier for her and it’s not like she’s faster anyway. “Hold on tight, Lincoln.”

“If we hurry we can get there within two hours,” Lexa says. “We could check in before the rest gets there.” She starts her motorcycle, hearing her engine roar lightly.

Octavia pulls up right after Lexa does, following her to stay right on her tail. She’s happy that she can get away for a week, to have fun with her friends and her boyfriend. Her mother has been rather displeased about her relationship with Lincoln now that she’s not hiding it anymore, because her mother isn’t happy about the age difference. It doesn’t bother her, but her family thinks differently about that. After her graduation she received a lecture from her mother and even Bellamy had the guts to lecture her. She made it clear that she won’t stop seeing Lincoln because she loves him. This week is exactly what she needs to escape for a while and she can hardly wait to go to college, so she can escape again.

Ontari grumbles silently due to the weight of her backpack on her shoulders. She didn’t pack that many clothes, because most of what she has packed is swimsuits. Roan seemed a bit jealous or something when she told him about the vacation, but she knows her brother will be fine and at least now he can take his dates home as much as he pleases. Usually when Roan dates someone, he goes to their place because she can either get grumpy or hungrily stare women down when he takes them home. The last time her brother brought a woman home, it ended with the woman sneaking into her room, wanting her instead of him. It wasn’t pretty for Roan, but he got over it fast.

Lexa feels the wind blowing through her hair faster as she speeds up. During her vacation at the beach she can do various activities. If the water is warm enough, she can go for early swims or even late ones. The sudden realization that Clarke will most likely wear a bathing suit or a bikini at one moment or another makes her swallow hard and makes her thoughts travel to places. She did go out with Shay a few times and she’s a sweet girl, but so far their contact has been nothing but friendly. A couple days ago Anya and Raven both met Shay when she stayed over for dinner, which wasn’t too bad. It doesn’t matter who she tries to date because all she can think about is Clarke.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Grab your bag, baby,” Clarke says sweetly to Aden. “Raven and Anya will be here soon to pick us up.”

Aden obediently grabs his little superman bag. “I have my bag, mommy,” he says, holding it up for her to see.

“That’s good, sweetie,” Clarke replies with a smile. “Okay, let’s go. We’re going on a vacation.” She grabs her suitcase and walks towards the door to go outside.

“I will help you, mommy,” Aden says softly, reaching his hand out to help with her suitcase.

Clarke smiles brightly and allows Aden to wrap his hand around it, keeping the suitcase as low as possible so he can reach it, even though she’s carrying all the weight. “You’re so strong,” she says, trying to sound impressed. “Mommy’s strong little helper.”

Aden giggles and proudly holds his head up higher.

Clarke locks the door once they’re outside and she sees that Raven and Anya are already waiting for them. “Okay baby, get in the car,” she says softly. She opens the door so Aden can get in and while he gets in she puts her suitcase in the trunk of the car.

“Hey, Aden,” Raven says while she helps him with his seatbelt. “Are you ready for our vacation?”

“Yes,” Aden replies with a toothy smile.

Clarke gets in the back of the car, settling herself next to Aden and Riley. “I appreciate the lift,” she says thankfully.

“We had space left,” Raven replies. “We’re going to the same place anyway, so we might as well.”

“I packed extra sunscreen,” Anya says. “Mostly for the children, so they wouldn’t get burned.”

“I packed a bunch of sunscreen as well,” Clarke says, having thought about that too. “Aden tends to burn when it’s warm outside. I know we’ll only be gone for a week, but I have five bottles of sunscreen, just in case.”

“You’re both unbelievable,” Raven laughs. “We’ll sure have enough sunscreen.”

“It’s better to be safe than sorry,” Clarke retorts with a serious tone. She’d rather have way more sunscreen than needed than not having enough of it and risking that Aden would get sunburned.

“Don’t worry that you would be overbearing, Clarke,” Anya says, to assure her that she isn’t. “A few days ago Riley was crawling around and Raven picked her up because she didn’t want her to scrape her knees or something.”

“Okay, okay,” Raven says, sighing. “Sometimes I might be a little bit overbearing,” she admits.

“You’re new to motherhood,” Clarke says thoughtfully. “Don’t worry if it takes a while to find your balance.”

“Would you mind it if we would play this music?” Anya asks Clarke, holding up a CD with kids music. “Riley tends to giggle and coo to the songs.”

“I don’t mind, you can play it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“This is the hotel we’ll be staying at?” Octavia asks disbelievingly. She looks up at the tall building, which appears to be quite close to the beach, so this location is perfect. “It looks fancy.”

“Yup, this is it,” Lexa confirms after checking the address twice.

“Damn the others are slow,” Ontari comments.

“To be fair we did leave earlier than they did,” Lexa says. “And they still had to pick Clarke and Aden up, so that must have slowed them down somewhat as well.”

“Lex is right,” Octavia agrees. “Plus we’re faster on our motorcycles.”

“They will probably arrive in an hour tops,” Lexa guesses.

“Are we going to check in or what?” Ontari asks impatiently. “Hey, Linc, you don’t talk much do you?”

“I am a man of few words,” Lincoln replies

Octavia grabs Lincoln’s hand and smiles at him. “I hope they picked up the suitcase I left outside,” she says, thinking about the suitcase she left outside Anya’s door so they would put it in the car.

“I’m sure they noticed,” Lexa assures Octavia. “Okay, let’s check in.” She enters the hotel and walks straight up to the lobby, waiting in the small line.

“I wonder if the rooms are divided already,” Ontari says. “Or if maybe we’re supposed to divide them once everyone is here.”

“Hello,” Lexa says friendly, ready to check in. “We are here to check in,” she explains.

“Hello, welcome to our hotel,” the lady replies with a kind smile. “Reservation?”

“Yes, Woods reservation,” Lexa says. She watches how the lady checks her computer. “The rest of our party isn’t here yet,” she adds, in case the lady would be confused why there are only four of them when there are supposed to be nine.

“Ah yes,” the lady says. “I have the reservation right here.” She hands Lexa four keys. “These are the keys to your rooms.”

“Thank you,” Lexa politely replies as she accepts the keys. When she turns around she sees that Octavia is already pressing the button of the elevator.

“Four rooms,” Ontari hums as she looks at the keys.

“I’m guessing there is one for Anya, Raven and Riley, one for Clarke and Aden, one for Octavia and Lincoln and the fourth must be for us.”

“Sounds good to me,” Octavia says, holding on tighter to Lincoln.

Ontari rolls her eyes and gets in the elevator the moment the doors slide open. “Which floor are we on?” she asks Lexa.

“Hmm,” Lexa says as she studies the keys. “The twentieth floor, not that high.”

“Maybe not with the elevator, but you wouldn’t see me doing those stairs,” Ontari replies dryly. She huffs and presses the button of the twentieth floor.

“It would be a good workout, good for my legs.”

“Ugh, you’re not going to wake me up in the morning when you go for a job or something are you?”

“Which time do you go out to run?” Lincoln asks Lexa, interested.

“Around six, usually.”

“May I join you?” Lincoln asks, not wanting to be in the way. “I run frequently and I keep busy with a variety of sports.”

“I um… I want to come along as well,” Octavia says, trying to sound as if she always runs. “It’ll be good for my condition.”

“Y’all are crazy,” Ontari groans. “You can have fun running, but I’m staying in bed.”

Lexa is used to run alone, although recently she ran with Shay a few times. “I don’t mind,” she says kindly. It’s okay if Octavia and Lincoln want to join her for her runs.

“Ugh gross,” Ontari mumbles quietly when Octavia kisses Lincoln. “Get a room already,” she says bluntly when her friend is being lifted up.

“We plan to,” Octavia says with a wink.

“Hey, Lex, I want the room furthest away from O,” Ontari announces bluntly, not in the mood to have a room next to Octavia and Lincoln.

“We’ll take the room next to Clarke’s,” Lexa says, handing Octavia a key. “Yours is down the hall, next to Anya’s.” She holds up the key she’s selecting for her own room. “Ours is on the other end, next to Clarke’s,” she says to Ontari. From the way the rooms are divided, she guesses she was supposed to have the room next to Octavia and Lincoln, but oh well. First here, first to choose.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Anya frowns when she sees how the rooms are divided, because that’s not quite how she planned it.

“Too late,” Lexa says calmly, grabbing her suitcase and putting it down at the door of the room she’s taking with Ontari, which is next to Clarke’s. “I already called dibs.”

“Yeah,” Ontari says, agreeing with Lexa. “We’re not taking the room next to Octavia and Lincoln.”

“I guess we should move to the other end of the hall then,” Raven says to Anya, shrugging about it. She’s fine with any room, as long as the bed is good.

“I guess so,” Anya says, picking Riley up along with a suitcase. “We’re going to the beach once we’re done unpacking,” she informs them. “See you all there?”

“We’ll be there,” Lexa replies. She lifts her suitcase up so she can further settle herself in the room she chose with Ontari.

“Gotta love this king-sized bed,” Ontari points out, dropping herself on top of it. “Should I wear my black bikini or my white one?”

“Hmm,” Lexa says, zipping her suitcase open. “I’ll be wearing my black bathing suit. Either will look good on you.”

“What?” Ontari says surprised. “You’re not going to wear a bikini?”

“No,” Lexa confirms.

“I’m definitely going to wear a bikini,” Ontari decides. “You’ll be hiding your tattoo, that’s a shame.”

“That’s the point,” Lexa replies dryly. She doesn’t want to show her tattoo off, because she has no idea how Clarke will respond and she doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable. It could send out the wrong signal and that’s not her intention.

“Ugh,” Ontari groans when there is someone slamming on their door. “I’m not opening up,” she says, annoyed. “Come in!” she shouts.

Lexa frowns when the noise doesn’t stop, so she walks up to the door to open it.

“Lessa,” Aden says with a big smile.

“Oh hey, little buddy,” Lexa replies sweetly, crouching down to hug Aden.

“Okay then,” Ontari sighs when Aden climbs into the bed and lies down next to her. “Yo, sup?”

Lexa shuts the door and returns to her suitcase, unpacking her clothes. She selects a big white shirt, to toss over her bathing suit once she puts it on.

Ontari picks Aden up and holds him above her head like an airplane.

“Superman,” Aden coos. “I can fly.”

Ontari chuckles and continues to move Aden. “I don’t blame you for liking this kid,” she says to Lexa.

Lexa is about to step into the bathroom to get changed when she hears Clarke shouting down the hall, clearly looking for Aden. “Hold up,” she says to Ontari. She runs into the hall, where the blonde is running around, frantically searching for her son. “He’s with me.”

“I should have guessed,” Clarke replies, now that she thinks of it. “I was unpacking and then the next moment he was suddenly gone, always sneaky.”

“He’s a bit busy being superman,” Lexa says lightly.

“I need to steal him back for a moment,” Clarke says softly. “Without sunscreen he’ll get sunburned.”

“I can take care of that,” Lexa offers. “He’s in my room anyway.” She wouldn’t mind, it’s just a small task and she’s heading towards the beach soon anyway.

“Okay,” Clarke gives in. “Make sure to put enough on his face too, and don’t forget his nose.” She doesn’t want Aden to get sunburned because then he’ll cry.

“Will do,” Lexa guarantees. “Oh and Clarke,” she says quickly, before Clarke walks back into her room. “Closing your door would be helpful if you don’t want to lose Aden.” She doesn’t want to sound like she’s reprimanding the blonde, but what she’s saying is true because if Clarke wouldn’t have left her door wide open, then Aden wouldn’t have walked out.

Clarke stares while Lexa walks back into her room and she can’t believe she’s being taught another lesson by the girl again. She would have said something back if it hadn’t been for Lexa being absolutely right and she’s lucky that Aden went to the girl’s room, and didn’t walk further away near the stairs or something where he could have fallen. In moments like this she wonders if she’s a good mother and closing the door is something she should know and pay attention to.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Whoa, not so fast,” Lexa says, picking Aden up before he can step onto the sand. “The sand is warm here, you would hurt your feet,” she explains as she steps onto it with her flip-flops.

“You’re being such a mum,” Ontari comments, amused.

Lexa rolls her eyes and continues to walk to the area closer to the water where Anya and Raven have set up a parasol to have some shadow. She puts Aden down under it, on top of a towel and notices Clarke is wearing a light blue bikini, which does her eyes justice.

Clarke looks up, drinking Lexa in and oh god does the girl look good in that black bathing suit of hers. She can see Lexa is lean and in a very good shape, and when she meets green eyes she realizes she has been staring like a lion would look hungrily at a lamb.

“Nice tattoo, Ontari,” Raven comments when she notices the tattoo on Ontari’s back.

“Thanks,” Ontari mumbles. “I’m going in the water.”

“I think I’m going to rent a surfboard,” Lexa says, glancing at a place where they’re renting them out. “Anyway want to join?” she asks, checking how many she should rent.

“I’m in,” Octavia says, while smiling at Lincoln. “We both are.”

“Surfing sounds good,” Ontari agrees, nodding to try it as well.

“I’m staying with Riley,” Anya says. “You can go if you want,” she says to Raven.

“Okay,” Raven says. “Then I’m in too.”

“Clarke?” Lexa asks, hoping Clarke will say yes and hoping even more the blonde will suck at it so she can help her.

“I’m staying here with Aden,” Clarke replies regretfully. She can’t leave her son alone like that.

“I can watch him,” Anya offers. “I’ll build a sand castle with Riley and Aden.”

“Okay, but only for a little bit,” Clarke relents. Even though Anya will watch over Aden, she doesn’t want to leave his side too long. “Make sure he doesn’t run away, he can be sneaky sometimes.”

“I’ll attach him to my hip,” Anya replies teasingly. She knows Clarke is only expressing her motherly concern, but it’ll be okay, she knows what she’s doing.

Clarke can see who Lexa gets her special attitude from, because clearly that seems to run in the family and as far as she can tell from the girl’s amused smile, she knows it too. If Lexa behaves this time, she might not splash water on her.

 


	40. Time at the beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have another, because it's friyay :)

Lexa smiles when Clarke ends up in the water mere seconds after trying to stand up.

“Very funny,” Clarke says, not amused. It’s frustrating how she keeps trying while she keeps falling.

“You should try to lie down on it and peddle,” Lexa suggests. “Or you could sit on it,” she adds. She grabs Clarke’s board and taps on it. “Sit, I’ll help you.”

“You know how to surf?” Clarke asks, not sure if she believes that because so far she hasn’t seen Lexa doing much with her board.

“Lex is good at lots of sports,” Ontari says, having overheard their conversation. “It’s surreal how athletic she is.”

Lexa clears her throat and signals Ontari with her eyes to leave, which thankfully her friend understands.

“Hey, O, wait up!” Ontari calls out, peddling her way towards Octavia.

Clarke hesitantly sits down on her board, ready to follow Lexa’s instructions. What she wasn’t ready for, however, is the way the girl subtly touches her, making her questioning if it’s a coincidence or on purpose.

“You have to become one with your board,” Lexa says, sitting down behind Clarke and holding her hands to move them. She’s aware this isn’t the way most people teach someone how to surf and she normally wouldn’t teach anyone to surf this way, but this isn’t anyone, this is Clarke. “Steady your breathing.”

Clarke wishes she could steady her breathing, but it’s nearly impossible to breathe normal each time Lexa is near. She would snap something back about how she can’t possibly regulate her breathing with the girl so near, but she decides against it because she has to be strong and pretend she can resist Lexa at all times.

Lexa stands up on the board and pulls Clarke up with her, wrapping one arm around her waist, but the motion causes the blonde to flinch and they both tumble down into the water.

Clarke splutters and coughs up some water. “It was unexpected,” she excuses herself. “I didn’t know you were going to do that, I wasn’t prepared.”

“Okay,” Lexa replies, accepting Clarke’s excuse. “My bad, I should have warned you,” she says, although she doesn’t believe a wa    rning would have made a difference.

“Yes, that would be helpful,” Clarke says calmly. Her skin still burns from where Lexa touched her and that second was enough to make her head spin.

“Ready to try again?” Lexa asks, hopping onto her board and holding her arm out for Clarke.

“I think I’ll just swim for a while now,” Clarke replies, not feeling like getting on that board again. “Perhaps tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Lexa says, letting it go. She notices a few good waves ahead and decides to catch them, although partially she wants to do so to show Clarke that she can surf.

Clarke’s eyes are glued onto Lexa as she watches the girl gliding on and under the waves as if the board is attached to her feet somehow. She might never be able to do that, but if she practices a lot she might be able to do a few basics.

“It’s a shame Anya isn’t in the water,” Raven says as she swims up next to Clarke. “She’s good at surfing too, just like Lexa, maybe even better because she’s the one who taught Lexa how to surf.”

“Anya must be quite impressive then. I could watch Riley once I get out the water in a bit and then she can come in if she wants.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa plops down next to where Clarke is sitting on a towel. “Time to get a tan,” she says, smiling.

“That might have been easier if you’d be wearing a bikini,” Clarke replies, though grateful Lexa isn’t wearing a bikini because she can already hardly breathe as it is. She takes a sip from her bottle of water to stay hydrated.

“With that theory I might as well lay down naked,” Lexa retorts. She smiles to herself when Clarke spills some of her water. “Aden, come here buddy,” she says, holding a closed fist out.

Aden turns around from his sand castle. “Yes, Lessa?” he asks sweetly.

“Hold your hands out,” Lexa instructs. She waits for him to hold his hands open towards her and then she opens her fist, revealing a handful of shells. “You can decorate your sand castle with those,” she explains, seeing Aden smile with big wide eyes. She picked them up after she got out of the water.

“Thank you, Lessa!!” Aden shouts happily. He giggles and runs back to his sandcastle.

Clarke appreciates the little sweet things Lexa does for Aden, all those little details the girl doesn’t have to do, but does anyway, simply to put a smile on her son’s face.

Lexa puts her sunglasses on and notices some cocktails bars on the beach. “I’m going to get a fruity cocktail,” she announces as she stands up. “Do you want one?”

“You’re eighteen,” Clarke points out. “You shouldn’t be drinking.”

“Eighteen and a half,” Lexa replies, if Clarke wants to go all age stuff on her. She has been drinking lots of times and this is a vacation. It’s not like she plans on getting drunk, she just wants a fruity cocktail so she can enjoy it.

“You have to be nineteen to drink,” Clarke says matter-of-factly. Of course she’s no fool and she can tell Lexa is used to drink when she wants to, but legally the girl shouldn’t be drinking.

“Watch me,” Lexa says challengingly. She walks up to the closest cocktail bar to get her fruity cocktail, which surprise no surprise, she gets without even being asked to show her ID. Eighteen, nineteen, potato, potato. She orders a second one for Clarke, in case she does want one and if she doesn’t she’ll just keep them both to herself.

“The water feels good,” Anya says, matting her hair and sitting down on her towel.

“Should Lexa be drinking?” Clarke asks Anya. “She’s not nineteen yet.”

Anya looks up right at the moment Lexa returns with two cocktails. “She can drink as long as she is being responsible about it,” she says, being fine with it.

Lexa is not okay with Clarke mothering her or anything like that and trying to tell her what the rules would be. “Cocktail?” she asks Anya, holding one out to her, considering she just decided not to give it to Clarke.

“Thanks,” Anya says as she accepts the cocktail and sips from it. “Mhm, fruity.”

Lexa walks towards the water to let it wash over her feet so she can relax for a while and not be around Clarke.

“I know you have been Lexa’s teacher,” Anya says to Clarke, now that Lexa isn’t around. “You may have felt a certain responsibility for her then, but I do not appreciate it if you’re telling her what she should or shouldn’t do.”

Clarke realizes she made a mistake by doing that. “You’re right,” she admits. “I’m sorry.”

Anya shakes her head. “It’s not me who you should be apologizing to,” she says thoughtfully, glancing at Lexa. She knows her cousin well enough to know that she must be a bit upset and it wasn’t a fair position for Lexa to stand by them and hear how Clarke asked her if she should be drinking. Personally she has no issues with her cousin drinking every once in a while.

Clarke stands up and walks over towards the water. “Lexa,” she whispers softly.

Lexa turns around and looks at Clarke. “What?” she asks coldly, wondering what she wants now.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke apologizes. “I shouldn’t tell you what to do or what not to do, it’s not my place.”

“Okay,” Lexa replies, sipping from her fruity cocktail. “I accept your apology.” She empties her glass and walks away to return the glass to the cocktail bar.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I almost forgot,” Anya says to Lexa, reaching into her bag as they’re about to have dinner. “Shay stopped by right before we left,” she explains. “She asked me to give this to you.”

Lexa looks at the IPod that’s being handed to her and it’s considerate Shay gave her that, considering hers had started to skip more on songs, which was annoying and she had told her about it during their last few runs together. “Thanks,” she mumbles to Anya, tucking it away in her pocket.

“It’s a shame Shay isn’t here,” Anya goes on as she takes a seat. “She’s a very nice girl.”

“I can go out again with her once I’m home,” Lexa replies calmly, not bothered by Shay not being around. “There’s a chance she’ll be going to Polis,” she announces.

“Sweet,” Ontari says. “Always nice to know more people.”

Clarke quietly takes a seat and she can’t help but feel a little bit jealous to hear Lexa has been seeing someone, although she should be happy for the girl. Perhaps Lexa has been moving on and obviously she should do the same rather than secretly hungrily preying on a girl who is too young for her.

“I’ll have to set my alarm for tomorrow morning,” Octavia says, sighing. She regrets it a little bit that she told Lexa she wants to run as well, because she’s not used to doing that and the only reason she wants to go is because Lincoln will. “I’m going to my room after dinner.” She doesn’t plan to stay up late, considering her sleep is important.

“Babe, we should go to our room after dinner as well,” Raven says to Anya. “Riley needs to sleep, she looks tired.”

Anya smiles when Riley yawns. “Aww sweetie,” she whispers. “We’ll get you to bed soon.”

“Mommy,” Riley mumbles sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

“I know,” Anya whispers.

Lexa puts her cutlery down. “I’m done eating,” she says, having had enough. “Come here, sweetie,” she whispers to Riley, picking her up. “Take your time,” she says to Anya and Raven. “I’ll bring her to bed.”

“Thank you, Lexa,” Raven says gratefully.

“We appreciate it,” Anya adds. It makes her happy how helpful Lexa is being.

“Lessa,” Aden whines while stretching his arms out. “I’m sleepy too.”

Lexa doubts if Aden is truly sleepy and if it isn’t just him noticing how she’s about to leave with Riley. “Aw okay,” she replies, placing the little girl on her left hip so she can place Aden on her right hip.

“I’ll go with you,” Clarke says, dropping her cutlery and quickly taking a sip from her water. “I ate enough and they don’t sleep in the same room.”

Lexa looks at Clarke’s plate, noticing half of the food is still on it. “Okay,” she says, agreeing to let the blonde come with, since the part about the rooms is true.

Clarke holds her hands out for Aden, but he stubbornly shakes his head and clings on to Lexa, unbelievable.

Lexa walks up to the elevator and sighs, hoisting the children up higher. “Would you mind?” she asks Clarke, nodding her head towards the button. “I kind of have my hands full.”

Clarke presses the button so they can wait for the elevator. “I think Aden will miss you once you’re off to college,” she says sadly.

“Aden or you?” Lexa curiously questions, hoping it won’t be just Aden who will be missing her.

“Both,” Clarke admits. “I will miss you in my class. It’ll be different without you.”

“I’m sure you’ll have at least one rebel attending your class.”

“You were a bit of a rebel at times, but overall you weren’t so bad at all.”

“Shh don’t tell others,” Lexa replies amusedly, playing. “People at Arkadia still think I’m a rebel.”

“Ah yes of course,” Clarke says with a smile. “I wouldn’t want them to think you’re actually a cinnamon roll who is incredibly sweet towards children.”

“There is no way I’m a cinnamon roll,” Lexa retorts, disagreeing because she isn’t that soft. If anything, she’s a tough cookie. “Unless you’re hungry for dessert, then I could be a cinnamon roll.” She watches how Clarke’s cheek turn a dark shade of red and she gives herself a mental high-five.

Clarke is relieved when the doors of the elevator whoosh open so they can get in, which she does immediately, eagerly pressing the button for the twentieth floor. It’s amazing how even around the children Lexa dares to be naughty like that and if she had a whip or something she would show her, but those are thoughts she shouldn’t be thinking about.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Goodnight, Riley,” Lexa whispers sweetly, tucking Riley in.

“Les,” Riley mumbles, placing the palm of her right hand against Lexa’s cheek and smiling at her.

“I think she likes you,” Clarke whispers to Lexa. Not that she’s surprised by that at all, because the girl is a natural with children, which she keeps noticing.

“Of course she likes me,” Lexa replies as if it would be obvious. “She’s family.”

“Are you implying family automatically likes you?”

“Well… not really,” Lexa says thoughtfully, thinking about her mother. “Riley likes me because she’s young and adorable. Once she’s a teenager she might not like me so much anymore, unless I stay cool.”

“Oh, right,” Clarke says sarcastically. “What a lovely logic.”

“Lessa, I want a story,” Aden whines, tapping her arm. “Please, Lessa.”

“I have to get you to your room first,” Lexa whispers, lifting Aden up. She glances questioningly at Clarke. “I must say I didn’t think he would still call me Lessa now that his speech has been improving,” she comments. “It’s cute though,” she adds as an afterthought.

“I think he calls you that out of habit and also because nobody has been correcting him.”

Lexa follows Clarke into her room and gently puts Aden down on the bed. She sits down on the edge, waiting to tell him a bedtime story.

Clarke grabs Aden’s pajamas and chuckles when he snatches them from her to get changed all by himself, like the little man he is. The amusing part is how her son puts the top piece of his pajama on backwards, but she’s proud of him for trying.

“That’s a cool pajama you have,” Lexa whispers impressed. “Superman,” she says aloud. “Can you show me where superman is?”

Aden nods and points towards his stomach, but when he doesn’t see superman, he frowns.

Lexa chuckles lightly and taps Aden’s back. “I believe superman is hiding here,” she says teasingly.

“Cut it out,” Clarke says, chuckling. She carefully corrects Aden’s pajama so he can see superman on his stomach again. To stop Lexa from laughing, she throws a pillow at her.

Aden giggles and grabs a pillow to copy his mother and throw it at Lexa.

“Oh no you didn’t,” Lexa says, catching both pillows. “If you want to start that two against one stuff again, you’re going down this time.”

“Play!” Aden shouts, jumping up and down the bed.

“Look who suddenly isn’t so tired anymore,” Lexa points out.

“Time to sleep,” Clarke says to Aden. “It will be late soon.”

“Did you make any plans for your birthday yet?” Lexa asks curiously, aware that Clarke’s birthday is coming up. She already heard Raven talking about a gift and such. “You’ll be turning twenty-seven, right?”

Clarke cringes lightly to have her age mentioned. Not that she is getting old, but is does point out once again how big the age gap is between them. Well big is a relevant concept, but Lexa is only eighteen while she is about to be twenty-seven, which leaves nine years between them. “I haven’t really made plans yet, but I will eventually,” she answers.

“You could throw a party, if you want,” Lexa suggests. “Raven might make some chocolate cake.”

“I must admit that does sound good,” Clarke replies. “Hold that thought,” she says when Aden whines for a bedtime story.

“You can be the duck and I’ll be the dinosaur,” Lexa says teasingly.

“Again with the duck?” Clarke playfully whines. “I happen to be a very special duck.”

“Yes, you’re the one from that story where you turn into a gorgeous swan.”

“Are you saying I’m an ugly duckling?”

The corner of Lexa’s lips hint towards a smile as she becomes aware of how Clarke has been leaning in and she has a feeling that no matter where they are they will always be drawn together like magnets. She wants to give in to this delicious temptation that’s within her reach and slowly drown herself in it, a bit at first and then all at once.

Clarke’s breath catches in the back of her throat when she’s close enough to smell the fruity remainders on Lexa’s lips. She wants to kiss the girl, but she has to remind herself that Lexa is seeing someone, from what she caught from Anya’s words earlier and not to forget how the girl will be off to college four hours away once this summer break is over. Then of course there is the difference in their ages and the fact that she has a son, so everything in a nutshell, she shouldn’t do this and yet there’s that’s small silly part of her that wants to, despite all the cons.

Lexa softly cups Clarke’s cheeks and backs away, being the one to retreat this time because her heart can’t handle having the blonde pulling away from her again. Each time they get so close and yet Clarke doesn’t give in, because there will always be some sort of excuse, so for now she will patiently wait, holding on to that spark of hope she has that perhaps someday they can be more than friends. She could ask herself if waiting will truly be worth it, but one look at these two beautiful amazing people who are with her in this room is enough to tell her that it’s more than worth it. If she has to wait weeks, then she will wait weeks and if she has to wait months then she will wait months, or even years. Whatever it takes because in her heart she knows they are meant to be.

“Bedtime story,” Aden pleads, breaking the silence between Lexa and Clarke, along with the tension he wasn’t aware of. “Pleaseeee,” he whines, growing impatient.

Clarke smiles and caresses Aden’s cheek. “Once upon a time there was a young prince,” she begins.

“And he could fly like superman,” Lexa adds. “He had his own dinosaur and duck, because he didn’t want a horse.”

“I’m not the du-”

“A duck named Clarke.”

 


	41. Pushing buttons

“You’re so screwed.”

Lexa sighs and rolls to her side to face Ontari. “I already know that,” she says, well aware.

“She must be really special to you, damn,” Ontari says impressed, due to all the things Lexa has done for Clarke so far. “If you ask me, I’d say she’s been giving you mixed signals. For example that bouquet on Valentine. That wasn’t exactly a friendly type of gesture and she wasn’t kidding with it either. Now those balloons O and I had placed in your room that was a joke.”

“Oh yes, my room filled with balloons full of spit and whatnot was very funny.”

“I guess it would have been gross if you popped them,” Ontari admits. “But anyway, my point is that she’s been giving you mixed signals, with that whole hot and cold act she’s got going on.”

“I don’t think she has the intention to give me mixed signals,” Lexa says defensively. “She’s probably just as confused as her signals are.”

“Hmm, I hadn’t looked at it like that. You think a lot about her and about how she feels.”

“She is important to me. I’ll always care about her feelings.”

“Why her though?” Ontari asks curiously. “You’re Lexa Woods. You could easily get ten girls on each finger, why do you want an older woman who has a kid?”

“When you meet someone special no other person matters. I don’t see Aden as a burden in any way, if anything, he’s a bonus.”

“Okay, Lex, whatever makes you happy,” Ontari relents, sighing. “I just don’t want you to get hurt so much anymore.”

“It’s sweet that you want to look out for me, but I’ll be fine,” Lexa assures Ontari. “Are you sure you don’t want to run with me in the morning?”

“Ugh, at six in the morning?” Ontari groans. “That’s crazy.”

“I’m going to try to sleep, it’s getting late,” Lexa says, yawning. “Goodnight, Ri.”

“Goodnight, Lex.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Couldn’t wake her up?” Lexa asks Lincoln amusedly, IPod in her hand.

“She was peaceful asleep,” Lincoln replies. “I didn’t want to disturb her sleep, so I turned her alarm off.”

“You probably did the right thing,” Lexa concludes, guessing. “She won’t be up for a few more hours and we’ll already be back by then.”

“I saw you surfing the other day,” Lincoln says as he pushes the button for the elevator. “You’re quite skilled.”

“Thank you,” Lexa replies politely. “When I was younger I used to go surfing with Anya a lot. “I was six when we went surfing together for the first time during a very hot summer. She was seventeen back then and the way she could surf looked cool to me, so she taught me how to surf.”

“You must have a lot of memories about your cousin,” Lincoln notes.

“Yeah, I do,” Lexa confirms. “It was a bit of a surprise when I got dropped at her door when I was thirteen though.” The memory still saddens her from time to time.

“That must have been hard on you.”

“I think it was even harder on Anya, to suddenly have a young teenager at her doorstep,” Lexa says. She smiles softly when the doors of the elevator open. “Anyway, that’s in the past now. Soon I’ll be off to college.”

“You both pulled through it,” Lincoln points out.

“How does it feel for you to spend time with Octavia for a week?”

“It’s a relief,” Lincoln says earnestly. “Octavia’s mother and brother they...erm,” he says hesitantly. “They don’t agree with our relationship.”

“It’s not up to Octavia’s mother and her brother to agree with the relationship you have with her, because they’re not the ones in it and as much as they may be displeased, it’s Octavia’s happiness and yours that matters.”

“I hope you will have that happiness someday, Lexa.”

“Yeah,” Lexa sighs, smiling weakly. “I hope so too.”

“Clarke must have a lot swimming through her mind, considering she has a son.”

Lexa is startled by Lincoln’s words. “You know?” she asks surprised. “Did Octavia tell you?”

Lincoln smiles gently and shakes his head. “It is impossible not to notice when paying attention.”

“Raven and Anya don’t know though,” Lexa says, thinking about it. “Not that I know of at least.” She assumes they would have said something if they would have noticed, but they’re probably too busy with their own little world and with Riley of course.

“My lips are sealed,” Lincoln promises.

“You’re a nice man,” Lexa says truthfully. She has rarely met a guy as decent as Lincoln and quite frankly the only other decent guy she knows is Roan. “Make no mistake though, if you hurt Octavia I’ll cut you.”

Lincoln chuckles at that. “Fair enough,” he replies softly.

When the doors of the elevator open again, Lexa gets out and leaves the hotel, along with Lincoln. She glances at her IPod and decides not to use it for now, considering it would be antisocial and rude now that she’s not alone and she can see he didn’t bring any music.

“We could run along the beach,” Lincoln suggests, pointing with his index finger.

“Sure,” Lexa agrees. She notices a few other early joggers running around along the beach. It’s warm outside, but not to the point where she’d go and hide in the shadows. She uses the hair-tie she has around her wrist to tie her hair up, which helps to keep it out of her face while she runs.

“If I need to slow down, you can tell me,” Lincoln says kindly, not wanting to push Lexa past her limit. “I tend to run faster than most, when I’m alone.”

“Don’t slow down on my account,” Lexa says, smiling at Lincoln’s ridiculous words. If anything, she might have to slow down for him so he can keep up with her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning,” Clarke says to Raven and Anya, joining them for breakfast.

“Good morning, Clarke,” Anya replies with a smile.

“Morning,” Raven mumbles right before biting in a croissant. “Mhmm, this is good,” she silently moans. “You should try the hot chocolate, Clarke.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Clarke replies, reaching out to grab a mug.

“I wish we would have a chocolate fountain like that at home,” Raven says, ogling the chocolate fountain where they can fill up their mug as much as they please.

“Stay here, Aden,” Clarke instructs, getting up. “Mommy will bring some for you,” she promises.

Riley is sitting on Anya’s lap, chewing on pieces of banana and apple.

Raven puts a croissant on Aden’s plate. “Here you go,” she says sweetly.

“Thank you,” Aden replies politely.

“Good morning,” Octavia says, yawning and stretching her arms. She’s surprised that her alarm didn’t wake her up, but she has a feeling Lincoln had something to do with that.

“Good morning, Octavia.”

Octavia awkwardly takes a seat, seeing that Lincoln and Lexa aren’t back yet. She had hoped to meet them at breakfast, although she usually stays in bed a bit longer when she can. “Ohh, a chocolate fountain,” she says upon noticing the chocolate fountain.

“It’s delicious,” Raven says.

“I’ll be right back,” Octavia says, hurrying to get some hot chocolate. The breakfast makes her mouth water and she sure is hungry. “Good morning,” she says to Clarke as she passes by her.

“Good morning, Octavia,” Clarke replies with half a smile.

“Chocolate fountain!!” Ontari shouts.

Octavia laughs when Ontari shows up next to her, filling two mugs at once. “One day you’ll turn into chocolate,” she says teasingly, knowing how much her friend enjoys chocolate.

“Then I’d probably eat my own fingers,” Ontari replies.

“Chocoholic,” Octavia says, chuckling. She fills her mug so she can go back to their table to eat breakfast. “I think Lincoln and Lexa are still out running.”

“Nah, I passed by them when I get into the elevator,” Ontari explains. “They just got back as I was going down.”

“Oh okay in that case they should be joining us soon.”

“Chocolate croissants,” Ontari says, noticing them on their table. She sits down and fills her plate with it, ignoring the stares she’s receiving.

“How did you all sleep?” Octavia asks awkwardly, unsure what to do. She feels out of place without Lincoln by her side and it also isn’t the same without Lexa.

“Riley woke up two times,” Anya replies, kissing the top of Riley’s head. “Other than that we slept well.”

“My sleep was good,” Clarke says. “Aden slept like an angel, no problems.”

“How was your sleep?” Raven asks Octavia.

“It was okay,” Octavia answers, blowing into her mug so she wouldn’t burn her tongue. “Today I’ll go exploring with Lincoln,” she announces, desperately wanting to spend some much needed alone time with him.

Anya plans to go back to the beach with Raven and Riley, so their little girl can play by making sand castles.

“I think I’ll go explore as well,” Clarke says, wanting to do something different today. “I won’t follow you,” she clarifies to Octavia.

“I’ll do that exploring stuff too,” Ontari announces, not feeling like hanging out at the beach yet. “Maybe I’ll find some nice souvenirs.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is holding Aden’s hand as she walks around with him, passing by small shops.

Ontari grins to see Lexa holding one of Aden’s hands while Clarke is holding his other hand. They’re such a little family and it’s a shame Clarke can’t see what Lexa would do for her to truly belong into that little family. “Hey um...,” she says hesitantly, drawing their attention. “I want to be alone for a while, so I’m going to head the other way.”

“Okay, Ri,” Lexa replies, seeing exactly what Ontari is doing. “I’ll see you soon.”

Ontari winks at Lexa when Clarke isn’t looking and then quickly shoos away in the other direction.

“I want to take a look over there,” Clarke says, nodding her head towards a souvenir shop with jewelry and other little things.

Lexa picks Aden up to make sure he wouldn’t wander around and end up getting lost. There are quite a lot of tourists hanging around and it wouldn’t be smart to let him run around with his childlike curiosity to explore.

“Everything looks so pretty,” Clarke says admiringly. “What do you think about this bracelet?” she asks Lexa, wanting to hear her opinion.

Lexa eyes the bracelet with the various charms hanging on it. “I think it would look beautiful on your wrist,” she says.

“I don’t wear jewelry often, but I do like certain things.”

Lexa notices Clarke staring sadly at a few rings and she wonders if perhaps the blonde dreams about getting married someday, knowing all too well how important family is for Clarke. It’s understandable why the blonde would desire someone closer to her own age.

“Aden, what do you want, honey?” Clarke asks sweetly. “You can choose one or two things,” she says, letting him know what the limit is.

Lexa hands Aden to Clarke for a moment so she can look around as well. She notices bracelets with a single charm on them and she decides to buy one for Shay, since the girl has been a lovely friend to her. She looks around to find a souvenir for Roan as well, kind of missing him during this vacation.

Clarke is about to pay for her bracelet and for some toys Aden selected when she notices Lexa buying a few things as well. It’s nice to see the girl buying gifts for people, probably for Shay too. She doesn’t know who Shay is, but from the way Anya kept bragging about that girl during breakfast while Lexa wasn’t at the table with them, she assumes Shay must be quite beautiful and amazing.

“We could rent a quadricycle over there,” Lexa suggests, pointing her finger towards a shop where they can be rented. “Aden could sit between us or on my lap.”

“Oh yes, we should try that,” Clarke agrees, walking up to the shop. “Aden can sit on my lap.”

Lexa pays the man of the shop so they can rent one for an hour.

Clarke gets on it and sits down on the right side, placing her feet on the pedals and Aden on her lap, although from what she can see he could sit in between them, probably a bit squished.

Lexa takes the left side. “Ready?” she asks Clarke.

“Okay, but not too fast,” Clarke warns. She can imagine Lexa is probably faster than she is, but she has to take it a bit easy because she doesn’t want to hit anyone and she doesn’t want it to be rough for Aden.

“No worries,” Lexa assures Clarke, squeezing her hand lightly to comfort her. “I will be gentle.”

There is something about Lexa’s words and her subtle touch that makes Clarke’s head spin all over again and she swears that someday this girl will be the end of her. She wonders how she ended up in this position, spending time with Lexa. Not that it is a bad thing, but it makes everything all the more tempting and complicated for her. She has to be strong and take responsibility.

Lexa takes her hand away from Clarke’s hand and concentrates on the path in front of them. “It feels good to be on vacation for a while doesn’t it?”

“Yes it does, it feels nice to get away from the daily scenery for a while and to be here at the beach. I think this is nice for Aden as well, so he can have fun and play. How do you feel about being here?”

“I’m happy to be here, this area is beautiful and it’s great to run here in the mornings,” Lexa replies earnestly. “Then of course there are lots of possibilities here to do activities, such as surfing.”

“You decided to come here on your motorcycle rather than by car,” Clarke points out, recalling that’s how Lexa got here.

“Yeah, I enjoy gliding over the roads, it feels natural to me,” Lexa explains, although she’s not sure if Clarke would understand that since she doesn’t have a motorcycle. “Once I go to college in a few weeks, I’ll be going with my motorcycle as well. I bet Octavia and Ontari plans to do the same.”

“Have you ever had an accident with your motorcycle?” Clarke asks curiously. “Even if it is only a small one,” she adds, clarifying. It seems a bit scary to her how fast Lexa goes on her motorcycle.

“Never,” Lexa answers resolute. “I know very well what I’m doing and despite my speed, I’m careful, especially when someone is with me. I would never endanger someone. That would be reckless of me.” She can tell Clarke isn’t a fan of her motorcycle, but to be fair the blonde has only been on her motorcycle once. “Perhaps someday I can take you for a ride so you can feel for yourself if you like it or not. I could go slowly this time,” she offers.

“I appreciate your offer, but I might not take you up on it,” Clarke says truthfully.

Aden wriggles on his mother’s lap and crawls over towards Lexa to sit on her lap instead.

“Hey, little buddy,” Lexa says sweetly. She wraps one arm around his waist to steady him. “He looks a bit bored, I don’t think he’s enjoying this very much,” she says a bit sadly, because she had hoped he would.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Aden, nooo,” Clarke says, sighing and placing the palm of her hand against her face in frustration.

“He must have been quite enthusiastic,” Lexa says, feeling a bit bad for Aden if he would get in trouble for pushing so many buttons in the elevator. “It looks like we’ll get to see a lot of floors now, yay,” she tries to sound cheerful about it, to lighten Clarke’s mood. “We have time.”

“Don’t push so many buttons anymore,” Clarke reprimands Aden. “Okay, sweetie?”

“I’m sorry, mommy,” Aden says, pouting.

“Aw baby, don’t pout,” Clarke whispers sweetly. “I’m not mad.” She knows Aden is still learning and he didn’t mean any harm.

It breaks Lexa’s heart to see Aden’s lip trembling, because he must be upset thinking about how he did something wrong. “Behold people, the first floor,” she says in a light joking tone to cheer Aden up.

Clarke chuckles as Lexa announces every floor, much to Aden’s amusement and stares from strangers, but the girl does it like she just doesn’t care what others think. It’s so sweet to see Lexa putting in so much effort to make her son feel better.

“Yes, ladies and gentlemen,” Lexa says as the doors open on the fifth floor. “Fifth floor, get out while you can.”

Clarke chuckles when a few people get out whom probably don’t even have a room on the fifth floor, from the way they directly turn right after getting out, which indicates they’re heading towards the stairs.

“All aboard,” Lexa says when the doors close again.

“Toot toot,” Aden says, giggling.

“Ping, ping, ping,” Lexa says after having gone through nineteen floors, picking Aden up. “Last stop for us, the twentieth floor.” When the doors open, she puts him down. “After you, sir.”

Aden giggles and walks ahead, clasping his hands behind his back.

“You’re amazing, Lexa,” Clarke says admiringly, pressing a soft kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “Thank you for… being you.” She has to admit that the girl is special and has a lot of good qualities.

Lexa blushes and touches her cheek with her hand, feeling where Clarke’s lips just were. If this is what she gets from acting silly to make Aden happen, then she’d gladly do this every day for as long as she breathes.

 


	42. Harmony

Ontari frowns when she enters her hotel room and sees Aden sleeping on the bed, while Lexa is sitting next to him. “What’s that kid doing here?” she asks curiously, pointing at him.

“He wanted to spend some time with me,” Lexa explains. “He fell asleep, he must have been tired. He’s still little after all.” It’s partly her fault for wearing him out as much as she did by having a gentle pillow fight with him, tickling him and telling him a bunch of made up stories.

“Where’s Clarke?” Ontari asks as she sits down on the edge of the bed.

“She’s drinking something with Raven and Anya,” Lexa recalls. “Riley is sleeping too,” she says, lifting up the blanket a bit to reveal the sleeping girl. Considering she was going to watch Aden anyway, she readily agreed to watch Riley as well and it hasn’t been any trouble for her.

“Looks like you got stuck babysitting then,” Ontari says grumpily. She lies down on the bed to rest and her eyes widen when Aden moves to continue his sleep on her chest. “Ugh, this is weird,” she mutters, flailing her arms around a bit before dropping them to her sides. If anything, she’s used to having kids avoid her, not try to get close to her.

“Shut up, Ri,” Lexa says with a smile. “He’s adorable and you know it.” She knows Aden can warm anyone’s heart. He can even melt the cold ice caps Ontari has around hers.

“I’m going to take a nap,” Ontari announces, yawning a bit. “Wake me up in an hour, yeah?” She’d rather not sleep through the rest of the afternoon, considering they’re nearing the last day of this vacation and she wants to make the best out of it while it lasts.

“Sure, I’ll wake you up,” Lexa half-promises. It’ll depend on how much asleep they all still are, because if after an hour they’re fast asleep, she’d rather not wake them. She knows how grumpy Ontari can get when someone disturbs her sleep and she doesn’t want to be that person.

“Hmm,” Ontari hums, closing her eyes.

Lexa smiles when Ontari cuddles Aden closer to herself, because her friend hates cuddling with people and Ontari doesn’t really like children. Octavia would never believe this unless she would see it with her own eyes, which is why being the good friend she is, takes out her phone to take a picture. Evidence is important and she’s aware Ontari will flip once she finds out about this lovely picture.

Riley wakes up and her lip trembles while a tear rolls down her cheek.

Lexa responds immediately and scoops Riley into her arms, rocking her gently and whispering sweetly to her in the hopes that she wouldn’t start crying. Her life has changed quite a bit over the last year and the difference with last summer is big for her, more than big even. Last summer she was still dating Costia or more like being avoided by her, and she went out a lot to parties and clubs, she got drunk frequently and smoked a lot. Now she’s single, she doesn’t go out as much unless there is a special occasion and she doesn’t smoke anymore.

A year ago she didn’t think Clarke and Aden would walk into her life, and she also didn’t know how attached she would get to them. If a year ago someone would have told her she would hopelessly fall in love with an older woman who has a son, she would have laughed at them and called them crazy, since there is no way she would or could have ever predicted anything like this. It all feels surreal and yet it is very real and very much happening. She still wants to believe that Clarke feels something for her too, but she can tell she’s fighting it hard.

When her school year at Arkadia began, she couldn’t wait to get it over with, to escape the daily slope it had turned into since the previous year. Now that she’s graduated, she wishes she could go back and do her year all over again, just to have Clarke around a little bit longer. College had been on her mind since she was basically a tween, fully concentrating on wanting it all to be over so she can get out there in the free world and do what she wants. She never pictured herself much as the type to settle down with someone in a family type of way, always thinking she would live life day by day, travel a lot and not have to pay attention to anyone.

Ever since Clarke waltzed into her life, everything has been turned upside down and her plans aren’t what they used to be anymore. In this moment she’s sitting here with Riley on her lap, the beautiful baby girl of her cousin, while Aden is sleeping in Ontari arms and as she sits here, she realizes that she does want a family. It would be lovely if once she graduates from college, she would build up a steady life with someone to come to and she wouldn’t mind if children would be involved in that picture as well.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Lex, you bitch!” Ontari grumbles, shouting while trying to grab Lexa’s phone so she can delete that dam, picture.

“Watch your language,” Lexa says with a reprimanding tone, glancing at the children who shouldn’t hear such curse words.

Octavia laughs as Lexa places her hand against Ontari’s face to push her away. “Yup, this sure is some solid evidence,” she says, pleased that Lexa wasn’t kidding when she said Ontari had been cuddling with Aden.

“Evidence my ass,” Ontari mutters, sitting down and rolling her eyes. “I fell asleep and he must have cuddled up with me or something.”

“You’re such a bad liar, Ri,” Lexa laughs, shaking her head. She knows precisely what she witnessed with her own two eyes. “You cuddled with Aden and you liked it.” She holds her phone out towards Anya, Raven and Clarke so they can have a look too.

“Looks like strong evidence to me,” Anya says, agreeing with Octavia’s previous words.

“Aww that’s adorable,” Clarke says sweetly. She’s happy to see that Aden slept well and that he had someone to cuddle with.

“Kids are irresistible,” Raven says. “I’d cuddle them all if I could.”

“You all suck,” Ontari says, turning away from them.

“This is a good picture to put in my photo album,” Lexa announces, full on planning to keep it.

“You sure know how to take a picture,” Octavia comments. “Always there at the right time to snap one.”

Clarke casually toys with her medallion while the others talk, thinking about how she got this as a gift from Lexa with pictures of Aden in it. She must say that she agrees with Octavia that Lexa knows how to take a picture, but she doesn’t share her thoughts out loud. The way the girl is talking with everyone and smiling is great, and she enjoys Lexa’s sparkling personality which leaves her feeling warm. So far she has been doing a poor job of trying to get the girl out of her mind. If anything, the more she tries to get Lexa out of her mind, the more she thinks about her.

“I’m going to get a glass of water,” Lexa says, getting up from her chair. “Does anyone else want anything?” she asks casually, now that she’s getting something to drink anyway.

Ontari frowns, feeling surprised that Lexa isn’t picking a better drink than that, especially since she knows her friend has already been drinking plenty of water today. “I’ll have a cocktail,” she says.

“Vodka for me,” Octavia says with a smile.

“I will have what she’s having,” Lincoln says, nodding his head towards Octavia. He isn’t that picky about what he’ll be drinking.

“I’ll go with a fruity cocktail,” Anya says. “It’s suitable for this vacation.”

“Same for me,” Raven says. “The cocktails here are delicious.”

Clarke gets up from her chair. “I’ll go with you,” she offers Lexa. “You can’t possibly carry all those drinks on your own,” she points out, realizing that would be too much. “Aden, sweetie, do you want some lemonade?” she asks him, taking a random guess.

“Yes, mommy,” Aden replies while nodding his head at the same time.

Lexa walks up to the bar to order their drinks, closely followed by Clarke and she appreciates the help since it really would have been too much for her to carry on her own, unless they would be so kind to give her a platter.

Clarke feels a bit uncomfortable about Octavia and Ontari drinking alcohol when they’re not nineteen yet. It’s not that she didn’t drink back when she was eighteen because she did, but she knows they shouldn’t and that it isn’t exactly responsible. In the end she has to accept that she isn’t their guardian in any way and she has no say whatsoever about what they do and don’t do. It’s not her place to tell them they shouldn’t be drinking and it certainly won’t stop them. She’s pleasantly surprised that she has seen Lexa drinking water today, even when her friends aren’t and it is nice to see that the girl’s actions aren’t influenced by her friends.

Lexa orders the drinks and shakes her head when Clarke is about to reach for her wallet to pay. “I got this,” she says, grabbing her own wallet to pay. “This round is on me.”

“You don’t have to pay,” Clarke retorts. She feels like Lexa should keep her money to herself and save it up for another day.

“I insist,” Lexa says with a sweet smile.

Clarke looks guiltily at the bottle of wine she ordered. “How can I repay you?” she asks inquisitive.

Lexa cautiously takes a step closer towards Clarke, yet keeping her distance at the same time so she isn’t overstepping any boundaries. “You could dance with me tonight,” she whispers with a seductive tone, hearing the soft beats of the music, noticing from the corner of her eyes how people are dancing.

“One dance,” Clarke offers, agreeing with Lexa’s suggestion. The music does sound lovely and it has been a while since she danced with anyone. In fact, the last time she danced was at the Christmas school dance where she danced with Wells, although that is a rather sour memory considering he kissed her and she sadly had to turn him down, which is never an easy thing to do.

Lexa picks up as many glasses as she can handle carrying to return to their company, looking forward to tonight so she can dance with Clarke. She has never been much of a dancer, but she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to be close to the woman who has captured her heart.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Awww, babe, look,” Raven whispers, nudging Anya with her elbow to draw her attention. “Riley is yawning.” There is hardly anything Riley could do that wouldn’t look absolutely adorable to her.

Anya looks up to glance at their little angel and she smiles when she sees how sleepy Riley is. “We should bring her to bed so she can sleep,” she suggests. “Once she’s sleeping we can spend some time alone,” she adds, whispering secretly in Raven’s ear.

Raven returns Anya’s smile and doesn’t need to be told twice. “Time for bed, baby girl,” she whispers sweetly, lifting Riley up in her arms, causing the others to look up.

Clarke notices how Aden is yawning too and she knows he needs to sleep. It’s getting awfully late and she doesn’t want to mess up his sleeping pattern, no vacation would be worth doing that.

Octavia catches on to the way Lexa is staring at Clarke in a slightly desperate way and she recalls how earlier, her friend whispered that she’ll be dancing with Clarke tonight. She nudges Lincoln and urges him with her eyes to stand up, while she clears her throat and stands up too. “Would you mind it if we bring Aden to bed tonight?” she asks Clarke in a sweet tone. “Lincoln is amazing with children,” she adds to sound convincing.

“I um..,” Clarke says, taken a bit aback by Octavia’s request. “I don’t see why not,” she finally decides, smiling softly. “Don’t leave him alone though.”

“Everything will be fine,” Lincoln promises. He picks Aden up and smiles at him, hoping that one day he will have a son.

Lexa mouths Octavia a thank you while nobody else is looking, grateful for what her friend is doing for her. She knows Octavia well enough to know her request wasn’t a coincidence.

“Goodnight everyone,” Raven says, holding Riley’s hand and moving it to wave at everyone.

Everyone mumbles their goodnights, until only Ontari, Lexa and Clarke are left at the table.

“Ohh, hot woman sitting at the bar,” Ontari says suddenly. “That’s my cue,” she continues with a wink, standing up.

“Good luck,” Lexa replies encouragingly, holding her thumb up.

“Pfft, I don’t need luck,” Ontari retorts before walking away.

Clarke pours herself another glass of wine from her bottle. “Would you like a glass?” she asks inquiringly, holding the bottle out to Lexa.

Lexa considers her options, thinking how she would pass up on the wine and stick to not drinking alcohol tonight, but at the same time she doesn’t want to appear rude and it would taste good. “Half,” she answers with a small smile.

Clarke pours Lexa half a glass of wine, aware that she’s contradicting herself on how she’s against anyone below nineteen drinking, while she’s sitting here, pouring the girl some wine which she offered. The notes played on a piano nearby sweep her softly off her feet, carrying her along. At this point the lights are dimly lit and most guests must have retrieved to their rooms or elsewhere.

“Hey,” Ontari says suddenly, appearing back at the table. “So um yeah… I won’t be in our room tonight,” she says to Lexa, not feeling sorry at all. “Looks like you’ll be on your own.”

Lexa chuckles as she sees Ontari running off, giggling, with some woman who must be the woman who was sitting at the bar. She’s happy that her friend is having a good time, because she had been worried that Ontari might have felt left out, considering how Anya is with Raven, Octavia is with Lincoln and she is mostly spending her time with Clarke, even though they’re not together.

Clarke sips from her wine, tasting the fruity sensation it has, which ends with a slightly bitter after kick. She finds herself staring into Lexa’s eyes, which are darkened yet sparkle mischievously in the dim lights.

Lexa gets up and gently reaches out for Clarke’s hand. “May I have this dance?” she asks politely, even though the blonde does owe her a dance.

Clarke smiles, puts her glass down and accepts Lexa’s hand while wondering if the girl will lead her or if she should lead. Her thoughts are quickly answered when Lexa presses a tender kiss on her hand and leads her towards the dance floor.

Lexa revels in the small gasp Clarke lets out when she pulls their bodies flush together to dance slowly to the rhythm of the music. She feels the blonde relaxing in her hold, melting into her arms and allowing her to lead her.

Clarke feels how Lexa is holding her close, her body molding into hers as if they are made for each other. She places her hands on the girl’s shoulders, dancing silently and she wants to say something, anything, but each time she opens her mouth to try and speak, no words come out.

Lexa’s hands rest comfortably on Clarke’s waist and she can’t help the quiet sigh of contentment escaping her at the feel of having the blonde this close. She can’t fight back a smile when Clarke rests her head on her chest, as if that’s where her home is, if only.

Clarke feels Lexa pulling her impossibly closer, as if the girl is trying to turn their bodies into one. The steady beats of Lexa’s heart ease her mind and she can only hope that the girl won’t let go yet.

Lexa gently brings one hand up to Clarke’s chin, coaxing it upwards, watching how her face glistens in the pale moonlight while her eyes twinkle with an emotion so intense, she can’t work out what it is precisely. It’s hard for her to know what kind of thoughts are swimming through that gorgeous mind, a maze she has yet to unravel, piece by piece.

Each time Lexa’s eyes bore through her, Clarke feels incredibly exposed, bared by the girl’s eyes. It feels as if Lexa can read her and see through her, as if no thought or feeling she has can be kept a secret, but perhaps she betrays herself with her body language.

Lexa caresses her fingertip across Clarke’s lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss this beautiful goddess who she is holding into her arms and even though they’re not together by any means, she wonder how she could have possibly gotten so lucky to be allowed to hold her.

Clarke’s soft yet outspoken expressions morph into confusion when Lexa slowly moves her away, but within a second the girl twirls her around like a princess and pushes her front into her back, moving slowly side to side and easing her confusion. Nobody makes her feel as special and as wanted as Lexa does and that’s a rare trait to possess.

Lexa moves her nose along the side of Clarke’s exposed neck and smiles, thinking how good the blonde smells, like always. She can smell her rosy perfume masked by a hint of the wine she has been drinking earlier tonight.

Clarke hums silently when Lexa’s arms wrap around her waist from behind as they dance with a melody no one else can hear, seemingly in perfect harmony as they quietly dance the night away.

 


	43. Friendly interfering

“Thank you for this lovely evening,” Clarke whispers, kissing Lexa’s cheek. “I had a great time.”

“So did I,” Lexa admits, having thoroughly enjoyed every second she spent with Clarke. “Perhaps we get a chance to do this again sometime,” she whispers hopefully, lingering at her door.

“Only if I can lead next time,” Clarke replies with a smile.

“I accept,” Lexa whispers eagerly, thinking how she would give anything to dance with Clarke again. It’s quite alright if she isn’t the one leading, she wouldn’t mind switching positions.

“Goodnight, Lexa,” Clarke whispers, walking towards her own door. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Clarke,” Lexa replies softly, opening her door. “Sleep well,” she adds before disappearing into her room.

Clarke slowly opens her door, not wanting to make any sound because she knows Aden must be sleeping. She sighs softly and shakes her head at the sight she walks into, seeing Octavia and Lincoln fast asleep on her bed, with Aden in between them. There goes her place to sleep tonight and she knows Octavia and Lincoln have their own room which is free now, but she doesn’t have a key to that room and she doesn’t want to wake them up. Seeing no other option, she closes the door again and quietly knocks on Lexa’s door.

Lexa opens the door of her room, now clad only in a top and some pajama shorts, considering she changed fast so she could go to bed because she goes for a run early in the morning. Her eyes widen momentarily before narrowing them again, upon seeing Clarke in front of her door. “Yes, Clarke?” she asks curiously, not wanting to assume anything or jump to conclusions prematurely.

“Octavia and Lincoln are sleeping in my room,” Clarke says, explaining her situation. “I was wondering if…,” she trails off, realizing how weird this must look.

Lexa opens her door wider and steps out of the way. “Come in,” she whispers, inviting Clarke in. Telepathically she sends a silent thank you to Octavia and Lincoln for having fallen asleep in Clarke’s room.

“Thank you,” Clarke whispers gratefully, but the second she’s inside, she realizes she doesn’t have any pajamas, which causes her to sigh again. “I didn’t bring… I don’t have…”

“You can borrow some of mine,” Lexa offers kindly. She shows Clarke a few pajamas, to let her choose which one she would like to borrow.

Clarke settles for a big black shirt and pajama shorts, rushing into the bathroom to get changed. She still remembers that day where she walked in on Lexa wearing nothing but a towel and how the girl had turned her back on her, followed by dropping the towel, giving her a generous view of Lexa’s bare back. Despite that having happened, she doesn’t quite plan to return that favor, if it can really be called such.

Lexa lifts up the covers of her bed and slips in, waiting patiently for Clarke to exit the bathroom. She keeps a tightlipped smile when the blonde quietly tiptoes towards the bed and gets in.

Clarke can hardly believe she ended up in this situation, to be in bed with Lexa again, to be so close to temptation it’s touchable. She fluffs her pillow before lowering her head on it, to make herself comfortable.

Lexa lies down and rolls herself onto her side, away from Clarke because she doesn’t want to make this uncomfortable by staring. She exhales slowly when a hand rests on her hip, sliding towards her waist, reeling her in.

“Is this okay?” Clarke asks, having some doubts. Since they have been here, she’s been spending her nights cuddling with Aden, but that’s not an option now and quite frankly she does like cuddling. “I’m sorry,” she says, quickly pulling her hand away.

Lexa grasps Clarke’s hand and brings it back to where it was, resting it on her stomach. “It’s okay,” she whispers.

“This feels nice,” Clarke whispers, smiling. “I’m quite the cuddler, if you hadn’t noticed yet.”

“I may have noticed a little bit.”

“I wish you wouldn’t have to leave to go to college,” Clarke blurts out without thinking, losing herself in this moment. “I mean… It’s good that you’re going to college,” she backtracks, mentally cursing herself for slipping up like that and sending out a wrong signal. “What I was trying to say is that it’s a bit sad that you’ll be four hours away.”

Lexa carefully moves Clarke’s arm away and turns around to face her. “Clarke,” she whispers, reaching out to stroke her hair. “Are you trying to tell me you will miss me?”

“Yes,” Clarke admits, feeling busted. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I wish my age wouldn’t bother you so much,” Lexa whispers sadly.

Clarke’s heart aches upon hearing Lexa’s words and it brings her back to the night where she overheard the girl whispering that she hopes that someday she’ll set her love free, as Lexa has set hers free. It would have been a lot easier if she wouldn’t have gotten entangled like this with a student, because it makes everything complicated.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ontari grins and silently plops down on the bed, next to Octavia. “I think our plan worked,” she whispers, not wanting to wake Aden up.

“Yeah toats,” Octavia agrees, grinning as well. “I woke up when Lincoln did and when he left, he came back after five minutes, saying Lex wasn’t waiting for him like she used to do, so she must still be in her room.”

“At first I thought that woman at the bar wouldn’t take the bait and walk away,” Ontari explains, sharing the slight struggle she had. “I bought her a drink and won her over with some sweet words.”

“We should delete our texts to delete the evidence,” Octavia whispers, skimming through the texts on her phone. She has a bunch of texts from last night from Ontari, going from when she was told to fall asleep in Clarke’s room to the last where Ontari texted her that she’d be sharing a room with some woman she met at the bar. “At first I thought Clarke would sleep on the floor or something.”

“Yeah I wasn’t fully sure if she’d try to find a way to sleep in her room anyway,” Ontari whispers, sharing that she had doubts as well. “I hope they’re making something happen, because fuck it I’ve never seen Lex so hung up on someone before.”

“True, she’s in hella deep,” Octavia agrees. “We gotta help our sister out.”

“I have another plan,” Ontari whispers with a devilish smirk on her face.

“Ohh share,” Octavia says, rubbing her hands together. “Spill, what is it?”

“You know how soon we’ll all be going home again,” Ontari begins to explain, watching Octavia nod. “Anya and Raven don’t have any empty spots left in their car.”

“Um yeah, I know that,” Octavia says, a bit confused. “And?”

“Wouldn’t it be a shame if Lincoln would feel unwell and require to be in the car rather than on the back of your motorcycle?”

Octavia finally catches on to Ontari’s drift and grins. “Yes, that would be such a shame,” she whispers with a sparkle in her eyes. “How unfortunate that I might have heard him cough…”

“If he will be in the car on the way back, someone else will have to catch a ride on a motorcycle,” Ontari further explains. “Lex happens to be the best driver out of us.”

“Raven and Anya would stay with the kids, with one of them driving so…”

“Clarke would have to volunteer to catch a ride from Lex.”

“You’re a genius, Ri,” Octavia says excitedly, struggling to keep her voice low.

“Mommy,” Aden mumbles sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He has a confused look on his face when he doesn’t see his mother. “I want my mommy,” he whines.

“Hey, kid,” Octavia says sweetly. “Would you like to play?”

“No,” Aden replies stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest. “I want my mommy,” he repeats himself.

“I think O wants to play horsy,” Ontari says randomly, not wanting to end up with a crying kid.

“Why me?” Octavia asks. “You could be the horse.”

Ontari grins and picks Aden up. “Come on, O,” she prods on, nudging Octavia with her foot.

“Ugh fine,” Octavia grumbles, getting down on the floor on her hands and knees.

Ontari puts Aden on Octavia’s back and holds onto him so he wouldn’t fall, since he’s still little and she knows Lexa would kill her if that kid would get hurt.

Aden giggles when Octavia starts moving around the room.

“Yeehaa,” Ontari says, shaking Aden gently.

“Yeehaa,” Aden says, copying Ontari.

Octavia chuckles and crawls around more, trying to move faster to hear Aden giggle more. She has to admit that children aren’t so bad at all, which she already found out last night when she put him to bed along with Lincoln.

Ontari and Octavia both awkwardly freeze in their place when the door opens, revealing Clarke and Lexa.

“O wanted to play,” Ontari says, looking away.

“What?” Octavia says disbelievingly. “You suggested this for Aden.”

“Pfft, I know of no such thing.”

“Lessa!” Aden shouts happily.

“Hey, little buddy,” Lexa says with a big smile, picking him up.

“No longer asking for his mommy now, eh?” Ontari mumbles to Octavia who nods at her.

“What did you say?” Lexa asks, staring at Ontari.

“Let’s get you dressed,” Clarke says, taking Aden over from Lexa. “Did you sleep well, sweetie?”

“I woke up without you, mommy.”

“Aww baby, I know,” Clarke replies softly, knowing she should have been with her son. “I was sleeping with...,” she trails off, clearing her throat. “Mommy was sleeping somewhere else.”

Lexa frowns deeply and feels how Ontari and Octavia squeeze her shoulders before crushing her into a hug.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Woof, woof,” Aden coos as he runs up to a golden retriever who is approaching him too.

“Aden, no,” Lexa says, trying not to shout so she wouldn’t sound as if she’s angry at him. She scoops Aden up, to keep him away from the dog. “It’s not safe, you will get an auwie.”

“I’m sorry, Lessa,” Aden whispers, burying his face in her neck.

“You have nothing to worry about,” a man says, who seems to be the owner of the dog. “He doesn’t bite,” he explains. “He is welcome to pet him.”

“No thank you,” Lexa says kindly, now noticing Clarke is showing up next to her, probably disturbed by the small scene on the beach. “He is allergic.”

“I didn’t know that,” the dog owner replies harmlessly. “It’s good of you to look out for your little brother,” he says as he puts his dog on a leash.

Lexa’s face falls for a split second, hurt to be seen as Aden’s older sister, but what hurts the most is the way Clarke’s eyes widen and that one particular look on her face.

“Thank you,” Clarke says hurriedly to Lexa before taking Aden over. “Let’s go build a sandcastle,” she whispers in his ear, kissing his cheek.

“Hey, Lex, you okay?” Ontari asks, whispering.

“We saw what happened,” Octavia explains.

Lexa turns around, facing her best friends. “I don’t know,” she sighs, not sure if she should be okay.

“Ignore what that stranger said,” Ontari says. “He didn’t know any better.”

“The problem isn’t so much what that stranger said,” Lexa replies, sighing even deeper. “It’s the fact that Clarke looked at me in a way that said ‘okay wow you really are too young because someone thinks you are his older sister and not his mother, so I really should not get involved with you to avoid having people assume I am dating his babysitter or something’,” she explains sadly. “You can say whatever you want, but she doesn’t even need to say it out loud, I could see it in her eyes, it was written all over her face.”

“It sucks that she’s so fixated on your age,” Octavia says, pulling Lexa into a bone crushing hug. “In the end as long as you’re of legal age, which you are, age is just a number on your ID and when it comes down to love, you can’t attach an age to it.” She’s incredibly thankful that Lincoln didn’t get fixated on her age too much and that he had the ability to look past that so they could find love.

“O is right,” Ontari fully agrees. “This is all so fucked up,” she grumbles, feeling her anger bubble up. “She keeps hurting you and it isn’t fair, because sometimes she gives in a bit and then she pulls away again. You’re not a toy dammit.”

Lexa can see Ontari is definitely angry by the way her friend clenches her jaw and her fists. “As I said before, I think she’s experiencing mixed up feelings,” she says, defending Clarke. Something suddenly dawns on her, something she hadn’t thought of yet. “Why were you in Clarke’s room this morning with Octavia and Aden?” she asks curiously, considering how it would have made sense if Ontari would have walked into her room, which they share.

“I texted her,” Octavia says quickly, covering for Ontari. “Clarke wasn’t there when I woke up, so I um… took a random guess.”

Lexa crosses her arms. “Then how did you know Ri wasn’t sleeping next to me as she would have been?” she asks disbelievingly.

“I texted her to brag,” Ontari explains, which isn’t a total lie, because she did text Octavia to let her know.

“How long have I known you two?” Lexa asks rhetorically. “You both set this up,” she says, assuming that’s the case and the look on their faces confirms her assumptions.

“You two are hopeless,” Octavia says. “No offense, but it’s true.”

“Especially Clarke,” Ontari clarifies, to let Lexa know she isn’t pinning this on her. “We wanted to steer her into the right direction, in your direction.”

Lexa sighs deeply and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I know you both mean well,” she says softly, aware that their intentions are pure. “But you should both stay out if this, because everything is complicated enough already.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Um we have an issue,” Octavia says, staring slightly nervously at her own feet. She takes a deep breath and looks up at Raven and Anya, not daring to look at Clarke right now and especially not at Lexa. “Lincoln isn’t feeling so fantastic, so he can’t ride with me on my motorcycle,” she explains, following the sneaky plan she cooked up with Ontari, ignoring how Lexa told them to stay out of it.

Lincoln gives everyone an apologetic look, but mostly he wonders why he allowed Octavia to drag him into this. “Would it be possible for me to have a place in the car?” he asks politely, not wanting to be a bother.

“Um,” Raven says, awkwardly putting her suitcase in the trunk of the car. “I don’t want to say no, but we don’t have any spots left,” she explains, feeling a bit sorry for that.

“How about someone else rides with us in his place?” Ontari suggests, trying to sound as if she just came up with that thought.

“Careful, darling,” Octavia says sweetly, gripping onto Lincoln’s arm as he pretends to be dizzy.

“I could take someone with me,” Lexa offers, noticing Lincoln really looks unwell and it wouldn’t be safe for him to be on the back of a motorcycle right now, which would also put Octavia in danger. “I’ve never had an accident or anything.”

“I’m driving the car,” Anya says, having to pass up switching with Lincoln.

Raven sighs, realizing it will be either her or Clarke.

“Lincoln can have my place in the car,” Clarke offers, though a bit hesitantly. She can’t believe she’ll be on the back of a motorcycle again, but there isn’t much choice now and she does trust Lexa to keep her safe, knowing the girl wouldn’t put her in any danger by driving recklessly.

“You are very kind,” Lincoln says thankfully. He kisses Octavia, struggling to part from her as he gets into the car.

Clarke puts the helmet on that Lexa hands her and carefully gets on the back of the girl’s motorcycle, hoping that Lexa won’t zigzag between the traffic too much this time, especially because it takes a few hours to get home.

Lexa narrows her eyes when she swears she catches Ontari and Octavia grinning in a conspiring way at each other, but she quickly stores that thought when she feels Clarke’s arms wrapping tightly around her. 

“Don’t go too fast!” Clarke shouts as Lexa starts her motorcycle.

“I wouldn’t dare!” Lexa shouts back above the sound of her engine. “Speed is relative though,” she adds with a teasing smile which Clarke unfortunately can’t see right now.

“Speed is what!?” Clarke asks, shouting because she didn’t hear Lexa’s full sentence. The fact that Ontari and Octavia start their motorcycles as well won’t help her to hear the girl any better.

Lexa answers Clarke’s question by pulling up and increasing the speed of her motorcycle in a matter of seconds. She only feels a little bit sorry when the blonde screams, because the way Clarke holds on even tighter is definitely worth it.

 


	44. Summertime sadness

“Hi, Lex,” Shay says with a big smile. “I missed you during my runs the last week. How was your vacation?”

“Hey, Shay,” Lexa greets her back. “It has been nice, the weather was good,” she says as she reveals a small package. “This is a souvenir, for you.”

“Oh thank you,” Shay replies kindly, accepting it. “I like it,” she says as she looks at the bracelet.

“Do you already have a dorm for when you go to Polis?” Lexa asks curiously, aware that Shay will be going there too and they do need a fourth person for their dorm.

“Yes, as a matter of fact I do,” Shay says, nodding her head at the same time. “I’ll be sharing with a few friends from my old school who will be going there too,” she explains.

“Oh okay,” Lexa says, realizing that leaves Shay out. “That sounds nice.”

“I already told them about you,” Shay reveals with a smile. “They said you sound cool and they look forward to meet you.”

“You’re a good friend, Shay,” Lexa says earnestly. “I’d love to meet them sometime, that way I’ll know more people in advance. I bet Octavia and Ontari would like to meet them as well.”

“You should bring them with you,” Shay suggests. “We could meet up somewhere soon with my friends and yours, so we can hang out together.”

“Sure I’d like that,” Lexa replies, agreeing. “I’ll let my friends know and you can text me the details of where and when.”

“Will do,” Shay promises. “Ready to run?”

“After you,” Lexa says, moving her hand to signal Shay to go first.

Shay smiles and runs ahead. “Catch up with me if you can,” she teases.

Lexa chuckles and decides to give Shay a head start of at least thirty seconds, since there’s no doubt that she will catch up with her. Shay can run well, but nowhere near as fast as she can.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Happy birthday, Clarke,” Raven says with a big smile, pulling Clarke into a hug and kissing her cheeks three times. “Twenty-seven, congratulations.”

“Shh,” Clarke whispers, holding her index finger in front of her lips. “Don’t say my age out loud.”

“Happy birthday,” Anya says, leaning in to kiss Clarke’s cheeks three times.

“I baked this cake for you,” Raven says, showing it to Clarke as she holds it up.

“Mhm, it looks delicious,” Clarke replies, licking her lips in anticipation to taste it. “You can put it in the kitchen.”

“Happy birthday, Clarke,” Lexa says calmly, hugging Clarke briefly and kissing her cheeks three times as the others did before her. “Thank you for inviting me.” She wishes she would have been able to invite the blonde to her birthday all those months ago, but she couldn’t.

“I invited Anya and Raven,” Clarke replies. “It was only fair I invited you as well,” she explains, though she’s aware she’s making it sound as if she only invited Lexa out of obligation. “And you girlfriend of course,” she adds quickly, having been told about the girl’s girlfriend by Raven. It wouldn’t have been kind of her not to invite Shay, considering everyone else she invited brought their partners.

Lexa would want to correct Clarke by telling her that Shay is just her friend, but she decides not to, slightly hurt by how easily the blonde discarded her presence. She feels as if she is nothing but a plus one people get to take with them to parties by random choice and she doesn’t need to correct Clarke, considering Shay is out of earshot.

Clarke notices the pain in Lexa’s eyes that’s there one second and gone the next, which makes her painfully aware of how well the girl can hide her feelings and bury them inside her. “Lexa, I didn’t…” she says to apologize, but trials off when Lexa turns around and walks up to a pretty young girl, who unmistakingly must be her girlfriend.

Aden tugs at Lexa’s pants to draw her attention.

“Hey, Aden,” Lexa says, crouching down to be at eye-level with him. “It’s good to see you again.” She hadn’t seen him or Clarke since they got back from their vacation, which had been difficult.

“I missed you,” Aden whispers.

“I missed you too,” Lexa replies earnestly. She picks Aden up and caresses his cheek. “I want you to know that even when you don’t see me for a while, I’ll always be your friend,” she promises. “When I’m gone for a long time, I will come back.”

“Is this Aden?” Shay asks curiously. She smiles when Lexa nods. “I heard a lot about you,” she says, reaching out to ruffle his hair a bit.

“Who wants some cake?” Clarke asks loudly, gathering the attention of her guests. She grabs a big knife to cut the cakes she has, ready to hand out plates with slices.

“You shouldn’t be doing any of the work,” Raven says, taking over the knife from Clarke. “It’s your birthday, let me handle this.”

“That looks like a big piece,” Clarke comments, smiling when Raven cuts the first piece for Niylah.

“There’s plenty of cake from the looks of it,” Raven retorts with a smirk on her face. “I doubt any of the guests would mind.”

“While you’re cutting the cake, I’ll pour the drinks.”

“Babe, come here,” Raven calls out for Anya. “We can’t let Clarke do the work today.”

“You two are unbelievable,” Clarke says, chuckling as Raven and Anya take all the work out of her hands. “I have to treat my guests well, which includes you two.”

Raven shakes her head, not fully agreeing. “Let your guests treat you today,” she says with determination, not planning to change her mind. “Today is the day you get to be selfish and let others do the work.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Anya advises. “Your birthday and mother’s day are two days reserved for you. That’s all you get in an entire year.”

“That sounds a bit dramatic,” Clarke replies, although she can see Anya’s reasoning behind her logic. “Okay, you’re not half-wrong.”

“Riley, watch out sweetie,” Raven says as she notices her crawling around. She wouldn’t want anyone to step on her hands accidentally and hurt her.

“While you two have fun cutting the cake and pouring drinks, I’ll hold on to this little angel,” Clarke says with a cheesy smile, picking Riley up. “Hello, sweetheart,” she coos. Her smile brightens when the little girl wraps her hand around her thumb.

Raven wants to comment on how she’s surprised Clarke doesn’t have more children yet, seeing how she’s holding Riley into her arms, but she decides against it since her friend obviously isn’t seeing anyone and she doesn’t want to risk hitting a nerve. Teasing can be fun, but it wouldn’t be fun anymore if she would actually hurt Clarke with it. What isn’t yet can always come and she hopes that her friend will find someone who will make her and Aden happy.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Clarke,” Lexa whispers, while knocking on the bathroom door. She knows Clarke went in there about half an hour ago and she grew concerned so she went to check. “It’s me, Lexa.” She frowns when she doesn’t get a response. “I’m going to enter now,” she says, a bit louder this time.

Clarke is sitting on top of her toilet seat, which is closed, with her hands in her hair and her elbows on her knees.

Lexa shuts the door and kneels down next to Clarke, definitely concerned now. “Clarke,” she whispers softly, seeking out eye-contact. “Are you crying?” she asks when she hears the blonde sniffling and notices the redness on her cheeks.

Clarke moves her hands away and looks up at Lexa with her blue watery eyes. She reaches out for the girl and hugs her tightly, crying on her shoulder.

“Shhh, I got you,” Lexa whispers soothingly, caressing Clarke’s back.

Clarke eases up at the caring tone of Lexa’s voice, which can silence the storm in her mind instantly. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, a crack in her voice as she speaks.

Lexa’s heart breaks to hear the crack in Clarke’s voice and she can’t stand her being in any type of pain. “You don’t need to apologize,” she replies kindly, cupping the blonde’s cheeks, caressing them with her thumbs. “You can’t help how you feel, feelings simple are. You can’t control them, you can’t stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf them or to choose which wave you want to surf.”

Clarke wants to tell Lexa the truth, she wants to tell her that she is crying because soon the girl will be off to college and then she won’t see her for at least ten months. Yet she can’t, she can’t tell Lexa that her tears are for her, because they aren’t together and they can’t be. She has to get the girl out of her mind and she has to keep telling herself that every day until she accepts it and moves on. It wouldn’t be right of her to give in to her feelings, to be so selfish to claim Lexa as hers, not when the girl is about to go to college four hours away. She has to let Lexa live her life the way she should.

“If you want to talk, I’ll be here, I’ll listen,” Lexa offers, wiping Clarke’s tears away. “If you don’t want to talk, that’s okay too. I could sit with you, here, together, in silence.” She would do anything to put a smile on that beautiful face, because even with tear-stained cheeks, there is no doubt that the blonde is a goddess.

“Let’s talk about something else,” Clarke suggests, not wanting to bring up how she feels because it wouldn’t be fair. She can’t keep Lexa away from her life and knowing how selfless the girl can be, she knows Lexa is likely to change her path if she would speak up. “Have you decided what you want to study in college?” she asks curiously, honestly wanting to know.

Lexa can’t believe that on Clarke’s birthday, they’re sitting in the bathroom together while the blonde is clearly distraught and now they would talk about college. It all seems a bit odd and unusual, but she understands it if Clarke rather wants to have some distraction. “I narrowed it down to a few and I’ve been putting a lot of thought to it,” she says, even having made a list of pros and cons. “At first I thought I would study law or something like that, but then I realized it would bore me.”

“Law?” Clarke asks, surprised. “I think you specialize more in breaking it,” she says with a smile.

And oh, Lexa would say something about that, but seeing Clarke smile makes her choose otherwise. “What can I say? It’s one of my many talents,” she says with a playful tone.

“I think you got less naughty,” Clarke points out. “I haven’t really seen you drinking anymore or doing anything else that would be illegal.”

“Oh I can be naughty,” Lexa blurts out, slapping her own hand in front of her mouth, but it’s too late. She said it and now she can’t take it back. “I mean… I could easily drink again,” she adds, although she’d rather drink Clarke in.

A knock on the door startles them both.

Lexa can see something aching towards fear in Clarke’s eyes, a sudden rise of panic at being caught, but caught with what exactly? All they did was talk, even though this may look suspicious. She slowly opens the door to see who it is.

“Hey,” Shay says softly. “Are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while and I just wanted to make sure,” she adds worriedly.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lexa replies, softly smiling to reassure Shay. “I was here to wash my hands,” she lies.

Clarke sighs as Lexa slips out of the bathroom, following Shay and it hits her that she had been sitting here, contemplating to kiss the girl, while Lexa has a girlfriend. She needs to get a grip on herself and move on, because she has had her chances, which the girl offered her plenty of times and each time she rejected Lexa. Now she’ll have to accept it and live with the foolish mistake she made.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m going to miss you so, so, so much,” Anya says as she hugs Lexa tightly, struggling to let her go.

“You’re suffocating me,” Lexa groans while trying to push Anya away. “Anya, please.”

Anya gives in and lets go, even though she’d rather hug Lexa for a little while longer. She still remembers the day her cousin was a thirteen year old girl, dropped onto her doorstep and that memory will always linger with her. “Call me when you get there, okay?” she asks, wanting to know when Lexa has safely arrived.

“I promise I will call,” Lexa assures Anya. “I’ll let you know something at least once a week,” she promises.

“Twice,” Anya says, smiling.

“Okay fine,” Lexa relents. “Twice a week.”

“Good luck in Polis,” Raven says, hugging Lexa briefly to avoid annoying her. “Break a leg.”

“Will do,” Lexa replies. She picks Riley up and caresses her cheek. “I’m going to miss you, sweetie,” she whispers softly. She puts the little girl down again. “Bye.”

“Bye, Les,” Riley says, waving her hand.

“Bye,” Anya and Raven both say at once.

Lexa slings her backpack over her shoulder and walks out the door. Her suitcase has already been dropped off at Polis in her dorm room a few days ago. “Hey,” she says to Ontari and Octavia who are on their motorcycles, waiting for her.

“Hey, Lex,” Ontari replies. “About time,” she grumbles.

“Don’t mind Ri,” Octavia laughs. “She’s still annoyed from waiting outside my door for half an hour.”

“Your mother needs to get a grip,” Ontari mutters.

“I know,” Octavia agrees. Her mother was smothering her with that hug that didn’t seem to end, but she knows her mother struggles with her being out of the house now. “It’s hard on her because she knows I’ll be with Lincoln after college, so I’m not going to live back at home.”

“You and Lincoln must be solid then,” Lexa comments. “I’m really happy for you both.”

“I’m happy too,” Octavia says, smiling brightly. “I’m sorry that things didn’t work about between you and Clarke.”

“Yeah,” Ontari chimes in. “We really thought you’d win her over during the summer.”

“Maybe we’re not meant to be,” Lexa says sadly. “Anyway, I’m ready to go,” she says quickly, wanting to hurry up. “We have a four hour drive ahead.”

“She’s missing out,” Octavia says, sighing as she puts the vision of her helmet down.

Lexa shrugs and starts her engine, not wanting to think more about it now. She pulls up and she’s barely through one street when a car cuts her off, forcing her to stop abruptly. “Fucking hell,” she curses as she pulls her helmet off, ready to yell at the driver.

Behind Lexa, Ontari and Octavia have pulled to a stop as well.

“For fucks sakes!” Ontari curses out loud.

“Jesus, that car nearly hit you,” Octavia says to Lexa, gasping in shock.

Lexa prepares herself to give the driver an earful when the car door opens, but then she sees Clarke and suddenly Aden is running up to her. She quickly gets off of her motorcycle and crouches down.

“Lessa!!” Aden shouts, almost tripping over his own feet. He crashes into Lexa’s arms and hugs his arms around her neck. “Don’t go, Lessa,” he pleads with a small voice.

“Aww hey, little buddy,” Lexa says softly. “Remember what I told you? I will come back.”

“Hey,” Clarke says nervously. “I’m sorry for cutting you off like that.” She did it in the haste of the moment when she saw she was too late. “Aden wanted to say bye,” she explains, although her son isn’t the only one who wants to say bye.

Lexa nods in understanding and lets Aden go. She pulls Clarke close, hugging her and not caring about who would see. “Thank you for seeing me out,” she whispers. “Even if you had to cut me off for it,” she adds teasingly, not at all angry about that detail anymore.

“I know you’re a great driver,” Clarke replies, bragging a bit. “So I knew you would be able to stop in time.”

“I have to go now,” Lexa says regretfully. “We have a long drive ahead,” she continues as she glances at Octavia and Ontari, who are waiting for her.

“Right, right,” Clarke replies quickly. “Of course,” she says with a smile, although it’s not a genuine smile. It hurts to see Lexa leave and she is torn between saying something and letting the girl live her life. She wonders if telling Lexa in this moment could possibly cause anything good, considering how the girl isn’t even single anymore. “I’m sure you’ll do wonderful in Polis, they’re lucky to have you.”

Lexa wishes Clarke would say that last part about herself, but that’s based upon faint hope and something that might never happen at all. She could have been Clarke’s in the blink of an eye, wants to be hers, but alas. “Bye, Clarke,” she says, putting her helmet back on.

Clarke picks Aden up, placing him on her hip and she knows her son is struggling with this as well. Watching Lexa driving away, leaving, feels like a part of her heart is leaving too. She has never felt more incomplete than she does now. Unspoken words linger through her mind, having died at the back of her throat before she could get them past her lips to reach Lexa’s ears.

 


	45. Missing you

“I call dibs on the bed near the window,” Ontari says, throwing her backpack on the bed closest to the window. She likes to get fresh air and the best way to unsure that is by claiming this particular bed. Back at home she used to leave her window open day and night, but now that she’s sharing a room, that might not fly as well.

“No fair,” Octavia says, pouting a little. “I was going to call dibs on it.”

“I’m taking the bed closest to the door,” Lexa says, putting her backpack down to claim it before Octavia would. Closest to the door means closest to escape.

“Heyyy,” Luna says happily, bursting through the door. “Am I late?” she asks, putting her suitcase down on the floor.

“Nah,” Ontari replies. “We just got here.”

“We already called dibs on our beds though,” Octavia says, choosing the bed closest to Lexa’s bed so Luna will end up with the bed closest to Ontari’s.

“Oh okay,” Luna says calmly, putting her suitcase down. “That’s cool.”

Ontari glances at Lexa, gauging her reaction and wondering if it’s weird for her friend to share a dorm room with her ex. They did need a fourth person and considering Shay already has a room with some students, they eventually ended up selecting Luna. She knows Lexa said it is fine, but she has her doubts anyway because she knows her friend masks her true feelings.

Lexa sits down on the bed she has chosen and sighs deeply. She grabs her phone and looks through the many pictures she took from Clarke and Aden, back when they were at the beach during their vacation.

“Aw, Aden looks so cute in those pictures,” Octavia whispers, sitting down next to Lexa. “You okay?”

“It’s not the first time I fell for the wrong woman,” Lexa replies, keeping her voice low. She’s trying to see the humor in it, but what she’s been feeling for Clarke isn’t anything like the things she felt for her exes.

“You’re going to meet someone amazing someday,” Octavia whispers while reaching out for Lexa’s hand. “Right now it may not seem like it, but that’s because you’ll need time.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” Lexa whispers weakly, not wanting to accept that as the truth. “I really do have to get over her, don’t I?”

“For your sake, yes,” Octavia says, agreeing. “It’s not fair that you keep getting hurt. You deserve better, Lex.” She can’t stand to see Lexa being in pain any longer, because this is supposed to be one of the best times of their life.

“There’s a party nearby,” Ontari announces, interrupting the hushed conversation between Lexa and Octavia. “Y’all joining? I’m going.”

“I’m going to unpack,” Lexa replies, not being in the mood to party anyway. “Don’t let me hold you back from going though,” she adds.

Octavia takes it as a signal to give Lexa some alone time. “I’ll be going,” she says to Ontari.

“Lu?” Ontari asks. “You coming or what?”

“Oh,” Luna reacts, startled. “Yeah sure, I’d love to.”

Lexa watches Ontari, Octavia and Luna leave and as soon as they’re gone, she lies down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She wonders if the fact that Clarke cut her off when she left was about much more than Aden wanting to say bye. There’s this feeling residing deep within her, telling her that what she feels isn’t one-sided and yet Clarke has kept her at bay. Tomorrow college officially begins and she’s not sure if she’s really ready for it, but she has to. At least by now she made a decision about what she wants to study, so that’s a start. Three years and then she will graduate from Polis and have the chance to go out into the world.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning, students,” Clarke says, greeting the new seniors. She finds herself looking for Lexa out of habit, but the girl obviously isn’t in her class anymore. Instead she sees faces that mostly belong to students she saw nearly a year ago during the camping trip.

“Good morning, Miss Griffin.”

“Considering we don’t know each other that well yet, we will begin with an introduction,” Clarke says, moving to sit down behind her desk. “Emori, you can go first.” She tries her best to listen as her students introduce themselves one by one, but her thoughts keep drifting to think about Lexa who is in college with her friends and her girlfriend.

When lunch break rolls around the corner, she is relieved because it feels as if she’s not fully present. Now she can make herself a cup of coffee, or as she sometimes calls it, a cup of comfort.

“Hey,” Raven says when Clarke enters the teachers’ lounge. “You look tired, rough start?”

“I think I didn’t sleep so well,” Clarke replies, unable to tell the truth. “Coffee should help a bit though.”

“Here,” Raven says, handing Clarke a cup. “I already made some, I knew you’d be here any minute.”

“How is your first day going so far?”

“It’s been going well,” Raven replies with a chipper tone. “The juniors this year seem like a fun bunch or maybe this is simply silence before the storm.”

“Let’s hope it’s not the latter,” Clarke comments. She blows into her steamy cup before taking a tentative sip, testing if she won’t burn her tongue. “How is Anya now that Lexa doesn’t live with you anymore?” she asks casually.

“She misses her,” Raven sighs. “I must admit it is different without Lexa, but of course she wouldn’t be living with us for the rest of her life.” Admittedly it’s a lot easier for her than it is for Anya, because she personally doesn’t quite mind. She likes having the house with her girlfriend and their little girl.

“Of course,” Clarke agrees, smiling weakly. It bothers her a bit how it doesn’t bother or affect Raven in any way that Lexa is off to college, but she can’t blame her friend for handling it so well. If anything, she is jealous because she can’t be this indifferent about it.

“Polis is a good college,” Raven says as she takes a seat and grabs her lunch. “I don’t think Lexa is going there purely for the sake of being far away, but more so because it’s a good school,” she continues, sharing her thoughts aloud. “The whole visiting thing would be too complicated though, considering it takes eight hours to and fro, more if the traffic is bad. Weekends wouldn’t be ideal either, because Lexa will have to plunge through her homework and studying and it wouldn’t be great if she’d miss at least eight hours.”

“That’s understandable,” Clarke says thoughtfully. She can see it would be too much for Lexa to drive back and forth like that when she is supposed to study and do homework. “What about Christmas?” she asks curiously as it holiday jumps into her mind.

Raven shakes her head. “She’s not coming home then either, it looks like I’ll be able to do something with Anya and Riley,” she says. “I might plan a little vacation for the three of us.”

Clarke frowns deeply. “Lexa is not coming home for the holidays?” she asks surprised.

“No,” Raven confirms. “Apparently she is invited to spend the holidays at Lincoln’s place, along with her friends,” she explains from what she’s been told. “Lexa seems to have it all planned out, but she’s an adult now, so this was bound to happen.”

“It sounds like she is being quite independent then,” Clarke notes from what Raven is saying.

“Mhm,” Raven hums. “She is,” she says. “I know that it can be tough to miss the seniors, I still miss the ones from a year ago.” She pats Clarke’s shoulder. “No worries, after some years it will get easier to watch them leave.”

“It should be,” Clarke says with a forced smile. She can’t tell Raven that she really only misses Lexa, because of her own selfish reasons.

“I hope Octavia turns out okay,” Raven says worriedly. “If I had known that ranger was making moves on her I would have kept a closer eye on her during the camping trip.”

“That’s in the past now, Raven,” Clarke points out, not wanting to dwell on it. “Octavia is eighteen so we can’t say anything about it, nobody can and Lincoln is a sweet man.”

“I agree that Lincoln is a sweet man, but there’s no way for us to tell that nothing would have happened between them when Octavia was still seventeen. It boggles my mind how an adult can be attracted to a teenager.”

Clarke swallows nervously and decides not to comment any further. Instead she will eat her lunch and keep her attention on that. It would be incredibly hypocritical of her if she would say it is wrong for adults to be attracted to a teenager. A year ago she would have agreed with Raven without even thinking twice about it, but now she doesn’t see an issue in an adult being interested in someone who is eighteen.

“I know Octavia legally is old enough,” Raven goes on. “It’s just morally wrong if you ask me.”

“You really can’t let that one slide, can you?” Clarke asks softly, genuinely curious and not wanting to sound sharp or cold.

“It’s wrong when older people prey on younger people.”

“I don’t think Lincoln was preying on Octavia,” Clarke says defensively. “They are clearly in love.”

“Ah well, they can all do what they want,” Raven concludes. “Anya agrees with me though. She’d be so agitated if Lexa would date someone significantly older.”

Clarke can hear how not promising that all sounds and she doesn’t even want to imagine how badly Raven and Anya would respond if they would know how she feels about Lexa. The last thing she needed was to have another reason as to why she should stay away from Lexa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Such a boring lecture,” Ontari grumbles. “I tried to make notes, but I kept dozing off.”

Lexa laughs lightly. “Our professor expressed clear disdain towards you,” she points out, having lost count of how many times Ontari got called out.

“I took a bunch of notes,” Shay says, showing her notes to them.

“Oh, you made little drawings next to them,” Octavia notices. “These minions look cute,” she says as she points at the right corner where Shay has drawn a bunch of minions.

“Now that’s a tattoo I’d settle with,” Luna says, sharing her thoughts. “Not that I don’t like the tattoos you have,” she says to Lexa and Ontari.

“You have a tattoo as well?” Shay asks Ontari. She already knows Lexa has tattoos from when she used to go jogging with her in the mornings before they went to college, but she had no idea Ontari has one as well.

“Yeah, I’ll show you in our room,” Ontari says, inviting Shay in. “Lu noticed this morning when I was getting changed.”

“Luna entered the bathroom without knocking?”

Ontari smirks and shakes her head.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Luna assures Shay. “Ri got changed in the middle of our room, it was hard not to notice.”

“Zero shame,” Ontari says proudly. She closes the door once Shay is inside their room and pulls her shirt over her head to reveal her back. “It’s a tiger.”

“Cool,” Shay says, studying Ontari’s tattoo. “It suits you.”

“It’s my spirit animal,” Ontari explains. “Lex suggested it and it was one of the best suggestions she ever made.”

“I make plenty of good suggestions,” Lexa says. “I’ll even make a good one right now.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, put your shirt back on,” Lexa half-suggests, half-commands.

“That’s not a good suggestion,” Luna says teasingly, whistling at Ontari.

“That was very ungay of you, Lex,” Ontari comments. “Worst suggestion ever.”

“Ungay?” Lexa questions. “Please, the word gay might as well have my name under it in the dictionary.”

“You’ve been single for a year,” Octavia points out.

“And that makes me ungay?” Lexa asks disbelievingly. “Whose side are you on?”

“I’d say yours,” Octavia replies. “But I changed my mind when you suggested Ri should put her shirt back on.”

“What the fuck, O?” Ontari says, smirking. “You want to keep seeing me without my shirt?”

“Yeah why not?” Octavia retorts. “You’ve got a nice rack.”

“I’m outtie,” Shay says quickly. “See you all later in class, chickas.”

Lexa grabs Ontari’s shirt and tosses it at her. “Enough with the peepshow,” she says playfully.

“Alright,” Ontari says, putting her shirt back on. She plops down on Luna’s bed and swings an arm around her shoulder. “My tattoo looks better than Lex’s right?”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Luna replies, chewing on her bottom lip. “Yours looks great, but the one Lex has is far more detailed.”

“I’m still surprised you chose to study law,” Lexa says to Octavia, stunned even though it’s been a few weeks by now. “Kind of funny if you think back about the times you broke the law.”

“Don’t even get me started,” Octavia throws back playfully. “You’re studying to become a kindergarten teacher and I still remember the days where you weren’t fond of kids, but then you stumbled into cute little Aden one day at the park and here we are.”

“Excuse you, he barreled into me,” Lexa corrects Octavia, to make her get the facts right.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Aww, my little man,” Clarke says with a smile, embracing Aden. “How was school?”

“It was fun, mommy,” Aden replies with a big smile. “I played with Ophelia.”

“Oh wow, that does sound like fun,” Clarke says, holding Aden’s hand. “Time to go home and celebrate your birthday.”

“Mommy?”

“Yes, Aden?”

“When will I be big like you?” Aden asks with wide curious eyes.

“You want to know when you will be as tall as me?” Clarke asks, smiling at Aden. “I hope not for a long time,” she says earnestly, wanting to keep her son young and little for a while longer. “You’re my little man.”

“Home,” Aden says, pointing at their home.

“That’s right,” Clarke says proudly. She turns the key in the lock so they can get inside, to get out of the cold November weather. “Soon we will go somewhere to celebrate your birthday,” she promises Aden.

Aden sits down to play with his toys.

Clarke hears her doorbell ring, so she goes to open her door. “Hello,” she says to the man in front of the door.

“Hi,” the man replies. “I have a package for Aden Griffin.”

“That’s my son,” Clarke says, directly wondering why has sent Aden something unless…

“Sign here please,” the man says, holding out a clipboard.

Clarke is pulled from her thoughts and quickly signs. The man hands her a package and leaves. She closes the door and puts the package down in front of Aden. “This is for you, little man,” she says. “Let’s see who it is from.” She helps her son to open the package, which is actually big and a bit heavy too.

“Bicycle!!” Aden shouts happily, looking at the blue bicycle with training wheels connected to it.

Clarke notices a card and a DVD. She opens the card to read it to Aden. “Happy birthday, little buddy. From your friend, Lexa,” she reads. “It’s from Lexa,” she says to her son, if that wasn’t clear yet.

“Lessa?” Aden asks with big wide eyes. “I want Lessa.”

“Lexa is at school, sweetie,” Clarke explains softly. “I’m sure she would have loved to be here.” She puts the DVD in and plays it, sitting down on her couch with Aden on her lap.

“Lessa,” Aden coos when Lexa appears on the screen in a video she made.

Clarke feels her cheeks getting wet before she realizes she’s crying. It pulls at her heart strings that Lexa remembered Aden’s birthday and sent all of this for him, to make him feel as if she’s here at least a little bit. Of course Lexa would remember this day, there’s no surprise there.

When her doorbell rings again, Clarke quickly stops the DVD and opens her door in the hopes that perhaps it is Lexa. She struggles to hide her disappointment when it is Raven, Anya and Riley who are standing in front of her door. What an awful friend is she for thinking like that?

“I brought chocolate cake,” Raven says cheerfully. “Where’s the little birthday boy?”

“Don’t let Aden hear you say that,” Clarke replies with a smile. “He wants to be a man.” She moves out of the way. “Please, come in.”

“Riley,” Aden says with a big smile, running up to the little girl and hugging her.

“My heart is melting right now,” Raven says, touched to see Aden hugging Riley.

“Look,” Aden says, running towards his bicycle. “My bicycle,” he says proudly, trying to crawl on top of it.

“Aww that’s so cute,” Anya coos. “I used to have one like that when I was little, but mine was pink.”

“You sure topped the gift we have for him,” Raven says to Clarke, although that’s not surprising because of course her friend would get him more than Anya and she did.

“Such a pretty bicycle your mommy gave you,” Anya says to Aden, crouching down next to him.

Aden wildly shakes his head. “From Lessa,” he says, correcting Anya.

Clarke freezes for a moment when both Anya’s head and Raven’s head snap up to look questioningly at her, probably wondering why Lexa sent such an expensive gift.

“That’s… sweet of Lexa,” Anya says, thinking about how Lexa didn’t tell her about this over text or over the phone. “I can see that she really likes children a lot. It’s not so surprising she’s studying to become a kindergarten teacher.” She wishes her cousin would have told her about the expensive gift so she could have pitched in, but she knows Lexa is trying to pull her own weight.

“That’s what she picked?” Clarke asks surprised, since she didn’t know, but she also didn’t ask.

“Yes,” Anya says proudly. “Her dream is to work with children. It’s actually funny if you think about it,” she continues, smiling. “Maybe she will end up being Riley’s kindergarten teacher.”

Clarke is impressed that Lexa chose something with children, but she can imagine that the girl’s heart is in it and she knows Lexa had her doubts about studying law.

 


	46. Roan's perspective

“These exams are going to be rough,” Luna says as she opens her book. “Do you want to study in the library in a bit, Lex?”

“Yeah, please do,” Ontari says, nearly pleading. “If you two think you have to study a lot, try law,” she groans, putting her books on her bed.

“No thanks,” Lexa replies, shaking her head. She’s relieved she didn’t choose law, not because of the heavy studies, but because her heart isn’t in it. “The library sounds good,” she says to Luna. It’s easier if they split up that way, so Octavia and Ontari can study their own stuff.

“Ri and I will take the library tomorrow,” Octavia promises.

“Fair enough,” Lexa says, accepting. The four of them studying in the same room has proven to be difficult on more than one occasion because Octavia likes to be questioned so she can practice and that doesn’t butter well while Luna and she are studying something else.

“I can’t wait to get through all of this,” Octavia says, sighing heavily. “Once this is done we can party at Lincoln’s place. There are two spare rooms, so um… Lex, you could share with Shay?”

“If this is another attempt to try and get us together, cut it out,” Lexa replies sharply, leaving no room for jokes. “Shay is my friend, that’s all.”

“I know, I know,” Octavia says, holding her hands up in surrender.

Ontari nudges Luna. “Looks like we’ll be sharing a room then,” she points out. “Stuck with me again.”

“What a shame,” Luna teases.

Lexa puts her books under shoulder and grabs all the notes she made. “Lu, you ready?” she asks, waiting to go to the library.

“Yeah sure,” Luna replies, gathering her books and following Lexa out of the door.

“It’s still weird,” Octavia says, shaking her head. She didn’t think Lexa would actually end up being friends with Luna, considering they used to be together about a year ago, even though it didn’t last long.

“We did need a fourth roommate,” Ontari points out. “It’s good they get along now, Lu actually isn’t so bad.”

“Hmm yeah, she’s okay.”

“All this studying is going to give me migraine,” Ontari groans, rubbing her temples.

“Ugh, I know that feeling,” Octavia agrees, sighing as she skims through the pages in her book.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke smiles when Anya opens the door, letting her and Aden in. “Thank you for inviting us over,” she says gratefully.

“We enjoy having you over,” Anya replies kindly. “Now we’re all here.”

“Hello, Clarke,” Roan says with a smile as Clarke enters the living room where he is sitting on the couch. “And hello, Aden,” he adds when he spots the little guy.

“Hey, Roan,” Clarke replies. “It’s good to see you again, it’s been a while.”

“It sure has been,” Roan agrees. He scoots over so Clarke can sit down as well.

Clarke is thankful to be here to celebrate Christmas with her son and her closest friends, but she can’t help but miss Lexa. It just isn’t the same without the girl and as she looks at the various lights that are decorating the Christmas tree she hopes that Lexa is having a decent Christmas. A few days ago she received a Christmas card from the girl with a few pictures where Lexa was making silly faces, which made Aden giggle when he looked at them.

One of the most painful things is how her son has been noticing Lexa’s absence a lot as well and it has been weighing down on the both of them. She has been contemplating her decisions, wondering if she might have made a few wrong decisions, but even if that’s the case, she can’t go and change the past. Roan seems to be saying something to her and she wants to be polite and listen to him, but in this moment every sound is drowned out by her thoughts. It’s as if they all sound like murmurs in the distance which she can’t comprehend in any way.

Raven snaps her fingers in front of Clarke’s face a few times to get her attention. “You seemed quite lost,” she says teasingly though there’s an undertone of concern as she sees how her friend jumps up.

“I think I’m just a bit tired,” Clarke quickly lies. She doesn’t want to keep lying like this, but it’s not like she can go ahead and tell them that she’s in love with Lexa. Whoa wait…oh god… it’s true. She’s in love… with a girl who is in college. As if she needed to complicate everything further, as if that will help.

“Hmm,” Raven replies with some doubt. She can tell Clarke has been acting differently ever since the summer vacation passed and most of the time when she asks, she’s being told that Clarke is simply tired or something similar. “Do you want some champagne?” she asks, letting it go for now. “Anya is about to open a bottle.”

“Yes, sure,” Clarke says with a small smile. “Champagne sounds good.”

“Mommy,” Aden whines while climbing on the couch to sit next to his mother. “Where is Lessa?” he asks, pouting because he couldn’t find her and he knows this is her house.

“Lexa doesn’t live here anymore, baby,” Clarke explains softly, caressing Aden’s cheek. “She is in college, remember? Like I told you.” She had to tell her son nearly every day, that’s how often he kept asking about Lexa. Aden has had strong connections with other people, such as Niylah, but Lexa takes the cake.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“The food was amazing,” Lexa says to Lincoln, complimenting him on his cooking skills.

“Especially the chocolate dessert,” Ontari points out.

“I’m surprised you don’t have a stomach ache,” Octavia says to Ontari. “You ate so much of it.”

Lincoln points to a bedroom on the left. “Lexa, you can sleep there with Shay,” he says, considering Octavia told him they’d share a room. “Ontari and Luna, you two can sleep there,” he says while pointing to a bedroom on the right.

“Goodnight y’all,” Octavia says as she takes Lincoln’s hand to follow him to his bedroom.

“Goodnight,” Lexa, shay, Ontari and Luna reply at once.

Lexa slips into the bedroom she’s supposed to sleep in with Shay. She still hopes Octavia isn’t trying to get the two of them together, but at this point that would be a silly attempt because Shay is dating someone since the last two weeks or so. That’s fine with her because the girl would never be more than a friend and she still has feelings for Clarke. In the middle of the night she wakes up and decides to drink a glass of water and then go to bed again. She slips out of the bedroom and gasps.

Ontari has Luna pressed against the wall, kissing her deeply while her hands roam freely. She pulls away when she hears someone gasping and turns around. “Lex,” she whispers. “This is a new thing,” she continues honestly. “We’ve been getting along great lately, Lu and I.” She knows it looks bad that she’s doing this with Lexa’s ex, but they did break up over a year ago and she didn’t expect this to happen, it just did.

“It’s fine,” Lexa whispers, not wanting to know all the details of it.

“Are you sure?” Ontari asks. “If it bothers you…,” she trails off, unsure what she would do or say in that case.

“It doesn’t bother me. If you two want to be together, then that’s fine.”

“I’m happy you don’t mind,” Luna whispers. It wasn’t her plan in any way to be with Ontari, or at least not before, but she developed a good friendship with her which turned into more.

Lexa didn’t know Ontari had an interest in Luna, but she’s fine with it. She drinks a glass of water and goes back to bed to try and get some more sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” Roan whispers to Clarke, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

Clarke sighs deeply, standing at the door of Riley’s bedroom as she watches how Aden is sleeping next to the little girl. Tonight had exhausted him so much that he had fallen asleep, so Anya and Raven offered they could stay over until the next day and it’s not like she has anything else to do. She turns around slowly, facing Roan. “I thought you left,” she whispers, knowing he planned to go home.

“I will soon,” Roan says, keeping his voice low to avoid waking up the children. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay first,” he explains to let Clarke know why he’s still here. “You’ve looked a little off all evening.” He hopes he doesn’t come across as harsh because he is merely concerned about his friend’s wellbeing.

“I suppose there has been quite a bit on my mind,” Clarke admits with a hint of pain. It’s been a struggle to keep all her thoughts to herself, because she’s worried what her friends would think if they would know. Her excuse of simply being tired doesn’t hold up that well anymore so it is pointless to go down that road again when Roan would see right through it.

Roan follows Clarke to Lexa’s bedroom, where she will be sleeping tonight because it’s the only room left. “Would you like to talk about it?” he asks kindly, not wanting to come across as pushy.

“I don’t know if I should,” Clarke replies earnestly, chewing on her bottom lip. “You might not like my thoughts or strongly disagree with them.”

“I’m not here to judge you, Clarke,” Roan promises, placing his hand on her knee and giving her a light squeeze. “I’m here as your friend, to listen.”

Clarke feels like she has been teetering on the edge, close to falling apart. She can see that Roan’s expressions are soft, open, warm and honest. “I love someone I shouldn’t,” she whispers quietly, almost incoherently as if she spilled her most sacred secret.

“Why do you feel like you love someone who you shouldn’t love?” Roan asks calmly. He wonders if it is someone who is spoken for or if someone outright told Clarke the person she loves is not okay for her to love. There are certain possible options and he’ll have to wait to hear from her what it is.

“Because she is young,” Clarke sighs. “Not underage,” she clarifies quickly, to push Roan away from those thoughts in advance. “But young nonetheless.”

“You think you shouldn’t love her because she is younger than you?” Roan asks softly, while not pressing Clarke about who she is talking about.

“She used to be my student.”

“If you are speaking past tense, then why would it be an issue to love her, if she is not your student anymore? She is not your student and not underage, so it is not illegal.”

Clarke knows that both those facts are definitely true, but it’s a bit more complicated than that. “I have Aden and I don’t know if it would be the right thing to pursue a girl who is in college,” she explains sadly.

“You have been distraught lately and if you love this girl so much, why stop because you have a son?” Roan points out kindly. “Why stop because she is in college when she won’t be forever in there? Why stop because she is younger?”

“I’m worried Anya and Raven won’t approve,” Clarke whispers, feeling her last resolve breaking. “They hardly approve of Octavia being with Lincoln, so I can’t imagine how they would react if..,” she sighs and trails off, shaking her head to herself.

It dawns on Roan now that Clarke is in love with Lexa and if he thinks back to certain things, it makes perfect sense and he can see why his friend would worry about how Anya and Raven would react. “Clarke,” he whispers, holding her chin in his hand to look at her and he can clearly see tears pooling in her eyes. “The only person whose reaction matters is Lexa’s. It doesn’t matter who would approve or disapprove. If you love her and if she would feel the same, that’s all that matters. Even if the whole world would scream and say it’s wrong, it wouldn’t be wrong. If you love her and it feels right for her, then it is just that, right.”

Clarke lets Roan’s words sink in, making sense out of it. It’s true that she should focus on what Lexa would think and feel rather than how Anya and Raven might react once they would know. He’s right that this isn’t about others, but only about Lexa.

“Lexa is of legal age and is capable to make her own decisions,” Roan continues, expressing his opinion on the matter. “It’s understandable to be worried how Anya and Raven would react, but in the end what they would want is for Lexa to be happy and healthy. If she would be happy with you, then who would they be to object to that, to strip her away from that?”

“I’ve been so stupid,” Clarke whispers, feeling ashamed. “She fought for me and all I did was let her go.” At the time she thought she was doing the right thing, but now she can’t say it was because it’s like she simply gave up. “I don’t deserve her, she’s too good. The way she loves… it’s pure and honest.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Happy birthday!” Octavia says cheerfully, looming over Lexa who is slowly opening her eyes.

“Ugh,” Lexa groans lightly, opening her eyes further. “That’s today?” she asks, half-teasing and half because she didn’t stop to think about it.

“Yup!” Octavia confirms, smiling brightly. “You’re nineteen now, old enough to legally drink!”

“For fucks sake, O,” Ontari grumbles, moving her blanket. “Let us wake up first.”

Octavia replies to Ontari by sticking her tongue out teasingly. “We should celebrate,” she says to Lexa, keeping her voice a bit lower this time.

“Or I could sleep some more,” Lexa retorts, making her own suggestion.

“I agree with Lex,” Ontari says, holding her thumb up in approval. “Sleep is good, great even.”

Octavia frowns and sits down on the edge of Lexa’s bed, knowing all too well her friend used to jog in the mornings and now she’d have to push her to get out of bed. Usually she is the second last to get dressed, but today she’s the first. “I have a present for you, Lex,” she says gleefully. It saddens her that Lexa has been so sad lately and she knows precisely what the cause is. “Oh and by the way,” she adds quickly. “There’s some mail for you.”

“Mhm,” Lexa mumbles, nuzzling herself into her pillow.

“It’s from Clarke,” Octavia explains further and it’s almost comical how quickly Lexa gets up, to the point where she falls down onto the floor, if she wouldn’t feel for the struggle her friend is going through.

Lexa gets up from the floor and eagerly grabs some of her clothes. “Clarke sent me something?” she asks, eyeing Octavia warily to know this isn’t some kind of sick joke. There have been times where her friends teased her, joking that Clarke sent her a package and then they’d laugh and tell her they were just kidding but that the look on her face was priceless. It’s nearly pathetic how fast she got up simply by hearing her name, the one woman who she can’t forget. She even tried to date college girls, but as soon as they’d lean in to kiss her, she had to back away because she couldn’t do it.

“Yeah for real this time,” Octavia promise, not planning to torture Lexa with jokes anymore. At some point it stopped being funny and was just plain cruel. There’s always a fine line between teasing and bullying.

Lexa feels her heart beating faster as Octavia hands her the mail and even a package Clarke sent her. Even a simple ‘hi’ on a piece of paper would be enough to make her smile all day long, that’s how much she feels for Clarke. She gasps when she sees Clarke has sent her a medallion, quite similar to the one she gifted her once, only this one has a picture of Aden on one side and a picture of Clarke on the other side. It’s engraved on the back and tears appear in her eyes as she reads it.

_Now you can always keep us close to your heart, no matter where you are. Much love, Clarke and Aden._

“Would you like me to put it on you?” Octavia asks softly, offering to help.

Lexa nods and turns around, holding her hair up so Octavia can put the medallion around her neck. Okay, on second thought this is a million times better than a piece of paper that would have said hi on it.

Octavia quietly wonders what Clarke is playing at by sending this type of gift to Lexa and she hopes this isn’t another moment where Clarke is pulling her friend a bit closer only to end up pushing her away again. If Clarke dares to hurt Lexa again, she’ll have a serious talk with her that won’t be pretty.

 


	47. Letting go

Lexa huffs as she closes her suitcase, having stuffed everything in it and zips it shut. It has been quite the workout and caused droplets of sweat to form on her forehead. This school year has been tiring, but she finally managed to get through it and now she can go home to enjoy her summer vacation. After that she has two years left to go in college before she can step out into the world. She smiles when Octavia struggles with her suitcase and decides to help her out.

“Ugh,” Octavia groans as she pushes on her suitcase, hoping it’ll close. “Thanks,” she says to Lexa, grateful for her help. “This thing just wouldn’t close.”

“I wonder why,” Lexa replies teasingly, winking at Octavia. She knows her friend treated herself to a few shopping sprees and of course an overly full suitcase is the result.

“I got this,” Ontari says, swatting Luna’s hand away when she reaches for her suitcase. She smiles when her girlfriend pouts in a cute way that she can’t resist, the way that makes her have to kiss her. “I still won’t let you carry it.”

Lexa chuckles and shakes her head, endeared by how Ontari and Luna have been together for six months and are still going steady. It might have been a bit awkward that Luna is her ex, but she isn’t bothered by it and she can see how much Ontari is into her.

“Lincoln is waiting with his car outside,” Octavia says, grabbing her suitcase to tug it along.

Lexa appreciates it that Lincoln drove all the way here just so they can put their suitcases in his trunk for him to drive it all to their homes. “How are you feeling, O?” she asks curiously, knowing that Octavia will be living with Lincoln from now on and not with her mother anymore.

“I feel amazing,” Octavia answers with a big smile. “I’m so happy that I’ll be living with him now, it’s perfect.” She is nineteen by now and old enough to live where she wants to, even though her mother has had her complaints about her decision.

“Make sure you have a _safe_ summer,” Ontari teases Octavia, smirking because on her friend’s birthday she gave her a box full of condoms and toys to play with. She’ll never forgot how Octavia’s face turned as red as a tomato and the fact that Lincoln was there too was a lovely bonus.

“Did I mention how much I hate you?” Octavia retorts with a light tone, not sounding insulting at all.

Lexa walks up to Lincoln’s car to hand him her suitcase, followed closely by her friends. As she puts her helmet on and hops onto her motorcycle, she knows she’s getting closer to being home. It’s been so long since she saw her family and she misses them, but she has also been missing Clarke and Aden.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa grumbles quietly when Anya and Raven finally let her go after having nearly crushed her with their hug. She smiles at Riley and ruffles her hair a bit, seeing the little girl has been growing up quite a bit, now being two years old.

“Hey, Lexa.”

Lexa turns around upon hearing the familiar voice belonging to those words. “Oh hey, Clarke,” she replies with a smile, trying to sound casual. “It’s been a while since I last saw you,” she says, aware that it’s an understatement to say that.

“Lexa!!”

Lexa laughs and catches Aden, who jumps into her arms, briefly wondering when he started saying her name right. “Oomph,” she groans lightly. “You’re getting bigger,” she says sweetly to him. “The last time I saw you, you were much smaller.” She can hardly believe how much Aden has grown in all the months she hasn’t seen him. It’s nearly been a year and that was too long.

“How is college going?” Clarke asks, showing interest and wanting to pick up a conversation. She hasn’t seen Lexa in several months, but that doesn’t mean she stopped thinking about her, not even by a long stretch. After her talk with Roan and admitting her feelings, she has been thinking about the girl a lot more than she used to, if that was even possible.

“It’s been busy, but it’s not bad,” Lexa replies earnestly. “I made a bunch of new friends, so that’s cool,” she says, keeping it light. Seeing Clarke again after all this time feels like being able to breathe again.

“Are Ontari and Octavia still teasing you for being single?” Anya asks, grinning. She knows Lexa’s friends have been teasing her because they’re both dating someone while her cousin isn’t which apparently surprises them. Lexa informed her about little things like that through texts and calls.

“Yup, they still do,” Lexa laughs, knowing her best friends well. She dated a few girls for short amount of times, but recently she’s been single and she doesn’t mind it. It’s pointless to waste time on short relationships and flings, since she’s looking for something a bit more serious than that or well actually a lot more serious than that.

“It’s good to see you again,” Raven says earnestly. “Our home wasn’t the same without you.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t silent though,” Lexa retorts with a small smile. “With Riley it must have been quite lively.” She heard enough from Anya how energetic the little girl has been over the course of the last few months.

“We love having you back here with us for the summer,” Anya says. “Now we can spend some time together.” She has been waiting to do some activities with her cousin.

“I’m going to the beach with Aden tomorrow for a few days,” Clarke says, smiling while Lexa bounces Aden on her hip. She’s happy to see her son so excited. “You’re all welcome to come, if you’d like.” She’s making it sound like a kind offer, but in reality she has it all planned out for them to join.

“The beach sounds great,” Raven replies. “I’m up for it. Babe, what about you?”

“Yes, definitely,” Anya says, smiling. “I think Riley will like going as well, she can play with Aden.” She can picture the children playing near the water and making sand castles.

“I bought new sunglasses, so I’d say I’m going,” Lexa decides. This could be her chance to get a better tan because she lost most of the tan she used to have after last summer. “Can I ask Octavia and Ontari to come with?” she asks Clarke, unsure to whom the offer extends to.

“Yes, you can,” Clarke replies politely. She doesn’t mind it if Lexa wants to bring her best friends, as long as the girl will be there.

“Cool, I’ll text them to let them know.”

“Do you think they’ll have empty rooms?” Anya suddenly asks, realizing that they’re leaving tomorrow and Clarke only now invited them and she knows how busy the hotels near the beach get this time of the year.

“Well,” Clarke replies hesitantly, shifting from one foot onto the other. “I actually reserved a few rooms already,” she admits, being busted. “I had a feeling you’d all say yes.”

“You’re silly,” Raven laughs, shaking her head. “You could have told us directly.”

“Better late than never.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s eyes land on Lexa and she finds herself staring for a second longer than she should, admiring the brunette’s sun-kissed skin and the way her locks flow lightly with each gentle breeze of the wind. She watches how Lexa tilts her sunglasses up and places them in her hair. When their eyes meet as the brunette turns her head, she looks down and bites her bottom lip.

The corners of Lexa’s lips curl upwards and it amuses her how despite the generous amount of sunscreen Clarke used, she seems to be turning quite red. For the short moment where her eyes met the blonde’s, she could have sworn she was being stared at, but she could be wrong. It was a quick glimpse, not long enough to determine if it was more than a coincidence that their eyes locked.

Octavia rolls over on her towel. “I’m going to get a milkshake,” she says, pushing herself up. “Do you guys want one?” she asks Lexa and Ontari.

“Chocolate for me,” Ontari replies, wondering why Octavia even asks because of course she wants one and of course it’s chocolate.

Lexa gets up from her towel. “I’ll go with you,” she offers. “Maybe the others will want a milkshake as well,” she says thoughtfully.

“Are we their butler now?” Ontari asks, mockingly though a bit annoyed. “We’re here to relax, not to bring them drinks,” she points out.

“We can get them drinks now and they can get us dinner later,” Lexa says, compromising. “Dinner costs more.” She knows saying that will be enough to push Ontari over the edge and convince her.

“Good point,” Ontari admits. She pushes herself up and brushes some sand off of her legs. “I’ll bring you a chocolate one too, Lu,” she whispers sweetly to her girlfriend.

“Hey!” Lexa calls out loudly to draw the attention from the others. “Do you want a milkshake?” she asks once they look at her.

Clarke looks up at Lexa and cups her hand above her eyes to block out the sunlight. “Vanilla would be nice,” she replies.

“Make that three,” Raven says, nodding as Anya whispers in her ear.

Lexa holds her thumb up and follows Octavia and Ontari to get the milkshakes.

Clarke’s heart melts a little when she watches Lexa giving the children an ice cream cone. She didn’t think they would think about bringing anything for the children, but of course the girl thought about that. The way Aden squeals happily makes her laugh.

Lexa sits down on the sand next to Aden. “I see you’ve been making a sandcastle,” she says, pointing at some piles of sand.

“My castle is big,” Aden replies with wide eyes. “Riley was helping me.”

“Oh she did, did she?” Lexa feigns surprise. “Wow, it looks good,” she says appraisingly. “I can help you make more if you want.” She really did miss Aden and Riley as well, so it would be great to spend some time with them both.

“Playing with the kids?” Octavia asks while sitting down. “I didn’t think you’d like children this much.” She knows Lexa has been growing rather fond of children, but it didn’t cross her mind that during their vacation, her friend would actively spend time to play with them.

“I want to spend some time with Riley,” Lexa excuses herself. “And Aden is adorable,” she adds thoughtfully.

“Fair enough,” Octavia replies, dropping it.

Lexa grabs a bucket and helps Aden to fill it to make a sandcastle.

Clarke watches how Lexa helps the children to decorate the sandcastle with various shells and it makes her smile how happy they look together.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Aww, Riley and Aden fell asleep together,” Raven whispers quietly, smiling as she shares a look with Anya. The hotel room they have has two beds in it, one for them and one for Riley, but Aden appears to have fallen asleep next to their little girl.

“I will let Clarke know Aden is sleeping here,” Anya whispers, not wanting Clarke to worry or something like that. She sneaks out to the hall where the others are slipping into their rooms.

“Goodnight,” Lincoln says politely, before he disappears into his hotel room with Octavia.

Anya watches how Ontari and Luna enter their hotel room and she’s a bit saddened when Lexa enters her hotel room. Her cousin is the only one who has a room to herself, because her friends are sharing with their partner. She wishes Lexa wouldn’t have to be so alone. Her attention shifts when she sees Clarke opening her door. “Clarke,” she says to get her attention.

“Yes?” Clarke asks, snapping her head up to look at Anya.

“Aden fell asleep next to Riley,” Anya explains. “We’ll let him sleep in our room for the night. We wouldn’t want to wake him.”

Clarke smiles and nods, having no issue with that. “Goodnight, Anya,” she whispers softly.

“Goodnight, Clarke,” Anya replies before returning to her own hotel room.

Clarke decides to get changed and then go back to the beach to spend some time there before going to sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa curls her toes in the sand, which isn’t as warm as it was during the day. She watches the orange rays, painted across the blue sky, which slowly turns a shade of pink as the sun nears the horizon, slipping out of her view. The gentle breeze dances its way through her hair, brushing her locks over her shoulders. She walks closer towards the water, hearing the waves move in a calming rhythm.

“Beautiful,” Clarke whispers. She notices how Lexa lightly jumps up. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Lexa slowly turns around, meeting those familiar blue eyes. “I quite enjoy watching the sunset,” she whispers, not quite sure why they’re whispering, but it feels peaceful and pleasant. “The sky is painting a picture of its own,” she goes on. “Some may say that once you’ve seen a sunset you’ve seen them all, but I disagree with that. The painting is never quite the same.”

Clarke smiles softly and listens to Lexa, to the way this particular sunset is described by her. “Would you mind if I join you?” she asks politely, not wanting to disturb the girl’s alone time.

“Not at all,” Lexa says earnestly. She sits down on the blanket she brought and taps the empty space next to her, inviting Clarke to sit down with her.

Clarke sits down next to Lexa and looks up at the sky, which is growing darker with shades of grey and she knows that soon the night will fall. She exhales slowly and leans her head against the girl’s shoulder, a few seconds at first, but when she feels an arm around her shoulder, she comfortably places her head against Lexa’s shoulder. It must have been a year since they spent time together, just the two of them.

“It’s warm enough here to sleep on the beach,” Lexa whispers, thinking how she just might. During a summer night like this, she won’t be cold and she did bring her blanket for a reason. “I missed everything while I was off to college,” she admits.

Clarke lifts her head up, away from Lexa’s shoulder and turns her face to look at her. “I believe you’re right about it being warm enough,” she whispers, still feeling the way the sun kissed her skin, even though it disappeared under the horizon now. “It must have been difficult for you to miss everything.”

“Mhm,” Lexa hums, placing her index finger and thumb on Clarke’s chin to look deeper into her eyes. “Two more years of college to go,” she whispers, sighing a bit. “It has been difficult to miss everything,” she agrees, leaning in a bit closer. “I missed…,” she trails off, smiles and shakes her head.

Clarke searches eye-contact with Lexa, searching for what she’s hiding. “You missed…?” she asks, not wanting to assume if perhaps the brunette has been thinking as much about her as she has been thinking about Lexa.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispers softly. It pains her to be this close to Clarke and knowing that they’re just friends. As close as she might be with her friends, she surely isn’t this close with them, not close enough to kiss them. She takes a deep breath, as if she has to share her biggest secret. “I missed you.”

Clarke’s eyes flit from Lexa’s eyes down to her lips and she doesn’t know how much longer she can take this. For almost two years she has been into the brunette and all this time she couldn’t get Lexa out of her mind, no matter how much she tried. Even though the brunette isn’t her student anymore, that doesn’t change how Lexa is still a student.

Lexa bites her bottom lip and looks away from Clarke because each time she looks at her, she is tempted to kiss her and she know she can’t do that, shouldn’t do that.

Clarke gently cups Lexa’s cheeks, coaxing the girl to look at her. “The first thing you said to me was wow,” she recalls with a smile, from the first day she met Lexa in her class.

Lexa blushes lightly, remembering that day all too well. “You kind of have that effect,” she says unapologetically.

Clarke leans in closer and presses her lips softly against Lexa’s, moving her hands to carefully push the girl down on the blanket.

Lexa’s lips caress Clarke’s and she entangles their legs, kissing her deeper. She has waited a very long time for this to happen. “I knew it,” she whispers, smiling against the blonde’s lips as their kiss breaks. “You’re into me.”

Clarke chuckles lightly. “Of course I am,” she whispers, brushing a lock of Lexa’s hair behind her ear.

Lexa gasps in surprise when Clarke slips her hand under her shirt. “How friendly of you,” she teases, reminding the blonde of her old words about them being friends.

“Lexa,” Clarke says with a serious tone. “Will you go on a date with me?”

“It’s about time you ask me out,” Lexa replies, pulling Clarke closer. “Yes, I will, on one condition.”

“What’s your condition?” Clarke asks before agreeing.

“My condition is that I get to take you out on a date as well.”

“I can live with that.”

Lexa smiles and kisses Clarke again. When they break apart she pulls her shirt above her head, tossing it to her side and revealing her bikini. “The water will be nice and cool now,” she says, planning to go in it.

Clarke notices the ink on Lexa’s back, which she has never seen before. “You have a tattoo on your back?” she asks curiously, placing her finger on it to trace the lines.

“Yes,” Lexa confirms.

Clarke gasps as she takes a closer look. “I… I drew this,” she says, shocked. “It was… a year ago,” she recalls. “This looks like the drawing I lost back then. When did you get this done?”

Lexa bites her bottom lip and nervously turns to look at Clarke. “A year ago,” she admits softly. “Your drawing was so incredible, I had to have it.”

“Oh Lexa…,” Clarke says, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She falls into Lexa’s arms and kisses her, letting go of her fear that had been holding her back in the past.

 


	48. Shut up and kiss me

A smile is painted across Clarke’s face as she traces the lines of Lexa’s tattoo, perfectly recognizing the drawing she made all that time ago and it means so much to hear that the girl thought her drawing was special enough to get it inked on her body. That’s one hell of a way to show someone you admire their work, considering how permanent a tattoo is. She traces every star and every tree of Lexa’s tattoo, which decorate her back.

“I’m sorry I took your drawing back then,” Lexa apologizes, although she isn’t fully sorry for it.

Clarke moves her hands away from Lexa’s back and urges the girl to roll over, straddling her waist to lean down and kiss her. “Apology accepted,” she whispers right before kissing Lexa again.

“In that case,” Lexa muses with a twinkle in her eyes, “I’m very, very sorry.”

Clarke chuckles and leans down again, reconnecting their lips and the soft feeling of Lexa’s lips make her wish she would have kissed her last summer or earlier even, although now seems like an okay-ish time. “I’m not sure if I’m convinced about how sorry you are,” she says challengingly, backing away from the girl.

Lexa gently pushes Clarke down onto her back and pins her hands above her head. “It appears I’ll have to try harder to convince you then,” she says playfully.

“Mhm,” Clarke hums in response.

Lexa briefly kisses Clarke and then coaxes her to stand up. “Do you still trust me, Clarke?” she asks casually, clasping her hands behind her back as she stands next to the blonde. She knows Clarke has trusted her in the past when it came down to her motorcycle for example.

“Yes, I trust you,” Clarke replies confidently. “Wait… we’re not going for a ride are we?” she asks quickly, recalling the other times Lexa had mentioned trust. She has yet to get used to being on a motorcycle and the fact that it is really starting to get dark won’t help.

“No,” Lexa assures Clarke. That’s not her plan at all. She scoops the blonde into her arms and drops her carefully in the water.

“Oh my god!” Clarke squeals. “Fuck, god! Cold!!” she curses at the cold touch of the water on her skin. “Lexa!”

“You called?” Lexa asks teasingly, trying to look innocent as she makes her way up to Clarke. The water does make her shiver slightly, but all of that is forgotten with one look at the blonde.

“You!!” Clarke says, holding her index finger out. She splashes water at Lexa to get back at her, even though the girl is already in the water with her.

Lexa wraps her arms around Clarke’s waist and tugs her close. “You enjoy making me wet, don’t you?” she whispers in the blonde’s ear.

“I do,” Clarke replies boldly, gauging Lexa’s reaction to her admission.

Lexa kisses the expanse of Clarke’s neck, slowly moving down to her shoulders . Her hands cup the blonde’s breasts, stroking her nipples with her thumbs.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers while digging her nails gently in Lexa’s hips. “Kiss me,” she asks, needing to feel those soft lips on hers again.

Lexa kisses Clarke immediately, wanting to make her feel good. She seeks entrance with her tongue, which is readily granted to her and as her tongue curls around the blonde’s, she loses herself.

Clarke moans in Lexa’s mouth when the girl’s nails dig into her back, slowly moving up and down. She can taste vanilla on Lexa’s tongue and it’s delicious, begging her for more.

Lexa feels how Clarke’s hands move from her hips to her breasts and yet when she’s being given a light squeeze, it is unexpected and causes her to break their kiss. She rests her forehead against the blonde’s and smiles.

For a moment Clarke thinks Lexa is going to kiss her again, but instead the girl takes her bikini top off and flings it away onto the sand. If she thought that she was wet before then she’ll have to think again. “I… um… wow,” she stammers when Lexa grabs both of her hands and places them firmly on her breasts.

Lexa is pleased that Clarke is reacting this way to her and that she’s enough to have a wow-effect on her. “Wow yourself,” she whispers, but she already knew that the first time she saw the blonde two years ago.

“You’re so soft,” Clarke says admiringly, caressing Lexa’s breasts.

“I know they’re not much of a handful,” Lexa sighs, thinking how that has bothered some girls in her past.

“They’re perfect,” Clarke says before Lexa can add more to that. It doesn’t matter if the girl has smaller breasts than her own because in her eyes Lexa is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. “You’re perfect.”

“Perfect is an illusion,” Lexa replies, although she does view Clarke as a heavenly goddess.

“In my eyes you’re perfect,” Clarke says, correcting herself. She knows they always say that nobody is perfect and of course everyone has some flaws, but when she looks at Lexa, everything she sees is beautiful and well, perfect.

“I have wanted you for a long time,” Lexa softly admits, tangling her hands in Clarke’s hair. She has been quite patient to wait for the blonde to fall into her arms and it’s a relief that’s finally happening.

“You weren’t alone with those feelings. I didn’t mean to make you wait so long, but I was worried.”

“I know,” Lexa whispers. It’s been clear to her on many occasions how Clarke kept backing away with what could have looked like weak excuses, but she knew better.

“I’m ready to set my love free, with you.”

It crosses Lexa’s mind that Clarke might have heard her whispering that one night where she thought the blonde was already asleep, but that doesn’t matter now because what does matter is that they’re both here now, together.

“The water is quite cold, so I’m going to get out,” Clarke whispers, shivering more the longer she stays in the water. She holds her hand out towards Lexa, cocking her head to the side in a silent question.

Lexa smiles and gingerly places her hand in Clarke’s, knowing in her heart that she’d be willing to follow her anywhere, even if it would be to the other end of the world. “I’ll make sure you warm up again,” she promises.

It warms Clarke how Lexa wraps the blanket around her shoulders. “Smooth,” she whispers with a smile when the girl uses the corners of the blanket to tug her closer, pushing their bodies flush together. When Lexa pulled, the blanket that’s wrapped around her urged her to involuntarily step forward, not that she minds though.

“I have my moments,” Lexa says with the hint of a smile.

“Are you really planning to sleep outside?” Clarke asks, remembering Lexa’s earlier words. It’s not that it’s cold or anything, but personally she plans to sleep in her bed in her hotel room, comfortable on the mattress.

“I was going to, most likely,” Lexa answers, thinking it over. “Unless you have another suggestion,” she adds, wanting to know what Clarke wants.

“My room is empty...,” Clarke says, letting Lexa fill in the blanks.

“So is mine,” Lexa retorts amusedly. She wonders if Clarke suddenly got too shy to ask the obvious question that’s lingering in the air and she can only hope the blonde won’t backtrack.

Clarke sucks in a deep breath and gathers her courage. “Do you want to come with me to my room?” she asks softly.

“I’d love to,” Lexa whispers. She reaches out for one of Clarke’s hands and intertwines their fingers so they can walk back together. “I’m happy you invited me for this vacation at the beach.” It was exactly what she needed after getting through her first year of college.

“It was all a ploy,” Clarke blurts out without thinking. “I mean… um…”

“You really are something else,” Lexa whispers, happily surprised. “Do more of that, I like it.”

“Getting you into my room was not a part of my plan,” Clarke says, wanting to make that clear that she didn’t plan this bit out. “My actual idea was to slip into yours in the middle of the night,” she teases, joking about it.

“You would have found me naked in my bed,” Lexa says dryly, wanting to tease Clarke further.

“Fuck,” Clarke mutters as she pictures Lexa naked. Not that it’s the first time it crosses her mind.

Lexa doesn’t plan to lighten up just yet, because this is too good for her. “Considering I’ll be sleeping in your room tonight, I’ll stick to your room-rules,” she says thoughtfully.

“It’s fine if you want to sleep naked,” Clarke replies a little too eager, which she mentally curses herself for. “What I meant to say is that you should make yourself comfortable,” she clarifies, although she knows that’s not fully what she meant. “Don’t mind me.”

“Okay,” Lexa says, nodding her head slowly. “I’ll sleep naked then.” She sees how Clarke’s cheeks instantly turn red. “What’s the matter, Clarke?” she asks as innocent as possible. “Is it too hot for you?”

“Very,” Clarke answers, swallowing hard. She rakes her eyes over Lexa’s body and licks her lips.

Lexa chuckles at Clarke’s lack of discretion to check her out. “You look thirsty,” she comments teasingly.

“Are you torturing me on purpose?” Clarke asks shocked, dropping her jaw as she stares at Lexa.

Lexa calmly presses the button for the elevator. “What if I am?” she asks challengingly. “Are you going to punish me for being bad?”

“Fuck,” Clarke curses as a new mental imagine of a very naked Lexa floods her mind. “Wait until we get into my room, you’ll be in trouble,” she says warningly, planning to get the girl back for all of this.

“I’m counting on it,” Lexa replies, winking at Clarke and stepping into the elevator as soon as the doors swoosh open. “Are you coming?” she asks, waiting to push the button of their floor.

“You will tonight,” Clarke says as she steps into the elevator.

Lexa is godsmacked upon hearing Clarke saying that so shamelessly, but she likes it and she’s pleasantly surprised. “Touché,” she says when she finally finds it in her to speak again.

The doors of the elevator close and Clarke pushes Lexa against the wall of the elevator, kissing her and biting her bottom lip. Due to her sudden movements the blanket drops, pooling around their feet.

Lexa really doesn’t want to break her kiss with Clarke, so they slowly bend down together, lips still connected as they feel around to pick up the blanket.

Once the doors open on their floor, their lips are swollen while their cheeks are heated and they’re sort of pretty much on top of the blanket together.

Clarke looks up at the elderly couple that’s staring at them. She clears her throat and grabs Lexa’s hand. “Come, darling,” she says sweetly.

Lexa chuckles and follows Clarke, ignoring the elderly.

Clarke fumbles with her key in the lock and sighs in relief when she finally manages to open the door. She pulls Lexa inside and quickly slams the door shut as if she’s hiding a criminal or something.

Lexa takes of her shirt again and tosses it into the floor. She is about to remove her bikini next.

“What are you doing?” Clarke asks, drinking Lexa in as she flips the light on.

“I told you I would sleep naked.”

“Yes, I remember that vividly,” Clarke agrees. “I was just hoping you’d let me get that for you,” she says, feeling a blush creep up on her cheeks.

“My bad,” Lexa replies with a smile as she stops her movements. She sits down on the edge of the bed and winks at Clarke. “I’m all yours,” she says invitingly.

Clarke cups Lexa’s cheeks, pushing her down as she kisses her. “Say that again,” she whispers, wanting to hear the girl repeat her words.

“I’m yours,” Lexa whispers breathlessly, leaning upwards to kiss Clarke back.

“Mine,” Clarke says possessively. She claims Lexa’s lips with her own in a tender languid kiss, lovingly stroking the girl’s bottom lip with her tongue. “I love you,” she whispers earnestly, smiling down at Lexa. She knows it can seem early to say those words, but she has held it in for a long time.

Lexa smiles back at Clarke and tugs her down. She wraps her legs around the blonde’s waist and switches their positions, straddling Clarke’s hips. “I love you too,” she whispers, kissing the blonde. “I have loved you for quite a while.”

“I won’t let you go this time,” Clarke promises, as much to herself as to Lexa. She would be foolish to let someone like her slip through her fingers again. This might as well be her second chance and she doesn’t want to mess it up, no more excuses.

“I’ll be here all night,” Lexa whispers, although she knows exactly what Clarke meant.

Clarke lightly pushes Lexa for teasing her. “It’s too warm in here,” she says suggestively as she slowly takes her clothes off.

Lexa swallows hard when Clarke’s breasts are revealed. “Mhm Clarke,” she moans silently, admiring the blonde. “I want you.”

“Then take me,” Clarke whispers, wanting Lexa to have her as she pleases. “I’m yours as much as you’re mine.” She is ready to be with the girl wholeheartedly and to do all she can to make it last.

Lexa teases Clarke’s nipple while placing her mouth on the other. After having waited for so long it feels like they both need to release all their pent up feelings and desires. For as long as this night lasts she will make each second count and they won’t sleep much, but she has a positive feeling Clarke will easily forgive her for that detail.

Clarke moans while Lexa sucks on her breasts and she dares to bet that at the end of this night she’ll have at least one mark. That fact only turns her on so much more. She tries to switch positions to be on top, but the girl holds her down. “Lexa,” she whimpers. “Please, let me take care of you.”

There’s no way Lexa can say no to Clarke, so she gives in and lies down on her back, allowing the blonde to be on top. She wanted to spoil Clarke and make her feel good, show her that just because she’s younger doesn’t mean she’s less good at this.

Clarke kisses her way down Lexa’s chest, cupping her breasts and massaging them gently. She gives a few teasing squeezes, but nothing that would be too rough as this is about pleasure and not about pain. Her lips barely touch the girl’s skin as she kisses her thighs.

Lexa can feel Clarke’s wetness against her knee and it takes all the self-control she has not to switch places again. “Clarke,” she whispers, half-sitting up.

Clarke kisses Lexa’s lips while coaxing her to lie down again. Her fingertips dance their way from the girl’s knee to her inner thigh, slowly rising up and she revels at the gasp that escapes Lexa. “Do you want this?” she asks, halting her movements for a moment.

“Yes,” Lexa replies. “I want this,” she confirms. “I want you, _us_.”

“If this is too fast we could slow down a bit,” Clarke suggests, not wanting to rush anything now that she finally has the chance to be with Lexa.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispers while seeking out Clarke’s eyes until she holds her gaze. “Our feelings have been present for quite a while and I say this lightly,” she says truthfully, laying out the facts. “As much as I enjoy it while you talk, will you just shut up and kiss me already?”

Clarke has to admit that Lexa is right about their feelings having been there for quite a while, even though she always tried to suppress hers. She compels and kisses the girl, planning to kiss her as much as she wants her to. Her hand moves up far enough to cup Lexa’s sex and she teasingly strokes her thumb in small circles around her clit.

“Mhmn,” Lexa moans in approval. “More,” she whispers as she opens her legs further to allow Clarke easier access.

Clarke leans down and flattens her tongue against Lexa’s center, desperately wanting to taste her and she doesn’t plan to waste a single drop. She thrusts one finger inside of the girl, exploring to see if she can fit a second finger and perhaps even a third while her tongue teases Lexa’s clit.

“Clarke,” Lexa moans while gripping the sheet and squeezing it in her hands. She has to hand it to Clarke that she knows for sure exactly what she’s doing. “Fuck, Clarke,” she whimpers as she tries not to squeeze her legs shut at the overwhelming sensation of pleasure.

Clarke looks up for a moment to see the expression on Lexa’s face and she’s a bit surprised the girl is ready to let go so soon, but she can imagine it must have been a while. With that in the back of her mind, she probably won’t last long either, because honestly, Lexa’s sounds alone are enough to bring her near the edge, all she needs is a little push.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispers, feeling her walls clench around Clarke’s fingers.

Clarke’s tongue eagerly laps Lexa’s wetness up as she comes, tasting something sweet and tangy and so perfectly Lexa and she knows she’s hooked. From now on this girl is her drug and she can’t be without her anymore.

Lexa is taking ragged breaths and she can tell she is sweating, but so is Clarke. She pushes herself up on her elbows and the way she looks at the blonde must be signal enough to have Clarke kiss her, because she does. “I hope you’re not too exhausted,” she whispers sweetly as she tucks a lock of Clarke’s hair behind her ear. “I’m not done with you yet.” She shuffles a bit and pats the mattress. “Relax and enjoy.”

 


	49. Ranya reacts

“Good morning, beautiful,” Lexa whispers as she watches Clarke opening her eyes.

“Mhm,” Clarke hums, rubbing in her eyes to open them better. “Good morning,” she mumbles, yawning a little. “Were you staring at me?” she asks, seeing how Lexa is on her back and propped up on her elbows while looking at her.

“I was admiring you,” Lexa replies earnestly. “It’s nearly impossible for me to take my eyes off you.”

Clarke smiles and presses a soft kiss to Lexa’s even softer lips. “How long have you been admiring me then?”

“Since the first day I laid my eyes upon you.”

Clarke grabs her pillow and playfully smacks Lexa with it. “I meant how long you have been admiring me this morning,” she explains, although she’s sure the girl already knew that.

“It could have been a few minutes or perhaps an hour,” Lexa says, not quite sure. “I lost track of time.” That’s one of the things that happen to her when she’s around Clarke.

“You always say those things that make me smile,” Clarke comments, feeling that if she keeps smiling this much, her cheeks are really going to hurt. “I might have to recover once this summer vacation is over,” she teases, although there is a sad undertone and for a moment she’s worried she ruined everything.

Lexa pouts like a puppy begging for a treat. “I thought I could secretly take you with me and hide you in my dorm room,” she says playfully. Of course she knows it’ll be hard when she goes back to college, but she’ll do all that she can to make it work.

“You mean that room you share with Octavia, Ontari and Luna?”

“I could try to kick them out first,” Lexa muses.

“What about ou- my son?” Clarke asks, scowling as she caught her mistake mid-sentence. It seemed so easy, so natural to say it like that.

Lexa smiles, having heard what Clarke almost said, but she lets it slide for her sake. “I was hoping I could convince my professors how smart Aden is and let him sit in class with me and if that wouldn’t work my plan b would be to sneak him in with me under my sweater,” she says lightly.

“All planned out I hear,” Clarke chuckles, happy that Lexa didn’t turn this into a sad moment. They have two months, it’s not like they have to say their goodbyes right now.

A knock on the door silences them and when they hear Anya talking on the other end, they freeze.

“Fuck,” Clarke mumbles, worried what she’ll do now. “I um…,” she whispers while looking at Lexa. She sighs deeply and decides to explain it shortly. “Raven and Anya didn’t approve of Lincoln being with Octavia due to the age thing. I’m worried they won’t approve of us.”

Lexa nods in understanding and she’s thankful that Clarke is being honest with her about this. It’s sad to hear that her cousin wouldn’t approve of Octavia being with Lincoln, because she didn’t even know Anya had an issue with that.

“I won’t continue to keep you – us – a secret,” Clarke promises. “But for now it’s too soon to let them know.”

There is a set of knocks on the door again as Clarke and Lexa both hurry to get dressed.

Lexa gets out of the bed and hides under it.

Clarke opens the door and sees Anya with Aden. “Good morning,” she says politely, hoping not to sound nervous because her heart is beating like crazy.

“Good morning,” Anya replies with a smile. “Aden woke up and he asked for you,” she explains. “He also asked where Lexa was,” she adds amusedly. “I think she’s out running though.”

“Hey, sweetie,” Clarke coos, turning her attention to Aden. “I’ll see you in a bit for breakfast,” she says to Anya before shutting the door.

Aden runs up to the bed and jumps on it. “Mommy,” he says sweetly. “I want to play with Lexa today.”

“You say that every day,” Clarke replies, smiling.

“Today I really mean it, mommy.”

“Hey, hey,” Lexa says, crossing her arms over her chest as she crawls out from under the bed. “Are you telling me you didn’t mean it the other days?”

“Lexa!” Aden shouts happily. He jumps harder on the bed and jumps into Lexa’s arms.

“Today we will have a lot of fun,” Lexa says as she touches Aden’s nose playfully with the tip of her index finger. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m going to get some hot chocolate from that fountain,” Ontari says as she moves her chair back. “Lex, you coming with me for a bit?”

Lexa looks up at Ontari and frowns. “Okay, sure,” she replies, deciding she’ll see what her friend wants. It could be something important Ontari might want to talk about.

Ontari is silent as she fills her cup with hot chocolate and when it’s full she carefully puts it down to look at Lexa. “I saw you slipping out of Clarke’s bedroom earlier today,” she whispers, even though the others are far enough away. She’s not much one to dance around things, so she says it like it is, blunt.

“I spent the night in her room,” Lexa says calmly. It would be pointless to lie because Ontari knows how she feels about Clarke. “Last night I went back to the beach for a bit and she was there.”

“She invited you into her room then?” Ontari asks curiously. “It was her idea?”

“Yeah,” Lexa answers, now filling her own cup with hot chocolate. “She kissed me and then we went to her room.”

“Damn gurl,” Ontari says, impressed, barely holding back a whistle so she wouldn’t draw attention towards them. “Are you two a thing then now? Did she finally wake up and realize what a gem you are?”

“I guess you could say we sort of are a thing,” Lexa replies unsure. “We’re going to date.”

“I’m happy for you, Lex,” Ontari says earnestly. She knows Lexa has been into Clarke for so long and it was really getting sad how hurt her friend had been.

“Raven and Anya can’t know yet,” Lexa says quickly. She can’t be too sure if Ontari wouldn’t say something around them so it’s better to warn her. “Clarke told me that they didn’t much approve of Octavia being with Lincoln because of the age thing and she’s worried they won’t approve of us being together.”

“What the fuck,” Ontari says, slightly confused. “O is nineteen and so are you. So what if Lincoln and Clarke are a bit older? What’s it to them anyway? Geez.” She doesn’t get why Anya and Raven would fuss about it because it’s not like it is illegal so it shouldn’t be a big deal at all. “You’re all adults, do whatever the fuck you want.”

“I know, you have a good point,” Lexa agrees. “I guess she’s just worried about the fallout of it all. Raven and Anya assume that O has been with Lincoln before she turned eighteen and even though we know that’s true, they don’t know and don’t need to know that,” she explains calmly. “Maybe they’d wrongly assume Clarke would have been with me or something when I wasn’t even eighteen yet and I don’t know, maybe she’d get in trouble.”

“Ugh, this stuff should be easy,” Ontari groans. “Drama sucks and seriously, fuck what they think,” she says, expressing her opinion. “You’re into Clarke and she’s into you, go run off together or something and have a bunch of babies.”

Lexa is glad that Ontari called her aside to discuss this rather than throwing this onto the table with the others. “I’ll talk with Clarke about it how we’ll eventually tell Raven and Anya,” she concludes. “In the end I don’t care how they’ll react because I know I love her and I won’t let anyone or anything stop me from that.”

“I’ll be around for moral support,” Ontari says, giving Lexa’s hand a gentle squeeze. “If they all want you to be happy they should shut up and smile.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Anya puts her towel down next to Clarke and Raven, enjoying the way the sun feels on her skin, basking her in warmth. She watches how Riley is playing in the distance with Aden, along with Lexa who is keeping an eye on them. “There is a new man at my work,” she says casually, glancing at Clarke. “He’s really friendly, kind and funny.”

“That sounds nice,” Clarke replies. “It’s good to work with people like that.”

“He has two young children, a boy and a girl,” Anya continues, explaining. “The best part is that he’s single.”

“He has children and is single and you’re calling that the best part?” Clarke asks confused. It doesn’t sound good to her when someone with children is single because it means something happened for the parents not to be together anymore. If anything, that’s sad since children should ideally have two parents, preferably together.

Raven catches on to what Anya is playing at. “Well if he’s single it means he could date someone,” she says, adding her two cents.

“Someone like you, Clarke,” Anya says, getting more to the point now. “He’s really great and he likes children a lot, really a family type of guy.”

“Right,” Clarke replies, not convinced at all. “A family type of guy with two children who is single.”

“I’m just saying,” Anya says, holding her hands up in surrender. “If I was single and into men, I’d give him a shot.”

“Hey,” Raven says, giving Anya a light push.

“I said if,” Anya replies, smiling at Raven and kissing her. “I’m all yours, you know that.”

“You know it makes me a bit jealous, babe.”

“I’m not interested,” Clarke says with determination.

“You’ve been single for a long ass time,” Raven points out. “Don’t knock it until you try it, you know? Just one date, there’s no harm in that.”

“If you go out with him you might end up really liking him,” Anya adds in.

“No,” Clarke replies, keeping her foot down. “I’m not interested to date anyone you mention.”

“Why not? The love of your life could be one of the people we mention.”

“I’m already into someone!” Clarke blurts out, annoyed by their attempts to hook her up with someone.

“Whoa,” Raven says, shocked to hear this news. “You’re into someone?” she asks disbelievingly. “That’s the first I hear of this. Who is it?”

Clarke sighs and gets up, not planning to add more to this conversation. “I’m going for a swim,” she says curtly.

“What did we do?” Anya asks Raven, keeping her voice low. Okay she knows they may have seemed a bit pushy at times, but she didn’t think Clarke would blow up like that.

Raven shrugs. “Beats me,” she replies dryly, having no idea.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa watches how Clarke walks away from Anya and Raven, and from the looks of it she’s upset. “Hey, O!” she calls out, whistling at her friend who is a few feet away from her on a towel.

Octavia scrambles up and runs towards Lexa. “Yeah, what’s up?” she asks, wanting to know what her friend wants.

“I need you to watch Riley and Aden for a bit,” Lexa answers, knowing she can’t just up and leave the children on their own. “I’ll be back eventually.”

“Um okay, yeah sure,” Octavia says, scratching the back of her neck. “I guess I’ll uh… help them with their sand castle.” She turns around to where she left her things. “Lincoln, get over here!” she calls out, waving her arm. If she’s going to watch Aden and Riley then so will he.

Lexa gets up and runs towards the water, diving directly into it, ignoring the first cold touch of the water. She swims up to Clarke and wraps her arms around her waist. Anya and Raven won’t be able to see it from this far anyway and her arms are under the water. For all they know she’s just talking.

“They are so frustrating sometimes,” Clarke says. She slowly eases up in Lexa’s arm, thankful that the girl came here to check up on her. “I’m tired of them trying to set me up with someone.”

“They shouldn’t meddle so much,” Lexa says softly, stroking Clarke’s back. “I’m sorry they upset you.”

“I told them I’m into someone,” Clarke shamefully admits. “It just… got away from me. They don’t know it’s you yet.”

Lexa feels a spark of hope to hear Clarke say yet, which indicates she plans to tell Raven and Anya at some point. “It’s okay,” she says as she hugs the blonde tighter. “They pushed you to your limit.”

“I’m tired of being scared,” Clarke whispers quietly. “I’ve been scared of what I feel for you and now I’m scared of the outcome when they will know.”

“Clarke,” Lexa says as she gently urges Clarke to look at her. “You’re not in this alone, I’m right here with you. If you’re too scared, you can lean on me.”

Clarke nods and rests her head in the crook of Lexa’s neck, sighing deeply. “I think I want to tell them,” she decides, pausing for the girl’s reaction.

“Okay, Clarke,” Lexa whispers. “Whenever you’re ready we’ll tell them.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“This buffet is amazing,” Luna says as she fills up her plate. “There’s so much to choose from and it all tastes so good.”

“Don’t overeat,” Ontari says with a grin on her face as she stacks more on her plate than Luna has.

“Leave some for me,” Octavia butts in. “And for Lincoln,” she adds thoughtfully, smiling at him.

“You’re all being slow,” Lexa comments. She fills her plate quickly so she can go sit down.

“Ah I see you got some chicken,” Anya says as she glances at Lexa’s plate when she sits down at the table. “I went with salmon.”

“I randomly picked,” Lexa replies, not having put much thought to it. She watches as everyone sits down, Anya close to Raven, Octavia close to Lincoln and Ontari close to Luna. “There is someone I like,” she says casually, starting the conversation they need to have.

“Oh,” Anya says, surprised. She had no idea Lexa likes someone, but it’s nice that something is happening for her cousin. “You like someone?”

“Yes,” Lexa confirms, hearing how everyone else seems to be silent now. “She’s a bit older than I am.”

“Older…,” Anya says, frowning a bit. “Is she in her last year in college?” she asks, wondering if that’s where Lexa met the woman she likes.

“No,” Lexa replies. “She’s not in college, she works.”

“Works, okay,” Anya says, processing the information. “She didn’t go to college then?”

“She did go to college,” Lexa says dryly. “When she was younger.”

Anya drops her cutlery and stares at Lexa. “How uh… how much older is she?” she asks nervously.

Lexa looks around the table and she sees that Clarke is squeezing her fork so tight her knuckles are white. Octavia and Ontari are looking at her as if they’re trying to say ‘oh shit she is really going to do this right now’. Lincoln is giving her one of his warm knowing smiles as if he’s trying to encourage her. Luna has a rather blank expression and is unaware of what’s happening. Raven appears a bit tense and keeps shifting her eyes between her and Anya.

Anya takes a deep breath and clears her throat, still waiting for an answer. “Lexa?” she asks as calmly as possible, trying not to pop a vein.

“She is in her late twenties,” Lexa answers, as if it’s no big deal that she’s sharing this. She narrows her eyes slightly to take in Anya’s reaction.

“You like a woman who is in her late twenties!?” Anya asks shocked, struggling not to shout too much or anything with the children around.

“You like someone around my age?” Raven asks. “Lexa, you’re in college.”

“Hey, back off you two,” Ontari cuts in angrily. “Two against one isn’t fair.”

“Ri, it’s fine,” Lexa says softly. “I got this.” She can handle it and she knows Ontari wants to help, but it’s not necessary. “You might want to keep your voice down a notch,” she says to Anya and Raven. “The children will be scared.”

Anya looks briefly at Riley and Aden who look like they’re close to crying, which isn’t her intention. “Lexa, you’re nineteen, you’re in college…”

“I already know that,” Lexa replies, still at ease. “My feelings won’t change, regardless of how you react.”

“Does this woman like you back?”

“Yes,” Clarke says, speaking up. “I like – love- her.”

Anya’s jaw drops as she rapidly shifts her eyes from Lexa to Clarke and back, to see if what she heard is true. “Lexa… Clarke… but…Aden…,” she says, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“I know Clarke has Aden,” Lexa says as if she is the definition of the word calm. “They both stole my heart.”

“We didn’t give in to our mutual feelings until recently,” Clarke says, explaining that this isn’t something that had been going on for a long time, even though the feelings did.

“It’s perfectly legal,” Lexa continues. “I’m old and capable enough to choose what I want.”

“But Lexa,” Anya says, shaking her head. “You’re still in college, at the brink of starting your life while Clarke has a son and works. That’s a big commitment to be tied to.”

“They don’t tie me down,” Lexa corrects Anya. “I know it’s a big commitment, but being with them means being home. You can either be happy for us both or be bitter about it, that’s up to you.”

 


	50. Betting

Anya stands up, screeching her chair over the floor as she does so. “Lexa, Clarke,” she says calmly. “I want a word with you both in private.” She wants to do this without the others around, especially without the children who don’t need to hear any of this.

“I’ll watch the children,” Raven says, although she already figured that would be the point.

“Okay,” Lexa says, getting up. “We’ll talk somewhere.”

Clarke takes a deep breath and gets up as well, to hear in private what Anya has to say. Lexa is old enough to make her own decisions for sure, but she knows Anya is still the girl’s guardian. If this can go as smoothly as possible that would be nice.

None of them says a word as they walk towards the elevator and get in. When the doors swoosh open on their floor, still none of them has said a word.

Anya walks towards her room and opens the door, holding it open for Lexa and Clarke to enter. Once they’re inside, she shuts the door and leans against it, pinching the bridge of her nose as she sighs.

“You wanted to speak in private,” Lexa says, being the first to break the silence between them. “So speak,” she demands calmly with a serious tone in her voice.

“Lexa, you’re in college with two years left to go,” Anya says as calmly as possible, hoping they will both see her point. “By the time you graduate, ready to begin your life, Clarke will be close to hit thirty and Aden will be five. It worries me that you’d settle down like that when you have yet to start experiencing what life is like once you don’t go to school anymore.”

“I’m aware of their ages,” Lexa replies, dismissing that argument. “I don’t want to live my life partying or things like that. If I settle down, it’ll be what I want,” she says clearly, leaving no room for confusion. She’s not one of those college students who enjoy drinking a lot while going to random parties and such, which is something she already outgrew in high school.

“Clarke,” Anya says softly, not wanting to sound angry because she knows Lexa wouldn’t like that. “Did you think this through?” she asks, hoping Clarke will think about it again.

“I have,” Clarke answers, nodding her head. “A lot actually. As time passed, my feelings for Lexa grew stronger. I can see your concern because when Aden grows up, I will have a similar concern when it comes to dating,” she says, understanding that bit all too well. “In the end I want Lexa to be happy and I wouldn’t force her into anything.”

“If this goes wrong it will have consequences for you both,” Anya points out, concerned. She doesn’t want to see Lexa getting her heart broken and she knows Aden is already attached to her cousin. “The fact that Aden is involved complicates things.”

“We know,” Lexa says, getting tired of this. “Are we done here now?”

“Okay,” Anya sighs as she turns to Lexa. “If you’re happy with Clarke then I’ll be happy for you. I hope nothing goes wrong because I would hate to see you get hurt,” she says earnestly.

Lexa is relieved that Anya is turning around about this rather than blowing up more about it. She knows this must be quite the shock for her cousin to hear with the age difference and the fact that Clarke used to be her teacher, but she knows what she’s doing and she knows her feelings aren’t likely to change.

“I promise I’ll take good care of her,” Clarke says to Anya, to ease her mind a bit. She’s glad that they were able to handle this as adults and that they have Anya’s consent, even though they didn’t necessarily need that. Knowing what it is like to be estranged from family, she didn’t want the same to happen with Lexa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Be good for our girl, Miss G,” Ontari says right before popping a grape into her mouth.

“Yeah,” Octavia chimes in. “If you hurt Lex then we’ll do something.”

“Sounds very scary,” Clarke replies, smiling because she knows Ontari and Octavia are trying to look out for Lexa. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

“So,” Ontari says, crossing her arms as she leans a bit against the table. “What are your intentions with our friend?”

“Oh my god,” Lexa whispers while shaking her head in disbelief. “Are you two seriously acting as if you’re my parents?”

“Shhh, we got this,” Octavia replies as she places her hand on Lexa’s arm. “As Ri asked, what are your intentions with Lexa?” she asks Clarke, waiting for an answer.

“I’m going to love her for a long time,” Clarke answers, speaking from the bottom of her heart. She has a positive feeling that they could be together for a long time, considering the chemistry that has developed between them during all those months they’ve known each other. “My intention is to make sure Lexa is happy and I hope I can make her smile every day.”

“Kind of cliché, don’t you think?” Ontari retorts dryly. “Try again.”

“Ri,” Lexa says shortly as she narrows her eyes at Ontari. “That’s enough.”

“Come on, Lex,” Ontari replies, disagreeing. “We gotta grill her a bit to see what kind of meat we’re dealing with.”

Clarke reaches out for Lexa’s hand, locking their fingers together. “Perhaps we should go find Anya, the conversation with her seemed easier,” she says teasingly. “What do you think?”

“Okay, okay,” Octavia cuts in, surrendering. “Ri and I will behave.”

“I see your intentions seem good,” Ontari says to Clarke with a serious tone. “Okay, you can date our commander.” She winks at Lexa and holds her thumb up, approving of their relationship. It seems clear that this time Clarke is serious and isn’t planning to toy with her friend’s feelings as happened before in the past.

“Have fun kids!” Octavia shouts cheerfully as Clarke and Lexa get up from the table.

“And don’t forget, safety first!” Ontari adds in, grinning smugly.

Lexa turns around to look at Octavia and Ontari. “I’ll get you two later, tweedledee and tweedledum,” she warns to let them know what will be coming.

“I can see why they are your best friends,” Clarke whispers to Lexa as they walk away together.

“Oh yes, they are a bundle of joy,” Lexa replies sarcastically. “I’ll get them later,” she assures Clarke.

“It’s sweet that they care so much about you and friends like that are important.”

Lexa nods in agreement, well aware that she’s lucky to have Ontari and Octavia. “We’ve always had each other’s back and we’ve always been close,” she says, happy to have had them by her side for all these years. “We share our secrets and a lot of other things.”

“I told Roan how I feel about you,” Clarke admits. “He’s the only one I told because around Christmas, he was there and he was kind,” she explains. “I felt like I couldn’t tell Raven.”

“I can see why,” Lexa replies, understanding why Clarke would have only told Roan. “I’m glad Roan was there for you, because he’s a good man. You know… I used to be a bit jealous when you two first got to know each other. I thought you’d date him or something.”

“You didn’t really hide your jealousy that well,” Clarke recalls, knowing how Lexa rubbed her foot against her leg back then, which was very distracting.

“You’re one to talk,” Lexa says, lightly pushing Clarke. “Back with Echo you snapped your ruler when I was kissing her,” she points out. “Don’t you say it was a coincidence because I could tell it wasn’t.”

“She was all over you,” Clarke explains, feeling like snapping her ruler was a reasonable reaction. “I admit that I was quite jealous when I saw you with her,” she says earnestly. “And when I saw you with Shay I was also jealous,” she adds, now that they’re throwing it out in the open.

“Really?” Lexa asks, surprised. “I was never together with Shay. She has never been more than a friend to me.”

“I didn’t know that back then.”

“We’ve both been quite silly, haven’t we?”

“We sure have,” Clarke agrees. “Now there’s no need for jealousy anymore.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Lexa replies with a serious tone. “Aden is quite fond of me,” she continues teasingly. “I bet he will hug me more today than he’ll hug you.”

“Okay, you’re on,” Clarke says, accepting that challenge.

“Betting on your own son,” Lexa says, whistling. “What are the stakes?”

“The winner tops?” Clarke suggests, feeling like that’s a nice prize to win.

“I accept,” Lexa says, nodding her head. “I’ll enjoy being on top tonight.” She smiles as they walk onto the beach together, feeling the sand between her toes.

“You can dream as much as you like,” Clarke retorts while walking a bit faster to stay ahead of Lexa. “But we both know you’re a bottom.”

“You!” Lexa shouts, dropping her jaw upon hearing Clarke’s words. “I’ll get you!” It’s amusing to her that the blonde is so confident to tease her. This summer vacation keeps getting better.

Clarke shrieks and runs faster, making her way towards the water because she knows she’s going to get it once Lexa catches her. This playful part makes her feel younger again and she will enjoy every split second of it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Aden proudly shows all the shells he collected. “Riley helped a bit,” he says, to let Lexa know he didn’t collect them all on his own.

“Oooh,” Lexa says impressed as she looks at the shells. “It’s sweet that Riley helped you.” She smiles at Aden and holds her arms open. “Can I get a hug, little buddy?” she asks sweetly, knowing he won’t say no.

Aden nods vigorously and wraps his arms around Lexa’s neck, hugging her tightly.

“Really mature,” Clarke mouths to Lexa who is playfully sticking her tongue out to her. Okay so the girl has one point so far, but this isn’t over yet and she can still catch up, although she is aware of how fond Aden is of Lexa.

Lexa briefly lets go of Aden and then hugs him again. “That makes two,” she says to Clarke as she winks at her.

“That’s not fair,” Clarke replies. “You don’t get to stop hugging him for a second and then hug him again, counting it as two hugs,” she says, fully disagreeing. “That’s one hug.”

“I say it definitely counts as two,” Octavia says, cutting in.

“No, no, no,” Ontari says, shaking her head. “That’s one hug not two.”

Lexa narrows her eyes at her best friends. “You two bet on us with money didn’t you?” she asks knowingly, aware of how often they place bets. “Ri, how dare you bet against me?”

Ontari shrugs. “I thought she’d have that motherly persuasion or something,” she explains.

“I told you you’re betting on the wrong person,” Luna says to Ontari. She had warned her girlfriend that Aden would be clinging more to Lexa because of how playful she is with him.

“Twenty dollars that I’ll get the most hugs,” Lexa says, wanting to get something out of this as well. Of course she’ll get more than enough when she wins and gets to top Clarke, but it can’t hurt to earn some money while they have a bet running anyway.

“Whoa hey,” Ontari replies, waving her hand in dismissal. “I’m not going to pay all of you when this is done.”

“You’re in the pool, Lex,” Octavia says, smiling and accepting Lexa’s money.

As the day goes on, Clarke tries to get hugs from Aden, but she can barely keep him away from Lexa. Those two are like magnets and it is cute how well they get along. She is confident that her son won’t have any issues with having Lexa around.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s sweet Luna and Ontari are letting Aden sleep in their room,” Clarke says gratefully. “It was really kind of them to offer that.”

“Luna likes children quite a bit,” Lexa replies. “Aden is really sweet, so of course they like him and Ri is a good friend.” She appreciates that Ontari offered, because asking Raven and Anya to let Aden sleep in their room with Riley didn’t seem like a good idea. In fact, her cousin doesn’t even know they’re in the same room.

“Anya was watching you like a hawk when you walked into your room,” Clarke sadly points out. She can see Anya was checking if Lexa would enter her room alone and not enter hers. At first she did go inside her own room with Aden, but then she had Ontari knocking on her door for a switch.

“I think that even though she’s trying to be supportive of us, she’s still a bit uncomfortable with it all,” Lexa explains, trying to make sense of Anya’s actions. “It’s still new and I think eventually as time goes on she won’t even blink anymore when we kiss.”

“I’m sorry I barely kissed you when we were outside,” Clarke apologizes. “I wanted to, but I felt quite nervous.”

“It’s okay and honestly I think it’s for the best,” Lexa says earnestly. “We should keep our public displays of affection low. Not only for Anya, but also for Aden.”

“That’s a good suggestion,” Clarke agrees, smiling at Lexa. “I do have a lot of kissing to make up for though.”

“Mhmm,” Lexa hums as she pushes Clarke down onto the bed. “I like the sound of that,” she whispers seductively, leaning down. “I won the bet.”

“I had a feeling you would win,” Clarke replies with a serious tone. “Actually, I knew that bet was the only way to give you a chance to top me,” she adds teasingly.

Lexa’s jaw drops. “You did not…,” she says, shocked. “I can definitely top you anytime I like.” She grabs both of Clarke’s hands and places them above her head. “You know… I really like this bed in this hotel.”

“Oh yeah?” Clarke asks, wondering. “Why is that?” she asks curiously. Sure the bed is quite soft and comfortable, but she personally prefers her own bed at home.

“Because of the bedposts,” Lexa replies dryly. She gets up for a moment and returns with her robe.

“I thought you would get naked,” Clarke says, confused. “What’s the robe for?”

“It’s not exactly the robe I need,” Lexa whispers seductively as she removes the belt from the robe. She ties the belt carefully around Clarke’s wrists and then ties it around the bedpost. “Do you trust me, Clarke?”

Clarke swallows hard and watches how Lexa’s eyes are hungrily drinking her in. It feels good to be desired like this, to be wanted, to be viewed as if she would be perfect. “Yes,” she whispers, answering Lexa’s question. “I trust you.”

“Do you value those clothes you’re wearing?”

Clarke frowns at that question. “Um… A little, I suppose,” she replies uncertain.

Lexa fishes into her pocket and retrieves her Swiss blade. “Hold still, Clarke,” she instructs as she opens her blade.

Clarke gasps when Lexa cuts through her clothes, leaving her bare. She sees how the pieces of fabric are being tossed onto the floor. Okay, this is not what she expected at all and nobody has ever done this.

Lexa smiles at Clarke and lets the edge of her blade touch her chest, slowly moving it down. When the blonde shiver and arches up a bit, she pulls her blade away slightly. “Do you still trust me?” she asks, cocking her head to the side to stare at Clarke questioningly.

“I trust you,” Clarke replies instantly.

Lexa presses her blade gently against Clarke’s throat. “Are you sure you trust me?” she asks with a strong voice, as if she wants to hear no as a response.

“Yes,” Clarke answers, slightly nodding her head and feeling the blade press against her skin. “I’m sure,” she confirms. She does trust Lexa, no matter what, because she believes that the girl wouldn’t harm her.

Lexa lets her blade dance down Clarke’s skin, lightly nicking her right above her left breast, drawing another gasp from the blonde. She makes it better by kissing the shallow scratch. Convinced that Clarke really does trust her, she puts her blade aside so she has both her hands free. “I love every inch of your body,” she whispers, her voice laced with nothing but love and sincerity. “And tonight I will show that to you.”

“You’re amazing, Lexa,” Clarke whispers as a tear escapes her eye. She smiles when Lexa catches her tear with her thumb, caressing her cheek softly. “I’m lucky to have you, I really am.”

“For as long as you’ll have me, I won’t leave your side, Clarke,” Lexa whispers, promising that she’ll be here. Even when Clarke somehow wouldn’t want her anymore, she still wouldn’t fully leave her. There’s a big part of her that will always belong to Clarke and Aden, regardless of what happens. “I love you.”

Clarke feels new tears of happiness well up, knowing that Lexa plans to stay with her because she doesn’t plan to ever let her go. “I love yo-”

The rest of Clarke’s words are lost as Lexa kisses her deeply and cups her breasts.

 


	51. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue set three years later.

_Three years later._

Small sounds crackle through the baby monitor. A silent cry at first, but louder as it goes on.

“Mhm my turn,” Clarke sleepily mumbles while rubbing her eyes to wake up. There’s a lazy smile on her face as she rolls over and looks at Lexa. It feels surreal that they got married last summer and she has never been happier.

“No,” Lexa groans lightly as she opens her eyes to look at Clarke. “Not if I get to our children first,” she says with an amused smile. She leans in for a moment to kiss her gorgeous wife who seems to become more beautiful every day, if that’s even possible.

“This is not what I expected would happen,” Clarke admits, laughing lightly. “Most couples talk about who should get up when both parties don’t want to be the one to get up.” She had assumed Lexa would easily let her be the one to get up, but each morning her wife proves her wrong.

“We’re not like most couples, Clarke,” Lexa calmly points out. She stumbles out their bed when she hears another sound. “I call dibs,” she says possessively.

“You can’t call dibs on our children,” Clarke fusses as she shakes her head. She gets out their bed as well and crosses her arms, not having any of that. “No dibs.”

“Are you sure about that?” Lexa asks teasingly. “I believe I just called dibs on them.” Without another word, she hurries out of their room, directly followed by Clarke.

Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa’s waist, trying to slow her down to no avail. Dammit, she really has to work out more so her wife stops being the stronger one. Together they walk through the door, although she is mostly pulled along because she’s not letting Lexa go. It’s a ridiculous silly sight, but for them this is their daily habit. Either this or they tackle each other down.

“Mommy,” Aden says with a big smile, stretching his arms up in the air when he sees his mother. “Mama,” he adds while looking at his other mother. He’s so happy that Lexa is his mother too now, because he really likes her a lot and her stories are the funniest.

“I must say I kind of miss being called Lessa,” Lexa whispers to Clarke, knowing those days are long gone now. “Those were the days.” Despite that, it does warm her heart that Aden calls her mama, to know that she can be the mother of such an amazing little boy. Up until this very day, her wife is still the duck in the bedtime stories she tells to their son and she doesn’t plan to change that.

Clarke leans over the crib and smiles at their perfect little angel. “Hey, baby,” she coos happily.

“You are up early, eh?” Lexa says with a smile as she leans over the crib on the other side. She scoops Alex into her arms before Clarke can, being the lovely wife she is. “I told you I called dibs,” she sing-songs to Clarke as she holds their perfect daughter.

Clarke smiles and shakes her head, being used to this by now. When she was pregnant after they had gone through the process at the hospital, they had both been happy to hear they would have a baby girl to complete their family. A part of her had always wanted a daughter and she had been the one who insisted naming their daughter Alex, to which Lexa had responded she’s too addicted to her.

“Mommy,” Aden says with a whiny tone. “When will I have a brother?” he asks, asking the same question he has been asking ever since Alex was born.

“You’re the man in the house, Aden,” Lexa cuts in. “Protector of us all,” she says as she flexes one arm while her other arm is tightly wrapped around Alex.

“As lovely as that sounds, mama, I disagree.”

Clarke laughs while Lexa’s jaw drops. “It’s your doing that he talks that way sometimes,” she says with a light tone, playfully accusing her. It’s a bit funny to her when Aden is having an attitude like that and when he speaks as if he’s much older than six.

“Excuse me, but we are both teachers,” Lexa retorts, smiling. It’s nice how she is a kindergarten teacher with Riley in her class while Clarke is still teaching at Arkadia. Someday she will have Alex in her class and meanwhile her wife is waiting until Aden is old enough to go to high school.

“You’re our king, Aden,” Clarke says sweetly, dismissing Lexa’s comment.

“Every castle needs a prince,” Aden retorts, wanting a little brother.

“That’s a decision for another day,” Lexa decides, for now. “Our little princess will turn one soon.” A few years ago she never thought she’d end up with Clarke and have two children.

Clarke smiles fondly at their perfect angels and a part of her does desire more children, but for the time being she really doesn’t feel like going through pregnancy again. Perhaps she can convince Lexa over a romantic dinner to be the one to go through pregnancy next time.

Lexa sees the look in Clarke’s eyes that has all the telltale signs of her wanting more children. She’s definitely a goner, because there’s no way she can deny the love of her life anything. There is nothing she wants more than to spend the rest of her life with Clarke.

“Aden has his comebacks from you,” Clarke whispers in Lexa’s ear.

“No, no, no,” Lexa replies, disagreeing. “Partly yes, but it’s also your fault and most of all I blame Ri.”

“Ah yes,” Clarke says, chuckling lightly. “Auntie Ri sure teaches our son a lot of things. I’m happy she stopped cursing so much.”

“She kind of had to,” Lexa retorts with a serious tone. “Luna made it very clear she didn’t want her to say any bad words anymore, especially not since they have Kai.” She’s happy that throughout college, Ontari and Luna stayed together and they have a beautiful son together, named Kai.

Clarke grabs Aden’s breakfast so he can eat and she puts everything on the table while Lexa is helping Alex with her breakfast. “Honey, did you send out the invitations for Alex’s birthday?” she asks her wife sweetly, thinking about it.

“Yes, dear,” Lexa replies with a smile. She hadn’t forgotten to do that and she even thought about the cake and everything. “It’s all arranged, don’t worry.”

“Are Octavia and Lincoln going to come over?” Clarke asks curiously, since it wasn’t certain they would be available considering they are on a vacation. “I miss the twins, they’re adorable.”

“Oh yes, O texted me last night,” Lexa replies, recalling that now. “I was going to tell you, but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you up,” she explains. “They will be here for Alex’s birthday party.” She remembers how three years ago, after the shock of her being with Clarke, Octavia shocked them all way more later that summer by announcing her pregnancy and by telling them all she would have twins.

“In a few years you’ll have the twins in your class,” Clarke says truthfully. “You’re so lucky.”

“You’re right,” Lexa agrees. “Marie and Ricky are the cutest twins I’ve ever seen.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ontari huffs as she carries the gifts, which are getting quite heavy. “Next time you hold the gifts,” she says to Luna. “And I’ll get to hold our son.”

“Deal,” Luna replies with a smile. “You already hold Kai most of the time though,” she points out, adding it as an afterthought.

“You know I’m crazy about that kid,” Ontari says. “Our son is my favorite kid in the whole world and he’s going to be like me when he grows up.”

“You want Kai to become a boring lawyer?”

“Heyyy,” Ontari replies, pouting a little. “That wasn’t nice.”

“Are they slow to open the door again?” Octavia asks with a smile as she shows up behind Ontari. “I bet Lex is still blowing up some balloons.”

“Nah,” Ontari says, disagreeing. “You know how much Lex dislikes balloons, always saying they’re full of spit.”

“Well the balloons aren’t for her,” Octavia points out. “This is Alex’s birthday party.”

“Oh my god,” Ontari says as she looks at the twins. “You dressed them identical again?”

“Octavia likes to dress them this way,” Lincoln says with a friendly tone in his voice. “She said it would be cute.”

“You can’t dress them the same, O.”

“Why not?” Octavia asks. “Because they’re a girl and a boy?”

“No, you id- silly,” Ontari replies, correcting herself to avoid cursing. “Because when they’re older they won’t be happy to find out you used to dress them identically. That’s an awful thing to do with twins,” she explains, pointing it out. “Most twins don’t like that stuff. What would you say if I’d dress exactly the same as you and do my hair the same way and such?”

“Oh you would do that?” Octavia asks as her eyes shine. “That would be amazing!”

“You’re missing the point, O.”

“While it is fun to hear you all talking, will someone finally open that door?” Raven asks impatiently, tapping her foot as she stands next to Anya with Riley.

“Hey,” Octavia says, looking at Raven. “We didn’t even know you arrived as well.” She sees the way the Latina looks at her twins and she can guess what she’s thinking. Aside from her mother and her older brother, Raven’s reaction to her pregnancy three years ago was the strongest and the worst. She will never forget how the Latina had a go at Lincoln for knocking up a nineteen year old girl.

“Did someone knock on the door yet?” Anya asks, curious as to why Clarke and Lexa haven’t opened yet. “Or rang the bell or something?”

“Don’t look at me,” Ontari replies, puffing as she tries not to drop the gifts. “I have my hands full.”

Luna presses the doorbell quickly two times to make sure Clarke and Lexa will hear it. “They should open up soon,” she says to the others.

The door swings open, revealing Aden. “Hello,” he says, greeting them all.

“Hi, Aden,” Octavia replies with a big smile. “You’re getting so big,” she says, impressed. “Already opening doors, such a young gentleman you are.”

“Mama said it is polite to do,” Aden says, proud of himself. He steps out of the way so they can all enter. “Mommy is upstairs with Alex for her clothes.”

“Hey, kid,” Ontari says, nodding her head towards Aden. She holds her hand up, low enough for him to give her a high five. “That’s the best thing Lex ever taught you, if you ask me.” She shuts the door once they’re all inside and puts the gifts aside, crouching down. “Now give me a hug.”

“I love you, auntie Ri.”

“Y’all heard him,” Ontari says happily. “This kid loves me.” She winks at the others, who are waiting their turn to hug Aden. “I love you too, kid.”

Anya lifts Aden up, even though he’s not a toddler anymore. “You’re growing up so fast,” she says as she hugs him. “I still remember the days where you were really little.”

“Mommy has been giving me a lot of spinach,” Aden replies. “Mama said it will make me strong like uncle Lincoln.”

“One day you will be,” Lincoln says as he ruffles Aden’s hair. “I’m sure of it.”

“Hello, everyone,” Roan says politely as he gets up from the couch. He arrived before the others did, being Clarke’s closest friend, even though Raven is also close with her. The last three years their friendship grew stronger. “Can I hold Kai for a moment?” he asks his younger sister.

“Lu, baby,” Ontari whispers sweetly in Luna’s ear. “My bro wants to hold our kid for a moment.”

Luna smiles and carefully hands Kai over to Roan. “Don’t drop him,” she warns, although she knows he wouldn’t drop him so easily.

“I have new dinosaurs and other toys,” Aden announces as he glances at the children.

Octavia smiles knowingly and bends down. “Marie, Ricky, go play with Aden, okay?” she asks nicely. “Be careful with the twins,” she warns Aden. “They’re still little.”

“Riley, go play sweetie,” Raven says sweetly.

“Okay, mama,” Riley replies before running off to play with Aden and the twins.

“I can hardly wait for Alex and Kai to grow up a bit,” Octavia says. “Once they’re a bit older they can play with Marie and Ricky. I like how they can all grow up together and I think they’ll be good friends.” She enjoys the family they all created and even though they’re not blood related, she is happy she can be the aunt of their children and the other way around.

“There they are,” Anya says with a smile when she sees Lexa, Clarke and Alex. “Oh my god, Alex looks so cute,” she coos as she looks at the little girl wearing a little white dress.

“Awww,” Octavia coos, melting on the inside. “She’s such a little angel.”

“Happy birthday, baby girl,” Lexa whispers, kissing Alex’s cheek.

“Party time,” Clarke announces happily. “The cake is in the kitchen.”

“Is there chocolate involved?” Ontari asks with a serious tone. Chocolate isn’t a joke to her and she really hopes there’s chocolate in the cake or on it.

Lexa chuckles, because she already knew Ontari would ask that. “There is a second cake, a chocolate cake,” she replies, seeing her friend smile.

“You know the way to my heart.”

“We have more chocolate at home,” Luna whispers to Ontari.

“I love you,” Ontari replies sweetly, looking forward to have more chocolate.

“I’m surprised you didn’t name your son chocolate,” Octavia comments.

“I couldn’t convince Lu to name Kai chocolate.”

“Seriously?”

“Nah, I’m just messing with ya.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Raven and I have some news to share,” Anya announces once they’re done eating cake. She had been waiting for a proper time to tell them all.

“Shhh children,” Lexa whispers as she holds her index finger in front of her lips. “What’s the news?” she asks her cousin curiously.

“Our family will be expanding soon,” Anya says proudly. “We decided to adopt again.”

“No way,” Clarke says, surprised. “You’ll have a second child?”

“Yes,” Raven replies. “Anya and I decided that it is time.”

“Did they give you a time or something?” Lexa asks. “Are you on the list?”

Anya nods in response. “Next month we can welcome our second child into our family.”

“Congratulations!” Clarke says sincerely. “I’m so happy for you both.”

“I want to be a godmother,” Octavia says, putting herself out as a candidate.

“Oh no no no,” Ontari cuts in. “You’re already Kai’s godmother.”

“But you’re Alex’s godmother,” Octavia retorts.

“We will figure something out,” Anya promises.

“I have an idea,” Ontari says, grinning as she develops it in her mind.

“Oh here we go,” Lexa sighs, sensing what Ontari has in mind.

“We should have a competition,” Ontari suggests. “The winner can be the godmother.”

“Or I could just call dibs,” Clarke says. “I call dibs.”

“What?” Lexa asks, a bit shocked. “You can’t steal my trick.”

“This is marriage, you have to share.”

Aden giggles and smiles when the adults all look at him. “You are all being really silly,” he says in a cutesy way. “For your information, I’ll be the godmother.”

Clarke chuckles and picks Aden up to tickle him. “That’s not how it works, little man.”

“I can compromise, mommy,” Aden replies with a serious tone.

“Do tell. I’d love to hear your compromise.”

“If I get a baby brother I won’t say a word about it anymore,” Aden says resolute. “Please mommy,” he pleads. When his mother turns to look at his other mother, he does the same. “Please mama,” he pouts.

“No way,” Lexa says, putting her foot down when she sees Clarke and Aden giving her matching puppy eyes with a pouty lip. “That won’t work on me. No… stop it… stop.” She shakes her head, because this is unbelievable. “Okay fine, one more child.”

“Man,” Ontari comments, smirking. “Things are never boring around here.”

“I can’t believe you let yourself get bribed by a child,” Octavia says, laughing lightly. “You’re definitely not wearing the pants around here, Lex.”

“You’re one to talk,” Lexa retorts. “When you went to Disneyland for a weekend with the twins you had to make it a week because they didn’t want to leave,” she points out, recalling that moment.

“Don’t say these things in front of the children,” Roan says, warning them. “If they know the power of their cuteness, they’ll use it more.”

“Please, you can’t even resist them,” Ontari says dryly. “You’re their favorite uncle and you adore them all. You bought Kai enough presents to last him for the next five years or so.”

“I have to spoil my nephew.”

“We should all go on vacation together,” Clarke suggests. “It’ll be so much fun with the children.”

“Mama.”

Lexa gasps and turns around. “Did you hear that?” she asks her wife. “Alex said mama!”

“Aww, baby girl,” Clarke coos as she scoops Alex into her arms. “Do you want mama?”

“Mama,” Alex coos while clapping her hands together.

“Did you all hear that?” Lexa asks. “Our baby girl is a genius.” She takes Alex over from Clarke and kisses her cheek. “You’re so smart and beautiful, just like your mommy.” She wraps one arm around her wife and beckons Aden to cuddle as well. “I couldn’t be happier than I am now,” she says earnestly. “I have my queen, my princess and my prince.”

“I will be the king,” Aden says, sure of his words. “My brother will be the prince.”

“My bad,” Lexa says, correcting herself. “My king.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags. This is a slow-burn. If that's not what you like, then you probably shouldn't read this story.  
> Patience is a virtue. :)
> 
> (DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY FICS. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR ANY OF MY FICS TO BE POSTED ANYWHERE EVER!!)


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